Not Much Between Despair And Ecstasy Ch. 4 Just Holding Onto Ties

Author's note: standard disclaimers apply; I don't own DBZ, the Mirai timeline, etc. I'm just borrowing them. All I do own is Zandre and every twist and turn I'd made. Anyway, on to the story…

'Gohan help me!'

The whisper in his head was enough to distract him, letting Trunks get him to the ground. A worried look crossed his face as he hopped up.

"What's wrong Gohan?" Trunks asked.

Gohan turned to the boy that was somewhere between a son and a brother to him and said, "I don't know. Stay here and train, I'm gonna check this out."

"Is it...?" Trunks asked, concerned.

"No Trunks. I don't know what it is," he replied, turning and taking off to the north.

"Be safe Gohan," Trunks mumbled before going back to his training.

He landed on her cliff, a place he'd hardly visited for months. Her yells and sinister laughter from the house pulled him to the door in a split second. "Gohan!!!" she screamed from wherever she was.

"Shut up bitch!!! And stop fighting me!!!" Gohan heard someone say, then the sound of a fist hitting her head.

It fueled his anger, before he realized it; he was fighting seven men all at once. Gohan quickly knocked them out, throwing each out the door, over the cliff as far as he could. He moved through the house, going to the two ki's he sensed, one amazingly powerful, almost as high as his. 'Good, at least this one might be a challenge,' he thought as he found them in the bathroom. The attacker was standing over her limp form, trying to remove her blue jeans.

"Don't you DARE touch her!!!" Gohan growled through clenched teeth. Her attacker stood, just as tall and broad as Gohan, "What are you gonna do pretty boy, if I do?"

"This," Gohan screamed in rage, his hair going blonde as he charged, pushing the man through the wall, outside. They passed through a few trees before stopping at a giant rock. Gohan grabbed his shirt front, pulling him close and said, "If you EVER think of doing this again, we'll go through the mountain. Got that."

The thug nodded.

"Good," Gohan replied, punching him out and throwing him farther than his friends. Gohan was suddenly in the bathroom, kneeling at her side, checking her over. The green glow of her healing slowly encompassed her head. 'It must work on her when she's asleep.' Gohan thought as he picked her up, carrying her to her bed. He laid her out, covering her up when he realized it. 'That major ki is hers?!? But why would she hide it from me?'  He thought, pushing Zandre's presence down, trying to focus on the situation when another ki popped up.

"What now?" Gohan asked aloud, moving through the mess her house was in, trying to find the source. He found it nestled behind the dryer and water heater.

She could feel herself being forced awake, some strange feeling telling her something was off. Zandre opened her eyes to find herself in bed, all her clothes intact. 'Thank Kami!' She turned to find Gohan sitting on the edge of the bed facing the wall. The feeling suddenly became clear.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, his voice low.

"Because I sensed all the pressure and weights in your life and I didn't want to add to it. I'd been taught to hide it, flying, and a little self-defense. Papa thought I needed to learn to control it early. He promised me before they left that he'd teach me how to fight when they came back. I wasn't there when they finally did," she stopped, wiping a few tears away, rolling onto her left.

"When were you going to?" he asked, turning to her, his left hand resting on her knees.

"When you were done training Trunks. When we were going to figure out our relationship, I knew I couldn't hide it much longer. That, and I can't lie to you anymore, you deserve the truth Gohan," she replied, placing her hand next to his.

"What about this? Is it what I think it is?" he asked, nodding toward the floor. Zandre slowly propped herself up on her elbow, peeking over the edge then falling onto the bed.

She didn't look at him as she replied, "He didn't want you to know, not until little brother is old enough to start training. Piccolo tried to make him a healer and a fighter. He wasn't sure if it worked. I found him right as he spit him out. When Piccolo found out I'm a healer, he filled my head with what has to be done for the egg and told me to take it and go. When you approached, he told me not to tell you. After you brought me home and I was trying to figure out what to do with him, I suddenly realized he'd also given his reason why I had to hide him and what I was to do when he hatched."

She slowly sat up, steadying herself on his shoulder before reaching over the edge for the egg. Gohan stopped her, forcing her back and got the egg for her. Zandre sat him in her lap, her arms curling around him as she continued, "He knew of the weights being put on your shoulders as he died Gohan. Piccolo knew he made a healer that he tried to give a fighter's abilities. As I said, he wasn't sure it worked. Piccolo knew I could teach him how to use and control his abilities. I was going to tell you when he hatched, then I can tell if he's both. You're to start his training when he's four."

"Gohan, I realize this has got to be hard, but you've got to understand he did it this way because he cares. He knew how serious you'd take the responsibility and he didn't want to burden you with one more," she stopped, stroking the egg and turning to Gohan.

He just sat there staring into the basket she kept little brother in. He slowly bent over, pulling the heavy, course, mended white fabric out, fingering the stitches, "It's..." he couldn't say it all, the tears welling up.

"Yes, I took it and the egg and shoved it in my basket. He needs something of his true father's. I mended it that night, in case he'd ever want to wear it," she paused, pulling a long wide strip out of her pocket, placing it in his hand, "I thought you might need it too."

Gohan sat staring at it, his hand slowly curling tight, "I still remember..." his voice cracked, thick with emotion.

Zandre smiled, tears welling up in her eyes. She slowly laid down, curling on her left, her arms still around the egg, "I'm not quite healed yet, so little brother and I are gonna take a nap," she said, yawning.

"I noticed your healing works on you when you sleep," Gohan replied without thinking, "Why do you call him little brother?"

"It just made more sense. There's no way I could be his mother. I thought it would be a lot easier to explain as he got older too," she replied, slowly closing her eyes, "It fits better for you than me anyway," she mumbled as she fell asleep.

He had to admit they were right. He had the fate of the world resting on his shoulders. He didn't want to bring Trunks into it, but since the last fight, he knew he couldn't do it himself. But he was also running the risk of putting that burden of Trunks.

That was the real reason he didn't want to develop the feelings he was trying so hard to crush. He didn't want to put her through that pain, he could barely stand the fact he was going to put his mother through it some day. Gohan sighed, pushing it back and got up to clean some of the mess. He looked down, realizing he still held both parts of the cape in his hands. He tied the strip around his waist, and then slowly covered little brother with the cape. 'I hope I can make you proud.'

Gohan was in the bathroom, almost finished fixing the wall, when he sensed Zandre walking by. He left his work behind and asked, "What are you doing up?"

"My stomach won't let me sleep," Zandre replied, glancing in the living room before going to her apothecary/dining room, "You didn't have to clean up," she added, a little wobbly on her feet.

"You should still be in bed. Besides, I kinda put a hole in the bathroom wall so I thought I might as well clean everything up. I couldn't do much in here though," he replied, sitting her at the table covered with leaves, roots, and flowers of every kind.

"I knew this was bad," she replied, reaching for some leaves, instead grabbing the table, "Maybe you're right, but I'm starved," her stomach rumbled in agreement.

Gohan turned away, looking at the clock, and then out the window, "It is past supper time. Why don't you go back to bed and I'll make something quick for us."

Zandre hung her head, taking a few deep breaths, "No, I'll be okay in a minute. I want to get started on this anyway," she said, leaning on her right as she started forming separate piles all across the table. Gohan nodded and went into the kitchen, preparing supper and occasionally glancing over the counter to find her still sitting there, sorting the mess. They ate slowly and quietly finished off the food. As he slowly stacked the dishes, Gohan asked, "So what happened Zandre?"

She just stared at the table, "I was out all night, a major farming accident and a baby to deliver. When I got back I knew there was trouble before I got in the door," she stopped as he went into the kitchen.

Gohan set the dishes in the sink and came back, kneeling on her right, "What was it?"

"I walked in to find a bunch of bandits sitting in the living room, one had a bullet wound to the shoulder. I was in no mood to argue, so I told him to follow me in here. He must have been the leader because they all came. I forced him to sit down and one of them almost slapped me. I healed his shoulder and told them to leave, but they had other ideas. I should have seen it coming Gohan. They circled me, pawing me, hitting and kicking me if I hit their hand away. The leader said something about using a gal like me in their camp. I panicked and hit him as hard as I could and suddenly all the others were on me. The leader came back, stopped them and told them to raid the place, that he was gonna teach me a lesson. I scrambled out, thinking I needed your help and he cornered me in the bathroom. I must have messed up his arm again cause he couldn't keep hold of me. Then I realized you were..." she paused, trying to hold in the tears.

Gohan gently placed his hand on her knee, a little reluctant as she flinched, but she placed hers over it. "He'd be so upset with me Gohan, that I let it happen, let them through, let him almost..." Zandre said the tears breaking free.

"No. No Zandre, he wouldn't, especially if Tien knew you and how your healing works. He'd understand, I know I do. It's not your fault," he said, turning her to him, "And remember it was almost."

She nodded slowly and curled up against him as Gohan wrapped his arms around her. They stayed that way for hours, until he realized she'd stopped crying and her healing glow slowly covered her back. He gently picked her up, carrying her back to her bed. Gohan knelt on the edge, placing her on her left side, putting little brother in her lap, pooling the cape around him.

Gohan sat on the floor, folding his arms on the edge of the bed, next to little brother. As the last tear rolled down her cheek, he reached out with his right hand, drying her tears. "I'm sorry this had to happen to you," he whispered, absently stroking her hair. A slight smile on her face made him relax, pulling his hand away, placing his left on top of the egg, "Sleep well little brother."

 She was being pulled awake; realizing she was in her own bed again, little brother in her lap, with Gohan sitting on the floor asleep, his head pillowed on his arm, his hand covering hers on top of little brother. Zandre reached out with her left, tousling his hair and whispered, "So now you get to take care of me," she paused, wiping away a single tear from his cheek, "If it's not my fault it's not yours either," she replied, her hand going through his hair again.

She didn't notice another tear fall as she went back into her healing sleep.

Zandre woke that morning to find Gohan gone, his blue shirt covering little brother.

'I was beginning to wonder if you'd ever wake up.' His mind voice said jokingly.

'Why..?' she replied, confused.

'I thought he should have something of his brother's too,' he replied somewhat solemnly, quickly shaking it, 'I finished the bathroom and cleaned up the kitchen before I left also.'

'You didn't...' she started.

'I know, but I wanted to.'

There was an awkward pause in the mental conversation, both knowing what had happened only complicated matters.

'Trunks is waiting.'

'You know where I'm at if you ever...'

'I know and I will.'