Chapter Four – Forgive Us Our Trespasses
Holtem rubbed his eyes, more tired than the late hour demanded. In all his years in office, and in all the many centuries the Dayohsi had welcomed travellers to their world, there had never been a misunderstanding as serious as this.
He had dismissed the Ko, unable to offer it any comfort or accuse it of any crime. Not that he had ever believed there had been, but it simply would have been easier if there was. Clear cut guilt, clear cut victim; this could have all been resolved by now.
"Commandant?"
Holtem looked up at the speaker. His aide, Telso*click* stood formally at the door.
"Yes?"
"It is the human captain, Commandant." He said. "He requests an audience."
Holtem sighed. "It's been a long night."
"Should I tell him to come back tomorrow?"
The Commandant considered telling Telso*click* to get rid of Archer, admitting to himself how attractive that prospect was, but the door was pushed open before he could decide. The human captain strode in, brow drawn down in anger.
"I've just finished requesting; now I'm demanding." Archer told him firmly.
Telso*click* barred the captain's way. "I'm sorry, Commandant! Captain, if you would wait-"
Archer met Holtem's gaze unflinchingly. "I am going to talk to you."
Holtem sighed and waved his hand to the chair. "Of course, captain." He looked up. "that will be all, Telso*click*. I'll see you in the morning."
The aide looked alarmed. "Commandant, I believe I should stay."
Holtem shook his head. "I will be fine. The captain and I have much to discuss."
"But sir…" He sounded worried.
Holtem allowed himself to smile. "Go home, my friend. It's late. The captain just wishes to talk. His anger, I believe, is justified. I will be fine."
Archer nodded his agreement of this and the aide reluctantly obeyed.
"Then I thank you, Commandant. Good night to you." And he bowed his head to Archer. "And to you, Captain."
The door closed behind him and the huge office suddenly seemed confined, thick with Archer's angry presence. Holtem sighed. That brief conversation with Telso*click* was probably the simplest of the days.
"Captain, how may I help you?"
Archer sat down. "I spoke to my officer."
"I trust he is recovered?"
"His wounds are healing." His eyes tightened in anger. "His physical wounds at least."
Holtem shook his head, sadly. "I have questioned the Ko. I do not believe it guilty of any crime."
"It forced itself upon my officer!"
"It did not realise Mr Reed would not experience joy with the Hek*sic*. For that, it is truly sorry."
"It must have known he was in pain!"
"It didn't."
"I don't believe that."
"Why should it?" Holtem's voice cracked a little in frustration. "That reaction has never happened before. Your officer allowed the act to take place; that is not in question. Neither is the fact the Ko meant nothing but honour in offering him the Hek*sic*. If the Lieutenant regrets accepting now, all we can do is apologise."
"Humans believe in the autonomy of their own bodies. We do not force ourselves on others!"
"Neither do we." Holtem snapped. Then he took a deep breath, visibly calming himself. "Captain, I do understand your anger. But in my opinion the Ko has done nothing wrong. I will not punish it for your crewman's lack of understanding."
"It violated my officer!"
"The Ko are not capable of such things."
"It proved it was capable when it forced itself on Lieutenant Reed!"
"You do not understand the Ko. They are not born for violence and hatred."
Holtem's manner calmed Archer, and he relented. "Then tell me. What is the Ko?"
***
Trip sat in silence. Malcolm had dozed off at one point, but he jolted awake after about half an hour, something akin to panic in his eyes. He had relaxed a little when he saw he wasn't alone and lay back down on the bed. Trip had wanted to ask what was wrong, but the words wouldn't come out. And after a few moments, Malcolm's eyes closed again and the chance to speak was taken away.
So Trip sat there, in the darkened medical bay and pretended to be fooled by Malcolm pretending to be asleep.
He wanted to say something, some comfort, anything, but his mind was blank. Not that it seemed to matter anyway. Malcolm had made no effort to talk; that worried Trip most of all. On the shuttlepod, when they had believed the Enterprise had been destroyed and that they were doomed to a slow death, Malcolm had done nothing but talk. Now he was every bit as stoic as Trip thought he should have been then. It was disturbing.
Trip had once dated a girl who'd been abused as a child and the relationship had never been able to go beyond that. But he'd been only a boy then, with a narrow view of the world, unable to comprehend the enormity of the evil. He knew how much of a part he had played in the relationships failure.
But he was a man now.
So much for maturity…
His bladder began to demand attention and he got up. His limbs ached from the lack of movement and he realised that more time had passed since Archer had left than he had realised. Trip wandered out of the small medial bay Reed was in, into the sterile corridor beyond, not recognising any of it. On the way in, he'd been too concerned with Malcolm to notice much around.
He eventually found a door with what he hoped was the Dayohsi equivalent of the "men's toilets" sign on the front. Inside, he discovered he'd guessed right and he set about relieving himself.
At the sink, he washed his hands and splashed water on his face. As it dribbled coldly over his skin, he felt a little more awake. He hadn't realised just how tired he was. The small toilet room was silent and the peace was wonderful. For a moment, he just wanted to stay here, in the quiet and never have to think again. But he couldn't leave his friend alone…
He quickly dried his face and left. As he made he was back to Malcolm, Phlox came out of one of the doors ahead of him deep in conversation with a young Dayohsi medic.
"Doc!"
"Commander, how is the lieutenant?"
"Damned if I know."
"You have not seen him?" Phlox looked surprised.
"Yeah." Trip sighed, "but all he does is just sit there! It's like…It's like nothin' happened!"
"That's good, isn't it?"
"Yes…No! Look, I dunno about on your planet, doc, but when…what happened…happens to one of us, it…hell, I don't know what it does. But I know he shouldn't be…like he is."
The Denobulan thought a moment. "It's been a while since I studied this kind of trauma, but I do know that any one reaction is just as valid as another."
"But that's just it. Far as Malcolm's concerned there's been no trauma, he volunteered for this Hek thing so he deserved everythin' he got."
"Misplaced guilt and a sense of responsibility are very common."
"No way is Malcolm responsible for what that bastard did to him."
"The more this is reinforced, the more likely Lieutenant Reed will believe it."
Trip made a snorting noise. Phlox looked questioningly at him. "Is there anything more?"
Trip looked awkward, forcing himself not to shuffle his feet like an embarrassed boy. "I don't know what the hell to say to him." He admitted. There, he said it. Wasn't so bad now was it?
"Words are often not necessary." Phlox told him. "Your presence is reassurance."
"Yeah…yeah, I hope you're right." Trip looked back along the corridor. "Guess I better get back."
"I was just on my way to visit Lieutenant Reed. Perhaps it would be better if I saw him in private."
The request drew Trip up sharp. "Yeah…Yeah. I'll…ah…I'll just wait here then."
"I would recommend getting some sleep yourself."
"Yeah, maybe."
"Good night."
Trip smiled despite himself. "Actually I think its morning."
"Indeed." Phlox agreed. "In that case, I believe it is customary on your planet to say 'Merry Christmas' today."
Trip watched the doctor disappear into Malcolm's room and sighed. "I forgot…"
***
"The Ko is…or rather, they are…" Holtem paused and sighed. "They are part of the Dayohsi, what you might consider a third sex. Neither male nor female. The first one was created seven centuries ago from our own DNA and that of a neighbouring race. The man who made them, Ko*tic*Lec wanted to improve our people by introducing stronger genes."
"We have something similar in our history." Archer said.
"It is not uncommon. All creatures wish to better themselves."
"Often with tragic consequences." Archer said, and felt a rush of sadness. He had meant the Eugenics Wars, but the unexpected double meaning struck him. The feeling was for Malcolm.
"Indeed." Holtem nodded. "The Ko as they became known, were baser creatures, simplistic in comparison to us. They know only peace and sensation, anger and hatred are not part of their genetic make up. But in its place, they could feel joy and pleasure, something which we do not."
Archer frowned. "I don't understand. You mean you're like the Vulcan's?"
"No, we do not shut ourselves off from emotions. We Dayohsi know pleasure, captain, but it is more an intellectual sensation. The physical exists but is not…strong inside us."
"But it is for the Ko?"
"Yes. And for a long time my people feared them for this. Perhaps we were jealous of their ability to feel what most species take for granted, and we cannot experience." He took a deep breath. "They might have been destroyed had Ko*tic*Lec not discovered he and others could share in the Ko's sensations." Holtem looked down, ashamed. "For over a century, the Ko enjoyed popularity, a commodity to bought and sold…"
"Prostitutes." Archer murmured.
"Yes." Holtem's shame of his people actions was evident. "But like all living creatures, the Ko wished to be free. They wanted to chose who they shared the Hek*sic* with. In time, my people voted to free them and they have integrated themselves into our society. We are paler people without their wisdom and their joy."
"This Heksick? That's what happened to my officer?"
"The Hek*sic* is the way between Hek and Ko*sic*."
Archer frowned. "I don't understand."
And neither had Reed.
"It is the only description I can give."
Archer thought of Hoshi and wondered if she could decipher the meaning where the translator failed. But then, Phlox's statement had said all that needed to be said.
"But it's a sexual coupling?" Archer asked.
"At it's most basic, yes." Holtem struggled with the words. "It is…a physical joining but with sensation. It is…very beautiful."
"Malcolm didn't know that."
"And the Ko did not realise that." He sighed. "There's been no crime, captain. I can only apologise, on behalf of all the Ko and for the Council of Dayohsi."
"That's not good enough!"
"I know." Holtem's shoulders sagged. "And for that I am sorry too."
***
Phlox checked the bio-stitches and cleaned them, producing a tube of ointment for Reed to administer himself, instructing him to use it three times a day until he was healed. Malcolm nodded and accepted the medication, holding it between limp fingers as if it wasn't real.
Phlox frowned and continued talking, stressing the importance of not becoming constipated. He warned him quietly that if Reed hadn't had a bowel movement by the following night, they might have to consider a laxative. Malcolm looked uncomfortable at his candour, but he did or said nothing beyond a crisp and very military nod of his head.
When the doctor had finished his examination, Phlox sighed at the lack of response and bid the man good night. Malcolm returned the wishes and didn't watch him leave.
At the door, Phlox paused and looked back.
"You should not blame yourself." He said softly.
Reed nodded, but didn't answer.
***
Malcolm was sitting up in bed when Trip entered the bay after Phlox had left. The Lieutenant was staring out of the small window, not reacting to his arrival. A faint brown-pink tinge to the sky heralded the approaching dawn. It had been a long night.
"How ya feelin'?"
Malcolm looked over at Trip. "I'm fine, Commander."
"D'you…ah…d'you want me to get ya anythin'?"
"No, thank you."
"Sure you…um…don't wanna shower? Might make you feel better."
Malcolm didn't reply.
"I mean…that's what I heard…" Trip added, "ya know, when you're…when you've…ah…when you…ya know…" He trailed off helplessly.
Reed turned to look at him. "What would you know about it?" He demanded bitterly.
Trip started in surprise, the anger coming from nowhere it seemed. "I don't, Malcolm." He said calmly. "Look, its good advice, all right? You don't wanna take it, fine."
"I appreciate your concern, commander." His voice sounded like he was anything but. "But I'm fine."
"Yeah…yeah…" Trip sank down in the chair. The long night was about to get longer.
He didn't mean to fall asleep.
***
The door of the Ko's room in the Gamma Ko had been shut for a long time after the Ko had returned. For a while, distressed keening could be heard, the sound of a creature lost to grief. And then there was silence.
Then as dawn broke in the east, a thin trickle of blood dribbled from beneath the door.
***
It was half an hour later, when Trip began to snore softly that Malcolm felt it was safe to slip from the bed. He was stiff from lying so still to convince his friend he was sleeping. And he was sore inside, but he didn't want to think of that.
The idea of a shower had been on his mind for a long time as his skin smelt of the Ko's musk and felt gritty and soiled. But he was…almost embarrassed to take one in front of Trip. He didn't want anyone to know what he was doing. Irrational of course, but undeniable.
There was a small room at one end of the medical bay, with a large stone tank in the centre. Piping ran along the ceiling with a set of unmistakable holes in. When the door closed behind him, the tank immediately filled with steaming water. It was so large and so deep, Malcolm was sure he could swim in it if his hydrophobia would have let him. It was the first time a huge pool of water had looked so inviting.
He got in and his chest hitched involuntarily at being so completely and frighteningly surrounded by water. Then he winced at the sting down below, sharply taking away the panic of one thing with the memory of another. But it a faint shadow of the pain before.
It had hurt when the creature had…done what it had done. But it was a different pain, sharp and unforgiving. It had hurt in a way he never experienced before. During the course of this mission, he'd been shot, skewered, beaten… All were more physically painful, but yet none of it compared. That was simply painful…this was…
Pain.
Pain inside, where all of Phlox's remedies and ministrations and analgesics couldn't reach.
He began to shrub at his skin, cursing himself. He'd been so stupid, letting his guard down. What kind of armoury officer was he if he let himself be taken in? And by a quiet and weaker foe. How could he protect the ship when he'd been so stupid he couldn't protect himself?
The piping system above him spat out water, warm and harsh, pelting down. It splashed on his face, ran down his cheeks; it almost felt like tears.
But Malcolm did not cry.
***
Trip jolted awake at the sound of voices. He blinked blearily in the early morning light filling the medical unit. Archer and the Commandant marched in; both looked tired, as if they hadn't slept.
Trip guessed they probably hadn't.
"Where's Malcolm?" Archer asked.
Trip looked at the bed and was surprised to see it empty. Great, Tucker, you can't even baby-sit right…
The sound of running water caught his ears and he looked towards the small bathing room. He smiled to himself.
"Followin' some good advice."
Then his face hardened as he looked at the Commandant. "What the hell's he doing here?"
Holtem drew back his shoulders. "I wish to apologise to your Lieutenant."
"I wouldn't bother if I were you. Malcolm ain't feelin' too friendly just about now and I can't say as I blame him."
Holtem looked saddened. "The Ko meant no harm."
"Funny that, but plenty harm's been done!
"Trip!" Archer was tired and his patience was short.
"No, it is fine, captain." Holtem said. "You are concerned for your friend, I do understand that. But there has been no crime, commander. Your Malcolm Reed did not understand what would happen, but that does not make the Ko a…a…"
"Rapist?" Trip snapped the word out. "That's the term we're all dancin' around, isn't it?"
Both Holtem and Archer paled at the use of the word. There was silence.
"Actually, I'm fine." Malcolm's voice came from behind them. "Thank you for asking."
They all turned to the door of the bathing room. Reed stood there, wrapped in a big towel robe.
"Malcolm…" Archer began.
Reed walked into the room, brown hair stuck to his forehead, dripping slowly. "I'm fine." He repeated, as if by saying it often enough he might himself believe it.
The door opened and Telso*click* and two of the Council's guards entered.
"Telso*click*!" Holtem cried. "What is the meaning of this interruption?"
The aide looked momentarily shocked. "I apologise for not knocking but…" He drew himself up. "Commandant, I am the bearer of terrible news."
"Telso*click*!"
"The Ko, Commandant… It has…it has taken its own life!" His aide's face was white. "Centuries of its wisdom lost to us! And by its own hand!"
Holtem closed his eyes and whispered something to himself. A prayer or a curse…
He looked up, face pale. He already knew what was coming. "Why did you bring the guards from the Chambers?"
"On the orders of Second Commandant RoMar."
"No…" Holtem whispered, closing his eyes.
Telso*click* looked towards the bed, where Malcolm had sat back. "You are under arrest."
Trip immediately stood between them. "What the hell-"
"By our laws, sir, anyone who kills or assist in the killing of a Ko must be put to death."
To be continued…