Disclaimer – I'm not Stephenie Meyer therefore this is not mine. Don't sue me.

A/N – Thanks to all the brilliant people who have reviewed, alerted, etc. Thanks also to ode to a firefly for frequently prompting me to write.

Mood Music – hm…You Were Meant for Me – Jewel and Apologize – One Republic

Finally...make my day...review!!

I knelt, clutching my arms around midsection and stared at him, standing only three long strides away. My brain, newly enhanced since I last saw him, photographed his image in minute detail and I knew that never again would I fail to do him justice, never again would I forget the perfect, otherworldly beauty that was Edward. I stood slowly, shock, awe and pure elation fighting to dominate my features. He remained still and appeared utterly stunned for reasons that I couldn't fathom.

"Bella?" he breathed, voice velvet and pure, sweet music to my ears.

It was then, at the very moment I heard him speak my name, that I knew I could not do this. He had broken me so utterly that I would never be the same, but I was slowly, so slowly in fact that often I didn't recognize it, healing. I wouldn't be completely without blemish, my heart would have cracks and small holes when the process was complete, but the gaping wound in my chest would heal over and I would be able to go on and function normally again. Maybe not for a few decades, but it would happen – with his continued absence. But if I let him in now and he left again…I would never recover from such a blow as that.

I stepped away from him, wondering for the first time in my existence if I was faster than he was. I doubted it.

"Bella…" he said again, stepping towards me now. His face showed a quiet wonder, but his eyes…they were more sorrowful than even my own. "Please don't…"

I gaped at him, wondering if he could hear my thoughts now that I was one of his kind. "Can you…?" I asked, trailing off at the end and simply motioning at my head.

"No," he whispered. "Your mind is as closed to me as it was when you were human. I can still read your face though."

I closed my eyes, fighting to do what I knew I had to.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. I opened my eyes and gasped, he was standing close enough to touch. He reached his hand out and brushed my face – I could not bring myself to move. It was so strange for his fingers not to feel icy, to not be immediately dazzled when I met his golden eyes with my own.

"I owe you so many things…least of all an apology," he said, speaking so fast that were I still human I could never have caught it all. "I left you to keep you safe. I had no idea that my leaving would be your undoing, would, quite literally, be the death of you."

"I have spent these last six years searching for some sign that you were still out there, that Charlie was wrong and you didn't die from a wild animal attack. I went there, to the meadow where they found the last remains of your human self, but it had rained so much and all the scents had washed away. I didn't know what had really gotten you, or if you had staged your own death and ran. I have always hoped that you had – that you grew to detest Forks enough that you simply broke all ties and left. I burned it, you know."

"Burned it?" I asked, quite bewildered.

"The meadow. Not the wood, just the meadow. I burned it black and then doused it with salt so that it would never be the same. It was ours and you disappeared from there. Your blood stained the ground. I could not let it remain so beautiful when it was the scene of such a crime, of such an abomination."

"You didn't have to destroy it…" I said, utterly shocked.

"I wanted to destroy much more than that. This is entirely my fault. If I hadn't of left…if I had recognized Laurent as a threat…you would still be human. You would still have your life, still be with Charlie and Renee and by now would have a college degree and perhaps even be married. You would have all the normal human experiences and grow old surrounded by your family. I took that from you, even though I swore I wouldn't, even though I left you so it wouldn't happen, it happened anyway. Oh, Bella…"

I recoiled. Even now he didn't want me. He was just regretful that I was no longer human, that I would no longer fall prey to old age or disease. I pulled away from his hands, rage boiling through me. Part of me, a large part, still wanted him. That part had hoped that if I ever came across him again he would see me – strong, lovely – and want me back. It was now disappointed beyond belief - even as a vampire I wasn't good enough.

He looked at me, confusion and pain twisting his features. "I am so sorry, love."

At hearing him call me that, after I knew how he really felt, the rage won out and I slapped him with every ounce of strength I had, the resulting sound was deafening. He was caught off guard – his head snapped back and he stumbled back a few steps.

He straightened up, rotating his neck a bit. "I suppose I deserved that. Would you like to hit me again? I do believe I would let you kill me if it would make you feel better."

I blanched. "I couldn't kill you," I whispered. "I could never do that."

I reached out toward him and then pulled my hand back. I was so going to pay for this when he left again. I should have run when I had the chance, I thought to myself.

"Could you…."

"Could I what?" I whispered.

"Have I killed the love you once had for me? Were you moving on before you…died? Have you moved on since? Have you found someone to love? Have you put me behind you as I meant for you to do? Please tell me, don't spare my feelings. Are your feelings for me gone or could you still love me, after everything?"

I could not speak – I did not know how to answer the question I thought would never be asked of me. I loved him, but he didn't, couldn't possibly love me and I would not let myself further decimate my own heart.

His face crumpled into a mask of agony at my silence.

"I love you, Bella, I love you with every fiber of my being. I am so very sorry for all the pain that I have caused you," he whispered, regret lacing his voice like a poison.

He continued to speak but all I could hear was Edward saying he loved me. All I could feel was the absolute certainty in that statement, due to my hyper-intuitive sense. Instead of healing me, the knowledge that he loved me hurt worse emotionally than anything I had ever been through – he claimed to love me and still he left me to suffer, to die, to try in vain to go on without him.

He reached out toward me with one lovely marble hand and I obeyed my instincts. I turned and ran.