Hello everyone,

finally I have only got one exam left and enough time to prepare for that.

So here you get the next chapter. From now on there will be two updates per week. Sunday is the next.

Now we turn more to Kanda's side of the story.

Thanks for the reviews.

Disclaimer: Yeah, sure. I am waiting for any update on DGM like you all.

But I can't rest for long because I accidentally turn on a badly bruised spot and jerk up again. Only then I notice the tray with food next to my bed, including some mitarashi dango, my favourite treat from when I still lived in Japan. I eat it fast, damn I'm hungry. After I'm finished I look around the room sadly, I'm alone again. I try to stop the tears from appearing again. To get my head off these depressing thoughts I decide to occupy myself with finding the toilet.

I carefully get out of the bed, moving with the upmost caution, to neither anger Kanda nor injure myself even further. I limp over to the door and carefully open it. After a look left and right without seeing someone I step out. I'm at the end of a small hallway. There are two more doors to the left and three on the other side.

First I try the one opposite of me, only finding a storage room. To my surprise I find a carton there with the trophies Kanda won. Even back then he was already a high class swordsman, especially for his age, and went to tournaments now and then. When I take a closer look at the years they were won I can see that the newest is nearly two years old, while for basically every year before he got more than one. Only in the time three years ago and since the last one there is not even one. That surprises me, Kendo had been Kanda's, well, dedication you could say. He even constantly carried a sword around for some time (until the school banned it). And he would love to go to the competitions because most of the time he would win and he would hate to miss even one. So it's really strange in my opinion.

The room to the left of mine is apparently his own bedroom. All in dark blue, with the painting of a lotus. There is also his beloved sword, Mugen. But it's carelessly thrown in the corner. Something is definitively wrong here. I hurriedly close that door again. The next on the right is an empty living room. When I step up to the third door on the right I see light seeping from under it. Curiously I open the door a crack.

What I see is not what I expected. It's the kitchen. And there is Kanda himself. He's sitting hunched over, his elbows on his knees and the face buried in his hands. On the table is a bottle of which I would say is Sake, but unopened. Even though he's old enough to buy alcohol, I would never have thought he would have some. But again this just looks wrong, he seems too resigned for the Kanda I know. So I approach him carefully.

"Kanda? Is everything okay?"

He looks up at me with a blank gaze, being able to hide emotions and exhaustion before I can spot them, "Moyashi? What the hell are you doing here? You should fucking be still in bed."

I smile softly, "I need to go to the toilet. But that doesn't matter now. Is something wrong with you?"

"The other side," he only scoffs.

"Huh?"

"The bathroom is the door on the fucking other side!" he yells, running his hand through his long hair.

"Thanks, but I said it doesn't matter now."

He groans exasperated and stands up harshly. He walks over to the drawers over the stove, shoving one of them open. Then he takes a tea kettle out and nearly throws it on the stove, filling it with water. He grabs some tea from another cupboard and prepares the tea with harsh movements. I sit myself on one of the chairs standing around the table in the middle of the room.

"What is it?" he snaps when he turns around and spots me.

"I want to know what is wrong with you. You are not like I knew you."

"Che, sorry for you! I don't fucking care! People simply change over three fucking years!"

"I know, but you're not even doing Kendo anymore. Seriously Kanda, something must have happened in that time."

He stiffens, "Not your fucking business and I already told you the shit that happened."

"I know Alma's death must have affected you deeply, but…"

"You just don't understand, do you?" he suddenly yells at me and shoots around to me, shocking me.

"Uhm, I…" No, I don't.

"God, you're more stupid than I thought," he turns away.

"Hey," I shout, feeling insulted, "You're not explaining it either."

"If you don't see your fucking mistake there is no bloody sense to tell you!"

He rips the boiling water off the stove and pours it into two cups. He slams one of them down in front of me.

"What? Kanda, I want to understand! And at the moment I have no one but you. Please."

He looks down at me with a look I think to detect disgust in, "You really don't understand how much you hurt them when you just left without saying anything."

"I do, but…"

"No, I don't think you do. Linali didn't eat or sleep, thinking you were kidnapped. The usagi stayed up, searching for information until he collapsed. Alma ran all over the place, panicking, and injured himself in the process. Everyone went crazy. We all thought you were fucking dead for three years. And you… You just think no one cared. Even I'm not that cold hearted."

He turns away and stares down into his tea, his fists clenching on the table. I am shocked. I knew they would worry, but that much? Never. I didn't want anything of that to happen.

"And you…?" I ask in a silent voice.

"I what?" he growls back.

"What did you do, when I left?"

"I tried to keep everyone from fucking killing themselves," he scoffs.

"You-You didn't worry?" I ask, for some reason my voice wavering.

He looks at me with a cold, but calculating gaze for a moment then answers with an emotionless voice, "I will tell you my answer when you finally see what effect your disappearance had on everyone."

I look at his eyes, but the dark orbs, once so full of emotion are cold and empty, sending shivers down my back. What did affect him that much? It can't have been only Alma's death.

"Che" He turns his head away again.

"Kanda?" I ask carefully.

"What now?"

"Why did you stop with Kendo?"

He stiffens, "Didn't want anymore," is the blunt reply.

But I look him straight in the eyes, "You are lying, Kanda. If there is one thing I know, it is that you would never stop with Kendo without a reason. And you would have sold Mugen, if you really simply didn't want anymore. So what happened?"

"I thought I made myself bloody clear that it's none of your fucking business! And I already talked fucking enough!" he grumbles at me and stands up, his empty cup in hand.

"You didn't go on any tournament anymore since Alma died, am I correct? Why?"

He sighs, "Moyashi. You're seriously nerve-wracking. How about we make a deal?"

"A deal?" That's surprising.

"I will tell you, why I'm not doing Kendo anymore and you tell me how come you're with child. And after that no questions anymore."

I think about it and come to the conclusion that this will be the best I can get out of that stubborn jerk. So I nod.

"Deal."

He sighs and sits down opposite me.

"You're right. I stopped with it after Alma died. The last trophy I won was the Championship. Because of that the rabbit threw the party. And that was why Alma died. So if I hadn't been doing Kendo none of this would have happened," he explains in a voice from which the sadness is audible, despite his best attempts at hiding it behind anger.

I open my mouth to say that he couldn't take it like that and even if he didn't fight this could have happened, but he lifts his hand, looking tired suddenly.

"I know what you want to say. That me doing Kendo had nothing to do with his death. Everyone said that. But I just couldn't. Every time I would see a poster or something for a new tournament I would remember this. And after Daisya's death I couldn't even pick the sword up anymore."

"Daisya is dead as well?" I ask shocked.

Daisya Berry was Kanda's adoptive brother. The two had been adopted by Froi Tiedoll together with Noise Marie. Daisya was a bit annoying, especially for Kanda. He was a soccer freak. I don't know much more about him, but it still must have affected Kanda.

He nods, "Yeah, some months after Alma…"

"How?"

"No one knows exactly. Some say accident, some say suicide, some even say murder or that his heart simply had a problem. He was on the way to one of his soccer matches and his motorbike was found crashed under a cliff."

Daisya had been born with a cardiac defect but he took medicine and could live like a normal teen.

"I'm sorry. How are Marie and Tiedoll?"

"Marie's fine. Found himself a girl, if I'm correct. The stupid old man, well, he's a bit depressed…"

"When did you leave?"

"Around two months back. I couldn't stand it there anymore. With Tiedoll moping around and the permanent reminders of Alma…"

I nod and cast my gaze down, "I understand you. Sorry for making you remember that."

He shrugs, "Doesn't matter. But now, how the hell did you get pregnant, beansprout?"

Normally I would say something sarcastic about him not knowing about where babies come from but regarding what we talked about earlier it just doesn't fit, so I answer honestly.

"Well, you understand that I'm a male who can bear children?"

He snorts. I take it as an affirmation and continue.

"And I lived on the streets. And well as a teenager on the streets, thing can happen to you. And ah…"

I am fidgeting, reluctant to talk about the rape. But Kanda gives me no mercy. He's only staring at me with a blank gaze, his arms crossed and frowning. I open my mouth and close it, not being able to say anything. He raises an eyebrow, when I unconsciously start to tremble lightly as memories flood my brain.

"I would prefer you would talk because of the deal we had, but well. From what I can see, it was not a planned pregnancy."

I nod. He sighs and continues.

"You don't look like you got someone who looks after you. So did you get raped?" he asks bluntly.

I tense but still nod, not meeting his gaze.

He groans and murmurs to himself, "Great, just great. I came here to get away from my past and what do I find here, the moyashi. And pregnant. Nice shock hearing that from your male friend. And nowhere to go because he bloody manages to get himself out on the streets and get raped. Fucking great!"

He stands up harshly, turning towards the stove. I look down sadly, a bit frightened of what is going to come. He runs a hand over his face. Then he straightens up and looks at me.

"Fine, moyashi. You can stay here for now. I will try to contact Linali and the rabbit to find a solution for this. But no more stupid questions, understood?"

I nod thankfully. This is more than I ever expected from Kanda. I just want to open my mouth but he cuts me off.

"And now you fucking go back to bed. Go to the bathroom if you need, but then fucking rest!"

Without another word he stomps out of the room and into his own, where I hear him rummaging through something. I smile silently to myself. So Kanda really still has a soft side, nice to see.

That's it for today. Thanks for reading.

I am aware that Kanda may be a bit OOC and that will unfortunately continue throughout the story, sorry. ^^'

Hope you liked it nonetheless. Please review and see you next time.