A/N- This is my favourite chapter so far, just 'cos it's nice and angsty-just how I like it lol. I haven't been getting many reviews of late, I was wondering whether the alert thingy is still off for some people?
I've found this chapter is slightly more powerful if you listen to Damien Rice's 'Accidental babies' (hence the title) Hope you enjoy it, and please please review at the end :)
A Public Affair
Chapter 4: Accidental Babies
Well you held me like a lover:
Sweaty hands
And my foot in the appropriate place.
And we use cushions to cover:
Happy glands
In the mild issue of our disgrace.
His hands were on hers, holding, caressing, numbing, as he continued to silently plead with her; blue eyes boring into brown, tears forming, never escaping.
"Lucas please." She tried to pull them back towards her, reclaiming her own limbs as he never once let his gaze travel elsewhere. Holding her eye contact was the only thing he had right now, and as Brooke Davis (his brother's wife, remember?) fought her own feelings, not to mention his, her strength was fading too fast.
"We agreed to tell them. We can explain everything, say that we never meant to hurt them, never meant to feel this way about each other."
"But we are." She stressed. "We're hurting them right now whether we tell them or not."
"Then why not get it over with?"
"Because Haley loves you Lucas!" Brooke's lip trembled with every word, with every formation of her mouth to tell him the woman he was married to loved him, just as much as she did.
"And I love you."
Shaking her head and consuming all of the energy she had within her, Brooke pulled her hands from his, holding them, trembling, against her tiny body. "You're married to Haley, and I'm married to Nathan. We're not married to each other."
"I love you Brooke." He repeated again, the words coming out of his mouth the only ones he could say with hope of the response he wanted.
"This has to end."
They weren't the ones he was hoping for.
"I have a movie to shoot and Nathan has play-offs, so I won't even be here."
"Is that the reason?" Lucas asked, running a hand through his hair. "Is that why you won't do this anymore?"
"No." Her tired voice gave him the answer, and as she opened her eyes after momentarily closing them, perhaps trying to block the situation out, perhaps just because she was so exhausted, Brooke continued. "It's because this whole thing was wrong from the start, and whatever we're doing now, this thing between us, is only making it harder."
"Okay." Lucas whispered defeated. "Okay."
"I'm sorry I let it get this far."
He shook his head, hands reaching for hers once again. Brooke didn't pull back. "Can I kiss you? One last time?"
Her lips answered his question before she'd even had time to process the words, but her body showed her a suddenly-acquired bout of energy, her still-trembling hands fumbling for the belt around Lucas' waist. He lifted her slightly, her legs instinctively wrapping around his torso as she continued to let him assault her lips, and then her ear, and then her neck.
"I love you Brooke. I'm in love with you." He whispered again, softly laying the brunette down on his bed, the same one he shared with Haley. Her brown eyes were closed again, but even that wasn't enough to stop a tear from seeping out, slowly making it's descent down her face as Lucas hovered above her, poised to remove the last piece of clothing separating his naked body from hers.
She answered with nothing but the screaming of his name as she clenched her muscles around him that one last time, sinking her nails into his skin as a pleasure-filled, painful reminder of her presence.
Our minds pressed and guarded:
While our flesh disregarded
The lack of space
For the light-hearted
In the boom that beats our drum.
----
It had been a couple days since she had last seen him. They'd left without a goodbye and without an acknowledgement to what had just occurred between them. He wasn't stupid, he knew that she'd be returning to Nathan, and he'd hold her and she'd kiss him and act like nothing was wrong.
He'd go home and Haley would be waiting, not asking where he'd been because she trusted him enough to know that he couldn't ever hurt her. They'd married straight out of high school, when proposing seemed like the right thing to do. Lucas Scott and Haley James: high school sweethearts, the cheerleader and basketball team captain, the prom king and queen.
Only now, Lucas had realised that he'd proposed to Haley, married her in a small ceremony on a cliff overlooking the beach in their hometown, simply because it was the safe thing to do. He had a trial for the Charlotte Bobcats, and Haley had known him forever. She wasn't going to screw him over, so marrying her…well it was Lucas' safe card.
Sure enough, she had her apron on when he returned home, smiling at him as she asked him how his day had been.
"I'm kinda tired." He replied, leaving his jacket on the coat stand by the door as he made his way through to the kitchen, sitting down at the table where dinner was waiting. He had it all, he really did.
But Lucas wanted something more. He wanted excitement, he wanted to feel passion again, he wanted to feel alive. Brooke did that to him.
"We should talk." Haley told him, sitting down opposite with a mug of coffee in one hand, the other reaching for his.
"Okay…" He was unsure, anxious to see what she had to say.
"I want us to have a baby Lucas."
Well I know I make you cry
And I know sometimes you wanna die
But do you really feel alive
Without me?
She sat on her bed and cried. For what felt like the millionth time that week, her mind was wandering to Lucas, and what their life could have been if she would only tell Nathan the truth.
But being afraid of his reaction, of breaking Haley and Lucas' marriage apart, (although somewhere inside of her, she knew her and Lucas had already done that) Brooke continued to stare into space, wiping at the falling tears every so often. There were too many coming for her to brush them away all the time.
If so: be free.
"Nathan I need to talk to you." It came out so shaky and quiet that even Brooke could hardly hear herself.
"What is it?"
She'd long removed the tears stains now, make-up removal wipes were good enough to rid her face of the black streaks.
Would Lucas want this? Would he hold her and kiss her and tell her everything was going to be okay?
If not: leave him for me.
Clutching her hand tighter around the contents, Brooke pressed her lips together, parted them slightly, and closed them again, before finally answering.
"I'm pregnant."
Shaking his head, Nathan let out a small, malicious laugh. "I'm infertile."
Before one of us has accidental babies.