Hey guys, i'm back with a new chapter, i haven't been able to write for more than 2 weeks due to personal issues but it's all good now. thank you guys so much for the reviews, hope you'll enjoy this chapter. i'll be looking forward to all upcoming critics & reviews, thanks.

Wednesday, November 20th. 11:30 pm. At the Bar.

Amanda sitting next to Olivia was extremely confused & dubious, she had a tremendous envy to get that heavy weight out of her chest, to pour her heart out, to break the silence but she couldn't. It was too much of a burden to be confessed without facing any consequences, even though she knew she could trust Liv but still, her emotional injuries weren't healed, and she never believed that time could heal them anyway. Her dark thoughts tormented her too much to let her old, but still fresh bleeding wounds, turn into old scars. Amanda Rollins was too damaged on the inside to let anyone in, though she always reflected an image of a strong and confident woman, but that was just a shell. All she did for the past 3 years that she'd been working at SVU was rejecting anyone who tried to reach out to her & truly cared for her.

"... It was back when i was working in Atlanta..." Amanda finally said, breaking her silence without making any eye contact with Olivia.

Olivia kept looking intensely at Amanda, not wanting to interrupt her in her confession.

"...Some guy i knew...on the job..." Amanda said, while trying hard not to show her shaky voice, in vain.

"... It wasn't worth pursuing..." Amanda said with difficulties, while tears were coming down her face.

"Why not?" Said Liv, gently.

"...He had power... and i didn't. ... Even if i told... nobody would've ever believed me..." Sighed Amanda while wipping out the tears off her face.

Olivia didn't want to push Amanda any further but she still wanted to figure out what exactly happened back then, she compassionately put her hand over Amanda's shoulder.

"What happened?" Said Olivia, apprehending Amanda's reaction.

"I...i'm not feeling well Olivia, i need some air ..." Amanda Stood up, gasping for air.

"Okay calm down... let me walk you out ... just take it easy... it's gonna be alright" Olivia said, while putting twenty box over the counter, then she held Amanda by her shoulder, leading her outside the bar.

Amanda leaned against the wall while Olivia was standing in front of her, grabbing her from her shoulders.

"Here, look at me Amanda... take it easy ... you're just hyperventilating... take a deep breath..."Olivia said, trying to help Amanda to get her to calm down.

Amanda started calming down after five long minutes with Olivia standing by her side.

"Im sorry Amanda... i shouldn't have...it's my fault..." Apologized Olivia, feeling guilty.

"...It's okay... i'm... i'm okay..." Muttered Amanda, while taking short breaths.

"I can't let you go home like this on your own ..." Said Olivia worried.

"...Don't worry Liv... i'm okay" Mumbled Amanda.

"..No you're not, sweety. How about you sleep over for tonight?" Suggested Olivia, genuinely worried.

Amanda still feeling shaked up from the panic attack she just suffered in the bar, didn't want to go to her empty apartment. She didn't want to be left alone with her dark thoughts and her demons haunting her endlessly.

"...I don't want to be a burden ..." Quietly said Amanda.

"Don't be silly Amanda, you're always welcome in my place" Said Olivia, smiling.

Olivia walked Amanda to the car then they both drove to Liv's apartment.

...

Thursday, November 21st. 12:00 am. Olivia's apartment.

Olivia arrived at her place with Amanda, after they penetrated the house, Olivia offered Amanda to make some her tea while leading her to the couch.

"Here...make yourself comfortable... i'm gonna get the tea ... if you need anything don't hesitate, okay?" Said Olivia with concern.

Amanda nodded silently then added, forcing a smile "It's okay... thank you".

Olivia went to the kitchen and proceeded to make some tea, and after it was ready, she headed back to the living room offering a cup of tea to Amanda with some biscuits.

"Here, drink this, it's gonna make you feel better... this is camomille tea" Olivia said while handing her the hot cup.

Amanda held the cup, feeling its warmth between her cold hands then she said after taking a sip " ... i'm sorry Olivia...".

Liv replied with surprise "Sorry? about what? i'm the one who should apologize for pushing you too hard!".

Amanda kept looking away without saying anything.

Olivia added after a long pause " Listen Amanda, you really need help with this... i want to help you get through it ...you need closure...".

"I...i know..." Replied Amanda in despair.

Noticing how Amanda was still febrile, Olivia stood and said "we'll talk about this tomorrow okay? you need to get some sleep ... you take my room and i'll sleep on the couch...".

"what? no Liv, it's okay, the couch is fine for me, i promise!" Said Amanda feeling uncomfortable.

"Oh i wasn't asking! it's an order, detective " Smirked Liv.

Amanda smiled back and said " But really ... you don't have to! ".

"i insist, Amanda " Replied Olivia.

Olivia took the tea cups back to the kitchen then headed to her bedroom to prepare the bed for Amanda, then she picked a blanket out of closet and headed back to the living room.

"It's getting late, you should probably go get some rest, you can find some pajamas on the top drawer... suit yourself" Said Olivia.

"Alright..." Replied Amanda, then while heading to the bedroom, she stopped, looking back at Liv and added "Hey... Thank you...".

"Don't mention it" Liv replied back smiling.

Olivia tucked herself in the couch and couldn't fall asleep, she was worried about Amanda, she didn't know what kind of approach she should use with her. She wasn't sure if Amanda really trusted her or not. It was the first time Olivia didn't know how to handle a victim suffering from a post traumatic stress disorder. Maybe because she didn't consider Amanda as any other victim but she considered her more as a friend, and that's what made it different. Olivia was emotionally involved and it affected her professional judgment.

...

Thursday, November 21st. 07:00 am. Olivia's apartment.

Amanda was first to wake up, she had a restless night sleep, so instead of reminiscing her thoughts silently, she decided to make herself useful and prepare breakfast as a thank you for Olivia.

"Morning" Said Liv, slowly waking up.

"Oh sorry i woke you up" Apologized Amanda.

"It's actually the nice smell of coffee and pancakes that woke me up, so it's perfectly okay" Smiled Olivia while heading to the kitchen counter.

"Oh good" Replied Amanda, smiling back.

"so, how did you sleep?" Asked Olivia concerned.

"i prefer not to talk about it, if you don't mind" Replied Amanda sharply.

"I'm sorry..." Said Olivia, feeling uncomfortable.

"it's okay, it's not your fault" Replied Amanda.

Olivia and Amanda proceeded to take their breakfast in silence. After they were done, Olivia started to clean up the kitchen counter.

"These pancakes were delicious! you're a real chef" Smirked Olivia.

Amanda smirked back "Thanks" then added " i think i'm gonna head home to get ready for work".

"Amanda, i don't think it's a good idea, maybe you should take a day off or two?" Replied Olivia.

"No Liv, don't ... please , i can't stay home alone , it will do me no good, i promise ... i feel better when i'm at work, i feel useful, besides we have to interrogate Sam Robins and i think she'll be more comfortable with two women talking to her instead of Fin & Nick ... please " stuttered Amanda.

"Okay! calm down!" Said Liv then added " Just promise me one thing, will you?".

"What?" Asked Amanda, surprised.

"If you have these flashbacks again or any anxiety attack during work, i'd want you to come see me in my office. Don't you think for a second that you are on your own, okay? i'm here for you, my door will always be open" Explained Olivia.

"I'll make sure to remember that... thanks" Replied Amanda smiling.

Amanda headed back to the bedroom to get dressed then while leaving Liv's apartment she said " i'll be quick".

"it's okay Amanda , meet me up down the building around 8:30am and we'll head to Sam Robins' apartment" Clarified Olivia.

"Got it" Amanda Replied.

Amanda left Liv's apartment heading to the car, then she drove to her place to take a quick shower & change clothes. After she was ready, she left her building while sinking into her thoughts again, thinking about how Olivia was being helpful and nice to her, except that she couldn't help herself but constantly wonder if Olivia was being genuine with her? or she was just handling her as she would've handled any another victim dealing with PTSD?
Amanda had big trust issues and was emotionally unstable, she didn't know what to feel or think anymore.

...

Thursday, November 21st. 08:30 am. Olivia's building.

Amanda just parked the car in front of Liv's building then she proceeded to call her on the phone, but before she could say anything, Liv interrupted her "I'll be right there".

"Alright" Replied Amanda, then hung up the phone.

Few minutes later, Liv appeared on the front porch then she climbed inside the car, and said "Shall we?".

"Here we go" Replied Amanda smiling.