Sorry it took so long. Hopefully you like it!

Disclaimer: I do not know SVU

Chapter 4:

Elliot and Olivia slept for a long time, both desperately holding on to each other. When Elliot finally woke, he looking down and watched Olivia sleep for a while. She looked so peaceful and he had missed her so much. Tears filled his eyes as he realized how much he had missed her, and how sorry he was that he was not able to protect her. Tears streamed down his face and eventually a few dropped on to Olivia's face. Olivia began to stir and Elliot slowly wiped his eyes and her face.

As Olivia awoke she buried her head into Elliot's neck moaning a little bit as she did. "Is this a dream?" she whispered. Elliot smiles and held her tighter. "no" he replied "this is so real Liv."

Olivia smiled into his neck before once again looking into his deep blue eyes that were still a little cloudy from the tears, but very much Elliot's. "Hi" Olivia whispered again.

"hi" Elliot responded, his voice flooded with emotion looking into her big brown eyes. They stared at each other for a long time. Having a conversation with their eyes, like old times, there was no need for words. Olivia told him how much she missed him and needed him. And Elliot told her how sorry he was and how much he missed her. Above all, their eyes told the other how much they loved one another. There was no hiding it anymore. After over a decade of suppressing feelings, and all everything they had been through during their time apart, they could not hide the feelings and emotions anymore.

After while, Elliot knew he owed Olivia more than just a look, he owed her the world. So finally with a shaky voice, full of emotion Elliot broke the silence. "Olivia… I am so so sorry" Tears flooded his eyes again. "I should have never left you. Or when I got out I... I should've been there and I am so sorry. I promise I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I am so sorry Liv. Please forgive me." Tears were streaming down her face and were heavily in his eyes. Olivia held him tighter and Elliot tightened his hold on her as well. Elliot whispered "im sorry" over and over as he held her tight for a while, Olivia crying with him.

When they both finally settled down, Olivia picked her head up and stared into his blue eye. Elliot reached up and swept her hair behind her ears, and continued to stroke her face. "I missed you so much Olivia, I am so sorry" Elliot finally broke the silence.

"I missed you too El" Olivia replied, "I am so happy you are here now, please don't leave me Elliot. I need you" Tears again trickled down her cheeks and she gripped him tighter.

"I am not going anywhere ever again. I will be here for you and I will protect you. I promise you. Please forgive me Olivia, I promise you I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you if you let me. Please let me Liv. Please forgive me." Elliot replied looking straight into her eyes.

Olivia looked into Elliot's eyes and could see the deep pain behind them. His pained eyes mirrored the pain she knew he saw in her eyes. Even after three years apart they could still feel the others pain, their connection ran so deep. She put on a small file and answered him " I can forgive you Elliot, I can, I just need to know what happened to you. Why did you disappear? What did I do to make you not want to see or talk to me? How could you leave?" Her voice was shaky trying to keep her thoughts together and her emotions under control. They had cried enough.

"Liv…" Elliot stuttered. "Baby, you did not do anything wrong. I have so much to tell you Liv, so so much. But I promise you, you did nothing wrong. I never wanted to leave you. Everyday I was away from you I have felt like a piece of soul was missing. I have so much to tell you, so much has happened. But Olivia I swear to you none of this is your fault. It was my fault, I was weak, and I am so sorry I was not strong enough then to stay. But I am now. " He smiled shyly at her, and Olivia lowered her forehead to his so they were connected.

After a few more moments like this. Olivia let out a small laugh and picked up her head. "What?" Elliott responded. "You called me baby" Olivia replied, and again let out something that was a mix between a laugh and a giggle. Elliot's face turned red and he nervously replied "uhh.. Liv.. im sorry I didn't mea.." Olivia didn't let him finish. She put a finger on his lips and smiled at him. "I liked it." she replied and now it was her turn to blush. Elliot smiled brightly at her and at that moment he knew that they were going to be okay, and maybe even better than okay.

"Why don't we get out of here" Elliot suggested. "We have so much to talk about and we probably should do it somewhere other than the crib." Olivia stiffened and Elliot noticed. "Liv don't worry, that son of a bitch is not getting anywhere near you. If he tries anything I will make him suffer unimaginable pain."

"Its not that El" Olivia started rambling. "I know you would never let anything happen to me. I feel safer with you than I do with anyone else. I just don't want to go back to my place, Brian is there, and I don't want to see him, I'm not even sure I want to be with him anymore, I mean I care about him but there isn't a future I don't think.. I don't know El." She was rambling now "And I'm sure Lewis knows where I live. And I really just want to be alone with you, and I don't want to interrupt your family and your family life…. i don't know where to go we should probably stay here…."

"Whoa Whoa Liv slow down. One thing at a time, number one, we do not have to go back to your place, I don't really have any desire the see Cassidy right now, I just want to spend time with you. And you can figure out things with Cassidy when the time comes, there is no rush. Two, Lewis hasn't gone near your place, I have been following since the minute I left the courtroom, and now I have a friend sitting on him and I would have been told if anything had happened. And lastly, we can go to my place and you will not be interrupting anything because Kathy and me split. I am officially divorced and living on my own. There is no one else Liv."

Olivia sat there stunned before she responded "Elliot… I am so so sorry. What happened? Are you okay? What about the kids?" Olivia rattled off question after question, feeling horrible. She knew how much his family meant to him, and how hard he fought to keep them together.

"Liv, its okay. I am completely fine. I will explain everything to you, lets get up and go grab some takeout and head to my place. And I will explain everything." Elliot reassured her. They both slowly moved to get up, arms around one another. Once standing and straightened out, Elliot released his grip on her, and headed to the door. Before he could reach the door, Olivia laced her hand through his, keeping a hold on him. He squeezed her hand and she squeezed back, both smiling at each other and reassuring each other that they were together and they were going to stay together.

Walking out of the crib, and back to the squad room, Elliot froze and took a deep breath, struggling due to the last time he was in this room. He had walked through it briefly to get to Olivia, but he had been so tired and so eager to see her. Cragen had seen him come in and pointed him to the crib, and he was like a zombie and walked straight to the crib. This time it was different. He was well rested and well aware of his surroundings. Olivia felt his change is stature and squeezed his hand tighter to reassure him.

"Let me grab my stuff real quick and let Don know what is going on and then we can go." Olivia assured him. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah" Elliot responded quietly and nodded at her. He was trying to keep calm, and using many of the strategies he had learned, and now taught about battling the memories and symptoms of his panic attacks and PTSD. 'Ella would be proud of him' he thought. "shit" he mumbled under his breath, and quickly picked up his cell to text her.

'Everything good? What's going on?' Elliot texted quickly.

'All good. I am assuming you went to see Olivia. Take your time getting back; make sure you talk to her. I have Lewis' Ella texted back pretty quickly.

' I hope you know how much I love you' Elliot replied

'As much as I love you. Now go get your girl' and with that text Elliot shut his phone and put it back in his pocket waiting for Liv to talk to the captain. A moment later, leaving Elliot with his thoughts for only a short time, Olivia and the captain emerged.

"Elliot" Cragen addressed him as he walked towards his former detective and embraced him like a brother.

"Captain, its good to see you" Elliot replied.

"Elliot its Don, you are no longer under my command. I am glad to see you finally got your head out of your ass and came to see her." Don told him with a stern look. "Or let her see you"

"What?" Olivia looked at Elliot and her captain with questioning eyes.

" When you were missing Elliot looked everywhere for you, he searched from the minute we knew you were missing. I called him. And then when we found you, he sat by your bedside all night while you slept. But he would not let me tell you that he had been there." Don explained.

Olivia looked at him in shock "why?..."

"I didn't want to mess up your life, or make it anymore complicated at the time, I just wanted to see you, but I didn't want to upset you more by being there. And I guess I was also afraid that you would never be able to forgive me. I'm so sorry Liv"

"Elliot, I always wanted you with me. I still do" Olivia looked at him and took his hand again.

"I will leave you guys to continue to catch up. Elliot, I don't think I have to tell you that no harm should come to her when she is with you." Don looked at him expectantly.

"Captain, you know I wouldn't let that happen" Elliot replied sternly.

"Okay then, good night you two" Cragen responded before retreating to his office.

"Ready to go?" Elliot asked Olivia, and she just nodded, still a little shocked with everything that had taken place in the last few hours. And with that they headed back to Elliot's.