Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia, period.

A/N: Thanks again for the reviews everyone! =) It's very encouraging to know that someone's actually reading this and not completely hating it. Also sorry for the delay of this chapter, I've been really tired this weekend and couldn't find it in me to write until now. And sorry for how short it is too. x)

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The next day brought sunshine and cloudless skies and by midmorning the muddy fields had for the most part dried. Confident that Susana was in good hands for the afternoon and that no more problems would present themselves until he returned, Caspian bridled his horse and set off on a peaceful bareback ride through the Narnian countryside.

He guided his horse across meadows and through streams until they reached his destination - the lamppost.

When he started out he hadn't really planned where he was going, but the further he rode the clearer it had become, that this truly was where he had wanted to end up.

The tall iron post was just as he had seen it in his dream, but without the , he secured his horse and approached the lamppost.

It was cold when he touched it, but the iron quickly warmed under his hand. He looked around the clearing carefully, wondering if he could spot the portal that the Pevensies had entered Narnia through for the first time.

Before, the air had been still but now a soft breeze swirled around him, gently shaking the leaves on the trees.

"Impossible."

The voice was barely audible, a whisper. A memory?

Then the faint laughter of children floated on the breeze and he heard shrieks of playful delight. He could almost see them - in his minds eye he pictured the clearing covered in snow and all four children frolicking in it. And he smiled.

"You little liar."

The voice whispered in his ear and it sounded suspiciously like Peter's.

Caspian actually turned around, wondering if his dream was coming true and the High King had come back to haunt him, angry about his sister's death and hungry for revenge.

But there was no one in the clearing with him but his horse. The breeze died down suddenly, leaving Caspian standing by the post, wondering what exactly he had heard and why.

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Throughout the peaceful days that followed, Caspian rode as far has he could away from the castle and returned at nightfall. Sometimes he took Susana with him and only went as far as one of the meadows that he and Susan had enjoyed picnicking in, and it was there that Susana took her first wobbling steps.

Other times, plagued by memories, he would ride to the forest hollow that he had first met her in. On other occasions he would return to Aslan's How and gaze that the field, torn and collapsed by the tunnels they had dug underneath to defeat his uncle's army.

He never grew weary of visiting and revisiting those places, no matter how many painful memories they brought back.

However, the more he remembered the more nightmares he began to have until he simply did not go to bed. His nights were spent in front of the hearth, wrapped in his thoughts or in the stable with his horse, polishing his armor and saddle or simply sitting and being with the animals.

Yet he was so afraid.

Afraid that he was forgetting her, afraid that someday he just might forget her altogether and fall in love again.

Afraid to trust.

One night he dozed off and instantly began dreaming that she was there in front of him, but always turning away. He called out to her and she laughed and ran farther, teasing him to come catch her. Eventually he did but when he took her in his arms and looked at her, she had no face.

He woke in a sweat, terrified and as soon as it came to be a decent hour he sought out Doctor Cornelius.

"How would one...take measures," he asked haltingly, "To improve their memory?"

The old doctor looked at him queerly. "Improve? My dear king, you are certainly too young to be concerned about your memory. I do not understand what you are worried about."

Caspian leaned one hand on the doctor's desk. "I don't want to forget her," he said in a barely audible voice. "I can't. I won't."

Understanding, sadness crossed the doctor's face. "Ah, Sire, we shall never forget our dear queen."

"What can I do?" Caspian asked to no one in particular. "I never should have let her stay. She would have been better off leaving with the rest of them, she would still be alive!"

Silence.

Then regretting his outburst, he shook his head. "I am sorry. I did not mean to bother you."

"My dear boy," the doctor said, as if he were the teacher again and Caspian his student, "Mourning is alright for a while. But there comes a time when we need to let go of the past and look to the future. Spend more time here rather than going off on your rides all day, watch your daughter grow, be a king again. Narnia needs you even in peaceful times."

Mutely, Caspian nodded and left the room.

He went to the nursery and found Susana playing with Rachelle.

Picking up his daughter and tickling her a little, he turned to the maid. "You can be relieved for the day," he told her. "I think I can manage a one-year old fine." Then he winced at how sharp his words sounded. "I mean...you deserve a break. Thank you."

Rachelle smiled and dropped a curtsy and was gone.

"Dada," Susana said in her soft baby's voice and reached up to touch his face.

Surprised, Caspian smiled at how good that sounded. "Yes," he said, "Dada. Can you say horsie?"

She giggled. "Ho-see."

Her blue eyes sparkled and Caspian knew that when she was older she would look much like Susan.

Caspian set her down and right away she ran to what seemed to be her favorite toy - a beautifully carved wooden rocking horse.

"Ride! Ride!" she squeaked excitedly and climbed into the saddle.

Smiling, the king made the horse rock by resting one of his feet on a rocker and raising and lowering it. Susana laughed aloud in delight.

For hours, they played with the various toys scattered about the room and when the little girl grew tired, Caspian read a children's book of Narnian history to her until she nodded off to sleep - whether bored by his reading or simply exhausted, he was not sure.

So he carried her to his quarters and settled her gently in her cradle with a final kiss goodnight.

Hoping that maybe he too would find sleep, he burrowed under his blankets. And sleep he did.

Until he was jerked out of his sleep, chased by an invisible enemy that roared from a deep black void.

He shook his head at himself, disgusted. When would he finally start living again? He longed for the days before he had become king, those carefree simple days and the peaceful nights. Where were they? Had they vanished altogether, never to be seen again?

If only Susan were here, surely then everything could be alright. He closed his eyes sadly.