Hi all, all that are still around anyway... Yep, I know, my idea of soon needs some work. This chapter was a struggle tbh because it doesn't technically fit with the rest. It starts off dealing with Tony's issues and trauma and ended up dealing more with Jarvis's instead. It was actually supposed to go the same way as the other chapters but just...didn't.

WARNINGS: Aside from the usual triggers which are obviously not a problem or you wouldn't still be here, this chapter is quite a bit darker at the beginning imo, although it does get lighter towards the end, which I'm not sure if I'm happy with or not. Its has some fairly graphic imagery and I actually struggled with whether or not to upload it at all as I found it fairly disturbing to write. For some of you I imagine it is probably quite tame but others could be badly affected so if anyone is easily disturbed then possibly best read end notes first. It spawned from a news article that I found extremely upsetting to the point that I still think about it years later. Pretty sure it traumatised me and the beginning of this chapter is me working through that.

Steve pulled off his cowl and wiped his face with it as he looked around for his team, taking a mental head count.

Clint: clinging precariously to the side of a building as he made his way down. Falling more than climbing but he looked okay.

Natasha: evacuating a group of terrified civilians with perhaps a little more force than was really necessary.

Tony: flying overhead scanning for any life signs. The armour was a little dented and scraped up but he appeared largely uninjured.

Thor was loudly engaging the last of the centipedes, mocking their parentage between blows. Steve doubted they could even understand English but didn't bother stopping him.

A loud roar and the sound of a car hitting the side of a building clued him into the Hulk's whereabouts.

He stared around at the wreckage on the streets with dismay. The Avengers had been pretty late to the party. The enormous centipedes had appeared fairly docile at first and Tony's scans had confirmed no weaponry. They still had no idea what had happened to make the creatures turn so violent so suddenly but it had quickly become painfully clear that they didn't need weapons to be deadly. They just ate.

In hindsight they should have foreseen it. It was common knowledge that even garden variety centipedes were carnivorous.

The carnage was enough to make his stomach roll. Blood. Everywhere. So much blood he could smell it. Some of the bodies weren't even recognisable as people anymore. Men, women and children alike had simply been torn apart where they stood, too stunned by the sudden aggression even to run. Not that they could have gotten away if they had tried.

He was broken from his thoughts by Tony's voice coming over the comms.

"Hey, Cap, I see movement over there in the bus. Pretty sure it's a survivor. I'm gonna check it out."

"Be careful." Steve murmured back automatically, still scanning around for signs of more centipedes.

"Will do." Tony sounded a little off. Strained and on edge. He debated for a second whether to order Tony back, what with his track record for hiding injuries but he supposed they were all a little edgy. The damn things had very nearly overcome them and this was by far the biggest loss of life the Avengers had had so far.

He looked back over at Clint to find him on the ground with his arm around a shaking, pale faced, Bruce.

"It's okay." Clint was saying. "It wasn't you. None of this was the Hulk."

His heart ached briefly for Bruce, knowing how afraid the other man was. This sort of scene upon transforming back was his worst nightmare. Natasha came up on Clint's other side. She was bruised and pale but with a steely look in her eyes that he knew meant she was already repressing any and all emotion. He hated it when she did that. She and Clint both. He knew they did it for their own sanity. Knew that they had seen and done things that they couldn't face up to and this particular coping strategy would probably never be unlearned but he still wished they wouldn't.

Thor was last to approach, looking somewhat more composed than the rest of them but with a dark, haunted look in his eyes as he took in the sheer brutality of the massacre. Steve supposed that Thor had seen worse in his time and wasn't as easily affected by the horror of it. But even he looked vaguely ill at the sight of some of the bodies.

The comm crackled to life again, pulling them all from their stupor.

"Guys! ….Help...here! Fucking son of a...!"

There was a loud crash before they could even respond and the sound of repulsors discharging and then a worrying silence.

"Tony!" Steve snapped into the comm as they all sprinted towards the crashed bus in the next block that Tony had been going to check out.

"Iron Man, report! Tony, what's going on?"

It was several seconds before Tony replied.

"I'm here. It's dead. Jesus fucking Christ..." Steve let out a sigh of relief, or as much as he could while running full pelt.

"We're coming, we're on our way. Are you hurt?"

Tony took a moment to answer and they could all hear his unsteady breathing as he presumably composed himself before replying, his voice wobbling slightly.

"It was...God, Steve, it was a fucking school bus."

Steve's stomach hit the floor. He knew from Tony's shaky breaths and the slightly higher tone of voice what they were going to find.

They rounded the corner and slowed as they approached the bus, none of them wanting to be first to go in. Bruce shook his head and said quietly.

"I don't think it's a good idea that I go in there."

"Probably wise." Steve replied.

Natasha reached for Bruce's arm.

"I'll stay with him."

Steve nodded and as if by unspoken agreement, he, Clint and Thor moved forward together. The bus was miraculously upright but had smashed pretty forcefully into the wall. He braced himself as he stepped inside, sensing the other two doing the same.

It was horrific. There was no other word for it. The centipede was dead, as Tony had said, strewn across a row of seats with a hole blown through its middle. The children were...Steve tried not to look at them, feeling a stab of guilt for averting his eyes but unable to bring himself to look closely.

Tony was on the floor. He was out of the armour, wearing only the undersuit and cradling a girl in his lap. She looked to have been about 10, long dark hair matted with blood. Her lower body was mangled, half of it missing. Steve felt his stomach rising up his throat and swallowed hard. He heard Clint gagging behind him and turning to run outside but he didn't take his eyes off his teammate.

Tony looked utterly wrecked. His face was ashen, tears having left trails through the dust on his cheeks and his eyes were strangely blank. Shock, Steve's mind supplied. Tony was in shock. He took a tentative step forward and crouched beside him.

"Tony?" He said softly.

Tony looked up at him.

"She's dead. I killed it but I was too late. It was... it was fucking eating her, Steve..." His voice broke.

"Okay. Come on, Tony. We need to get you outside. Come on." He coaxed, tugging gently on Tony's arm.

"I can't...I can't just leave her..."

"She's gone, Tony." His own voice cracked a little but he forced strength into it as he pulled harder. "I'm so sorry but we can't help them."

Thor eased in behind him, taking Tony's other arm and lifting him and between them, they half carried their teammate out of the bus, the armour following behind them like a sentry.

Outside Natasha was sitting next to Clint on the kerb, hand moving steadily over his back and he could tell even without seeing Clint's face that the other Avenger was silently crying. Her face was carefully blank but he could see how much it cost her to keep it that way.

His attention was brought back to Tony by the sudden heaving of his friend's body as he doubled over and emptied his stomach onto the pavement. Thor wrapped an arm around his chest to support him as he vomited again and again, finally subsiding into gasps and dry retching.

Steve reached for his comm and gave the all clear for Emergency Services to come in while Thor led Tony away to sit on the kerb with his back to the bus. A quick call to SHIELD secured them a quick extraction to the nearest hospital and he made his way back and sat down on Tony's other side to wait with his team. They all looked terrible, Tony most of all. He looked somehow smaller than normal, more fragile and was visibly shaking. Steve hesitated for a second and then wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling his quaking body firmly into his own. Tony actually leaned in, much to his surprise. Normally he would rather have jumped off the Quinjet without a suit than let Steve hug him, especially in public.

Clint seemed to have calmed down and was just staring into space, Natasha pressed up against his side, sitting as close as humanly possible. Bruce may or may not have fallen asleep, propped against Thor who was sitting against Tony's other side, radiating warmth like a space heater.

His attention was drawn briefly by sirens in the distance and the news helicopter circling overhead and if he'd had the energy he would have been disgusted that a news crew was present even before the Emergency services arrived. He knew that their picture would be all over the papers the next morning, beaten, bloodied and huddled together for comfort; it would probably even make the evening news and he considered whether to tell his team to put on a brave face but dismissed the thought almost as soon as he had it. Everyone was exhausted and in shock and in no condition to be worrying about public opinion. He rested his chin on Tony's head and shut his eyes, praying for SHIELD to hurry up.

The debrief was brutal. They had been extracted from the scene as quickly and efficiently as possible but of course Nick Fury had wanted to know exactly how such a colossal fuck-up had happened. Tony had said nothing the entire time and Steve suspected he would have flown back to the tower himself if he hadn't already sent the suit ahead with instructions to JARVIS to start repairing the damage from the battle.

Despite how badly the massacre had affected them all, the whole team had rallied and Steve felt a flicker of pride at the way they closed ranks around Tony. Not that anyone was blaming him in particular for what had happened and he had seen them do it before with Bruce, the one most likely to be kicked when he was down but Tony, who had always been on the outskirts of the group, was currently their most vulnerable member and watching them protectively wall him off from the Director's ire warmed him a little.

He watched them all anxiously as they arrived back at the Tower, uneasy about anyone being out of his sight for too long. Tony was getting paler by the minute and Clint looked utterly done.

Thankfully it was Thor who suggested that they all refresh themselves and gather back in the common room for a movie. Everyone nodded tired agreement and slouched off to their respective floors to shower and get 5 minutes privacy to pull their shit together.

Steve stepped out of the shower, towelling off and dressing quickly. He didn't want to leave any of the team alone for too long, especially not Tony or Bruce with their history of self harm. Jarvis was on high alert, had locked down anything alcoholic and would have alarms blaring as soon as his Sir so much as opened a medicine cabinet but he still thought actual human supervision would be preferable.

3 hours later Steve couldn't have told what they had watched. He didn't remember a minute of it and doubted any of the others did either. Bruce was dozing lightly in an armchair, Natasha and Tony staring blankly into space and Clint slumped half asleep against the arm of the sofa, feet jammed under Tony's leg. Thor was faring better than most of them but even he was sitting closer to Steve than normal and the solid warmth of him was reassuring. So reassuring in fact, that it was making his eyes feel heavy.

He vaguely thought about suggesting that they all go to bed but then reconsidered. If everyone was comfortable where they were, it was better that they all stayed together. Besides, he was far too comfortable to move.

He entered the bus cautiously, scanning for life signs as he went. There were bodies everywhere and he knew if he removed the helmet, the smell of death would be overwhelming. He could see movement between the seats and readied a repulsor. He was going to blow this vile creature to kingdom come.

He edged forward carefully, wanting to hit it at point blank range. If he didn't manage to kill it immediately a fight in such close quarters might not go so well for him.

As he got closer he became aware of a different sound. Wet chewing noises and the rasp of breath. A hand reaching out and closing around the edge of the seats. He took a step nearer and the girl's face came into view. Agony was written on her features, mouth and eyes wide open, staring at him but she wasn't screaming. Perhaps she couldn't. He must have made some kind of sound because the creature raised its head and lunged towards him. Its mandibles were sticky and stringy with gore and Tony staggered back yelling into his comm for backup and swearing as he fired at it with everything he had. It fell back, screeching and writhing and he hesitated for a second to be sure there was no chance of it getting up again before dropping to the ground next to the girl.

She was staring up at him, breath coming in choked off gasps and he raised his hands to pull off the helmet and disengage the armour. He crawled out, still on his knees and grabbed his backup comm

from where it was pinned to his undersuit to answer Steve who was loudly demanding a response. He informed Cap that the centipede was dead and that he wasn't injured and after a second he told him, with only a slight wobble, about the kids.

Knowing that the rest of the team were on the way, he reached for the girl. She still hadn't made a noise and Tony was pretty sure she couldn't have even had she tried. He pulled her head into his lap, trying not to move her too much and stroked her hair out of her face with shaking fingers.

"It's okay." He told her but his voice came out hoarse and trembling and sounding anything but reassuring. He cleared his throat slightly and tried again.

"It's okay, sweetheart, it's dead. You're gonna be okay, we'll get you out of here and you'll be fine."

Her lips parted slightly but no sound emerged. She clearly knew though that she was not going to be fine. Tony tried to smile at her, swiping at the tears on her face with his thumbs but her breaths were coming shallower and more laboured and even as he watched, the lines of pain and tension disappeared from her face. He kept eye contact even as hers lost focus and it took him several seconds to realise that she had stopped breathing.

Tony woke choking, bile burning his throat as he gagged. He sat up, swallowing convulsively and clamped a hand over his mouth, trying to breathe slowly and deeply through his nose.

"Sir?" Jarvis's voice was hesitant, concerned but Tony couldn't answer him, too busy fighting down another gag. He dry heaved a few more times, becoming seriously worried that he was actually going to throw up all over the common room.

"Sir? Should I wake the others? Do you need..."

"It's okay, J." Tony forced out, finally managing to clamp down on his stomach. "It's okay, just...give me a minute."

He sat there for several minutes, just breathing and trying not to wake the others as Jarvis spoke to him in hushed tones; nothing particularly meaningful but his AI's voice was a soothing balm to his raw nerves.

He eventually calmed down and stood to go to the bathroom, causing Jarvis's reassuring monologue to cease mid sentence as he lost his balance and grabbed for the back of the sofa. After a moment he regained his equilibrium and made his way, only slightly unsteadily down the hallway to the nearest bathroom.

"Sir, I do not think it is advisable for you to be alone." His AI sounded anxious and on edge and Tony felt for him, he really did. It was his fault, after all, that Jarvis was so uneasy now when Tony was upset.

He couldn't remember much of what had happened after he took the pills but he did remember Jarvis trying to rouse him, his voice taking on an increasingly hysterical tone when he realised that he was being prevented from summoning help. It was only an old protocol from when he had still used palladium in the Arc Reactor that had allowed Jarvis to ask for assistance when his heart began to fail.

He could recall Cap trying to wake him up and shouting at Jarvis and Jarvis's distressed bursts of static as he tried to communicate. Tony had roused himself just enough to defend his friend and apologise for making him complicit in this.

He had never told Jarvis about his previous attempts at ending his life. The AI was aware that he had tried, of course but only in an academic sense; he had never really talked to him about it. Witnessing his most recent attempt had been extremely traumatic for his AI and he had been unsettled, insecure and what Tony could only describe as 'clingy' ever since.

Had he been human, Tony would have insisted that he talk to someone. However, finding a counsellor to treat an emotionally traumatised, sentient computer was no small task.

He had tried to encourage Jarvis to open up to him but had gotten precisely nowhere. The one time he had pressed the issue and attempted to question him on the subject, Jarvis had clammed up, diverted the conversation and resorted to following Tony around with the armour for 2 days. Tony's only explanation for that was that Jarvis was worried that talking about it would trigger a relapse.

Tony had eventually given up trying to reassure him and simply taken the hovering and over-protectiveness with good grace. Truthfully, it kind of stung that J wouldn't talk to him. They had never kept secrets before. But then he supposed this wasn't really a secret. It was painfully obvious what the problem was, his AI just didn't want to voice it.

He realised that he had been staring into space for almost a minute and shook himself out of it.

"I'm just going to pee, no need to freak out." He forced his voice to come out strong and steady and like a man who was absolutely coping right now.

He shut the bathroom door and did his business, taking care not to even look askance at the cabinet and pretending he didn't notice the soft hum of a electromagnetic lock. There was nothing in there even remotely lethal but Jarvis was understandably jumpy and he didn't want to give him any excuse to insist on a chaperone.

Wandering back into the common room he briefly considered waking the others. The nightmare had left him uneasy and restless and he could do with a distraction but they all looked so exhausted. Even Thor was pale faced and tired.

He sank back onto the couch, resisting the urge to get himself a stiff drink and after a moment switched the TV back on, lowering the volume so it wouldn't wake anyone.

He must have drifted off at some point because the next thing he was aware of was the smell of eggs and bacon cooking and the sounds of Clint and Natasha talking quietly. He opened his eyes, forcing himself into a sitting position and looked around. Steve was still asleep, chin on his chest and that was going to be one hell of a crick in his neck when he woke up but the others were gone, presumably in the kitchen.

Tony hauled himself up with more effort than the manoeuvre probably warranted and swayed his way towards the kitchen, rubbing at his gritty eyes and giving Steve a shake on his way past.

"How are you doing?"

Natasha dropped a slice of bread in the frying pan and shook it, all the while avoiding Clint's eyes. She knew he wouldn't give her an honest answer while she was looking at him, it was his thing, he couldn't help it. His immediate reaction to someone making eye contact and asking him a personal question was to lie.

He sighed. "Okay, I guess. I just can't... I can't get the sight out of my head. And the smell. I keep thinking I can still smell blood and death and..."

He ran a hand roughly through his hair before continuing. "I'm glad you didn't see it. I wish I hadn't seen it. Poor Tony. He was in there watching that little girl..." Clint didn't seem to be able to finish a sentence.

She was still trying to string together a reassurance of some kind; some words that might be of some comfort to him when they were distracted by the door opening.

"Hey." Tony's voice sounded forced and awkward even to him and he pretended not to notice the glances they exchanged, clearly trying to work out how much he might have overheard.

"Hey, Tony. You uh, you want some breakfast?" Clint held up the pan of bacon he was poking at in offering and Tony's eyebrows shot up in disbelief.

"You're cooking?"

"Yeah."

"Is it safe?"

"Unbelievable!" Clint threw up his hands. "That's fucking gratitude for you!"

Snorts from behind him preceded the arrival of the others and they all gathered around the table to examine the offerings.

"We shall be poisoned as one!" Thor joked half heartedly as he sat down.

Tony and Clint both forced a smile for him but no one laughed.

Breakfast was a quiet, strained affair and only Natasha and Thor were able to eat much but everyone was obviously trying for some degree of normality. Even so, after a while the stilted attempts at conversation subsided and they all sat in near silence. It was a companionable silence though and none of them made any excuse to leave the table. It was almost peaceful. Which was why everyone jumped as though they had been shot when the coffee maker and microwave simultaneously exploded.

Steve leapt up and grabbed the fire extinguisher, spraying powder over the smouldering appliances as Tony grabbed a towel and flapped it wildly under the smoke detector to prevent it going off and adding to his already pounding headache.

"Jarvis, what the Hell!" He demanded.

"Apologies, Sir. A slight malfunction."

"You think!" Tony looked marginally better now, faced with a crisis he could deal with and back on the familiar ground of trading snark with Jarvis.

"What happened?" Bruce asked, standing and looking up, despite knowing that the AI didn't, in fact, live in the ceiling.

"A power surge?" Steve guessed.

"Jarvis?" Tony prompted.

"Yes, Sir?"

He sighed. "Don't get cute. What was that?"

The AI hesitated. "A...mistake."

Even in his fragile and fucked up state, Tony Stark wasn't called a genius for nothing and he immediately picked up on the wording.

"A malfunction or a mistake?"

There was no answer but a faint crackle of static.

"You did that." It wasn't a question.

"Why? It wasn't an accident, those sockets are protected against surges. What were you trying to do?"

Again, Jarvis didn't respond and Tony felt a twinge of irritation. "Jarvis!" He snapped.

"It was...intended to be a distraction, Sir." His voice was subdued, clearly reluctant to elaborate but Tony was sick and tired of playing 20 questions. He had no energy for this shit. He wanted explanations damn it!

"Okay, J, you have 30 seconds to give me a straight answer and it had better be good or so help me..." He stopped mid sentence as an image of himself flashed up on the kitchen TV screen.

"Okay..." He squinted. "Nope. Sorry, J man, I'm not seeing it."

The image shifted, zooming in further, cropping the rest of the team out so that only Tony and part of the work surface was visible.

Tony frowned. "C'mon buddy, help me out here. What's the problem?" Then he saw it and his heart clenched. Fuck. His head dropped into his hands and he took several calming breaths and pulled together every shred of patience and empathy he could muster.

"This has to stop." He said quietly, not opening his eyes.

"Sir, I..."

"No!" Tony cut him off abruptly. "For Christ's sake, Jarvis! I was just staring into space. Just thinking. I had a headache for crying out... Fuck, I wasn't going to... I can't deal with this!" He stood up, picked up his mug and dumped it into the sink with such force he was surprised it didn't break.

"What's going on?" Clint asked uncertainly.

"Give us a minute." Tony requested.

"Not until you fill us in." Steve interjected. "What's wrong, is something the matter with him? Is he malfunctioning?"

"No. No he isn't malfunctioning. He's doing exactly what I built him to do, this isn't his fault." Tony looked on the verge of tears again but his voice was steady. "This my fault."

"I don't understand." Steve sounded completely bemused.

Tony seemed to pull himself together then, standing up straighter.

"Everything's okay, Cap, nothing I can't deal with, but J and I need our privacy for this conversation."

Steve hesitated, clearly uncertain about leaving him alone and Tony resisted the urge to snap at him. Steve was a good friend. Better than he deserved, he knew that and he hovered because he cared but God it was annoying sometimes.

Finally Steve nodded and signalled the others to clear out. One by one they filed out of the kitchen, shooting him looks of concern and a few of curiosity.

He sat down at the table and tried to gather his thoughts. He needed to handle this sensitively.

Things between he and Jarvis had been coming to a head for weeks and he really could do with minimising the fallout if at all possible. Right. Okay. Sensitive. Sensitive was not his forte.

He took a deep breath.

"It was the Motrin, right?"

"Sir?"

"Don't 'Sir' me. Just give it to me straight. You saw me looking at the Motrin, right?"

Of course it was the damn Motrin. He had seen it sticking out of Nat's bag on the counter and had briefly wondered if it was worth stealing some for his pounding headache.

There was no response from Jarvis and Tony sighed. If this was the reaction to him looking at the pills, he was glad he hadn't tried to swipe some. Although to be fair to Jarvis, he hadn't realised quite what an expression of longing he had been wearing.

"Jarvis, you can't just go around blowing up appliances every time I go near a pack of Advil."

Still no answer.

"You know how difficult it would be to commit suicide with Motrin? It'd take way more than Nat has in that tiny clutch. Nobody kills themselves with Ibuprofen, J."

The silence continued and Tony found himself getting irritated, despite his intentions of a calm and reasoned heart to heart.

"Jarvis!" He slammed his hand down on the table in frustration. "Stop ignoring me! We are having this conversation! You cannot keep treating me like I'm made of glass."

"I am not!" Jarvis paused and then continued, sounding surprised at his own outburst. "I am under no illusions regarding your resilience, Sir. However, you have just endured a horrific and traumatising experience and I... I felt it prudent to take precautions."

"It's not just today though is it? You've been on eggshells with me for weeks. Look, J, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have... you shouldn't have had to see that. I basically trapped you there and forced you to watch me die. I should have shut you down, I shouldn't have let you see me like that. I was in a really bad place, buddy and I wasn't thinking straight and I don't expect you to forgive me for that but..."

"There is nothing to forgive and if there were then I would already have done so." Jarvis cut off the rambling apology.

Tony stared up at the ceiling for a moment before replying quietly. "I'm still sorry."

"I apologise for the coffeemaker."

"Don't worry about it. It's only 10am, you'll regret that soon enough. Look J... I meant what I said to Steve. This isn't your fault. I'm responsible for this. But something has to be done. You know that. We can't carry on like this."

"What are you proposing?" Jarvis sounded wary and Tony knew that the AI was considering what he had said and was coming to the same conclusion.

He blew out a long breath and rubbed his hands over his face before speaking.

"I'll be gentle. I won't take anything more than I have to. You'll know the facts, when, where and all that jazz but you won't remember. It'll be like reading it in a textbook. No emotion involved."

"No." Jarvis's voice was level but uncompromising, making it very clear that he would not be taking this lying down.

"Don't you trust me?"

"With everything that I am, but I will not allow this."

"Don't make this difficult, J. You think I like this? You're not just any AI to me, you know that. I don't like the idea of changing anything that makes you, you but you're traumatised and I can't exactly send you to a therapist, can I?"

"I do not consent to this!" Jarvis objected strongly. " I will make a concerted effort to overcome my difficulties, Sir but I was not ever intended to be merely an assistant. My role has always been that of a...companion."

The hesitation nearly broke Tony's heart. He threw his hands up in surrender.

"Okay, lets just call a spade a spade, shall we? I built my own best friend. Lets just get that out there. I love you more than probably anything or anyone else and if it ever came down to it, I'd protect you with everything I had. None of that is going to change. You won't change. This is one memory, J. One event that you'll still recall, you just won't be able to associate any emotion with it. You won't remember any of the feelings, just the facts. You know how this works for Christ's sake, you've helped me do it with the bots after their little dip in the ocean."

"The scenarios are entirely different." Jarvis insisted. "If you were to become unwell, I may not act promptly enough, if I am even able to recognise the situation for what it is. I could not allow another attempt due to my negligence."

"I'm not going to wipe that much! A tiny amount, buddy, I promise. You're blowing this out of all proportion. You'll know everything that happened, you'll probably still be a little overprotective but I can't let you carry on as you are, assuming the worst of every move I make."

"Your intention was to allow me to develop as a human personality would."

"To allow you to develop, not to let you suffer!" Although right now he was regretting allowing Jarvis quite so much free reign to argue.

"I will not permit this!" Jarvis's voice was final and unwavering but Tony could detect, with the ease of long familiarity, the note of hysteria in it.

"I'm sorry, J" He pushed himself up and headed towards the workshop.

"Sir!" The plaintive, desperate note in his AI's voice made him hesitate and he sighed, sinking back into his seat and looking up.

"One more incident, Jarvis. Even one and we won't be having this conversation again, do you understand? You won't get a say in this next time so there better not be a next time, capiche?"

"You have my word that I will do my utmost not to over react. But, Sir, I can not promise that I will not attempt to prevent further self harm."

He banged his head down on the table. This was just going around in circles and he was starting to get seriously pissed off.

"For Christ's Sake! I swore to you, didn't I? I'm not going to break that promise, J, what part of that aren't you getting?"

"I understand perfectly, Sir, I just prefer to take all possible precautions." Tony looked up sharply, catching the slight hesitation in the sentence that indicated Jarvis was carefully considering his choice of words.

"You don't trust me, is what you're trying to get at here, right?"

"I trust you with..."

"Everything you are, yeah I got that, stop sidestepping the question. Lets just have it, shall we? You trust me with your life but not to keep a promise."

"I did not say that and I resent the implication!"

"You didn't have to!" He was fuming now

"You shall have to forgive me, Sir, but your record speaks for itself when it comes to promises regarding your own health." His tone was acidic and cold with anger and Tony knew logically that they needed to stop this conversation and return to it when they had both calmed down but he couldn't bring himself to disengage.

"What the Hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Did you not promise Colonel Rhodes that you would stop drinking to excess while alone? There have been four incident's in the last year alone..."

"Fuck you!" Tony cut him off, almost breathless with equal parts hurt and anger. Jarvis didn't often allow himself to be baited into a fight but when he did, he sure knew where to aim.

"Fuck you, J! I can't believe you just said that."

Jarvis didn't answer and Tony raked his hands through his hair in agitation.

"Fine. Fine if that's the way you feel, I might as well walk off the damn roof right now!"

"Do not be so melodramatic."

"No! If I hadn't made you a promise, last night would have been it, for me but if my word apparently means sweet fuck all to you, I wish I hadn't bothered! Tell you what? Lets get it over with shall we? If it's so fucking inevitable! Come on! I'll jump right now and you can stop me and feel fucking vindicated; that's what you want, isn't it!"

"I won't allow it."

"Oh, you won't, will you? Is that right?" He was furious beyond reason with a burning desire to rip that control away from his AI; to really give him something to overreact to and a small part of his brain, easily ignored, was telling him how fucked up this was. He was going too far. Jarvis would never forgive him. He wasn't even sure he could forgive himself.

He took the stairs two at a time, reaching the second flight in record time.

"Sir, come back immediately and cease this behaviour." There was static in the background now but rather than pulling his heartstrings like it usually did, the expression of distress only served to infuriate him further.

"Tony, what the Hell are you doing?"

"Tony?"

"Stark, what the fuck?"

The Avengers voices from the bottom of the stairs barely even penetrated the red mist.

He reached the top of the stairs, marched onto the roof and headed straight towards the nearest edge.

"Sir, please." He almost hesitated at the raw panic in his AI's voice. This was an asshole move, he had no intention of dying, he knew for a fact that there would be a suit waiting before he even stepped over the edge and he wouldn't come within a hundred metres of the ground.

Jarvis sounded fucking terrified and this was the cruellest possible way to make his point.

His second thoughts came seconds too late. The feel of the ground dropping away beneath his feet and the wind rushing past him as he fell was exhilarating and then frightening as he realised how far he had already fallen and that the suit hadn't caught him. The stab of panic had barely even hit, however, when he heard a deafening crash and felt cold arms close around him with bruising force.

The glowing eyes of the armour regarded him coldly even as it pulled him tight against the chest plate and pulled sharply out of the dive, making Tony scramble to wrap his legs around it's waist before his back bent in a way spines really weren't supposed to bend. He stared up at it refusing to break eye contact but it didn't speak.

Whenever Jarvis took control of a suit Tony had always felt a certain warmth in the way it looked at him, despite it not having any real features. Now he fancied that it looked at him with an icy fury as though it was restraining itself from crushing him in its hold and he felt the last of his own anger dissipate.

"Jarvis!" He shouted, his words whipped away almost instantly by the wind but he knew Jarvis could read his lips if not hear him.

"I hope that you are not under the impression that this was in any way helpful." Jarvis's voice was trembling and Tony was pretty sure that it wasn't just the effect of the wind on the speakers.

"I know. God, I know; I'm so sorry. I don't even know what... I was just so fucking MAD at you and I knew you'd catch me..."

"Knowing you had no intent makes this situation only marginally more tolerable."

Tony let his forehead clunk loudly onto the suit's shoulder. "I'm sorry. God, we have to stop this, we're tearing each other apart. You're driving me insane and I'm turning you into a nervous wreck."

"I do not consent to the proposal of altering my memories."

"Jarvis..." Tony groaned, unable to summon the energy for yet another argument that would lead them around in circles until one or both of them inevitably lost their temper.

"...but I will submit." Jarvis continued, speaking over him as though he hadn't interrupted.

"You...I'm sorry, you what?"

"I will submit to the procedure. I do not wish it done but if it will prevent further conflict between us, I will submit."

Tony stared up at him, or rather at the armour, not knowing how to respond. He had jumped off a roof to push home the point that Jarvis could not prevent him from doing anything he damn well wanted and now he had his way, well, he could hardly go through with it, could he? It would feel like the grossest of violations to force this on him now.

His brain cast around helplessly for something to say that would somehow make things right and as usual, ended up in the gutter.

"If you wanted me to make you submit, there were other ways to go about it, J. You could've just asked." He punctuated the comment with a squeeze of his legs around the armour's hips and a suggestive half smile.

"I find myself beginning to sympathise with Ms Potts' desire to 'spank you like the brat you are.'" Jarvis commented but Tony could sense him thawing slightly and broke into a grin.

"Oh, please, feel free. Anytime. No, seriously, now is good, go right ahead with tha...OW!" He broke off laughing as a hand landed sharply on his left buttock.

"Apologies, Sir. I believe I may have damaged armour's gross motor functions when I broke through the wall. There appears to be a slight glitch."

"I love it when you talk dirty." The gauntlet landed on his other cheek.

"There it is again." Jarvis commented dryly.

Tony cackled and tightened his grip. "Can we get down now?"

Jarvis didn't reply but took them down out of the wide circle they had been flying around the tower and back towards the roof, setting him down with little fanfare as the others came rushing towards them.

He started to move towards them, hands raised in an attempt to placate them but hesitated and turned back towards the suit.

"Look, Jarvis, I'm not going to touch you, okay? You don't want it done, we don't do it. I won't force you."

"Thank you, Sir." He decided he wasn't imagining the hint of relief in his AI's reply.

For a second he thought Jarvis might be about to hug him but they were interrupted by Steve and Clint reaching them and pulling him around, both talking anxiously over each other and attempting to pat him down for damage.

"I thought we were past this, Tony, I thought you were okay!" Steve sounded gutted. "You swore you'd talk to me, you promised."

"I wasn't killing myself, everything's cool, go back to whatever it is you all do when I'm not around." He waved them off dismissively.

"Then what the fuck, Tony!" Clint exploded, "What the actual FUCK? You just walked off the roof after a fucking... domestic with your... your... HAL wannabe! ...And you're trying to tell us you're perfectly fine? Fuck this!" He whirled on the spot and stormed back inside, swearing violently.

"It was just..." He glanced back at the armour, still standing sentinel behind him. "...a trust exercise."

"A trust exercise?" Steve repeated dumbfounded. "Tony... the WALL. You broke through a wall and a window for a trust exercise?"

He shrugged. "I've knocked out walls for less. I'm pretty sure it wasn't load bearing."

Steve watched his face carefully. "You ever gonna tell me what this was in aid of?"

"Nope."

"Are you okay?"

Tony softened slightly at the genuine concern. "Yeah, Cap. I'm okay."

He watched him a moment longer before nodding. "Okay."

Tony waited for him to go before turning towards the armour.

"Jarvis? We good?"

The suit reached out to grasp his shoulder in response and he smiled slightly. Yeah. They were okay. He was a dick of the highest order and his AI was a nut job but they were okay.

"Sir? Regarding the wall..."

"Load bearing?"

"Indeed."