Aftermath Chapter 4
Soon Leia found herself in the hanger bay, which was eerily quiet. Everyone was at the party. Celebrating. Celebrating the great victory against the Empire. But hadn't the Empire taken more from her than the Rebels had taken from them? There were no lakes and seas on the Death Star, glistening with promise. There were no families, no snow-capped mountains. Her memories surrounded her now, sinking her deeper into depression. Her family was gone. Her beloved father…. And wasn't it her fault? Had she not been captured, surely they would not have felt the need to demonstrate their weapon on Alderaan.
She could still see it in her mind's eye, couldn't erase the image of her home planet being blown out of the starry sky in a moment, becoming nothing more than an asteroid field. Her hands shook. It's my fault, she thought again. My people, my family, gone.
She walked slowly over to a door that led outside. She could see the jungle beyond it, cloaked in night. Leia felt drawn to it, and suddenly calm. She could just walk outside, keep walking until she was lost in the wilderness and perhaps some night beast would come tracking her. It wouldn't be a pleasant way to die but it would be over quickly. She took a step outside.
Suddenly she felt an arm on her forearm and she jumped with surprise, whirling around. Han Solo stood there.
"Where do you think you're going, Princess?" He asked, his tone ominous.
She was embarrassed to be caught out like this and all her calmness left her. She blushed furiously with shame and anger. "Nowhere! I was just getting some fresh air."
"It's not safe in the jungle at night." He was still hanging on to her and she wrestled her way free.
"What are you doing here, anyway? Shouldn't you be celebrating?" Her tone was bitter and Han's face seemed to soften.
"I was worried about you."
That caught her up short. Han Solo was worried about her? What kind of crazy night was this?
"Look, Princess—"
"Don't call me that! Don't ever call me that again," she yelled at him, suddenly out of control. She found herself beating her fists against his chest and crying. "I'm not the princess of anything anymore, don't you understand?" She couldn't seem to stop herself, she couldn't stop. All her emotions were pouring out at once and she didn't do things like this, she just didn't, why couldn't she stop?
Han did the only thing he could think of – he wrapped his arms around her tightly and held her as close to him as he could. There was nowhere for her diminutive frame to go now, no room for her fists to find their mark and she was left, impotent of rage, tears still streaming down her cheeks.
Giving comfort was not Han's strong suit so he didn't quite know where to take it from there, so he just continued to hold her while she cried. Soon the sobbing stopped and they were left standing there, his arms enfolding her, she pressed up against him.
Leia felt stunned by Han's move and something else she didn't expect. She felt protected. She felt like, for a moment, she didn't have to be in charge, the Rebellion didn't need her and she could relax. And she did start to relax. She heard his heart beating under his shirt, she breathed in the smell of him, she felt him, somehow. Some inner part of him recognized him in a way she never had before. Only, wait, weren't there times in her life when she inexplicably knew about someone? Usually it was a negative feeling, like a warning that the person had bad intentions, but this time it was far from that.
She realized she'd been standing there in his arms for quite some time and that he had been silent and she started to get self-conscious. She pulled back, disengaged from the embrace and wiped her eyes. Blushing, she looked up at him.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me, you shouldn't have to… I mean… I usually don't…"
"I know," he said softly. "It's okay, Sweetheart. You've had a hell of a few days. I don't know what I'd do if… Well, you've had a hell of a few days." He put his arm around her shoulder. "Let me walk you back to your room."