THE NEW ME
The pain and the burning now seemed to be concentrated into my arms and legs. I tried to walk but my legs hurt to put weight on them. Edward carried me into the shower. He washed my hair, soaped up my body and rinsed me off. Of course this did include a fair amount of kissing and touching and giggling and laughing. He wrapped a towel around himself, then enclosed me in huge fluffy one and carried me out.
Alice and Rosalie had already changed the bed and he set me down on it. He left to dress quickly while Alice and Rosalie took care of me. I received the full body massage again and Edward wrinkled his nose when he returned and saw what they were smearing on me.
"Ugh!" he exclaimed. We all laughed.
The pain and burning continued to be excruciating in my arms and legs throughout the day. Alice, Rosalie and sometimes Esme would massage me periodically.
Now that I was almost changed from being human, Jasper didn't have a problem being around me and so he and Emmett would pop in to see me occasionally and of course have me laughing in spite of the pain. I was so relieved I didn't have to worry about being human in a vampire world. Edward came in and out of our room, not having the need to stay with me constantly to protect me. He did feel the need to come and kiss me a lot and Alice and Rosalie had to constantly shoo him away.
I noticed changes in me. My mind had become sharper along with my hearing and sense of smell. My body was definitely stronger. I pushed Edward away at one point when I felt he was being too playful in front of an audience. He toppled over and lost his balance, landing on the floor. I peered over the edge of the bed worried at what I had done but he was grinning.
"I guess it's time to challenge Emmett to an arm wrestling match," he laughed. Alice and Rosalie had witnessed the whole thing and couldn't stop laughing.
Even though I couldn't walk because of the pain in my legs, I felt like I was better coordinated and my confidence was improving. I hadn't looked into a mirror but I felt more beautiful, this could have been because Edward kept telling me every second he could and it was finally sinking in. I knew he loved me just as well if not more than before and it was apparent he was relieved I wasn't so fragile. My mind felt the same to me, I was still stubborn and I still had a glitch in my brain because Edward still couldn't read my mind. He would become very frustrated when I wouldn't explain what I was thinking and very annoyed if I edited my thoughts. He could read my face very well and knew if I wasn't telling him everything.
I was afraid to leave the house because I didn't know what my reactions were to humans and animals. I hadn't eaten anything the last three days, not feeling hungry but wondering when I would need to feed; as well as what I would want to feed on.
My skin was cold and hard and except for my vampire bite marks, I had no imperfections. I could feel Edward's bite on my neck with my fingers and it made me proud to have received it because I knew it was the hardest thing he had ever done. I didn't regret what he had done for me because I couldn't imagine being old around him. I wasn't soft and cuddly anymore but I had other assets which seemed to override whatever I had lost. I was still eighteen even though my human birthday was close and for that I was very thankful. I would now always be eighteen and yet I would continue to learn many things with my constantly active mind. I couldn't think about my parents or Jacob and the Quilieute because this brought sadness to my thoughts.
Carlisle interrupted my reverie; he came in the room to check on me and listened to my heart with a stethoscope.
"It's much quieter now," he said, "Your heart is still beating but will probably stop during the night, at which point the pain should subside."
Edward had followed him into the room, "I think it's time for some fresh air," he said grinning. He noticed my hesitation but ignored it, insisting I wear a robe over my nightgown. He picked me up and carried me down stairs and outside to a secluded part of the grounds. He sat down on a bench cradling me in his arms and then held my face with one hand so I couldn't turn away.
"You are so brave and so beautiful," he said for what seemed the millionth time. I rolled my eyes and sighed but grinned at him.
"You are my Angel, my hero and I'm so proud to be your wife," I told him and of course he kissed me very lovingly.
"Now tell me why you hesitated when I wanted to bring you here," he admonished.
I sighed, "You're so good," and I kissed him but he didn't allow it to continue as long as I would have liked.
"I know," he said smiling, "so don't try to distract me."
"I'm afraid to leave the house because I don't know how to react to humans or animals. Just now I don't feel hungry or thirsty even though I haven't eaten in three days and I'm afraid I'll soon want blood. At the moment all I want is you."
He rolled his eyes and laughed, "If you only want me, then that's all you're going to get."
"Please be serious, Edward."
"I am serious; no one is going to introduce you to blood until you need it, besides," he said, "you did have an aversion to human blood while you were human and I'm hoping that will still be who you are. Most of what you were as a human intensifies as a vampire and this is one of your interesting qualities. If that's the case and most of us think it will be, you can go to Dartmouth without any problem. Having a natural aversion to human blood will definitely be a plus." He continued to explain as I look perplexed, "It's kind of like some humans can't stand to eat shellfish, so they don't eat it; you can't stand the smell of human blood so you refuse to even try it. None of us can stand the taste of human food, so we don't eat it. In any case you still have a stubborn quality and you refuse to do anything you choose not to do, on the other hand you do things you are determined to do as in capture my heart."
I ignored the desire to kiss him because I had questions, "Will you teach me to hunt?" I asked.
"Of course, probably we'll start you off with something benign as in deer,"
I suddenly felt sorry for the deer.
"You won't leave me alone will you,' I asked nervously.
"Absolutely not, my love, someone will be with you at all times. Don't get stubborn and sneak off like you did with James. Alice will watch you like a hawk, she knows your wily ways," we both laughed
Suddenly, the pain in my legs and my arms intensified again," Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Edward please! Kiss me," I begged.
He kissed me gently but I needed him to be more urgent.
"Please be passionate with me, I need to fight this pain."
He traced his tongue on my lips and down my throat, his hands unfastening my robe and my gown and then his touch on my body caused me to shiver. The burning and the pain became even more intense.
"Please help me Edward or I'll scream," I started to become agitated. He laid me down on the grass and stimulated me so that my passion awoke and I longed for him to make love to me.
"Please, Edward, please make it happen,"
When he made love to me, I cried out with pleasure, "Please don't stop," I begged. The extreme pain and burning soaked me with perspiration and my passion increased. I arched my back, raising myself to him. He continued to kiss me intensely as the pain subsided, then we both lay together for a while, he on top of me.
"Thank you Edward, that helped more than you know."
I held his face in my hands and we kissed, "I can't believe how much I love you," I said breathlessly.
"I can believe how much I love you," he said kissing me again, and again.
Too soon he rolled over to dress himself and fastened my clothes. I tried to pull myself up but my arms and legs were still extremely sore and so he picked me up while I put my arm around his shoulder and we sat on the bench again.
"I'm sorry I'm so passionate, I need you so much just now," I smiled at him, shyly.
"I'm not at all sorry, I can take it," He laughed loudly, "if it gets too much for me, I'll be sure to let you know, but I can't see that happening in the near future."
"You are so silly, you probably think I'm a loose woman," I laughed.
"No, you're the silly one. I have waited many years for you to come along and stir up my passions. It is very pleasant to make love to you and have you respond to me so passionately."
I frowned, "The problem is I don't ever want to stop, Alice said I would eventually be able to prioritize and be a useful person again. I can't seem to stop wanting you every second of every day and night. I even want you again now," I was embarrassed to add. "I'm so bad," I pouted.
Edward laughed, "You're such a silly girl, making love to me every second of every day and night isn't a bad thing, it isn't always possible but I am very flattered."
"I realize that, but my problem is, I want to prioritize. I need something else to occupy my mind besides you." I touched his nose with my finger.
"Well school is definitely going to occupy your mind and then you'll say, Edward leave me alone, I'm too busy."
"I'll never be too busy for you." I kissed his nose.
"I'm definitely flattered… flatterer," he touched my cheek longingly, "well tomorrow Alice will be organizing your life and that will give you something to think about, I'm sure. In the mean time, I'm all yours until sunrise my love but I think we will be more comfortable on the bed."
"Please hurry," I said urgently, "I think my pain is coming back."
Edward had me back in our room before I could blink my eyes.
"How did you do that so fast," I wondered.
"Do you want to make love or talk?" he asked.
"You know what; help me get my clothes off, please."
The rest of the night I was absolutely in heaven and the pain became less and less.
Carlisle came in the morning to check on me.
"I can't hear a heart beat, has your pain gone yet?" he wanted to know.
"Almost," I replied, hopefully.
"Can you walk today?" he questioned.
"The pain is less intense but walking is still a little painful." I told him.
"Your eyes are a dark red now, have you had any urge to want to drink?"
"No," I said, "should I?"
"Not necessarily," he said, "I know from experience it is possible to go for months without feeding but it can make you very weak."
"Edward seems to be keeping my mind off food, I only want him. Do you think my passions are way too strong? Is that possible?"
"It is possible for your emotions to intensify and I'm sure that is exactly what has happened to you. According to Edward, you were very emotional before and that has obviously increased. There are worse things to intensify than that, so I wouldn't worry. You seem pretty stable otherwise."
"Will my passion settle down or decrease?" I asked.
"Absolutely not, you are what you have become. You will however learn control. Edward had great power of control where you were concerned and you will be wise to learn from him. It is much easier for him now that you are no longer human."
"I would like to think I can control myself in every way, especially the feeding problem."
"We will make sure you comply with that rule." Carlisle smiled. "The wolves will be watching for any slip, we don't want to fight them and I don't think they want to fight us either."
"Do they know I have changed?" I asked.
Jasper and I made them aware of our intentions based on what you desired to do. We explained the need for you to be with Edward and not grow old while he stays the same and because it was your desire, they made an exception to the treaty. We promised we would abide by the treaty in every other way and that you would abide by our rules. For you to behave in any other way is unacceptable."
"It would not be acceptable to me, for me to break your rules. I am determined to be good, your family has been good to me and I love you all very much."
"One of your traits you have brought to your change is your determination to make a decision and stick to it. With that in mind, I think you will do well."
Carlisle gave me a hug and I him, I was determined to make him proud of me.
Edward came in at that moment, "Bella, I have news I think you will appreciate."
"Oh?" I said wondering.
"Jacob imprinted, he met his soul mate. I spoke to Seth, everyone is relieved and Jacob is coming home with his girl."
I heaved a sigh, "I am happy for him, I hope I won't be jealous."
"I'm sure you'll find out when you meet her," Edward said, smiling.
"Do you think he'll let his girl anywhere near a female vampire?" I wondered
"I'm sure he'll trust you Bella, by the way you haven't changed your appearance much, other than you are more beautiful. Don't you agree, Carlisle?"
Carlisle smiled, "Absolutely," he agreed, by the way Edward, our patient still has some leg pain so you might want to carry her around again today. Otherwise I find her to be perfect." He winked at me and left.
Alice came bustling in, "Rosalie and I are going to work on you in my room today, we are going to transform you into a Cullen, Esme will fix your room and I put a seat in my shower so you don't have to stand." I grimaced at Edward.
"Aren't you going to protect me from these mean vampires, Edward?"
"Not on your life, they might bite me," he said as Alice growled and curled back her lips. He pretended to look scared and left the room.
"He obviously doesn't care about me," I pouted.
"Would you prefer us to throw you to the wolves, then Bella?"
"I sighed, "Ok, ok, I'm your prisoner, Alice, I promise to be good."
She picked me up and carried me to her room.
I kissed her, "Thank you for taking care of me, Alice, I love you."
"It's about time you appreciated me, you newborn, you," and she laughed
"Rose," she said as she entered her room, "Our invalid still is not able to walk, so she can't escape."
Rosalie laughed, "The shower is ready, madam,"
Alice put me in there and I stayed in as long as I dared. Too soon Alice came to get me with a big fluffy towel. I helped her dry me off and then she carried me to a massage table. Both she and Rosalie worked on me, prior to fixing my hair and dressing me.
Then they said, "Walla, Mrs. Cullen."
I was afraid to look at myself, just in case I didn't look the way the Cullen's should look and I hesitated with my eyes closed.
"Bella, look at yourself," she coaxed, "you will like what you see, I promise," Rosalie said smiling.
I opened my eyes and looked in the mirror. I gasped then, who was that elegant vision I could see, looking at me? "Is that me? Is that really me?" There was a beautiful girl looking at me, wearing elegant clothes and looking every bit a Cullen as Rosalie and Alice. I looked slender in one of my new pant suits, I was the same height as before and my hair looked shiny and thick and lush, hanging straight to my waist with no adornment. My shoes matched my outfit perfectly; they were high heeled to give me more height. My face was... beautiful, I gasped again, it was pale, paler than before but my features were perfect with no flaws. I needed very little makeup. My lips were full and red and my eyes which were brown because of the contacts were a perfect shape. I almost wept but my emotions were apparent.
My sisters had helped me stand and I winced but was able to turn around to see the back of me. I sat down stunned.
"I am beautiful, just like the two of you and Esme," I acknowledged.
"You were always beautiful but now you're a Cullen."
I couldn't tear myself away from the mirror, not believing the apparition in front of me. My sisters both laughed.
"Who do you love best, yourself or Edward?" Rosalie asked.
"I, myself of course," and we all laughed.
Edward came in the room, not surprised at what he saw, "That outfit looks good on you and the contacts match your eyes from before." He bent down and kissed me, "I told you, you were beautiful and you didn't believe me."
I threw my arms around his neck and he pulled me up, lifting me off the floor and swinging me around as I kissed him. My legs wound around his waist and he held me tight.
"I suppose it's my turn to capture my beautiful wife, not that I have any choice in the matter, I believe she captured me." I giggled and they all laughed.