Disclaimer. I do not own Divergent.
"Your brother wasn't very selfless. In fact, he liked to take and take." Natalie Prior says wistfully. "Caleb? Selfish?" Natalie shakes her head. "No, we never told you but your father and I had another child before you two. His name was Eric." AU—in which Tris is related to Dauntless leader, Eric. Eventual Four/Tris.
My trip to Amity is far more entertaining than Candor. I witness firsthand how Amity resolves tension and problems. By talking incessantly until they reach a conclusion. I don't understand how this resolves conflict, but Eric tells me this is their way and it works for them.
Speaking of Eric, not much has changed since we last spoke—when he told me we were, in fact, siblings. He is still the same Eric but sometimes I catch his stern expression softening, sometimes I see a nicer side of him than I've ever seen before.
I think he's still battling the idea of a family.
He likes to call me Beatrice when we're alone. I think it's to make up for the time lost. I don't complain because it makes us feel closer. It feels like I'm home with family back in Abnegation. When we're around other people, it's a different story. We stay distant, as always, and try to act as neutral as possible. We don't want any sort of news of us to break out. We don't know how people will react nor if they will be too accepting of everything—considering my mom was the one who told me all this and the conversation we had remains a secret, even to Tobias.
How would we explain living in separate families? Different factions?
I'm not sure how to tell Tobias this. I'm scared of his reaction to the truth, to me keeping secrets, nor will I know if he will be accepting of it. I hate keeping this secret from him, but I know Tobias and Eric do not get along. I don't know the extent of it, but I don't want to risk a growing relationship between Eric and I. Every time I bring up Tobias around Eric, (I try hard not to) I see a glint in Eric's eyes that screams dangerous. I don't know if Tobias feels that same way.
My thoughts get interrupted as the chatter from Amity gets louder, and I look up at Eric who stands beside me with arms crossed. He is still intimidating as ever in this crowd of Amity with their smiles, laughter, red and yellow clothes. I notice a few girls glance at him, look back to their friends, and giggle.
I laugh a little at this, and Eric looks at me with a questioning look but I just shrug with a small smile.
Gradually the room stands together, the chattering has stopped, and it's clear that they have made a decision.
Johanna Reyes, who is not necessarily their leader—Eric told me beforehand that Amity does not recognize a leader—but their spokesperson tells everyone the agreed upon decision. And that's that. The acceptance of the Amity faction is so startling. Everyone just nods their head and agrees with it.
"I still don't understand it," I mumble to Eric as Johanna makes her way over. Similar to Candor, I am given a tour of the compound.
When it is over, we are standing in the dining area where everyone eats. Johanna welcomes us to eat before our next trip to Erudite.
Eric accepts the offer, and I find myself seated at an empty table as Eric grabs some food. I keep my eyes down on the table so I don't attract as much attention, but I look up when someone sits beside me.
It's not Eric. It's Robert. Susan's brother, Robert, from Abnegation.
During the Choosing Ceremony I was too absorbed in my own thoughts to listen to what other people from my faction chose. Now I remember fleetingly that Robert had chosen Amity instead of Abnegation. Susan must have stayed in Abnegation.
Before I can stop my mouth from closing, Robert smiles and hugs me. I stiffen at the unexpected touch and forget that the Amity greet this way. Johanna Reyes didn't hug Eric or I, probably because she knew better than to initiate touch with Eric especially. I remember thinking that if I stayed in Abnegation, I would probably get married to Robert.
"Beatrice, it's good to see you." He looks at my black clothing, the tattoo that brings out my collarbone, the eyeliner that draws out my eyes. "Dauntless suits you."
I look at his red and yellow clothes, the smile on his face, and the warmth in his eyes. How easily he has adapted to Amity that he initiates touch. I can't think of what to say back, so I return the compliment.
"Amity suits you well too."
Before I can say much of anything else, there is a clatter of two trays hitting the table. I look up at Eric who all but glares at Robert.
Robert smiles anyway.
"Well, I better get going. I promised I'd play a game of cards with my friends. I just wanted to say hi."
I watch him leave the table to go sit at a table with some other people. They joke around, laughing, playfully nudging shoulders.
"Who's that?" Eric asks, after a bite of food.
"A friend," I say. "He's from Abnegation."
Eric keeps eating but looks at me to continue. It's a signal for me to keep going, for him to learn more about me. I continue, but there's a thought in the back of my mind that wants to learn more about him.
"He lived near us. He has a sister, Susan, who is still with Abnegation. I used to think that if I were to stay there in Abnegation, I would have gotten married to him."
I look back at Eric who slides my tray of food over to me. His expression is neutral.
"Eat," he says. "You're going to have a long day today since we'll be heading to Erudite right after this."
I have mixed feelings about heading to Erudite. I remember my last visit, going to seek Caleb and talking to Jeanine Matthews. Her calculated words and snobby attitude as if she knew everything, and I knew nothing.
I think about Tobias coming across confidential emails between Dauntless and Erudite, dangerous secrets that may be inside.
"Beatrice." Eric says calmly as we walk side by side to Erudite.
Instead of taking the train, I ask if we can walk. I don't tell him I need to get my thoughts together. The rush of the wind from the train and the speed makes me lose my thoughts. I lie saying I need fresh air.
"Yes?" I ask.
"When we get to Erudite, you'll be given a tour as always. Jeanine Matthews, who I am sure you've met before, will be conducting the tour for the most part. You need to be on your best behavior. She does not take unintelligent people lightly and will most likely try to tarnish your occupation as ambassador if she feels strongly about it."
Again, I am not sure if Eric is warning me or telling me I'm stupid. It really could go both ways with him.
He continues, "After the tour I have other business to conduct with her. During that time, you are …free to do whatever you please. Stay in the area, and we'll head back together."
I nod. I know Eric is telling me that I have free reign to visit Caleb if I want.
I don't know what to say to him if I do go seek him out again, so I shake the thought out of my head for now.
I am bracing myself to see Jeanine again when we head through Erudite headquarters. I find myself staring in clothes of blue with everyone wearing glasses that they probably don't even need.
I notice someone walking towards us quickly, but it's not Jeanine. It's a young man who looks out of breath, wearing blue slacks and a white shirt with thick-rimmed glasses.
"Hello, Jeanine had an important matter to attend to really quickly so she sent me to conduct this tour. My name is Alex. If you have questions during the tour, just ask. If not, follow me." He says.
I don't complain. I feel less pressure now that Jeanine is not conducting the tour, and I am hardly paying attention since I've been to Erudite before.
When the tour's over, Alex leaves us standing around for a moment. He's checking his watch as if he's waiting for something.
"Is there a reason why we're just standing here like ducks?" Eric says, irritated. I know he has a prior appointment and probably doesn't want to be late. Or he wants to leave here as soon as possible.
"She'll be here any second now," Alex murmurs.
I'm about to ask who but then I see her. Blonde hair, head held high, nose stuck in the air. It's Jeanine Matthews, strutting towards us with two lackeys walking a step behind her.
I didn't forget that Eric had a meeting, but I did forget that that entailed me being left alone.
I sneak a peek at Eric, and he looks less irritated but there's something else about his facial expression that seems off.
When Jeanine reaches us, she thanks Alex for his hospitality and sends him off. She then turns to me with a critical smile.
"Beatrice," she says with a tilt of her head, calculating. I think of gears churning in her head like a machine. Or robot. "I apologize, it's Tris, isn't it?"
I nod, with a fake smile. Her voice seems familiar to me but I can't figure out how. I've met her before, and I've talked to her before but something in the back of my mind tugs at my memories, waiting to spring forward.
"Hello." I say, and she then turns to Eric which I am grateful for. I can't hold a conversation with her right now. The tugging is more prominent. I think about her tight-lipped expression when I came to Erudite uninvited. Her cunning words trying to dig a secret out of me.
Her voice and tone which makes me feel lacking in intelligence.
"Eric, I trust you've been well."
"Jeanine." Eric says. His expression is straight-faced, and I see the Eric who shuts off his emotions.
"Come follow me." She says. "There's something we must discuss."
She turns without waiting for a response and begins the walk to what I assume will be her office. Eric hesitates and turns to me. He opens his mouth to say something but thinks twice about it and follows her.
I stand there, feeling inadequate. And then I just turn around and walk back to the train to go home.
I don't wait around, and I don't go see Caleb.
—
I lay in bed, awake, beside Tobias. We're not sleeping. Instead we enjoy each other's company and silence. It's not yet nightfall but I feel heavy with thoughts.
I think about my day, and I tell Tobias about my trip to Amity, witnessing how they communicate and solve problems. I explain my confusion and annoyance at how they shout and talk endlessly for an agreement. It's odd that Tobias and Eric both murmur the same thing to me about Amity: it's their way. It works for them.
He tells me about his day, which he spent mostly with Zeke and Uriah who is content with his leadership training but not sure if it is right for him. Tobias thinks he will change his mind eventually and discover his true passion. As much as I feel a little guilty for thinking it, I can't help but think that this will be good for Will.
Tobias tells me that he's heard through people that the Dauntless leaders have been impressed with Will's ability and potential. The other Dauntless leaders are impressed with Peter and his cunning, power-seeking, potential for the future of Dauntless. Which is also known as Dauntless' potential downfall to destruction and idealizing who is stronger. Less fearful.
I think about Peter who fears being second. Who despises those better than him. I would love to see his face if he discovered the secret to it all would be to be Divergent.
I think about how cowardly he was to try to throw me over the Chasm, to try to kill me because he felt threatened. Before I can stop myself, I'm lost in the memory, trying to escape it.
A flash of nothing, darkness. Heavy breathing. My hands feel clammy.
A flash before the chaos started. Two people talking. Hands grabbing at me. Me fighting but barely managing. Divergent.
My name being called.
Al's voice. My heart stopping. Feeling betrayed. Two voices—a male and female. Familiar voices. Eric.
A plot to end something. Kill someone. Multiple someones.
Divergents.
My name again.
"Tris!" I'm jolted to the side by a shake. "TRIS."
It's Tobias, sitting up straight next to me. He has a hand on my shoulder and a concerned look on his face.
"Are you okay? You froze up, and you started shaking."
I look down at my hands that are still shaking, and the thought of the revelation hitting me. I let out a deep breath, remembering that Tobias was saying my name. Not Eric.
"I—I forgot. But I remember now."
"What? What do you remember?"
"I need time. I need time to think, Tobias."
And I spring up from my spot on the bed, racing out the door, not looking back even as Tobias calls my name.
Out of all the places I run to, it's the place by the ferris wheel. I sit in one of the carts, looking at the field beyond the fence wondering what's out there.
The sun has long since started to go down, and I hope that Tobias isn't furious with me for running out. I feel weak and unable to deal with his anger if he explodes.
I think about what I discovered—remembered.
Before I was attacked over the Chasm, I overheard two voices. Those two voices were plotting to take down Divergents. The two voices were Jeanine… and Eric.
I go over my facts.
Eric does not know I am Divergent.
What does it change for him if he discovers I am Divergent?
Do I die? Or does he save me?
My mom told me not to tell anyone about being Divergent. Would she change her mind when she discovers who Eric is? Or would she strongly reinforce not to tell anyone?
I put my head in my hands to relieve myself of the oncoming headache.
I believe that, for now, I am safe. But it does not ease the tightness in my chest or lump in my throat.
"Beatrice." I hear a deep voice call out. I snap my head up, despite knowing that only one person calls me Beatrice here.
It's Eric. He stands just outside the cart, stares at me with my head in my hands, and then joins me to sit across from me in the tight space.
I don't know what to say, but if I say nothing, won't he suspect something is askew? How can I act normal when he's plotting to kill the group in which I belong.
I haven't moved much and as I'm about to break the silence and lift my head, I feel the slightest contact. A brush of his hand touching mine and then lifting my head up to look at him straight in the eye.
He doesn't look mad. Or angry. Instead there is an emotion reflected in his eyes that I can't recognize.
I'm surprised though. It's the first time he's initiated contact like this. Gentle, soothing contact as an older brother would to console his little sister.
His voice is rough when he speaks again.
"Did something happen back in Erudite?"
I shake my head, trying to look away. I feel so stupid and cowardly. I think about how un-Dauntless I am being. Eric's hands hold my head in place, forcing me to look straight in his eyes again. He looks irritated now.
"Did you talk to Caleb? I swear if he said something stupid, I'll go talk to him." He probably doesn't mean talk. He means threaten.
I realize then that Eric is not irritated at me, and I speak up.
"Nothing happened, Eric. I didn't go see Caleb. I just wanted to go home." I'm brutally honest. I want to go back home where home was safe and less dangerous, less stressful. Home was with my family, and even if I made the choice to stay in Abnegation back at the Choosing Ceremony, it would still have been broken up. Caleb would still have chosen Erudite, and I would have never met Eric—not like this with his brotherly affection against my cheek.
He drops his hand and clenches it in his lap.
"I thought something happened to you, Beatrice."
I swallow in response to that. Although he wouldn't admit it, he must have been looking for me and been worried.
He continues, "I know something happened, right before I left to speak with Jeanine."
At the name, I flinch in the slightest and catch the narrowing of his eyes.
"Eric," I say quietly before he can say another thing. "I just don't really want to talk about that or me right now."
He's quiet for a moment. I can see his Erudite roots showing as I imagine gears spinning rapidly in his brain to figure out this puzzle that he cannot solve or riddle he cannot answer.
"Okay," he says, acceptingly. "What do you want to talk about then?"
"You." I blurt out without thinking. Eric can tell I'm surprised by my own answer and chuckles. I smile meekly. "I know nothing about you. I want to know the years I missed as you grew up."
Eric composes himself for a moment, and I remember the time he told me we were siblings in his apartment. We drank, and I asked him how he could be so accepting. He said that story was for another time.
"The couple that took me in never told me of my true blood or heritage. They raised me as their own and never once told me that I wasn't actually theirs. I'll admit growing up in Erudite made me smart and knowledge hungry. I read all kinds of books: literature, medical, history, biology… It wasn't long before I realized our hair colors and eye colors didn't match." He starts.
"Mom told me that as a kid you loved to read." I smile. "Big, heavy textbooks." Talking about my mom makes me miss her.
He smiles back and continues, "I overhead a conversation between them after coming home from a study group. They were talking about how I looked nothing like them, and people would start to talk." The smile on his face has died down, and he looks irritated. His hands are fists in his lap, and I can see the veins bulging out.
"I ignored it—thought nothing of it—until my aunt, or well not my aunt, came to the house and said people were starting to speculate. I got mad and shouted. They were talking about me like I was some sort of big secret." He laughs harshly. "It's because I was. I was adopted from Abnegation parents. Out of all the factions, it was Abnegation. They practically tell me in school to not trust the Abnegation, how rotten they are. You can only imagine how I felt."
At this, I reach out and brush my hand against his clenched fists, willing him to relax. He does a tiny bit.
"The couple and aunt couldn't really do anything about it, but they said if I stayed in Erudite then I would live my whole life being talked about. They were trying to make me choose a different way, a different faction at the Choosing Ceremony to avoid it all. I was so mad and pissed that I had already made the decision. I chose Dauntless as soon as I found out my life was a lie." He pauses. "I don't regret it, and I have not talked to that couple since."
I don't miss how he never calls the couple his parents when they raised him and fed him in their house. Nor do I miss him saying he hasn't talked to the couple since. I don't miss him omitting the fact that he still speaks to the aunt. I briefly wonder who that aunt may be and what she has done for or to Eric that he still wants to talk to her.
I wrap my hand tighter against his fist.
"I'm your family now, Eric." I say, looking up at him. "You don't have to worry. I won't go anywhere if you don't."
He nods, looking down at our joined hands, and I wonder if this is an empty promise made after all I have remembered today.
Then I hear another voice calling out my name.
"Tris!" It's in the distance, and I cannot see who it is in the darkness. "Tris, is that you?"
It's Tobias.
I look at Eric in shock. Tobias cannot know about us. His reaction… I'm not prepared for it, nor do I know if it's a secret worth letting out. I can imagine Tobias' response saying: can you even trust him? It's faction before blood, not blood before faction. You're going to die before you know it. He's going to kill you.
We both jump up from the cart in the ferris wheel and get down. He does an oddly brotherly thing as he gets down first, turns around, puts his hands on my waist and helps me jump down, spinning me in a half circle in the process.
It's not something that I need help with. He knows this, but I can't help but giggle. This is not something Caleb ever did for me. In Abnegation, he was pretty serious. The last time we played together was so long ago…
It's a little surprising how much the dynamic between Eric and I have shifted. My brother, it puts a smile on my face as much as the person he can be makes me fearful.
We walk toward the direction of Tobias' voice. When we start to make out his figure, we jog to him.
"Hey," I smile apologetically. "Sorry for running off. There was just something on my mind, and I needed a quiet place to think."
It's a poor excuse, and I hope Tobias accepts it.
He says nothing, but his facial expression doesn't look happy as he turns toward Eric.
"Why are you with him?" He says.
I open my mouth to speak up, but Eric beats me to it.
"Well, I was making sure your little girlfriend didn't run into any trouble since she decided to run off from Erudite during my meeting."
I'm a little amazed at how easily Eric can turn this switch on and off. Cold, ruthless Eric emerges just as there was the kind, considerate Eric.
"Is this true?" Tobias asks me.
"Yes, it is." I turn to Eric. "I'm sorry again. I should have waited." I give Eric a little wave and an apologetic smile and walk towards Tobias. "I'll see you around."
As Tobias and I turn around to head back to the compound, Eric speaks up with his arms crossed.
"In two days we'll be going to Abnegation early in the morning." My heart skips a beat, and I think about seeing my parents again. Holding my mom close, never letting go. I whirl around to look at Eric to get a glimpse of what he's feeling. His expression doesn't betray any of his emotions.
"Brush up on your ambassador skills, Beatrice." He stresses ambassador, and I remember I will have to act professional. I nod, almost forgetting he just called me Beatrice in front of Tobias.
I smile at Eric again and join Tobias in his walk. Luckily, Tobias says nothing about the name slip. Maybe he didn't notice or wasn't even paying attention.
"It seems like he's been a bit nicer to you." He comments but says nothing else.
"He has." I nod, agreeing.
"Did you get to think about what you needed to think about?"
I nod again, although it's not necessarily true.
"I thought about it. There's nothing I can do right now."
I can't help but feel the atmosphere has gotten awkward, so I tug at Tobias' hand to come to a stop and he faces me.
"I'm really sorry for running out on you. I know more than anything, I always have you to go to."
He doesn't say anything, just opens up his arms and hugs me tightly.
"Thank you." I murmur into his chest, feeling grateful yet at the same time guilty.
I hate keeping secrets from him.
To be continued…
—
Author's note.
I'm sorry for the long wait! Classes have started up again, and I feel like I'm drowning. (And I've also read a couple different book series/trilogy as well.) I'm guilty. I made sure I was absolutely content with this chapter before posting.
So, to summarize this chapter, we get a glimpse of Eric's past as well as the relationship budding between Eric and Tris. Some turmoil and growing resentment from Tobias (as much as Tris has a life—let's remember that Tobias does too) which will be brought to light in the next couple chapters. Eric is also a bad guy. We can't forget that.
And once again, I'd like to thank you guys for the love and support! Don't forget to review and let me know what you think. I'll do my best to update soon. We're about to get into some of the good parts.