OH MY GOD! I AM SO SORRY FOR HOW LATE THIS IS... I know I say that every time I update, but I made this chapter longer that the rest, almost 2,000 words more! I hope you guys like it! Don't forget to review and follow!

Quote of the Chapter:

"Always." - Peeta

I'm standing in the big field in front of the golden Cornucopia. It's just me, standing here, wearing my Mockingjay armor.

I hear a rustling to my left, the same side of the ear I lost my hearing in during these games. When I turn to see what it is, I am met with the snakelike eyes of President Snow.

"Look at you, our girl on fire, our Mockingjay. How many people paid the price for you to be here?" he says in that venomous voice of his. I think about his question and what else is there to do but answer honestly?

"More than there should have been." I say and he has a pleased smile on his face.

"Ahh, so you understand." he says with such clarity.

"Understand what?" I reply and he looks at me, even more pleased than before, if that's even possible.

"That people have died for you. That you did this to all of them. That everything bad that has happened to people is your fault. I'm sure some people would like to agree."

Now, I hear a rustling from behind me so I turn around, only to be met with the piercing blue eyes of Peeta. He looks like he did when I saw him for the first time in District 13, except this time, he's wearing handcuffs.

"Peeta, don't you have anything to say to Katniss." President Snow asks him.

"No. I believe everything I want to say has been said before." Peeta replies with so much certainty, even I believe him. Obviously, President Snow has other plans.

"Tell me, how do you feel about her?" President Snow says, pulling a gun from out of his pocket and pointing it at him.

"I don't know, sir. I'm sorry."

President Snow has a smug smile on his face when he says, "Me too my boy, me too."

"PEETA. NO." I scream as I watch President Snow pull the trigger that is to set off the bullet that will end Peeta's life. I try to push Peeta out of the way, but I'm too late. The bullet has lodged itself right where I used to lay my head when we shared a bed, right where I could hear the steady beat of his heart.

"What have you done?" I scream at President Snow as he looks on with much pride.

"Remember I told you that it's the things we love the most that destroy us. He loved you the most and you destroyed him." he says right before he starts laughing maniacally.

"You... killed... him...," I fight to say in between sobs. I turn around to look at President Snow, but I see nothing except the gun that killed one of the only people I truly care about anymore.

I go to Peeta and I see his lifeless eyes looking back at me and I scream. I just scream continuously. He can't be dead. He can't be dead. He can't be...

I wake up screaming and covered in sweat. I keep screaming, and then I start crying. Peeta's dead, gone forever. I'll never see him again.

I cry until I can't stand it anymore so I grab a coat and run out the door. I run across Haymitch's yard until I'm in Peeta's yard. I'm still running, with tears streaming down my face, until I finally get to his front door. I bang on the door until I see a light come on. I hear him coming down the stairs in his loud, and rather quick manner, but I still don't believe its him, I still don't know if he's alive.

My vision is blurred whenever he opens the door.

"Katniss? Is everything..." I don't give him time to finish his sentence because I launch myself into his arms. I feel him regain his balance and he hesitates before he hugs me back, but when he does, it's the most secure I've felt in ages.

"You're alive. You're alive. You're alive..." I whisper over and over again, until I assure myself that this is real.

"I'm alive. I'm okay. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." Peeta whispers reassurances into my hair and I feel myself relaxing.

"Would you like to come inside?" he asks and I nod my head, but I don't make an attempt to let go of him.

"You know. If we want to go in we might be better off letting go of each other."

I shake my head hastily and he laughs. It is such a sincere, lighthearted laugh that it makes me cry and smile at the same time.

We end up getting into his house and I'm immediately wrapped into the comfort of his house. The smell of cinnamon and dill that I love so much floods my senses. His house is warm and welcoming while mine is cold and condemning. His radiates life. His house is everything that he is, everything that I'm not.

"Would you like a drink?" he asks me, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Yes, Please." We're still at an awkward relationship. For the past two months I thought that things could be different, that things could be better, but by my response, I know we're not comfortable with each other. If I were comfortable I wouldn't have responded like that. I guess our moment of showing sentiment towards each other was over. Sure it was short lived but I won't forget this as long as we continue on the path we're heading in.

'I'll be right back then," he says and then leaves.

I'm about to sit on his couch when I notice the paintings on the wall. To get a better view, I walk over to one. I go to the one on top of the fireplace.

It is a beautiful picture of Victor's Village. It looks exactly like the entrance to the Village, but there's something in the painting that's not there in real life. Happiness. I mean, there are no people as far as I can see in the painting, but it's just the way Peeta presents it. He presents it as a home, as a place where people would love to grow up in. Where a family can live, free from fear. It's a place I wish I grew up in.

I go to another painting. This one is of Peeta and I the day we got back from the first Games. We're standing at the train station, holding hands. We both look so happy to be home. I am looking straight forward, smiling for all of the cameras. It's as simple as that. Peeta, however, is a different story. He is looking down at me in the most loving and tender way. There is something else there too. Sure, there's a lot of love, but you can also see the realization and hurt from him knowing that all of it is an act. If it was anyone else looking at this picture, they would just see two people, happy and in love. But I'm not just anyone. I see past the surface. I see all of the things Peeta didn't want anyone else to see. We're happy, I can't deny that, but there's so much more to it than just that.

I'm amazed by how Peeta can do something so spectacular that not even a photograph could capture.

The last painting I see is one of Peeta's newest creations. I can tell because it's got a darker tone, but Peeta's light is not entirely gone. It's a dandelion. A dandelion in the middle of all the ash and dust of District 12. It is right behind the remains of the bakery. Right where I sat as he threw the bread to me. I notice that in the painting, it's raining. Not a threatening rain, just enough to give the dandelion the water it needs to survive. It's living despite all the hardships it's had to go through to survive. Just like Peeta and I.

I didn't know Peeta was standing in the doorway looking at me until I turn around. He is looking at me with a calculating look. He must have been standing there for awhile.

"I set your water on the table," Peeta says to break the silence. I look to the little table in front of a chair and walk over to sit in that chair. While I take a drink, Peeta sits on the sofa beside me.

"Is everything alright?" Peeta asks, even though, by the look on his face, I know he knows everything is not okay. Nothing has been okay for awhile now. So I shake my head because it'd be of no use to lie to him.

"Want to talk about it?" he says and ,by the look I'm sure I have on my face, I know he already knows the answer. I shake my head and he knows not to say anything more. Sometimes it helps to talk about the visions that haunt my sleep, but most of the time it's better if you try to forget it, even thought you can never forget what you saw.

We sit there in silence, trying to ignore each other, but I can't. He's right in front of me. Isn't that what I wanted, isn't that what I fought for?

I look over to him and our eyes meet. These are the same eyes I used to find so comforting, so safe, and they still make me feel, somewhat, the same. Many things have changed but one thing hasn't, and that's the way his eyes flit away when our eyes meet. They did that when we were in school. They did that the day we had the Victor's meeting, the day I killed President Coin. They do that now, the same way they did before all the terrible things happened to us. Before we were sent into the Games. Before we were Victors. Before he was hijacked.

Breaking into my thoughts is Peeta's voice. He hesitates for a second, but catches himself and he sounds somewhat horrified when he say this.

"You know, I can hear you screaming at night," he says, looking right over my shoulder, ignoring my eyes. He's got my full attention now.

"Night after night I listen just to see if you'll wake up. When you do, I feel helpless. I just whisper reassurances to myself, in the dark, knowing that they won't help you, that I can't help you. Maybe I'll never be able to help you."

"Peeta, don't say that. You're doing everything you can. All of us are."

"Katniss, you don't understand. We wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for me. I shouldn't have said anything about my crush on you. That's what caused you to pretend we were in love and you had to follow that act. You're the only reason I'm alive right now. Everyone knew I was supposed to die in that first arena but you came and saved me. You pulled out those berries because you had an act to keep up, and you did. If you wouldn't have, I would be dead and nothing bad would have happened." He was so strong in his words and he believes himself fully, which makes his next sentence so scary.

"I wish I was dead. I wish I would have died so that you could have lived happily and without the pain I've brought to you."

I can't do anything for a second except stare at him. His words make me want to cry. He's looking at the floor now. He won't make eye contact with me and it's killing me. I have to say something before he believes it's real.

The words just start rolling off of my tongue.

"Live happily? Who could have possibly had a happy life in the world we were living in. Whether or not you died I wouldn't have lived happily."

He's looking at me now, but I can tell he still doesn't believe me, so I talk again.

"I pulled those berries out by choice. No one told me to do that but I did it because I knew that I couldn't let you die. I could never forgive myself. I wouldn't even be able to live with myself knowing that you died in that arena. You were fixing to die so that I could win, but I wouldn't let you. I could've easily stood there and watch you kill yourself just so I could win, but I couldn't. It's not that I'm too stubborn to let anyone do that for me, but it's that we created a bond in that arena. A bond that no one except us could understand. None of this was your fault. You were just trying to survive." I'm looking right into his bright, blue eyes and he's looking right into my eyes. We don't do anything for a few seconds until, finally, Peeta does something.

He smirks.

"What?" I ask maybe a bit too harshly, but he needs to understand I'm not kidding.

"And you say you're not good with words?!" He starts laughing quietly. That's twice tonight he's laughed and it's making it hard for me to stay upset with what he said.

I didn't exactly expect that response but at least he's not talking about himself dying.

"I was just speaking my mind. That's not the same as being good with words."

"Maybe you should speak your mind more often." He's quit laughing but he's still smiling.

"Yeah and look how far that's gotten us." He's not smiling anymore. He nows exactly what I'm talking about. He nows I'm referring to what I did in District 11 and what I did as the Mockingjay.

We don't speak for awhile after that. We just try to avoid each other's eyes and try to think of something to say that will help the situation, but, clearly, we can't think of anything. At one point, I look over to Peeta to see him staring at the painting of us at the train station. He is thinking about something, but I don't ask what it is. He'll tell me if he wants to.

I'm about to say something when he turns his head and stops me.

"You really didn't want me to die?"

"No. Like I said before, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself. I wasn't thinking about what could or what would happen after we got out of the arena. I just acted out of impulse." I tell him this and I realize, I mean it. I'm not just saying it to make him feel better, even though that was originally part of the plan, but I'm saying it because it's true.

Once again, we fall silent. There's been way too many times where it becomes a somewhat awkward silence. Even though I don't like the silence, I stay quit.

"I'm going to relight the fire." Peeta says.

I hadn't realized that, while we were talking, the fire was starting to die down. I had realized it was getting a bit cooler than it was when I got here, but it was still warm in here. I thought that maybe I was starting to feel colder because of our conversation.

I am starting to feel sleepy while I watch Peeta light the fire. I'm looking at the back of his head and before I know it I'm asleep. I couldn't stop myself, I was just starting to realize how late it was and how tired I was when my body just gave up and shut down. That's what I get for not being able to sleep with nightmares.

I wake up to the feeling of two strong arms picking me up from the chair. I know I haven't been sleeping for more than fifteen minutes.

"It's alright. Go back to sleep." Peeta's voice is so gentle and caring that it makes me feel safe in his arms once again. He is holding me like a fragile vase, tightly but delicately, almost like I can break at any moment.

I'm too tired to ask a question but I manage to squeeze out enough words to have a very short conversation.

"Where are we going?" I sound like I'm whispering. I'm not sure Peeta even heard me until he starts climbing the stairs.

"You're going to sleep in my room." I can practically hear that exhaustion in his voice too. I wrap my arms around his neck and lean my head against the spot where I can hear his heat beat so that I can make it easier on him.

"What about you?"

"I'm sleeping on the couch. Don't worry."

I'm forcing my eyes to stay open but I'm not doing a very good job. My eyes have been closed this whole time and I'm almost asleep when he sets me down on his bed, lays my head gently on a pillow, and brings the blanket up to my chin.

"Goodnight Katniss."

I can hear him walking out, but I'm not ready for him to leave. What if I lose him, again?

"Peeta, wait."

I don't hear his footsteps anymore, so I know he's listening.

"What's wrong? Are you comfortable?"

I completely ignore his question and ask my question.

"Can you stay with me until I fall asleep?"

He's thinking about it. Even without looking at him, I can tell. He would have said no already.

He doesn't say anything, but his footsteps start up again and they're getting closer this time.

I open my eyes and there he is right in front of me. He doesn't say anything while he goes to get the chair sitting in the corner of his room and sets it down right by the bed. He sits down on it and I have to admit that I'm upset his arms aren't around me to ward off all of the nightmares, but all of those thoughts leave my head when he says the one word I have been waiting for. The one word that means no matter what, he'll love and protect me. The one word that no matter how hard I try to deny it, will always make me happy that Peeta's here with me.

"Always."

The word that means forever.

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"God! You're as stubborn as a grass stain!" -Haymitch