Rifiuto: Non Miriena

Dinner was quiet, and soon the kids were put to bed. Jethro lay out in the hall, guarding his owners' three precious pups, as he always did. The dog raised his head as Tim came back up the stairs after making sure the doors were locked and everything turned off. He chuckled softly as he knelt down and scratched behind the German Shepard's ear. "That's a good boy, Jet." The dog watched the man stand and gently push the closest door open. Ears peeled, he listened as Tim's soft voice drifted out into the hall.

"Get some rest." The boy shifted, turning onto his back. His green eyes opened slowly and he yawned.

"Abba?" Tim chuckled softly. He knew he'd never be able to make it in to check on his children one last time and then get out without them waking up.

"You're supposed to be asleep, sweetheart. You have school tomorrow."

"Did Ima tell you-"

"About the nightmare? Yeah, she did." He perched on the edge of his son's bed, reaching out and gently brushing the dark curls off his forehead. "When did you start having it?" Asher shrugged.

"Since I always remember." Tim nodded.

"And it's always the same?" The boy thought a moment, eyes narrowing in thought.

"For long time it was... then... changed..." Tim chuckled gently as his son's thought process was interrupted by a yawn. "You'll never leave, Abba?" He shook his head.

"No. Never. Wild horses couldn't take me from Ima, or you or your brother and sister." Asher's brow furrowed and Tim waved it away. "It's an expression, sweetheart. But what it means, is that no matter what happens, no matter the situation, I will never, ever leave you. Any of you. I promise. Okay?" The boy nodded, and Tim smiled softly at him. "Good. Now get some sleep." He pressed a soft kiss to Asher's forehead and then got up, slipping silently out of the room before going to check on his two youngest.

She quickly ran the brush through her hair, thinking back on Asher's nightmare. It had been the same one he'd had in Israel, and if she were honest with herself, it scared her. She'd never seen her baby boy so scared. A moment passed before she shook her head. No, he wasn't a baby anymore-

Setting the brush down, she quickly removed her bra and grabbed her tank, pulling it on. As she tugged it down, her fingers grazed her stomach, finding the marks left behind from nine months of carrying her children. Her mother had made sure she understood that the pain she was going through was a promise of the gift Tim had given her before they'd been separated.

"You have been given a beautiful gift, Zivaleh. All that pain you went through, all the hours, this is why. This beautiful baby boy you have just pushed out of your body, is the reason for all that pain. All of it, everything, every ounce of pain was so this little gift he gave you could be born. Never forget that."

She took a deep breath, tugging her tank down and climbing into bed. She'd asked Tim to check on the kids, and so lay with her back to the door, staring out the window at the rainstorm, her thoughts drifting back to Asher's early childhood in Israel. Those eight years had not been easy, but they were nothing compared to the first days after he'd been born- especially the breast feeding. Rivka had taught her, watched over her carefully, and Ziva had always been slow, making sure she didn't mess anything up. But what had unnerved her most was when her mother slipped off to the store, taking Tali with her and leaving Ziva- two weeks after Asher had been born. Of course, Ziva had insisted she go, that she'd be fine, and she was, if not frazzled and terrified.

"Okay. You can do this, it is not that hard." She took a deep breath, cradling the baby on her shoulder as she climbed onto the bed and sat back against the pillows. "Ima only left for a few minutes. You will be fine." She glanced down at her son as she cradled him in her lap, tugging the strap of her tank top down. "We will be fine." She shivered in reflex as the cool air hit her skin and her nipple hardened.

Worrying her bottom lip, she gently cradled her son's head in her hand, like Rivka had taught her. Holding her breast in her other hand, she gently guided her son's mouth to her nipple, but he didn't latch on. Taking a deep breath, she tried again. Four tries later- mainly because she either worked herself into a panic or the baby didn't latch on- she finally managed to guide his mouth onto her breast, and settled back as he began to nurse. "That was... not so hard."

Gently, she reached up, brushing her fingers against her son's head. His dark curls were hers exactly- dark and curly and wild. He was truly beautiful. Eventually, she realized it was time to switch sides, and gently slipped her finger between her son's mouth and her nipple. "Okay. Ima said to... to change sides so... so I do not get sore. Just... just do what I did before."

By the time Rivka and Tali had returned from the store, Ziva was nursing on the other side, gently cradling her son in her arms, watching his beautiful blue eyes as he drank from her breast. "Zivaleh-" She looked up as Tali entered the bedroom, suddenly shy at the sight of her older sister, cradling her son to her breast.

"Come sit by me, Tali." She whispered; slowly the girl did as told, joining her. When Rivka came to check on Ziva, she found Ziva gently explaining what was going on, and left her daughters be.

She lifted her head, turning as the door closed behind her husband. "Is Asher okay?" Tim nodded, sighing.

"Yeah. He's... he's pretty shaken up, but... but he should be okay." He slipped into bed beside her, reaching out and gently brushing his thumb over her cheek. "What are you thinking about?" She met his gaze, and bit her lip.

"Breastfeeding." Tim raised an eyebrow.

"Breastfeeding?" She nodded. "What brought that on?" She shrugged, keeping silent.

"I just... I know what it's like to feel fear. And fear, it never goes away, no matter how many years pass. Do not count Asher's nightmares out yet." Then, she leaned close, pressing a kiss to his lips before turning to face the door saying, "Besides, those first few months, it was your son nursing at my breast. That was not fear like nightmares, that was terrifying."

Tim opened his mouth to speak, but instead, just wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck.