The First Chapter

I swing my feet carelessly as I sat on the kitchen counter. Technically only being 5 and a half this habit was normal for me though it was not normal for a 14 or 15 year old, which was about the age I looked. I often got confused on age appropriate behavior. My intellect was far beyond the average 25 year old, but socially, had only 6 years of experience. It also didn't help that most of my family was well over 100 years old and I had picked up social mannerisms from their time period as well. I didn't know how a normal girl of 15 was supposed to act. My mother couldn't even help me there because she was never a normal teen in her human days, so she said. I was still shy and wasn't sure how to connect to others. Jacob was the only one who really understood me. Just like my mother, I frequently felt as though my brain didn't work as other's did.

Though I enjoyed being barefoot and swinging my feet, wondering if this was right to do, was at the fore front of my mind. I absentmindedly watched grandma Esme glide around the kitchen cooking for Seth, who was with my father in the living room. I was awaiting anxiously Jacob's arrival. Childishly, I had become very upset when my best friend had gotten a steady job at a repair garage. Hiding my disappointment well, I pretended to be thrilled that he would be spending 40 hours a week away from me. If I was being truthful, I was sulky and lonely.

"Are you sure you don't need any help?" I asked grandma for the umpteenth time.

"Thank you, princess, but I'm almost done anyway." She must have noticed my disappointment because she added quickly, "If you want to get a plate and silverware out for Seth that would be helpful."

I silently jumped down from the counter. Grandma looked at me sympathetically as I set everything on the table that hardly anyone used. With my miniscule task completed, I was once again a drifting object in space without a specific direction or purpose.

"Those aren't the clothes I laid out for you," A voice like wind chimes said. Turning to the sound, Alice's arms were folded across her chest. Her feet were shoulder width apart and her right foot was tapping. She looked as though she could have had a string quartet playing "Harsh Angry" in the background.

I heard Dad laugh.

I felt heat on my cheeks and knew they must have been turning red.

"Hey Alice," Seth grinned. "Did you do something different? You look nice."

"I did actually! I parted my bangs to the left instead of the right! I was looking at this magazine and I notice that…" Alice continued her explanation in rapid speed and enthusiasm.

Seth turned to me and winked and I mouthed thanks for the distraction.

Instead of putting on Alice's ghastly pink, nightmare of an outfit, I had thrown on a pair of jeans and a gray t-shirt Jacob out grew a long time ago.

It was at that moment, I heard a car coming up the drive. My heart rate accelerated and my chest swelled. The corners of my mouth stretched into a wide smile. Bouncing out of the house on the balls of my feet, I flung open the front door and threw myself into Jacob's arms. His deep husky laugh made his chest shake.

"It's worth getting off work late if this is the kind of hello I get."

Turning my head up to him, a small break in the clouds let the sun show down. The sun's light momentarily blazed around Jacob's tall silhouette. The rays were so bright and I was so unused to this bust of sunshine at Forks that it hurt my eyes. But I couldn't look away. My eyes were inexplicably glued to the sight of large, strong, smiling Jacob. With the golden light and the color of his skin he looked as though he were the image of a Greek god wrought with bronze. I didn't even want to blink for fear of missing one glorious millisecond of what I was seeing. The clouds moved across the sun, covering its glow. The moment could have lasted a few seconds or an eternity, time had stopped.

"Hey Nessie are you ok?" Jacob asked, his eyebrows knit together.

Apparently my breathing had stopped along with time.

"Can you breath?" Jacob looked panicked, as I could only imagine what my face looked like.

I took in a deep breath, as I nodded, not trusting what my voice would sound like. He chuckled lightly not knowing what to make of my behavior. Jacob kept an arm around my shoulders as we walked at a slow pace back into the house.

"Where you reading Greek mythology before I got here?" Jacob asked.

I frowned, "No, why?"

"Oh," Jacob looked confused. "For a split second there, you projected a thought of Apollo."

"Apollo?" I squeaked.

"Yeah, you know, the sun god. I thought maybe you were reading something and had it on your mind."

"Oh, well," I scrambled trying to find something to say, "I was thinking about reading some later. There was something on the history channel about it and it made me think how I hadn't read the Metamorphosis in a while," I fidgeted with my hands and started to play with my hair. I was rambling.

As soon as we got into the house I pulled away from Jacob, pretending to want to look for the book as he went to say hello to Seth and grandma. Alice and Jasper were tucked away in a corner of the room having a moment. Dad was at his piano with mom who smiled and gave Jacob a quick hug as he walked by. Maybe Dad hadn't noticed my thoughts because we weren't as close to him as everyone else and he tried to block out everything anyway. All I had to do was to not think about what just happened. I didn't even know what just happened. But telling myself not to think about it is just making me think about it. And why did I feel so guilty and nervous about this all? That's when it happened, I slipped. My heart thudded fast and hard against my ribcage. Just an instant I thought about that moment outside. His dark deep set eyes, and the outline of his broad shoulders and strong arms bathed in the sunlight wrapped around me and smiling. My face got hot.

Dad hit the wrong chord and stopped playing. Everyone turned and looked at him in shock, stunned at what happened, frozen in place. He never made a mistake, something was very wrong and the whole household knew it.

Mentally, I started singing Yankee Doodle and trying to translate it into Japanese.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he closed his eyes and let out a long low, almost in audible growl. This only made everyone even more concerned.

"Bella love," He began. "I completely forgot to tell you that I promised Carlisle that I would help him move into his new hospital today."

Mom looked confused. She didn't think that warranted such a dramatic reaction.

"It's nothing serious but I did promise you that we would go hunting alone together today. I must have gotten distracted with other thoughts." Dad looked at me briefly and flicked his eyes away. "I'm so sorry, I feel terrible for forgetting."

"It's Alright," my mother frowned. Everyone suspiciously looked away not wanting to press the matter.

Dad must have been very shaken to construct such a terrible lie when he was normally so good. I saw him stiffen even more than usual in response to that thought. Carlisle couldn't stay any longer than five or six years at the same hospital. After leaving Forks Hospital he had gone to another one a few hours drive away where no one would know him. But the time came once again for him to move on.

Jacob came into the room. With strong, quick, fluid movements, almost like an aggressive dance he moved across the room and settled himself on the couch with Seth. Had his movements always been so hypnotic?

"Why so far away, Nessie?" Jacob half smiled as he patted the sofa next to him.

I realized that usually I didn't hesitate to sit next to Jacob or be close to him, but when he said that, I felt butterflies.

Hesitantly, walking over, I tried to think what was wrong with me. I always knew Jacob was beautiful, why was this different? I couldn't even look him in the face as I sat beside him. He pushed my hair aside from my face and stupidly, a small giggle escaped my lips. Thank goodness Jacob wasn't particularly observant!

I could only see a quarter of my father's face from where I was sitting but from what I could see, his jaw was clenched tightly.

"Well, tomorrow tonight is a full moon," Jacob began. "And in keeping with tradition, we are having a bonfire. Would you like to come?"

I don't know how it started, I think it was Seth who suggested the first one, but as an inside joke the pack would gather together on first beach every full moon. Some times they told old Quileute legends, but mostly they just goofed off.

"Come on Nessie, we can drink punch and dance until we crash from all the sugar!" Seth encouraged.

"Like I needed any convincing, Seth? You guys know I'll be there," I laughed looking at Seth's jazzed expression.

"Sweet!"

My stomach growled. I hadn't even realized that I was hungry until that moment.

"You didn't go hunting Ness?" Jacob asked.

I shook my head. I knew better than to go this long without blood. I was missing Jacob so much that I hadn't even thought about going hunting. I still needed blood in addition to food. Both parts of me had to be fed. My throat became scratchy.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Race you!" Jacob smiled widely as he ran out the back door. Sometimes he was such a kid.

I followed after him and I watched the wind throw around his hair. I pumped my legs faster and over took him with a smirk. I was so fast I was flying. I felt light and invincible. There was no greater feeling than running at full speed. By the time Jacob caught back up with me he was in his wolf form. He must have waited for me to run further off before phasing.

I stopped and closed my eyes letting my senses tell me where the best hunt was. I smelled something sweet coming from the west. And a fast beating heart rang in my ears. Running to the sound, my mouth watered and I gave myself up to the kill. As I came closer I heard the clop of a dear's hoofs against the ground. Following the sound I spotted a doe running, and so fast I became a blur, I jumped the animal. My teeth sliced into the neck. I felt the bones snap under my jaw and felt the hot flow of blood fill my mouth. I drained the animal in seconds. I was much more starved for blood than I thought.

Jacob trotted to my side after I was done. His sharp fangs ripped into the meat of the dear. I made a disgusted face. I needed to turn away. It wasn't just the fact that it was a wild animal eating another raw wild animal but it was the carcass being dismembered. Not only was the dismemberment bothering me but the fact that the wolf was my Jacob tearing the pieces. I walked a few feet away with my back turned pretending to find the foliage particularly interesting.

"I don't get it," came Jacob's voice after a few moments. "I can watch little Nessie snap the neck off a dear but it turns your stomach to see me in wolf form eating another animal, one of nature's most natural instincts."

He was smiling at me as he said all of this, so I knew he wasn't mad at me, only amused by the irony. Jacob had very considerately put the remains out of sight.

His cut off sweats were back on but his shirt had been left at the door of the house. My eyes were glued to his torso and my face became hot. Dad didn't think it was appropriate for a bunch of grown men to be shirtless around his young daughter, so the guys all had clothes at the house but when they phased back and forth their options were limited. There were butterflies in my stomach that wouldn't calm down. I swallowed and forced myself to look away. I had seen Jacob like this many times. What was wrong with me?

"Yeah," I chuckled nervously. I didn't know what to say. I never had a problem talking to Jacob before.

"Oh well, I guess it's something we both have to get use to."

I knodded and kept my eyes fixed on the long, thin leather strap wrapped around his ankle and calf. I tried to concentrate on the diamond shapes the dark leather strap made on his skin as it cris-crossed.

"Nessie?" Jacob walked over to me. "Are you sick? This is the second time today you look like you're going to throw up."

He ran over to me so close that my face was at eye level with his stomach. This was unbearable. I held my hands tightly together to keep myself from reaching out and touching him. He knelt beside me touching my face and forehead. His hands left a hot trail on my face, that didn't go away.

"You don't have a fever, but you are warmer than usual. I think you are coming down with something. You have never been sick before, I didn't think you could. Carlisle should take a look at you. We should get back now," He ordered firmly.

He scooped me up in his arms and he started running back to the house, not as fast as he would if he was phased but not nearly as slow as a human. I was already pressed up against his chest and tried to calm my heart. Once we started approaching the house Dad was already there. He didn't look happy to say the least.

His eyes shot to me and his nostrils flared slightly, "Jacob would you please put your shirt back on."

Jacob frowned as he put me back on my feet.

"Carlisle won't be arriving back from the hospital until late tonight," Dad answered his thoughts.

We weren't too far out. I wondered if dad had heard what I was thinking on our hunting trip.

Ever so slightly he inclined his head to me and made one small nod.

I was going to die of embarrassment.

"Will you stop yelling at me Jacob, I'm sure she is just fine and for the love of all that is holy, put some clothes on!"

Jacob had been silent the whole time, but he huffed, stomping over to the house to get a shirt.

"I hope you don't use that type of language in front of my daughter, Jacob Black," Dad chastised tilting his head down and putting his fingers to his temples, eyes closed.

I started to walk after him.

"May I have a moment Renesmee," Dad said and I winced. He chuckled, "Don't worry you aren't in trouble."

I bit my lip and played with the end of my hair, as we walked away from the house a bit. I couldn't help but think of every time I felt funny and wondered if that was what he wanted to talk about. I was really hoping it was something else.

"No such luck," he smirked. "Renesmee, I'm not mad at you and you aren't in trouble. I'm just letting you know, at your age," he paused looking rather uncomfortable "what you are feeling is normal."

I shrieked internally! Oh no dad! I have had the talk already don't do this! And it hit me. Do I have a crush on Jacob? Of course I had read about falling in love and being in love but this was completely different when I actually was experiencing it. I just didn't want to believe it… Jacob? The same Jacob who dressed up in princess costumes with me? The same Jacob who drools entirely too much in his sleep? The same Jacob that sniffs his arm pit? The same Jacob who changed my diapers? Oh no! This is the same guy who has seen me poo my pants. Please no!

Dad was looking as though he was torn between wanting to laugh and feeling sorry for my mortification. I couldn't say anything. I just squeaked. I guess that did it for my father because he let out a bark of laughter. I turned crimson.

"I just wanted to let you know that, your mother and I-"

You talked to mom about this!

He held up a finger to let him continue, looking stern. "She is going to be shielding your thoughts from me for a little while. These thoughts are private and I just don't feel right intruding, even if I'm not intentionally doing so. You shouldn't have to keep worrying about me. Besides, I don't think I can handle much more of this. It's hard enough watching you grow so quickly."

He looked thoughtful, a modern version of "Thinking Man".

Dad smiled his crooked smile, "We can go back in now, princess." His cold hand touched the side of my face and he looked deep into my eyes, the same color my mother use to have. He looked at me like a cherishing father. If he could shed a tear, I'm sure he would have.