Revelations

Edward joined Carlisle and Esme on the couch, while Jacob and Alice took the loveseat. Jasper sat on the floor next to me.

Edward frowned, jealousy written all over his countenance. "You shouldn't be so close to Bella, Jasper," he announced waspishly. "You might lose control again."

I was instantly offended on Jasper's behalf. I'd had a lot of time to contemplate what happened on my birthday and think about what was different between that day and when I was bleeding on the floor of the ballet studio. I'd realized the only real difference was the absence of two vampires. That had made me wonder how the absence of Rose and Esme could possibly affect Jasper's control. The answer hadn't been difficult to find. In fact, it was quite obvious the more I thought about it. I knew why Jasper had the hardest time of all the family, and after fifty years, it wasn't because he was 'new' to the diet, like Edward had claimed.

Carlisle intervened before I could put in my two cents worth. "Now, Edward, you know Jasper has found his control to be infinitely better than it used to be. He hasn't had any difficulty being around all of us, even though most of the family is human now."

"Of course not," I declared. "Carlisle hardly ever feels any bloodlust, so Jasper only has to deal with his own thirst, instead of carrying the weight of everyone else's like he used to do."

All eyes were on me. "What do you mean?" Esme asked, her eyes wide, her hand up around her throat.

"Well, he's an empath, right? So obviously he felt everyone else's bloodlust on top of his own whenever he was around you guys. Since animal blood doesn't really quench the thirst like human blood does, you were always thirsty. That had to be a heavy burden for him to carry. Now that he only has his own and the miniscule amount Carlisle emits, it has to be a piece of cake for him," I explained with a shrug.

"No way!" Edward sneered. "Did he tell you that load of malarkey? He's just trying to push the blame for his slips onto the rest of us, so he doesn't appear weak."

"Jasper?" Carlisle questioned, ignoring Edward. "Is she correct? Have you felt our thirst all these years?"

Jasper appeared thoughtful. He slowly nodded. "Yes, I've always felt the thirst of others. In the wars, it wasn't so bad, because we kept everyone well fed. If someone were starved as a punishment, I made sure I compensated by feeding more often myself. Here it was difficult because, like Bella said, nobody ever felt sated. The thirst was never quenched for myself or anyone else. I tried to feed often enough to overcome it. I never really thought about it though, because it's always been with me. I know when I was traveling by myself, in the years before I met Alice I often went several months in between feedings. The day I met Alice I hadn't fed for over a month, yet I was able to walk into a diner full of people without worrying about hurting any of them or losing control of myself."

"Oh, yeah, that's right," Alice mused. "I knew you hadn't fed for over a month, yet there was no danger. You didn't go in there with the intent to feed, only to get out of the rain. I wonder why it never occurred to me to question why there was such a difference in your control from then to when we joined the Cullens. I guess I just assumed it was because of the animal blood, but that really wouldn't explain it, would it? After all, it takes an incredible amount of control to change people instead of draining them dry, or else everyone would do it, yet you changed thousands to fight in the wars."

Jacob looked over at Jasper, startled and incredulous. His hands started to shake, but luckily Alice distracted him by taking his hand in hers, which immediately calmed him down.

Edward's face fell, remembering the story Alice had often told of how she and Jasper met. "But that would mean your control was better than mine. Better than all of ours, except maybe Carlisle's. I remember how much harder it was for me to hear one of you thinking thirsty thoughts. It made my own so much worse. At least you guys made an effort not to think about it. I can't imagine if I was bombarded by everybody thinking that all the time. I'd probably have lost it a lot more often than you did."

I scoffed, remembering Edward's superior attitude. "You always thought you were so controlled because you could get close to your singer. Yet Jasper had to deal with all of your thirst for me, as well as the rest of the family's, every time I came here. He didn't even lose it the night of my birthday until you threw me into the table full of glass plates, which ripped open my arm. Every single one of you other than Carlisle felt the thirst so strongly you couldn't stay in the room with me. It's no wonder he snapped."

"That's true," Carlisle agreed, sending Jasper a proud smile. Jasper grinned and ducked his head.

"Not to mention, with Jasper's history, he could've gotten to Bella if he really wanted to that night. He let Emmett and Rose pull him out of the room. He didn't hurt them or use his gift on them, which he easily could have," Alice added.

Edward, Carlisle, and Esme all looked at her in realization.

"She's right!" Esme exclaimed. "He could've taken us all out to get to her if he really wanted, but he chose to leave instead. He was much more in control, even then, than anyone gave him credit for - anyone other than Bella that is. I remember she forgave him right away. She understood when the rest of us didn't."

Edward hung his head in shame, pouting. Esme smacked the back of his head, her tone reproachful. "Edward! You caused all the trouble, yet you've been blaming Jasper! You were the one who lost control that night, not him. You shoved her to get her away from yourself, didn't you?"

"Yes," he whispered. "I smelled her blood when she got that paper-cut, and I wanted to taste it so badly. I was afraid I'd hurt her, so I pushed her away, but that only made it worse. Jasper's attempt to attack shocked me out of my own bloodlust haze, propelling me into protection mode. I never realized my bloodlust was what triggered his."

Giving into temptation, I reached over and brushed my hand over Jasper's wheat-colored curls. They were even softer than they looked. He grinned up at me, his golden eyes glinting with happiness. I peeked over at the couch and relaxed when I realized Edward was too absorbed with his own misery to notice our exchange. Carlisle hadn't missed it though, and his brows furrowed with concern. His eyes rapidly swept from Edward over to Alice and back to us again.

"My bond with Edward is completely broken now," I whispered under my breath, not wanting the humans, specifically Edward to hear me, fearing he might try to argue. "It was obliterated as soon as he told me he deliberately destroyed my self-esteem and sent me into a catatonic depression simply to force me to let him go without a fight, merely because he was too afraid to allow me to become a vampire. He wanted marriage, old age, children and grandchildren for me, Carlisle, but none of those are things I ever wanted for myself. He chose to break the bond, to walk away, rather than embracing the love we could have had."

Carlisle slowly nodded, but he looked disturbed. He gazed down at Esme apprehensively and tightened his fingers on her shoulder slightly, pulling her a little bit closer. Jacob was staring at me worriedly, but was distracted by Alice leaning against him, seeking comfort. When he looked up again, I was relieved to see a modicum of understanding in his eyes and was glad Jasper had shared my pain with everyone, however briefly. Esme was murmuring quietly with Edward, their heads close together.

I knew what was bothering Carlisle and decided to address it, still too quietly for the other humans to hear. "You're worried about your bond with Esme, how it was affected by the transformation, aren't you?"

He nodded once, very slightly. Jasper responded, murmuring just barely loud enough for me to hear, his lips hardly even moving. "It's true your bond was endangered once she became human. It was so much smaller on her side than it had been, but it got stronger after she felt your love earlier. Now it's even stronger than Bella's bond used to be. Your side is just as strong as it's always been, but it will weaken if you go through the transformation too. You'll lose the supernatural aspect of it. Rose and Emmett still have a love bond, but it's more like a nylon rope than the steel cable it used to be."

Carlisle must have said something I didn't hear, because I saw Jasper minutely shake his head.

"I can't see bonds but I can feel them. Mates have a special, distinctive love for one another, and I can sense it's depth with my gift. Perhaps a more accurate analogy would be that their love is as deep as a lake, when it used to have the depth of the ocean," Jasper discreetly responded.

Carlisle raised his eyebrows and frowned. Jake was watching the exchange curiously.

"I'm sorry, Jasper," Edward apologized, oblivious to the conversation we'd been having. He then looked at me and smiled. "At least I no longer have to worry about Bella's blood making me thirsty anymore. You're no longer in danger, Bella! Isn't that wonderful?"

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "Are you utterly delusional, Edward, or has humanity destroyed your brain power?"

"Bella!" Esme scolded, shaking her finger at me. "That's mean!"

I rolled my eyes again. "Sorry, Esme. It's just I already told Edward how much DANGER I'm in, and so are all of you, which is why I'm here – to warn you."

Jasper's relaxation disappeared, and he sat up straight. "What is it? What's happened?"

"Victoria was James's mate. She wants revenge on all of us for her loss," I informed them. "Now that most of you are humans, you're sitting ducks, like me. The only reason I'm still alive is the pack. They already killed Laurent when he tried to eat me, and they've been keeping Victoria from getting to Charlie and me."

"We need to run and hide, somewhere she can't find us!" Edward exclaimed, shivering in fear.

I knew it! I mentally paid myself, having won the bet on his first reaction. Fucking coward! . . . Damn, Bella. Bitter much? I sighed, not proud of my thoughts. I knew it was a reaction to the way he deliberately hurt me before he ran away from our future and everything it represented. I hadn't had enough time to process his confession and all the feelings it brought out in me.

Jasper shot me a look, having picked up on my emotions.

"I'm not going anywhere. I have protection here," I calmly replied. "If the rest of you choose to run, you're on your own."

"We need to warn Rose and Emmett!" Esme gasped. "They should go stay with the Denali's!"

"Just so you know, Laurent was working for Victoria before the wolves killed him, so you can expect Victoria to know everything the Denali's knew about you guys – your gifts, your properties, your usual aliases, your allies," I added.

"I told you she was his mate!" Jasper roared, clenching his fists, his black eyes flashing. "I told you we needed to go after her and take her out before she gathered allies and came back against us. You didn't listen! Edward said he didn't hear anything in her thoughts to confirm what I said, and you listened to him instead! Well, obviously he was wrong! Why would you take the word of an inexperienced child over a proven war veteran?! Carlisle, your avoidance of conflict is going to get your whole family killed!"

Wow, angry, confident Jasper is hot! I realized, then blushed at the direction my thoughts had suddenly taken.

Edward looked offended by Jasper's words, but Carlisle was chagrined.

"I'm sorry, Jasper. You're right," Carlisle confessed. He met Jasper's dark gaze. "You're in charge for the time being. We'll do whatever you deem necessary. Just, please, help me protect our family." Jasper nodded once, sharply, in acknowledgment.

"What?!" Edward protested, swinging around to glare at Carlisle over Esme's head. "You can't . . ."

"Shut up, Edward!" I interrupted harshly. "You're a liability now, not an asset, got that? So you don't have any say at all in what happens next. You're human now, weak and easily killed. You can't even read minds anymore. You've got nothing to offer, so keep your trap shut and do what you're told! This is what you wanted, remember? To be a mouse in a world full of cats and snakes. You're not the predator anymore, you're the prey."

Edward's mouth dropped open as he stared at me incredulously, while Esme trembled in fear, realizing my little speech applied to her too. There was nothing she could do to protect herself or any of her children.

"Wow. That was harsh," Alice murmured, looking at me in surprise. "Thank goodness I've got Jacob."

"Speaking of which, I really need to phase and inform the rest of the pack about all of this," Jacob declared, rubbing his face with his hand. "They're not going to believe it. I wouldn't believe it if I wasn't seeing it with my own eyes. This isn't good timing either, what with Harry's death and his children's change. I don't know what they're going to think about the whole 'cure' thing. It kind of turns everything on its head, you know? Especially with me imprinting on a former leech." He stood up and shrugged, then took off outside to phase.

xxxxxxx

What do you think? Too harsh or not harsh enough?