NOTE: Another short section. We're getting close to the end now. Enjoy.

Part 4

The French honeymooner is right; the early evening is as sticky as the previous one, but without the promise of a coming storm to alleviate the damp and sultry heat.

I take my notebook down to the pool and pretend to write while I watch Daddy and Papi with their children, but after an hour the sun gets to be too intense for me and I wander back into the sunlit but climate-controlled resort lobby. It's an oddly shaped room with conversation nooks built into every corner, somewhat partitioned off to give at least the impression of privacy. There's a bustle of activity as the patrons come and go to their afternoon and early evening activities. The happy voices and crisp footsteps on the hardwood floor soon melt into a pleasant hum in the back of my mind, and I find myself opening my notebook, pen in hand.

Months pass. A year. My twenty-first birthday comes and goes, unnoted by all but a few friends. My father's closest confidant sends a bottle of expensive champagne, accompanied by an invitation to join him and his wife for a weekend in Anchorage the next time I can get away from school. But I don't want to go. Staring at his words on the PADD screen, I remember all the fun I had there with my parents when I was a little boy, and I can't imagine going back there without them. It's only then that I realize my withdrawal from my former life is nearly complete.

"Kathryn?"

"You go ahead. I'll be right there."

I glance up from my notebook in time to see Janeway and Toussaint hurry into the lobby. Toussaint has a PADD in one hand and a towel in the other; Janeway is carrying both tennis rackets. She has paused, looking at something that I can't see from where I'm sitting, something around the corner to my left. Toussaint follows her gaze and sighs. "Our dinner reservation is in two hours," he says.

She turns to him with a raised eyebrow. "I'll be ready. Will you?"

He raises the PADD slightly. "This won't take more than an hour."

She gives him a curt nod and turns back to whatever she was looking at. "That should give you plenty of time."

His lips press together in a thin, tight line. "You, too."

Her gaze whips back to his and they stare at each other. "I'll be up in a few minutes, Marcel," she finally says.

His face softens and he leans down to place a light kiss on her lips. "I know. I'll see you soon." Then he turns and heads for the bank of lifts at the back of the lobby behind and to my right, while the Admiral steps around the corner and out of my sight.

I start to take up my pen again, but her voice stops me. "How was the horseback riding?"

There's the creak of a body shifting in a wooden chair, and then Chakotay's voice. "It was all right. Seven seemed to enjoy it after a while."

"Where is she now?"

"She wanted to take a shower and regenerate for an hour or so. I thought I'd go down to the beach and meditate, but I stopped in for a cold drink first."

"You can't meditate in your room?"

"The portable unit gives me a headache. I try to stay far away when she's using it."

There's a rustle of movement and the slight creak of a second chair. "It shouldn't make a noise."

"It's not a noise. It's a…vibration or something. B'Elanna and the Doc have gone over it a dozen times. They can't figure it out."

"Do you want me to look at it?"

I can hear the smile in his voice. "No, but thanks for the offer."

Silence for a moment, and then the Admiral's voice again. "You look tired."

He hesitates, and I wish I could see the expression on his face. "Actually, I am tired. This has not been our best day."

"Do want to talk about it?"

"Yes…but no. I'm sorry."

"I understand."

"Do you?" He shifts in his chair again. "Where's Marcel? Busy again?"

Her voice, when it comes, is light. But there's a steel in her words that I've not heard up to this point. "You know, it occurs to me that you're only seeing a very small and skewed slice of my relationship with Marcel. You may have gotten the wrong impression about him."

I twirl the pen in my fingertips. If Chakotay's gotten the wrong impression about Marcel Toussaint, then so have I.

The Captain gives a vague hum and the Admiral continues. "This business with the Thintath came up very suddenly. He didn't expect to be so busy during this vacation."

There is puzzlement in Chakotay's next statement. "I thought it all started just a couple weeks ago."

"It did."

"Couldn't reschedule?"

"Actually, we hadn't scheduled this vacation. It was very…spur-of-the-moment."

"Then why did you come if you knew you might not be able to spend any significant time together?"

"Marcel came because I asked him to."

"And why did you come, Kathryn? Why here? Why now? Why this week in this place, when you knew he'd be working?"

I lean forward in my chair, elbows on my knees. There is something significant happening just below the surface of this conversation, and I can't quite figure out what it is.

This time, her voice is intense but so low I almost can't make out the words. "If you have something to ask me, Chakotay, just ask it. I will tell you. But let me caution you: Before you ask the question, you'd better be certain you're prepared to hear the truthful answer."

I hold my breath.

The silence stretches between them.

After a full minute, there's the creak of a chair, a heavy step on the wooden floor, and Chakotay's voice. "I think I'll go down to the beach for a while," he says.

"All right."

"Do you think you could get away for a drink later, Kathryn? We need to talk."

"I could probably manage half an hour or so."

"Good. I'll message you with the time and place."

Before Janeway can respond, the lift doors at the back of the lobby open and Seven sails out. Looking refreshed and even exhilarated, she heads my way, taking no notice of my presence, and is just about to turn the corner when Janeway replies.

"I look forward to it."

At the sound of the Admiral's voice, Seven stops in her tracks.

"I'll see you then."

At the sound of Chakotay's voice, Seven's eyes flutter closed. She turns back to the lifts, but before she's able to take a step Admiral Janeway comes around the corner and pulls up short. "Seven!" I try to sink into my chair.

Just before she faces Janeway, Seven squares her shoulders. "Admiral."

Chakotay darts around the corner, too, eyes wide. "I thought you were regenerating," he says.

Seven gives a little shake of her head, eyeing the curious leather-wrapped package in his hands. "I decided it could wait until later."

Janeway forces a smile. "Will you and the Captain be joining us for dinner tonight, Seven?"

"I do not believe so."

Janeway's cheer falters. "I'm sorry to hear it. I was hoping you'd tell me all about your first horseback riding experience."

"Perhaps another time, Admiral."

"Perhaps." She looks from Seven to Chakotay and back again. "I'll leave you to it." She nods to Chakotay. "Captain."

"Admiral." His eyes are on Seven's. As soon as Janeway is out of earshot, he relaxes a fraction. "Is everything all right? I thought you'd be at least an hour."

"No. I found myself too…energized by the ride to relax. I did not want to lose that feeling." She steps up to the Captain, pressing her body close to his. "I thought we might want to take advantage of this feeling."

Chakotay's eyes close. "I'm pretty tired, Seven."

She wraps her arms around his neck and brushes her lips across his cheek. Her approach is about as subtle as a silk negligée wrapped around a baseball bat. "Not too tired, I trust."

"It's been a long day," he sighs, clutching the bundle of hide in his left hand.

"But we spent most of the day in the room."

"That's why I'm so tired."

Faintly disgusted, I wrinkle my nose at the implication and try to disappear further into my chair, but Seven's response catches me off guard. "Perhaps if you hadn't insisted on arguing with me all morning—"

"Maybe if you hadn't made so many wild accusations and then refused to listen to my answers, I wouldn't have argued with you."

She drops her arms and steps back. They are both silent for a moment, staring at each other. Seven's face shows nothing; in the four days I've been watching them, it's never really shown much. But now Chakotay has gone expressionless, too. They simply regard each other dispassionately, until Seven takes his free hand in both of hers and tries to draw him toward the lifts. "Come back to the room with me."

"No." He extricates his hand and places it in his pocket. "I need some time to myself."

She raises her eyebrow at him. The afternoon sunlight glinting off her implant casts a cold, harsh light over his face, and I shudder. "To...meditate?"

He squares his shoulders. "Yes. And to commune with my spirit guide."

"You would prefer to do this rather than spend the time with me."

The muscle at the back of his jaw twitches, but otherwise he doesn't so much as blink in the face of the accusation. "Right now, yes. I would."

"Why?"

"Because it gives me comfort, Seven." He sighs and looks away, and I get the impression that this is the latest skirmish in a very old conflict. "Don't you have anything that gives you comfort?"

Her voice is one I have not heard from her before, small and plaintive. "You do," she says. "You give me comfort."

He rubs his forehead with his fingertips. "I know, and I appreciate that," he says. "I'm honored that you feel that way about me. But Seven, I need to be alone once in a while." He taps his chest with the hide-wrapped bundle. "I need time to find and keep my balance. I know you don't understand that, but can you at least try not to be…insulted when I ask for it?"

She takes another step away from him. "I apologize," she says softly. "Please take care of your needs. I will wait for you in the room."

"Thank you," he says.

She turns away from him and heads toward the lifts. He eyes her retreating back, his head cocked to one side. He cannot see her face, but I can, and it shows more emotion than I have seen from her in all the time I've been watching them.

When the lift doors close and Chakotay heads off toward the beach, I flip to the back of my notebook. My heart hurts as I add a word to Seven's list: bereft.

-End Part 4-