When I first envisioned my Remus Lupin, it was before JKR wrote about his past on Pottermore so it won't follow his History as canon but it will not contradict the books, if possible. I have added bits of the Pottermore canon to the story, like his name and such, but that is it, and will post up more of his father in later chapters.

Chapter 4: November 19th, 1976, Hogwarts

Remus woke up extra early on September 1st, 1970. He was just hours away from attending the school his father went to, the very place he was told he would never go. His mother tried her best to isolate him as a child, for his own safety and the safety of the neighbouring children. But now he was going to live in a castle with hundreds of other students. The prospect of an actual social life loomed in the very near future. Dumbledore assured him that measures were taken to ensure that each and every student and staff member in the school would be protected from him at the school. He missed most of what Dumbledore would say due to the overwhelming excitement of the situation. He did remember however that Werewolves were not always liked or respected in the magical community.
He felt bad for leaving his mother though, she was a muggle, and worked very hard to incorporate her son's magical life with her own. Without the help of his father though, she struggled. He did not want to leave her completely alone. She gave up a lot of her social life when Remus was infected.
He took a few moments in his bedroom to look at a photo of his father, tall and proud, standing side by side with his friend Damocles; a fellow potioneer. He would be walking the same halls as his father, maybe even sleep in the same room. He was a Ravenclaw, clever and witty. His mother loved him beyond belief, and Remus sometimes felt as if she blamed Remus for his father's death. Remus often believed it.
Despite his early rise, his mother was up earlier, preparing breakfast and packing last minute things for the trip. She hugged him when he entered the kitchen, her eyes teary.
"I wish I could visit you at school." she whispered against his head.
"Me too, mum, but you won't be able to even see it. It's charmed."
"I have something for you." She smiled, pressing Remus into his chair at the table. There was a large fry in front of him but he was too curious to eat. "I was saving this for your Seventeenth… your father said it was traditional at Seventeen. But I think it would like it now, more than ever."
She handed him an old box, scuffed and faded but it was wrapped in a shiny new bow. He pushed the bow aside, and creaked open the box, revealing a watch. It wasn't new, but polished and clean. It featured a wolf baying at the full moon on the clock face. He turned over the watch in his hand, finding engravings on the back.

Remo Lupin
Pierre Lupin
Jean-Luc Lupin
Jonathan Lupin
Lyall Lupin
Remus Lupin

"It goes back quite some time… I suspect you could make the markings smaller by magic, if you ever have a son of your own…" her voice faded away, realising what she had said. They talked about his future, his likelihood of a family, of friends even. She was trying to prepare him for reality. It only hurt him more. He ran his finger over the name Remo, a variant of his own name, he guessed.
"Thanks, mum," he stood to hug her, squeezing her tightly she was such a small woman. Remus had already outgrown her, even though he didn't consider himself tall.
"Your father's family had an unnatural obsession with wolves. I suppose it's where they got their name… It's why your father researched werewolf related potions so much. He was incredibly passionate about finding a cure."
"Why? All of this happened after the bite…"
"He had a friend, some years back. One that couldn't handle it anymore."
"What happened to him?" Remus asked, sitting back down at the table. When his mother didn't answer, he knew the answer. He understood too, why somebody would do such a thing.
"The professor who came to help you shop for Hogwarts… eh…"
"Professor Burbage."
"Yes, lovely lady. She had it engraved for me when she brought you to Diagon Alley. What does she teach at Hogwarts?"
"Muggle studies," Remus chuckled. His mother gave a light laugh and reached out for the watch. She fastened it around her son's thin arm, but it was quite a bit too loose.
"I'm sure somebody can tighten it for you at school, love." She had a sadness in her eyes, but held back the tears well.
"Do you want me to go? I will stay if that is what you want."
"Of course I want you to go. It is where you belong. I just worry about you, Remmy, I am scared. You father would be so proud of you, love."
"I will be fine. I am ready for this, mum. I'm scare too but in a good way."
"I know you are. Just keep to yourself, love. Don't go making anybody suspicious. It won't do you any good to have people being nasty to you for what you are." She smoothed out her son's hair with a kiss as he began to pick at his food but his stomach was rolling. He couldn't wait to board the train, but what his mother said, what she had been saying for the past month, still rang in his ears. People will hate him for what he was.

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The idea of Remus taking Lily on a date which managed to remain in the castle was beyond comprehension. She had no idea what they would be doing. She has heard of boys bringing girls out on picnics or into the forest or some lonesome tower for alone time, but Remus didn't appear that cheesy or cliché. She was half expecting him to break her into the kitchens.

Remus was on her mind all too often as of late and it was keeping her up at night, and disturbing her school work. She had fancied him for some time but never thought of herself as bold enough to seduce him at the wedding. He looked very handsome in his suit and the alcohol made her feel absolutely invincible. The first time was rushed and awkward and made her ache for a while but it was during the second time, when they were more sober and collected, that she feel her body relax into his arms and enjoy the act. She curled into him to sleep afterwards, knowing that she would never regret what she did.

She remembered trying to keep a straight face the next morning in front of her parents. They had breakfast in the hotel restaurant, listening to them criticise the 'shocking behaviour' of a couple of Petunia's friends who weren't yet married but shared a hotel room. It made her stomach turn. If her parents knew of her and Remus, they would disown her. The shame she was feeling was only quenched when Remus took her hand under the table and gave it a tight squeezed.

Lily had woken up early on Friday morning, her thoughts on that night prevented her from falling back to sleep. She decided to start the day early and entered the cold bathrooms off the girls' dormitory. With a frown she leaned into the mirror, eyeing a black head emerging on her forehead. "Go away, you stupid thing." She cursed.

She heard Marlene enter – the only other living soul awake this time of the morning – but did not move her eyes from the tiny pinprick dot.

"Are you talking to yourself again?" her friend asked, her Welsh accent curving a smile onto Lily's lips. She loved Marlene's accent. It suited her in a very comely but unpretentious way.

"There is nothing wrong with that." Lily protested, with a smirk.

"No, in-fact Bedlam recommends it." Marlene teased, joining her ginger friend at the sink and started splashing water on her face. "You are up early. What is on your mind?"

"Nobody in particular. Just trying to figure out why boys are so annoying." Remus' secrecy over their date was pissing on her control-freak side of her personality. "And I'm trying to pop this black-head with my mind."

"They aren't all annoying. I'll set ye' up with Jeremy Mulligan in seventh year if you like. He's nice. He has asked about you." Jeremy was second cousins to Marlene and the object of Lily's affections back in third year. She used to blush if he was anywhere near her, to her own embarrassment.

"No you're alright. I don't see how blind dates can be in anyway helpful." Trying to make her forget about Jeremy.

"How would it be a blind date? You know Mulligan. Actually, you have given detention to Mulligan."

"All the more reason to decline your generous offer. Speaking of dates; I hear you're crushing Black's heart."

"He's being dramatic." Marlene asked casually, as she brushed her hair into a manageable pony-tail. "Besides, I don't want boyfriends. No point."

"Is your mum still pressing you to consider McLaggan?"

"Didn't I tell you? He's married. Eloped actually." Marlene laughed.

"How terrible." Lily rolled her eyes.

"Oh he was awful pompous. I don't mind really. Just give me a man who'll let me do my own thing and I'll be happy."

"I don't think that's the point. I think he's meant to do it for you," Lily said seriously but her voice dripping in the expectation of a laugh. Marlene smacked her arm.

"Stoppit you!" She giggled, unable to keep her chuckles down.

"Anyway, why don't you just give Sirius his date and be done with it."

"I just don't like him."

"You don't care if you like your future husband or not but you won't give Sirius a date because you don't like him. How does that work? Maybe your mum wants you to marry Sirius!"

"Hardly, not after he ran away to live with the Potters. Mother says he's too much of a radical. I don't like his reputation, anyway. Have you heard with Betty Power said about what they did last week?"

"He's not like that at all!" Lily found herself shocked that she was defending Sirius Black. However the night on the astronomy tower and her conversation with Remus changed how she saw him.

"I'm sorry?"

"I don't think he really behaves like that- Sleeping around I mean. Think about it. All the girls who claimed they shagged him are liars at the best of times."

"How do you know this?"

"Remus told me. Sirius Black is just somebody who wants a bit of love because he never got any love at home."

"Fleeting love he finds in broom cupboards."

"Yes but he doesn't shag them. How unhygienic would sex in a broom cupboard be?" Lily joked. Marlene reddened at the word sex, which confused Lily since shagging seemed to be acceptable.

"S'pose. Either way, I don't want a date with him."

"Suit yourself. Any plans for the weekend?"

"Homework mostly. And I've to write home to my mother telling her how extremely regular my womanly troubles are." Marlene frowned but laughed at the same time. With this Lily clamped her hand over her mouth and fell back into the sink, causing her to scream in pain as her lower back collided with two taps.

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"Are you sure I don't have any bruises?" Lily asked later that afternoon. She cornered Marlene in the ladies on the fifth floor and heaved up her robes for her friend to check her lower back.

"No, none. Now pull down your robes before someone comes in. Chins will wag. Who will see the blasted thing anyway?" Marlene scolded her, walking out of the stall as Lily adjusted her robes.

"Oh gosh, the gossip. Two Gryffindor's in a bathroom stall, one bearing her back! The shame!" Lily cried, linking Marlene's arm and walking out of the bathroom and towards the Charms classroom.

As she sat herself into her desk, she rubbed the base of her back before slinging her book out of her bag and on to the table.

"Bum sore, Evans? Someone's been on the ground too roughly." she heard Black whisper. Lily span around, seeing him grinning ear to ear. "I'm sure James here could rub it better." Lily burned bright red at this. She was never surprised to be jeered at by Sirius, but he mentioned her bum and that was unexpected.

"It's my back, and no thanks. I had an incident with a sink tap if you must know." She snapped back.

"I hope you had fun earning that injury. I am good at all kinds of healing. James is too, if you would prefer that."

"I'm gonna punch you in the throat, Black," she heard James grumble from behind Black. James never addressed his best friend by his surname, or talked so harshly to him. She tried to ignore what they were saying but she couldn't block it all out.

"Being shy today, Potter?" He smirked and turned to Remus with a wink. "How 'bout you, Remus, how are you good at massages? I'm sure she'd let you give it a try."

Sirius was suddenly flung backwards in his chair and was grappling at this throat. The sound of choking mad made Marlene and Lily spin in their seats to see the action. James had reached over his own desk and him Sirius by his tie from behind. Sirius's eyes were panicked, eyeing Remus and calling out to him in hoarse croaks. Lily curled her lips between her teeth to stop herself from laughing. With an angry sign, Marlene swished her wand, severing the tie, and James went toppling back into his seat once more and Sirius began to breathe again.

"Blimey, mate, what the hell are you trying to do?" Sirius snarled hoarsely, rubbing his throat.

"Keep your mouth shut, Black."

"Fuck, what did I do? I was only pushing her buttons."

"Stop being such a dick." Remus snapped at him as he regained control of his breathing.

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"Oi, Black." Marlene called over the noise of the Gryffindor Common-room.

"McKinnon. Thanks again for freeing me for the so-called best-friend that is Potter." Sirius dramatically bowed to her, a wicked grin on his face.

"You never thanked me the first time." She smirked, crossing her arms.

"I was choking. Sorry if I missed a breath."

"Anyway, I wanted to ask you something important."

"Go on." He nodded, leaning against a table.

"Whats your brother like?"

"Fucks sake, McKinnon, you could have just said no to me. You don't have to go dating my brother just to make a point."

"Oh that's not what it's about! Come here." Marlene dragged Sirius out of the common-room and up to the boy's empty dormitories. "Look, I just saw something... odd."

"Well if you saw my brother, than yeah, he is the something odd."

"No. I saw him down at the lake today, getting all cosy with Snape and Mulciber."

"They're in the same house, McKinnon."

"Snape is in our year, Mulciber in seventh. I highly doubt they were tutoring him. They saw Sally Madley, the head girl nearby they scarpered."

"Why do you care so much?"

"Because my mother has it in her head that your brother, or someone of equally pure bloody and pompous name, would make a good suitor for me and I am not marrying into a family of Dark Lord Supporters." Marlene finally cried, the weight of the secret lifted from her shoulders.

"Are you serious? Your mother is choosing your husband? You're sixteen! Do you even get a say in the matter, McKinnon?"

"Of course I do. Kind of. I have to make my mother happy. Over Christmas my mother is having a party with all her 'friends' and their sons. It's really her way of defining their level of wealth. I guess I will go for the least disgusting one."

"So there is more than one option?"

"Maybe, depends. The sons get a say as well. If they don't think I'm wife-material, they won't bother, I suppose."

"Glad I'm away from that shit." Sirius gave a half smile.

"Wish you weren't. It'd be so much easier marrying a friend."

"We are friends? And you'd marry me?"

"'Course we are. I saved your life. And I would like to marry somebody who thinks it is all as ridiculous as I do." She smiled.

"But you don't have one drink with me?"

"Sirius, I don't go on dates." Marlene smiled sympathetically. "I have to go. I haven't had dinner yet. Quidditch training tomorrow, yeah?"

"Yeah, at half five." Sirius called back, watching her go.

"I'll be there. Bye," she said cheerily.

A long, low whistle filled the air. Black whipped around to see Peter lying on his back on the bed.

"Tough blow, mate." the short boy consoled.

"Were you there the whole time?" Sirius asked; he was sure that the room was empty when he entered.

"I was looking for my eagle quill under the bed when you came in. Y'know, as Wormtail. Was she serious about marrying you?"

"Why the hell does she do that?" Sirius shouted. "She says things like that as if she has told me that is might rain today! Does she not realise what she is doing to me?"

"Want me to go find out?" Peter smirked. Sirius shivered at the thought of Peter sneaking into the girls' dorm in rat form. They had yet to test out the girls' stair case in animal form.

"No, I want you to go down to dinner and find my brother. Follow him back to the Slytherin common-room if you can."

"Why?" Peter sat up and rubbed his face. He was often used as the sneaky spy.

"Were you asleep under there? Did you hear what she said?"

"I heard, I heard." He moaned.

"Just do it. Listen to any conversations he might have with Mulciber or Snape."

"You owe me," Peter smiled, hopping off his bed and leaving the dorms.

"Yeah, yeah," Sirius agreed, as he sat down on his own bed. His little brother, the perfect little Black spawn, was a little shit. But he was his brother and he intended to help keep him out of this madness that is Voldemort's uprising.

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Lily and Remus finished up prefect rounds fifteen minutes early so they could start their date early. Remus had James's invisibility cloak ready under his cloak and threw it over them in the entrance hall.

"Where are we going, Remus?" she whispered, sliding her hand into his. They were halfway down the lawns of Hogwarts, heading towards the forbidden forest.

"I have something to show you… I want you to know exactly what I am." Remus bit his lip, sure he was making a mistake. While decided what they should do for their date, he came to the conclusion that he could not lead her on until she knew everything about him.

"You are scaring me a little," Lily half laughed.

"Wait here for a second." Remus pulled Lily to a stop, whipped out his wand and skilfully levitated a stick to prod the knot of the tree that immobilised the tree.

"That's how it's done! I tried using Immobilis on it once. It smacked me in the face." Lily giggled until Remus started pulling her towards it. "Wait, we are going in there? But that's-"

"You need to see it." Remus confirmed before hopping down into the tunnel and holding his hand out for Lily to follow him. They traced the tunnel, each step a second nature to Remus but Lily stumbled every now and again. Remus kept his arm wrapped tightly around her waist.

They finally came to the door leading to the Shrieking Shack. Remus creaked it open slowly, as if he was unsure the hinges would sustain high velocity. Lily reasoned in her head that it probably would, since the whole house was meant to support an adolescent werewolf twelve times a year.

"This place is creepier than I thought," Lily mused, as she walked down the hall. There was a layer of dust coating the furniture and mud tracked down the floors. She could see sections of the walls which seemed to have had the wall paper ripped by claws. She pressed her hand along one part of the wall, splinters pricking her fingers where five claw marks used to be.

"Do you remember any of this?" she asked, gesturing to the damage in the hallway.

"My clarity during the full moon is for another discussion, another day." Remus sighed. "But mostly, no."

"Oh." She ran her hand across the claw marks again and furrowed her brow. "Five."

"Five?"

"Five claws…"

"I've got five fingers. Five claws. Most people wouldn't get close enough to a werewolf, or a standard wolf and love to detail the difference." Remus spread his hand on top of Lily's yet it still did not stretch to the size of the claw marks. "I've transformed over a hundred times and things like that still scare me."

Lily looked up, surprised by his admission. She turned her hand around in his and squeezed it. "Let's leave." She suggested, the vibe of the shack getting to her bones.

"No. This way," Remus insisted, pulling her through a pair of large double-doors and into another room. It looked like it should be a living room come dining room, with its large hearth and dividing wide arch but it was bare of almost all furniture except for a torn up sofa, the cushions of which lay strewn and ripped apart on the floor and a few rugs, also shredded. It looked like the floor was once carpeted too, but that was ripped up. "This is it."

Remus took out his wand and flicked it at the gas lamp attached to the walls. It was only when the room was sufficiently lit did the chills seep right under Lily's skin. There were vast amount of rusty-red blood scattering the room, smeared on the sofa and walls and one particularly vast patch staining the floor. Lily gasped and covered her mouth with her free hand, the other gripped Remus's so tightly that her knuckled turned white. She had never imagined this. He knew he hurt himself each month but this was a horror show. It set in stone that this infection did exist within her friend. She turned to Remus and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"I'm so sorry…" she cried into his jumper.

"For what?" he asked, perplexed, trying to see her face but she kept it pressed to his chest.

"For having to do this alone. For having to do it at all. For you having to come here when you don't need to, just to show me." Her voice was so mumbled that he almost didn't understand. He almost let out that he was never alone, not anymore, but cause himself.

"I'm not- you don't have to be sorry." He changed his words quickly, hoping she didn't notice. "There is nothing that can be done."

She didn't notice. She had turned back towards the room, taking it all in again. Her stomach was doing summersaults and she felt like she would be sick any minute. "Remus, this is awful. I wish there was something I could do for you."

"There isn't. Do you want to leave?" he asked, holding out his hand. She nodded quickly and followed him from the room, out of the house and back into the tunnel.

"That was emotionally intense," Lily admitted as Remus pulled her out of the tunnel. He had reached around the propped the knot of the tree so it was statuesque for the time being.

"Do you understand why I showed you?" Remus asked, letting go of her hand and looking at her with an intense gaze.

"I'm sure I will when you tell me. Honestly, I'm a little frightened."

"Good. It's wise to be. I had to make you see what I truly am. I am a werewolf. Twenty-four seven, three sixty-five. Not just on the full moon. It affects me all the time. It takes charge of my emotions, my hormones and my mind at times. I try my best to suppress them but it makes the transformations worse. It's in my blood and my DNA. If I bite your lip too hard and break skin, there is no guarantee that it won't affect you. And that frightens me. I am afraid I will push you too much, it will push me too much." His voice raised a bit and he glanced to the castle, yet most of the students were asleep and they were still too far away for anyone to hear their conversation.

"Do you want to bite me when we are together?" Lily asked seriously, her frightened expression morphed to a curious one.

"A few times I did. I wanted to bite your neck and sink my nails into you. It was hard not to when we…"

"Maybe that's…. normal." Lily shrugged.

"Normal? Lily, this is far from normal!"

"You wouldn't be the first person to bite a girl in the throes of passion, Remus. Or want to grip them tightly."

"But how do I know? I have been this thing since I was seven. How can I tell the difference? It's the only way I will experience sex. I don't know how normal men feel."

"Have you talked to the lads? Maybe James or Sirius could give you some insight?" Lily suggested, looking at her feet. Remus only laughed at the suggestion.

"No. We don't… talk about that kind of thing. Well, I don't, neither does James."

"Oh…"

"Besides, it would involve telling them about us and I don't really want to, for now."

"Yes, all right. Look, I think you are overthinking it all. It was me who seduced you, but if you uncomfortable with it all. I will understand if you want to take a step back from me."

"No I- I really, really like you. And loved that it was you and nobody else. I think I just need to get my head around it all and find out what I can and can't do to you- with you." Remus flushed at his words, as did Lily. She struggled to meet his eye in embarrassment. Her hands found his again and she knitted their fingers together.

"Good," she muttered before pressing her lips to Remus's.

They walked back to the castle, without the invisibility cloak this time. Remus had assured her that he would hear anybody approach and she didn't argue with him. He had his arm around her shoulders as they walked, their feet in the same rhythm. When they reached the first landing of the Grand Staircase, they came eye-to-eye with a tabby cat, sitting as still as a statue. Apparently Remus's hearing didn't pick up on paws that light. Remus gulped loudly as he seized on the stop, and Lily looked perplexed.

"It's just a cat, Remus," Lily assured him. He nodded his agreement but he didn't cease to relax. He couldn't tear his eyes from the speckled markings squaring its eyes. He watched the cat watch them back and gave it a nervous nod which it seemed to return before it followed them all the way back to the Gryffindor common-room.

"Maybe it lives here." Lily mused and held the portrait open for it, even crouched down to try and coax it in but the cat did not indulge in the girl's efforts.

"Probably not. I'm sure she will be okay."

"She?" Lily asked, amused.

"Of course. It looks like a female cat." Remus smirked, nodding to the cat once more and closing the portrait hole. He was rather surprised that Lily didn't realise who the cat was. Students have been saying for years that McGonagoll was an animagus but few had seen her transform. She had used her cat form as an advantage hen accompanying Remus to the Shrieking Shack for the first few times, positive that he would have no threat. When he relayed this information to his friends after they found out, it sparked their interest in the arts of transfiguration and pushed them into a three year journey into becoming animagi themselves. Anyone who looked at the Register for Animagi would see her name, animal form and distinct markings detailed, but not many people would have such reason.

The common room was empty and Remus gave Lily a quick kiss goodbye before they parted ways.

In bed, Lily's mind was racing. She couldn't cope with everything she had witnessed. The house, the broken furniture, the dried in blood stains. It was all too much. She pulled open her drawer to retrieve a small purse, crept into the bathroom and quietly puffed away at a cigarette as she hung her torso out of a window. She knew sleep would not come easy to her tonight.

Cheers guys! Hope this chapter wasn't too boring. I am trying to add humour but that is my weak point.

Please let me know what you think.

Love and other menaces,

D D