"I thought you said this would never go to court?" Roy asked, Captain Johnson, before he even managed to sit down in the chair across from him.
"Roy, have you heard anything about the protests that have been taking place at VA hospitals in several areas across the country?"
Roy shook his head.
"The Society for the Right to Die has been protesting in front of VA hospitals across the country. Their message has been the military will send their soldiers to die for the cause, but won't allow them to die with dignity when the injuries they sustain in battle are robbing them of any quality of life. They've got these disgusting slogans "Better hope you die for your Country, because if you live, they make you suffer." Or my favorite, "The US military values your life, as long as you're suffering". It's been going on for a couple of months."
"What does that have to do with me?" Roy asked.
"The military has to make a statement about assisted suicide, about suicide in general."
"What statement do they want to make?"
"That the United States military does not in any way condone soldiers committing suicide, or assisting other soldiers in committing suicide."
"So they're looking to prosecute me to make me an example."
"I'm not going to let that happen," Captain Johnson said.
"How do you intend to stop them?" Roy asked.
"I don't know…yet."
Roy felt a sense of dread sweep over his body. "If they want to make an example out of me, you won't be able to stop them," Roy said quietly.
E
"Why did Roy ask me to leave the room?"
Johnny looked over at Joanne. He'd been staring at the same page of a magazine for the last 20 minutes.
"When Captain Johnson first came to our house and told Roy about the accusations, he asked for Roy's side of the story. Roy asked me to go upstairs."
"He probably didn't want to upset you."
"Because he killed him?"
"What?" Johnny looked over at Joanne, complete shock on his face.
"Roy hates to see anyone suffer. I heard the details Dennis Kramer provided about his brother's death. It sounds like the guy was in agony. Roy never talks about the war, any of it. I know he saw some really horrible things. We talked quite a bit about suicide when Ashley tried to kill herself. Roy empathized with how she could see that as her only way out. He never said he agreed with suicide, but he wasn't adamantly against it as being a horrible thing to do. Could Roy have helped him die?" Joanne asked, turning to meet Johnny's eyes.
Johnny was spared from having to answer by the door opening and Roy entering the room.
"Roy!" Joanne stood up and wrapped her arms around her husband.
"I'm okay," Roy reassured her.
Captain Johnson walked out behind him.
"Is he free to go?" Johnny asked.
"Yes, Roy isn't being held, he's free to go home and back to work until the trial," Captain Johnson explained.
"And when will that be?" Joanne asked, wondering how long this was going to hang over their heads.
"The Judge Advocate General office wants this case heard as soon as possible. My guess is we will be in court in 2-3 months."
"2 or 3 months?" Johnny looked shocked.
"How can we live with this hanging over our heads for that long?" Joanne asked, the idea of living every day worrying that Roy was going to be sent to jail overwhelming.
"It'll go a lot faster than you think," Captain Johnson warned. "We need to develop our defense strategy, and then figure out how to present it in a way that wins the case."
"You can do that right?" Johnny asked, looking between Roy and Captain Johnson.
"Of course we will," Captain Johnson said, but not with the certainty that Roy, Joanne and Johnny all needed to hear.
E
"Thank God," Roy said quietly, as they pulled up to his house.
"What?" Johnny asked, immediately feeling himself tense up and start looking around for trouble.
"I'm just glad all the guys aren't here waiting for me," Roy said, seeing that Ashley's car was the only one at his house.
Johnny briefly wondered why the guys weren't here. Ashley was supposed to call them.
They entered the house and were immediately pounced on by Jenny and Chris. "Dad!"
"Hey, guys, what are you still doing up?" Roy asked, looking at the clock, it was just past 8:30 PM, well past their bedtime.
"We didn't want to go to bed until we knew you were home," Chris pouted.
"Aunt Ashley helped us make you a cake, she said we could have a piece with you when you got home," Jenny added.
"You are home now, right, Dad?" Chris looked worried.
"Yeah, son, I'm home now," Roy said, kneeling down and opening his arms, so he could hug both his kids.
"Why don't Johnny and I go cut the cake and pour glasses of milk. You guys go out on the deck and we'll bring it out to you," Ashley suggested.
The DeSoto's moved outside and Ashley moved over and took plates out of the cupboard.
"Why didn't you call the guys?" Johnny asked, his tone a bit angry.
Ashley looked a little hurt at his accusation that she hadn't called the guys like he asked. "I did. Of course, they all wanted to come over, but I didn't know how long it would be and I honestly didn't think Roy would want everyone here when he got home. We're all going over to Captain Stanley's tomorrow night so we can brainstorm what to do."
"Sorry," Johnny said, leaning over and kissing Ashley on the cheek. He remembered they hadn't gotten to talk about the issue with the dog and her disobeying Kyle, but he honestly didn't have the energy to even think about having that conversation tonight.
"It's okay," Ashley gave him a smile, she knew this had to be incredibly stressful for Johnny too. Roy was like his brother and she knew that Johnny would personally suffer during this process too. "Can you grab me the tray off the top of the fridge. We can put the milk and cake on it."
"So what's the next move?" Johnny asked, after Chris and Jennifer had gone to bed.
Roy shrugged. He felt way too tired to think about it tonight.
"I think we should talk to Dixie," Johnny suggested.
"Why Dixie?" Joanne asked.
"She served in Korea, maybe she'll know of another situation similar to this and how it was handled," Johnny said.
"And Dr. Brackett, he's gonna have the most information about the AMA's stance on assisted suicide," Ashley said.
"AMA?" Joanne looked over at her.
"American Medical Association," Roy explained. "Guys, I really appreciate all your ideas and you being here; but the simple truth, if the U.S. Military wants to make an example out of me against suicide or assisted suicide, there isn't anything anyone can say or do to save me."
Roy stood up and walked inside, slowly trudging up the stairs to his bedroom.
Ashley, Johnny and Joanne just looked at each other.
"Today's just been a lot," Johnny said. "He'll be better tomorrow and we can formulate a plan."
Joanne stood up, her attention on the house.
"Go ahead, Joanne," Ashley said, standing up. "Johnny and I will clean this up and let ourselves out."
Johnny and Ashley quickly washed the plates and glasses, dried them and put them away. Johnny flipped the lock as they let themselves out. He turned and Ashley stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him, resting her cheek against his chest.
Johnny wrapped his arms around her and rested his cheek against the top of her head. They stood there for several minutes. "Come home with me, Ashley," Johnny whispered, his voice almost inaudible. "I don't wanna sleep alone tonight."
Ashley looked up at him, her uncertainty must have been visible in her eyes because he quickly added, "I just want to hold you."
Ashley nodded and let Johnny take her by the hand and lead her to her car. He opened her door and let her get in. "I'll follow you," Ashley assured him.
Johnny nodded. He closed her door and walked to his Rover.
E
Joanne walked into the bedroom and reached for the light switch. She hesitated just momentarily, looking at her husband laying in the bed they'd shared for almost a decade now. He was laying on his side, his back to her. Joanne knew that meant he didn't want to talk, his thoughts too dark to share. She'd seem him assume this sleeping position after many shifts over the years. While he never gave her details of the bad runs, they had at least learned their own way of communicating when life threw too much at them.
Joanne switched off the light and walked to the bed. She slid off her slippers and climbed under the covers. She reached over and tugged at Roy's arm, breaking the normal pattern of allowing him his space to process the dark thoughts. He turned, surprised at her touch. She kept tugging until he had turned over and was facing her. Joanne slid closer and wrapped her arms around Roy, pressing her body tightly against his.
"I love you, my husband," she whispered, tucking her head into the crevice between his neck and shoulder.
Roy wrapped his arms around her, kissing her forehead. "I love you, my wife."
Roy forced himself to lay like that until Joanne was deeply asleep. He carefully maneuvered her back to her side of the bed, and extricated himself from her arms. Roy slipped out of bed and quietly padded down the stairs. He opened the fridge and pulled out a can of beer. He opened the sliding glass door and stepped out onto the deck. The sky was dark and he briefly wished he was at one of the many isolated camping spots he frequently visited with Johnny, so he could actually see stars.
Roy tried to imagine life at the end of this nightmare, but he just couldn't. Every time he tried to imagine this being over, it ended with him sitting in prison. Roy drained the can of beer and turned to look at the house, his gaze on the upstairs windows. What would his family do, if he got put in jail and wasn't there to take care of them? Joanne was smart and capable, but she'd never worked outside of the home. And what would happen to Chris and Jennifer? A boy needs his dad, Roy thought. And he wanted to be around to intimidate the boys that would eventually be lining up to date his pretty little girl.
Roy crushed the can in his hand, surprising himself by the movement. How on earth was he going to survive 3 months of this uncertainty? Roy wished they were on shift tomorrow, at least on shift he could concentrate on his work and not worry about his future.
E
"Have a seat," Dr. Brackett waved Ashley and Johnny to the chairs in front of his desk.
"So, you've heard?" Johnny asked, taking in the tense look on Dr. Brackett's face.
"Unfortunately, I have," Dr. Brackett said, sitting down behind his desk and looking at Johnny and Ashley.
"We were thinking that maybe you could meet with Captain Johnson and help give him some ideas for Roy's defense," Johnny said hopefully.
Dr. Brackett sighed deeply. "I'm afraid I have a much more imminent case I need to win first, Johnny."
"What do you mean?"
"The Paramedic Board is meeting next week to discuss whether or not to place Roy on administrative leave until this case is settled. I was just about to call Roy, until they meet next week, he can't operate as a paramedic."
"What!" Johnny leaped to his feet. "You can't do that!"
"Johnny, sit down," Dr. Brackett said.
"No! You know Roy is an exceptional paramedic, he gives his all to his patients. How can you even think of removing him from the program?"
"Johnny, I don't want that to happen. Trust me, I'll be going to bat for Roy. But there are concerns about how this impacts the program. We've come too far to let bad publicity from this situation negatively impact the paramedic program."
"So Roy gets thrown to the wolves," Johnny said, running a hand through his hair.
"I'll do everything I can for him, Johnny. You know I think the world of Roy, as more than just a great paramedic, but as a person of integrity. He's not just someone I work with, he's a friend."
"Then act like it!"
"Johnny," Ashley finally spoke up.
Johnny sat back down and dropped his head into his hands. "Sorry," he mumbled.
"I know how hard this is for you, Johnny. And you have my word, I'll do everything I can to help Roy."
"When are you going to tell him?" Ashley asked.
"I'm gonna call him as soon as we finish our conversation," Dr. Brackett said.
Ashley rubbed her forehead, feeling a headache starting.
"We'd better pass the word to the guys before our get together tonight," Ashley whispered to Johnny.
He simply nodded. He didn't think things could get any worse.
E
Roy turned off the engine, but didn't move to get out of the car. Joanne just looked at him.
"Roy?"
"I don't wanna go in there," Roy said, quietly looking at Captain Stanley's house. He knew all the guys were already here, judging by the cars parked in the driveway and street.
"They're your friends, your crewmates," Joanne said, touching his arm.
"Not anymore."
"Roy, it's temporary. You've always told me Dr. Brackett is tenacious. He'll get you reinstated," Joanne tried to be encouraging and hoped her own fear didn't resonate in her voice.
Roy ran his hands over his face. He hated being like this, but he just couldn't see a silver lining and he couldn't imagine this ending well for him and his family. "I just don't have it in me to go in there and pretend that I think everything is gonna be okay."
"They don't want you to be fake, Roy. They want to support you, exactly where you are."
Roy let out a sigh. "Let's just get this over with."
They walked up the walk side by side. Joanne lifted her hand to knock, but Johnny opened the door before her hand made contact with the wood.
"Hey, guys, glad you made it," He opened the door and stepped back, so they could enter the house.
Roy walked in and the other guys quickly filed into the room, moving to shake his hand and slap him on the back. Joanne quickly found herself embraced by Beth Stanley. The men led Roy outside to a game of horseshoes, while the ladies pulled Joanne into the kitchen.
"How are you holding up?" Beth asked her.
Joanne looked around the room. Tina and Ashley were sitting at the table chopping various vegetables for a salad. Marisol was making iced tea and Mary was finishing up the potato salad with the help of Lizzie. She wasn't sure how open she wanted to be. She knew all of these women, but was only really close to Beth. She was getting to know Ashley quite a bit better because of her relationship with Johnny, but they still weren't what Joanne would consider to be friends, at least not close ones. Tina had been dating Mike for quite some time, so they had spent some time together and she really liked Tina's level-headed nature. But, she had only spent a few hours total with Marisol and Mary and Lizzie was just a child.
"I'm okay," Joanne said.
"We can step out," Marisol said, picking up on Joanne's hesitation.
"Absolutely," Mary said, grabbing a towel to wipe off her hands.
Joanne shook her head. "No, no, that's not necessary. You're all important to the men that are most important to Roy."
Joanne looked out into the yard, she watched briefly as Roy threw a horseshoe.
"It's tough," she said, her voice rough with emotion. "Dr. Brackett called Roy today and told him he's suspended until the committee meets to discuss his case. There's a chance he won't be able to work until this case is settled."
Joanne looked around, none of the women looked shocked. "You heard."
"Johnny and I let the guys know after we left Dr. Brackett's office. We didn't want Roy to have to tell them," Ashley explained.
"Roy's just so upset. He was looking forward to going to work to get his mind off all this, and now he can't even work."
"Maybe I'm missing something obvious, but why won't they let him work?" Mary asked.
"Appearances," Marisol said. "If Roy is convicted of murdering this man, the publicity for the Los Angeles County Paramedic program and Fire Service would be terrible."
"So it has nothing to do with their believing he's actually guilty, or not competent to do his job, but completely based on publicity," Mary said, shaking her head.
"Exactly," Ashley said.
"What do you think is gonna happen at the Committee meeting?" Tina asked Ashley.
Ashley looked at Joanne when she answered. "I don't know. I've actually not gone before the Committee yet; they'll review my performance in a couple of months. But, I do know that Dr. Brackett is completely on Roy's side and I do trust him."
Joanne looked at Beth. "What happens if they convict him? What happens to the kids and I?" A tear silently slid down Joanne's cheek.
All the women got up from where they sat and circled around Joanne in a big group hug.
"We won't let that happen," Ashley said, needing to believe her own words.
Marisol met Ashley's eyes and frowned. She wasn't so sure this was going to turn out so well. She'd done some asking around when Marco had called her and told her about the situation. She worked with several former military people. None of them had been very optimistic.
E
"I made an appointment with Barney Olsen for the day after our next shift," Johnny said.
"No," Roy said.
"Whatdya mean no?"
"Captain Johnson is my defense attorney," Roy said.
"I asked Barney, he said you can have a civilian lawyer too."
"It's a waste of money."
"Roy."
"Johnny, stop! All of you, just stop!" Roy tossed the horseshoe down. "Look," Roy ran a hand through his hair. "I appreciate everything you guys are trying to do. I just…look, it's unlikely this is gonna turn out well for me; you guys should keep your distance."
His statement was met with a round of "no ways" and "not a chance" from all the guys.
"We'll figure something out, Roy. You can't give up," Captain Stanley said.
"We're all behind you, Roy. We'll do whatever it takes to help you," Mike said.
Chet looked over at Roy, "Did you do it?"
"Chet!" Johnny turned to glare at him.
"What? I'm sorry, but here we're all saying we're behind him and will help him, but what are we helping? Are we trying to find a way to convince these people Roy would never give someone too much pain medication to put them out of their misery? Or are we trying to convince them that overdosing him was the right thing to do?"
"Roy would not give someone too much pain medicine in order to end their life," Marco said.
"Why not? If there was no chance the guy's gonna live, what's wrong with helping end his suffering," Chet said.
"It's wrong," Marco said.
"Says who?" Chet said.
"The Bible," Marco said.
"It's not taking a life, if he's dying from his injuries. It's ending his suffering," Chet argued.
"It's murder," Marco argued.
Roy watched the scene in front of him develop into chaos. He turned at the noise behind him and realized the women had joined the group.
"What's going on here?" Beth Stanley asked.
"It appears we have a slight disagreement on if giving someone too much pain medication to help someone pass quicker is murder or mercy," Captain Stanley stated.
"It's murder," Marco said.
"Mercy," Chet argued.
Voices began to rise as each person argued their belief.
Joanne looked at Roy. "You gave him too much pain medication on purpose?" Everyone stopped arguing and looked at Roy.
Roy looked at her. "I never said that."
"Well, did you?" Chet asked.
"Captain Johnson has advised me not to talk to anyone about what happened that day," Roy said. "I didn't really understand that order until just now. Look at us," Roy waved his hand, encompassing the group.
Everyone looked around. The group had split into two groups, with the exception of Johnny, who stood next to Roy and Joanne in the middle of the group and Ashley who stood off to the side by herself.
"This case hasn't even started and it's pitting us against each other," Roy pointed out.
"Roy, what's your position?" Chet asked.
"Does it change whether or not you support him?" Ashley asked.
"No," Chet said.
"Then does it matter?" Ashley asked. Each person looked around, but no one answered.
"No," Captain Stanley finally said. "We all trust Roy with our lives every shift, we trust each other with our lives," he corrected. "I am sure that the decision Roy made was the best decision he could make under the circumstances."
"Me too," Chet said.
"Agreed, and we'll figure out how to get anyone on that jury to feel the same way," Marco agreed.
"So how do we do that?" Mike asked.
"Didn't anyone else see how bad the guy was injured?" Chet asked. "I mean, there's a lot of men around, they would have noticed someone with that severe an injury."
"Yes, and the men that had been present in that battle were all questioned. The problem is that none of them were in the foxhole with me, Scott and Todd. They had moved forward trying to reclaim the area. Those that saw Scott all agreed that his injuries were too severe to sustain life; but that's what actually caused me the biggest trouble. Captain Johnson believe the prosecution is going to argue that because I knew death was imminent, I intentionally overdosed him to end his pain and suffering."
"So, does he want to try to convince them that you did not do that, or that it was the appropriate thing to do?"
"The military wants to make a stance against assisted suicide, so the only chance we have at keeping me out of prison is to convince them I was not trying to end his life. Captain Johnson wants to convince them I made an error in judgement with the amount of pain medication I administered."
"That should be pretty easy to do," Chet said.
"Except there goes his career," Johnny said.
"Why?" Mary asked.
"He's a paramedic that treats patients in the field. If he says he made a mistake that killed someone they'll remove him from the program to avoid the bad publicity," Tina said.
"And even Dr. Brackett won't be able to save him," Ashley added.
"So what's the truth?" Joanne asked. "What really happened that day?"
Everyone looked toward Roy.
"Let's sit down and have dinner and I'll tell you all the story," Roy said.
He waited until the end of the meal. Then he put it off even longer, by recommending they clean up and move inside for coffee.
The group settled in the Stanley living room. Captain Stanley and Beth sat on the love seat, his arm casually around her shoulders. Chet and Mary sat in chairs that they had pulled in from the kitchen table. Lizzie had moved upstairs to hang out with the Stanley girls. Marisol, Marco, Mike and Tina shared the couch. Johnny sat on the floor leaning against the edge of the couch, Ashley sat between his legs, leaning back against him. Joanne sat in the recliner, Roy perched on the edge, unable to sit still.
"Roy, it doesn't matter what you say, we're all behind you," Johnny assured him.
Roy looked around the room. He sighed. "Joanne, maybe you should go up and check on the kids."
"Roy, you can't keep hiding this from me," she took his hand, but made it very clear she wasn't moving.
"I just want to protect you from these images."
"And I want to protect you. To do that I need to know what we are facing."
"The platoon was under heavy attack from the Viet Kong. Dennis and his brother Scott were hit by a grenade. Dennis had taken shrapnel to the head, but I knew he'd be okay. Scott was another story. Honestly, I was stunned he was still alive when I got there," Roy launched into his recollection of the event. This time though, he went into this thoughts and emotions during the event, giving his friends much more detail than he had provided Captain Johnson in the initial discussion.
When Roy finished everyone just sat there, not sure what to say. The scene he had painted was difficult to process. The group broke up shortly after. Everyone still unsure how to proceed with Roy's defense. Did his actions qualify as assisted suicide?