It was a weird sensation, foreign. I had to run my fingers over everything, just to let the touch reassure me it was all there, simply, truly. The house was old, empty, and much too large for just the two of us to occupy. Far larger than I was use to anyway. All the motels, apartments, and rentals we ever staid at were a one size fit all. Always a one bedroom/living-room/kitchen with a rundown bathroom and usually broken shower I'd spend two years overcoming claustrophobia in, idling my days away in a confined space with him. But it was different now. This place, reminding me in so many ways of a cabin, had a completely different feel. It was ours, mine. It was a strange sensation that filled me at that thought. I owned something with roots, planted in one spot. It would never be uprooted and replanted again.

Till that moment, I had always believed that silly saying: Home is where the Heart is; I was wrong. So very wrong. Convincing myself that anywhere where I was with my heart, Appolyon, would be enough for me was merely wishful thinking. It was different now. I had a place to call my own, with him, forever. A Sunday school Bible verse filled my head. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. I hoarded all my treasures and set them on a place with roots, a place of consistency. Creatures of habit need something steady so they can make their new tendencies habitual.

Heart is where your Home is.

There were two bedrooms (only one obviously needed), one bathroom, a full sized living-room, a kitchen, a study, and an up and downstairs, all of which was completely empty with the acceptation of the bedroom. Appolyon, once more, somehow miraculously arranged for a bed to be left behind and, before I was done gaping in shock, had all my things in the closet and bathroom precisely the way I liked them.

Know it all.

My fingers trailed down the railing, keeping a steady watch on my feet as I placed one after the other onto the lower step. Being the klutz that I was, I didn't want to risk it. That was silly. Even my mind, in partial denial as it was, knew deep inside I'd find a way to take a spill. And right on cue, I tripped over that ever so traitorous air and stumbled over the last few steps, barely catching myself on the railing right before smacking onto the hardwood floor. I gasped in shock and shot my gaze up the stairs in suspense.

I sighed in relief. I half expected to see Appolyon standing up there, chuckling happily to himself. He loved how I tripped over everything and nothing in particular. He said it was merely from the fact that he'd always liked damsels in distress, knowing I filled that role perfectly, and that my lack of balance was endearing. I think it stirred from pure amusement of how absolutely pathetic humans can truly be.

Either way, I was glad he wasn't there to see it.

With a single, carefully calculated stride, I was in the barren kitchen. No table, no chairs, no dishes, no food; I was sure wherever or however far Appolyon was, he could still hear my stomach grumble. Whenever I got hungry, I'd sarcastically complain of low blood sugar. Our little inside joke. What an utterly ridiculous concept. I would have laughed inwardly if my growling wouldn't have drowned it out anyway. I was hungry, nevertheless. Thoughtlessly, I went to open one of the cupboards, like when you go and stare into your refrigerator knowing exactly what you'll find inside of it: nothing. And yet to my surprise, it was full… of seemingly new human food. It was my stomach that had urged me on, otherwise I might have just stood there in shock all day, staring at the filled cabinet. Obviously sometime in the night he had wandered out to get me food.

I smiled, brimming both inwardly and outwardly with mirth, realizing he only knew how to buy me snacks. I grabbed a box of cookies and took a comfortable squat on the hardwood floor. My hearing had grown acute by living with him, but still nowhere as perfect as his. It was only then I heard an impossibly inaudible sound on the top of the stairs and glanced up, cookie still halfway in my mouth.

Appolyon was leaning casually against the wall, grinning smugly as he watched me. He was too obviously proud of himself that he even remembered that his human pet had to be fed. I'm sure if anyone else could see him, they'd expect him to hug himself and give himself his own little pat on the back. I would've loved to spoil his impish smile by stating he'd only managed to get me junk food, but I was as much in love with that dazzling smile as I was with him.

I smiled back, forgetting how ridiculously dorky I had to appear with a chocolate chip cookie half way in my mouth. He chuckled melodiously in response, a deep, musical, sound that echoed and bounced off every empty wall, giving in to the illusion that it resounded from everywhere at once. I savored the sound like one savors a taste, tilting my head sillily to focus more on the perfect Roman arch his upturned mouth always formed.

"Breakfast time for the human," he asked just loud enough for my still human ears to pick up. "So, did I do good?"

I swallowed the cookie, forgetting how to chew properly first. I ignored the discomfort as the hard chunk passed roughly through my throat, joking lightly, "Well, with all these snacks, I won't have to worry about low blood sugar, now will I?"

It took a good moment to realize he had used his blinding speed to move into the kitchen, leaning ever so nonchalantly against the vacant counter. Even if my ears had adjusted a little, my eyes would never get used to that. His voice was a playful purring in reply, "You never did."

"Then is this some sort of hint? I've heard of boyfriends that bought their girls some weight-loss shakes as a subtle hint that they're fat. So are you trying to tell me I'm not sweet enough for your taste?"

It was too easy for him to be himself around me. In the beginning, he use to be a little more cautious, at the very least moving slow enough for me to see the change. Now he just instantaneously materialized behind me as if he'd been there all along, pulling me into those perfect arms and deeper against him. His skin was hard, cool, but it was more the shock of being so close to him that sent my heart sputtering. His smile deepened. I could tell by his embrace, simply by the feel of the way he held me in those stone carved arms. We both knew he was listening to the inconstant rhythm of my heart.

"You're too sweet," he murmured dreamily into the hollow of my ear, and it was hard to keep my thoughts straight enough to note the implied double meaning. "I'm a little worried with what will happen today when you're surrounded by other people, humans, your age. I'm not sure what I'd do if someone were to try to steal you away." He was breathing in my hair, and that was distraction enough not to edit my words but say the first thing that came to mind.

"You'd kill them."

We both knew it was true, but all the same I shouldn't have said it. It was a constant reminder of his, like everything else, too quick changing temper. I would have been flattered if I had dared to think it was because he was so deeply in love with me, but I knew better than that. He was merely possessive, like his father, and didn't like people touching his things. His mother and I held at least that similarity, we were not permitted by those we loved to enter into society or to have friends.

I could relate to her, I always told myself. I mean, it was longer for her. I only had two years without any mortal company or human interaction. Appolyon didn't like me going out alone, just in case he'd say, and it was not to be debated. And on those rare occasions he'd take me, I was far too distracted with him to pay attention to anyone else. No one else, next to this pagan god, was of true consequence.

School would be interesting at least in that respect. To see his reaction, and mine.

Then, it clicked with me. "Wait, I'm going to school today?"

He nodded his head behind me and made a quiet sound that resembled a 'mm-hmm.' I suddenly pulled out of his arms, turning to face him with a serious expression. I didn't have time to get distracted with his beauty. I felt like a condemned man walking to his execution. My voice was pitiful to my own ears, terrified by such an ordinary subject. "Like this morning today?!"

He was still smiling, but he managed to roll his eyes as if that was childishly obvious. I could feel my heart skip a beat, but not for the usual reason. Knowing this probably better than even me, he was all at once comforting, if not a bit condescendingly mocking. "It'll be fine, Jules. You'll see. Besides, we have a few more hours. It's only four fifty-six."

Stupid rain.

The pretty curtain, made by thousands of drops of water I had admired just a while before, drawn across the sky made it impossible for me to tell what time it was. Back in Southern California, it actually had a sun to rise, even if it did rise a bit too early for my taste. Here, it seemed I'd actually have to buy a watch to tell time, with the sky all wrapped up in dark clouds equally throughout the day. Crap, did I have enough money to buy a watch? Did I have any money? I think I had a quarter in one of my pants' pocket…

Perfectly timed to pull me out of my rapid moving reverie, Appolyon's ice cool lips were set presently against mine. That was enough to stop any form of coherent brain operation. He pulled back slightly, just enough to get a look at my face, his eyes calculating. It took a minute for my breathing to calm and become normal again, because it took exactly one minute for me to realize my breathing was wrong at all. It was hard not to react to him like that, to forget how to function properly but just simply be completely mesmerized.

He was thinking hard about something. It was obvious by his distant expression . . . and the fact that he didn't realize his marble fingers were digging a tad bit too deeply into my arms. At least up here in the cold, I'd have an excuse to wear long sleeves all the time. Even around our old apartments I'd never wear a tank top that'd revealed the tender, discolored flesh. I didn't want to have to lie to him, but I knew if he ever saw I would. So I tried my best not to wince or think how bad the resulting bruises might be. An inner voice mocked me. For someone who frequently reminded me how fragile we humans were, he was so very forgetful himself.

I waited patiently and watched as his eyes flickered with conviction; he had finally made up his mind about whatever he had been deliberating on.

"Because," he began softly, releasing the iron grip on my arms to cup my face nearer his. "Because we have so much time on our hands, I think I would like to try something."

If the scent of his breath blowing in my face didn't make my head whirl, his next kiss sure did. It completed the job of desensitizing me perfectly and the moment's clear headedness evaporated as I went into a complete mental stupor. As he threw to the wind the precautions he must have taken before, for he'd never kissed me like this, I could only recall my bare human instincts: Make it last longer. I pressed back, and I'm sure I could feel his lips turn up in that instant into a smug expression. But then his whole focus returned, and before my jumbled mind could grasp anything, I felt the frozen rigidness even through our clothes of his marble body pressed far too close for comfort against mine.\

And then I was on the floor, lying breathlessly on the much warmer floor boards. My eyes flashed open in response to see him hovering, his arms spread wide in an arch over me. His eyes were measuring my expression and I could see he was deliberating again.

And I finally realized what he wanted.

"Apollo, please. . ."

I should've known my pleading would have only made him more determined. His eyes were firm now and he could probably hear my jagged breathing and my disjointed heartbeat. Only now it was from a different emotion; fear. His voice was softer, as if he were asking my permission. It was a lie for we both knew he'd now long made up his mind on the subject. "Don't be afraid of me, Juliana. I promise not hurt you. You know I would never, don't you? I will be very careful, extremely gentle, I promise. . ."

There was no believing that sweet lie. After all the unintentional bruising, I'd been well aware of what he thought was careful. But that wasn't what scared me. Pain is something I could forget, or at least push to the farthest recesses of my mind. I could forgive Appolyon any injury, intentional or not, because love is irrational. My love is, anyway. What scared me was, unlike feeding him my blood, there was no loophole, no indirect way to avoid the conviction that'd follow this from my giant leather bound Rule Book, as Appolyon deemed fit to call it. Even if there was, I knew I wasn't ready. I was still frightened, but I had to be careful. I had to try and blot out his image so I could think clearly, to form a proper response that might not upset him or push him too far over the edge.

"Appolyon," I tried out, testing it out slowly. "Apollo, you understand, don't you? You can't do it. I mean, what if… what if-"

"I loose control?" He was studying me now, deeply. He leaned down closer, breathing directly on my cheek. "Don't worry about that. I thought it through. I should be fine. I have tasted your blood before; I've had it so often it should be no big deal. Besides, I was just fed yesterday. I'm use to your scent, the smell of your blood, so I shouldn't loose control."

He leaned down to kiss me and I knew if I let him now all else would fail. My will would crumble to dust and my senses scatter to the winds. I knew already I'd sacrifice everything, my life and beliefs, just for that impish smile, to see that perfect arch in the right hand corner of his mouth. So I turned my head away, unable to face him. He pulled back for a second, as if in shock, which lessened the concentration of his succulent breath. But he came back down to plant his lips over my ear, brushing the strands of hair draping over it. He was nearly snarling.

"It's him again, isn't it? He's keeping you away from me. He selfishly demands all of you, your purity. This God of yours. . ."

No.

Only you. I have no other god, only you. . .

I so desperately wanted to say that. The words dangled dangerously from the tip of my tongue, dancing behind my lips. But I couldn't say it. I could never say it, to either of them. It'd be a lie. So I never claimed that either could have all of me, because we all knew it wasn't true. One was my Lord and Savior while the other was my heathen god. Adonai created the universe while Appolyon made up my world. I knew I couldn't serve two masters, but I had become a blasphemer, a heretic. I wanted to keep them both. I hated it.

Things were always set before me that I couldn't have.

Taking my silence and refusal to meet his gaze as confirmation, he pulled back and vanished from the kitchen. Lying on the floor, I stifled the heart wrenching sob that was tearing at my soul.