Author's Note: Thank you for everybody who's reading this! It really means a lot, especially those who took the time to review. Enjoy the chapter!
Born to Die, Chapter Four
"Oh, Buttercup, why did this happen to you?"
"Everyone's here, Jayje. We'll be here as soon as you wake up."
"I shouldn't have let you drive."
"Come on, Blondie. I knew you were a bad driver, but this?"
"They miss you, JJ. I don't know how much longer they're going to cope."
"It's all my fault, Jayje."
It was weird, strange, hearing all these voices, but not being able to respond. Occasionally, she would feel someone holding her hand, and she tried her hardest to squeeze back, to let them know that she was still here.
There was something else, something right at the back of her mind, refusing to make itself known. It was important, that much she knew, but she just couldn't remember what it was.
"Oh, my girl. Why won't you come back to us?"
Garcia. It must be her, who else would call her 'my girl'. JJ could feel her tight grip on her hand, as if she was trying to squeeze her into waking up.
There was only one thing for it. JJ squeezed her fingers together as hard as she could, hoping that Garcia would help her out of this mess.
"Oh God, JJ! She's waking up! Someone come quickly!
With a considerable amount of effort, JJ dragged her eyes open to meet those of a rather excited Penelope Garcia. The lights were blindingly bright and she had to shut them immediately.
"Am I that awful a sight?" Garcia joked, bringing a soft smile to JJ's face. She choked out a hoarse, "No" but immediately began a coughing fit that lasted for nearly a minute.
"Hush now, let it out." Garcia stroked her friend's uninjured hand and waited for the coughing to subside. "The doctor said it's normal; you've had that stupid tube stuck down your throat for two days."
JJ's eyes widened, and whispered. "Two days? What happened?"
"You mean you don't remember?"
"I... I remember the case. We got the plane back, I was quite tired. But the next thing I know I'm here."
Garcia gripped her hand tightly. "Oh, Sugar. You've been in a coma. You were in a car accident on your way home."
"Hell, Blondie. You knocked a freaking tree over!" JJ startled at the sudden voice from the door, but relaxed when she realised it was just Morgan. He came and sat in the other chair on the opposite side of her. "You had us worried, JJ."
JJ rested her eyes as she listened to her two friends chattering along, seemingly about nothing important. She racked her brain, thinking back to the last things she remembered.
The darkness. She worked backwards from that. The crash, the car, the headlights. Was it her fault? She can't have been drinking. So what was it that led her to this hospital bed?
A knock on the door shook JJ out of her utterly confused thoughts. "Room for one more?"
"Emily," JJ acknowledged her, bringing another bout of painful coughing. And she thought that simply breathing in and out was painful.
"God, you have no idea how good it is to see you." Emily nudged Morgan out of his chair so she could sit on it. He had not quite turned out to be the old school gentleman his mother had hoped he would be. "How are you doing?"
Deciding to leave out the blank space in her mind that was yet to be filled, she simply pulled a face that you could only describe as half smiling, and half grimacing.
"That good, huh?"
The three of them seemed to get the drift that she wasn't really quite up for talking, particularly nothing to do with her accident, so they made meaningless small talk for the next half hour, JJ raising a smile or contributing a whispered response every now and then.
Then all too soon, or not soon enough, JJ couldn't really decide, they got a text from Hotch telling them that they were needed back at work and he'd send round another of the gang to see the blonde. Morgan left with a fist bump on her uninjured wrist, and Emily with a kiss to the cheek and a promise she'd be back with Cheetos,but Garcia hung about a little longer. Thankfully, the profilers took the hint once more and went to grab the three of them a coffee before they left.
The younger blonde was quiet, sensing that her friend had something she needed to get off her chest. "You know, this will be the first time I've left the hospital."
JJ's expression changed immediately to one filled with gratitude, just as quickly as her eyes filled with tears to match those of the woman by her side. This same woman who had seemingly never left it. "Garcie-"
"No, Jayje. I don't want your thanks or approval or anything, that's why I chose a time when it pains you to talk. You helped me so much – after I was shot – this is just a small way for me to repay you." The tech genius saw the blonde open her mouth and shake her head, but Garcia stood up and placed a kiss on her best friend's forehead.
Even in her highly drugged up state, JJ didn't fail to notice the way that Penelope's arm kept twitching up and down. She sighed. "The doctor gave me strict orders not to hug you. And, I'm afraid I'm going to have to take my leave, Sugar Plum, otherwise you are in danger of breaking even more ribs." With that, and a kiss blown her way, Garcia departed and JJ was left on her own.
She couldn't believe that her friend had never left her. But, she did know that it wasn't for the sake of repaying a good deed. It came from the kindness of her heart.
There was still that emptiness though. Whatever happened between getting off that plane and smashing into that tree, with apparently enough force to completely knock the trunk in two, had to have been important.
JJ also couldn't shake the feeling that it was both terrible and sad. Terribly sad. There was something sombre about her mood, and she couldn't help but suspect that it had less to do with being in a coma for the last fourty eight hours than she had originally thought.
After wracking her brain for what felt like hours, although in reality it hadn't even amounted to one, JJ closed her eyes, welcoming any sleep she could get with open arms.
When it seemed as though she had finally been granted sleep, she was startled awake by the sound of someone crashing through the door to her room, as though they'd been pushed. She looked up to see Reid, who was, in turn, glaring accusatively at a figure hidden behind the door. She assumed the mystery man was the one who had forced Reid to come in, although she couldn't think of any reason why for the life of her.
"Spence?" She choked the words out, her voice still cracked and sore. It got his attention though.
"JJ-" He stopped, turning into that shy boy he had been when she met him. Staring down at his face, he said, "I'm sorry, I'll just let you rest."
He turned to leave, solemnly. JJ attempted to shout after him, telling him to get his sorry ass back here, but all that came out was a loud, painful coughing fit. Every cough she let out, felt like someone was stabbing through her ribs to get to her lungs. A concerned Spencer rushed to her side immediately.
"Do you need the doctor?" He placed his hand awkwardly across her back as she sat up a little, looking to ease the pain, although it had no effect. She shook her head and held up her hand, indicating for him to just wait a minute. She sipped some water, the cool liquid soothing her throat, and settling back into the surprisingly comfortable hospital bed.
"How are you?" The words were soft, to avoid another fit, but he heard.
Reid turned around, incredulously. "You've just woken up from a coma that you've been in for fourty nine hours, after a car crash that you've somehow miraculously survived, and you're asking me how I am?"
JJ just shrugged, not missing out on how he avoided the question. After minutes of silence, he finally relented.
"It's all my fault, Jayje." He buried his head in his hands, tears spilling out of his eyes. JJ reached out to him and pushed his hair gently out of his face.
"Hey, don't be silly. You weren't the one driving the car," she soothed him.
"But if I hadn't have just let you run away from me down the stairs then-"
"I'm fine, Spence."
"Let me drive you home, at least. You're tired, upset-"
"I said I'm fine, Reid."
She remembered being so angry, so sad, so overwhelmed with emotions. She remembered rejecting Reid and racing down the stairs, desperate to get home. She remembered the crash.
But why?
"Why was I so upset, Spence?" He looked up at his nickname, his hands wiping away the moisture from his face.
"Um, you were tired? And you took the news about Detective LaMontagne pretty hard."
"He's dead."
"How?"
"They said there was some sort of armed robbery taking place at a café called Fernandez, on Friday evening. They didn't seem to know he was a detective, but he made that clear when he tried to stop them. He was shot in the stomach, and died on the operating table, late Saturday night. I'm sorry."
"Will." JJ whispered it softly, and Spencer wouldn't have picked up on it if he wasn't so close.
"JJ?" Reid asked her, uneasily. He could have sworn Will was the name of the Detective who passed away.
But JJ was lost in her own world. A world of shame and pain. How could she have just forgotten about him?
"What day is it?" She asked, softly, the words barely leaving her lips. When she heard no reply, she asked again, her voice colder and a little more demanding. "What day, Spence?"
"Wednesday. Midday on Wednesday."
Four days, he'd been gone.
She should be crying right now. She should be screaming and punching and grieving.
But no. Instead she just sat there staring at a wall, like the pathetic woman she was.
She'd forgotten him.
You didn't have to be a profiler to see JJ's emotions change. "JJ?" Reid asked, concerned growing stronger in his voice. What had happened? As soon as he mentioned the death of Detective LaMontagne, her whole demeanour had completely changed. She'd gone from being open and comforting to being closed and harsh. This wasn't the JJ he knew.
"JJ?" He tried again but she just sat still. "Please?"
JJ heard his voice crack slightly but her expression didn't even falter.
She didn't understand what was happening to her, there was nothing going on in her mind. It was just blank and empty. She thought she was going to have to live like this forever until a knock came at her door.
"Ah, I see Dr. Reid here has made himself comfortable." The man she assumed to be her doctor walked in, spotting the genius seated in the chair, who was looking rather shifty.
JJ looked up, her face still emotionless. "You two know each other?"
"Let's just say that Dr. Reid was rather vocal of his opinions while you were out. Would you mind excusing us?"
Looking from the doctor to JJ, he nodded and exited, with a muttered, "I'll be back."
"So, Jennifer. How are you feeling?" The doctor didn't take a seat, and instead stood uneasily at the foot of her bed, distancing himself from her.
JJ, not knowing what to say, shrugged her shoulders. Will. She shuddered the thought away.
"You seem to be well on the road to recovery, granted you take it easy for the next two weeks."
JJ nodded, absentmindedly, waiting for him to get to the subject he was trying to approach.
Then it came.
"Miss Jareau, were you aware that you were pregnant?"
"There has never yet been a man in our history who led a life of ease whose name is worth remembering." - Theodore Roosevelt
See you soon, lovelies!