Am I'm only one really annoyed that a lot of Percy Jackson stories he becomes a single front of the Gods. Like he's incapable actually criticizing them. It's a weird thing.Good news and I got a new phone and it has the ability for me to speak into it and having my words typed up is drastically creating creasing my writing speed so I should be actually able to put up a longer and more frequent chapters that Express what I want to say more often so look for that.

mmmmmm

Jason's funeral was painful for Percy in a way that no other funeral was, not even the dozens of funerals from the Titan ward had. And he hadn't even attended it, only arriving in Camp Jupiter three days after it had already happened. All he found waiting for him was a memorial, built out of Wood (for easy transport is they were ever attacked.)

He wasn't sure he could hold back his pain, as it was he could feel the water vapor in the air trembling. He was pretty sure it was only Nico's drastically superior power over the Earth that kept all of the buildings standing and California on the map.

The memorial statue itself had each of The Seven as well as Nico's and Reyna on it. It smelled of ozone and Aphrodite's essence.

'The Gods are mourning.' Bile barely stopped at his throat, venom built up in his heart. ' Almost like they care, almost like this isn't their fault.'

He felt his lungs struggling to hold on to air as his anger rose. Droplets formed on his face, like gentle sea spray crying on his face. Soon, his body was soaked, the soothing touch of water eased his anger, he could breath just a little easier.

That's when he felt Annabeth's hand on his face. Opening his eyes, her worried and mildly terrified face stared back at him. She looked at him she looked at him as if she had never seen him before her face covered in the same moisture his was, his pain made manifest in the form of water covered her.

"Seaweed brain" she said, blinking through the moisture."Are you okay..." It wasn't really a question.

He shook his head feeling drops of his sadness falling off of him and with them a little bit of the ease there healing touch brought him. "No... No I'm not." looking away from his girlfriend his eyes fixed themselves on the statue on the memorial of one of the worst times in his life and one of the best.

Drops of ocean spray covered the entire statue top to bottom, tears they looked like, he thought, tears falling from the face of every single member of the seven from Reyna and Nico. A stark reminder of everything they had lost.

Percy, Percy new this is only the beginning. Percy knew this was something that was going to happen again and again, the chances of making it to thirty, having children of their own, all of them.. it was never going to be. They would be alone forever stuck as servants of the gods, their own parents who had them solely to use them as weapons, use them as they used every demigod or legacy he had ever known. Castor and Pollux, Charles Beckendorf and Silena, Will Solace and Bianca, Jason and countless others like him. Even like Luke...

The future demigods would never rest because they too were damned and doomed to serve their parents in a non ending cycle in which their parents, the gods themselves never took credit for their own screwed-up part in this whole mess.

"No Annabeth no, I'm not okay I don't think I'll ever be okay. I think, I think I understand Luke finally. All of the crap, all of the death being used as if all of our accomplishments, all we've done for all of these people, for the gods themselves means absolutely nothing." Absently he noticed and felt the Earth shaking around him, the eyes of the demigods and legacies around him, those Romans overly loyal to the Gods staring at him. And perhaps it was his imagination but he swore he could honestly feel the very eyes of the Gods themselves part of, waiting for him to finish his thoughts. In the distant part of his mind pass imagination further back than anything else, deep in hope and cynicism, he hoped Luke was watching, listening. He hoped Luke of all people could finally rest knowing that someone finally someone understood him and understood that the gods were monsters, and that monsters and demigods were victims, play toys for those in power. Victims of history.

Annabeth's sudden intake of her breath, pried away from his pain for just long enough to look at her. "Percy, you cannot talk like that, cannot think like that. It'll drive you insane like it did Luke, like it did every one we fought against in the Titan war. We cannot become those people, that person. The gods are family, warts and all, we need them and they need us. Honestly Percy without them we don't really have a reason to be alive. They give us that purpose, it sucks sometimes most the time even but it is ours, we are meant to honor it. No matter the cost."

At first Percy was angry, extremely angry and hurts. But then he looked in her eyes and realized they just like his just like his. She didn't really mean it. It was hollow, painfully empty words, years and years of repeating the same phrases as a way to deal with the trauma and abuse the gods and forced upon them. Perhaps for the first time Percy actually decided to resent Chiron knowing full well that he had trained them to honor the gods or at least respect them enough to obey them without question. Without an actually good reason.

He embraced annabeth holding her clothes were putting his mouth right by her ear. "You believe that even less than I do. I've known you long enough and I know you do not feel anything of what you just said. It's okay to admit that at least to me. I would never ever hate you or turn on you for saying that. We all think that,all of The Shack, we have too with all we have gone through, with all we've seen especially you and me and Nico, would be fools not to." she froze up in his arms holding him tighter shivering just a little bit.

"I know Percy I know we have to be careful. Even if we do think this either this is who we are we cannot say it out loud we cannot let them hear us you know what they would do" Her voice trembled, she was actually afraid terrified even.

He started to remember talking to her before about her mother about the first rule all children of Athena learn. The mother wasn't the best at absolutely everything the fact that saying anything different would cause incredibly painful and frequent punishment that would last for most of their life. He had seen this nobody realized what it was at the time but he had seen it. Children of Athena who would become accident prone things just wouldn't go their way. He never thought much of it, I know you probably should have. They're always a more outspoken sibling see, this was something to sit out for a few days maybe even weeks. But eventually they become quiet song and almost unspeakable unsociable and miserable. Now they thought about it in a little bit more. He realize that all of the children of Athen, we're the ones that had joined Kronos . And since then it was those kids that would disappear from camp Half-Blood every so often, he never really gave much thought to what happened to them afterwards he wasn't sure he really wanted to know.

Knowing there was little point in continuing this conversation Percy tightened his grip on Annabeth and walked away with her, ignoring the eyes of all those around him. He hoped they would ignore what he said or at least brush it off as grief. He sure they would, witg as much good as he done for them and for the Gods even, they would allow that to blind them even if for a little bit. None of them would know that this day,at this moment all of the resentment that had built up over inside of him over the years, that he developed the moment he was born, that reached a peak while he was in Rome with Bacchus, the foolish god of wine and other freaking ridiculous stuff, forcing him into a gladiator type battle just to kill the Giants that threatened the world instead of actually having the gall and intelligence and decency to help him fight, burst forth past loyalty. Percy realized that if he ever wanted to free, if he ever wanted a future with Annabeth and with his own children, the Gods could not be a part of that future. Whether that meant he had to leave the gods of the Gods had to go away was up to them and himself.

Reyna watched Percy walk away with his beloved. She could feel it,his malice, his rage,his pain, without even having to draw on her ability to share her strength with other people. It overcame her and overcame them all. She knew, unlike the others that he truly meant it, what he said. The worst part and the part she was most ashamed of was that she didn't entirely disagree. It was something she had thought after watching her father becoming a mania, being forced to kill him to save her sister. Something she'd bought many times over and under Cersei, something she saw the day Percy Jackson destroyed her home and she was forced to flee after being abused and misused by pirates. Jason's death only serve to aguament that pain that fueled those thoughts.

Absolutely rubbing her chest, her hearts, Rayna turned and walked away from the statue making her way to her own Villa. She missed them her dogs, her automatons, the presence of comfort her over the years. They were a gift from her mother and as much as she didn't wish to think otherwise, she knew they were a bribe by her mother to keep her loyal, it was something she was deeply ashamed of but never denied it.

"Jason, I miss you. I'm not going to lie I I loved you Jason. Or maybe I thought I could love you, could grow to love you the way Piper did. The way Piper does."Absently she closed her eyes and stood right in front of a picture she takenof Jason and herself the day they both became praetors, the day they took over Mount Orthys. It was here that she began to pray, hoping beyond hope that Jason would hear her even in the afterlife. " I hope that you find peace in the afterlife, a piece none of us demigods and none of us legacies have ever experienced in life. I'm sorry you had to hear what Percy said, if you did hear it. You are always were the most loyal of us. I admired that loyalty, that strength. I never had it myself the way I faked it well. we're Romans were supposed to be loyal, but sometimes the loyalty feels like a burden like it does right now. I love you Jason. I hope you decide to live a long time and the Isles of Bless. Elysium are you honestly deserve to be."

Grieving for a few moments, Reina finally allowed herself to stand shaking off her tears. There was work to do a lot of it actually, Leo Valdez and apparently the fallen god Apollo had warned them of an attack by ancient Roman emperors, who had taken godlike form. She had a runny her City her people oh, she had to ensure that Rome did not fall as Jason had. no matter how much it hurts, no matter how much anger she felt inside of her at the gods and their own neglected their children, of herself, she would not neglect your duty. She was better than the Gods, she's better than all of them, because I'm like them she refused to the glatt and turn on those that she swore to protect. rushing to her desk Reina pull out a pen and a map and began to incorporate all the battle pain she knew.

Apollo, Calypso, Leo, A Daughter of Demeter and a Faun named Grover would be coming soon, they'd be there in a day or two to fight against the Roman emperors... she had be ready.

mmmmm

Absently, Annabeth looked at her boyfriend and saw not for the first time that he was changing. She had noticed it first the moment she met him after Hera had taken him. It was something, something she couldn't quite pinpoint. It was something she had seen grow repeatedly over their time during the war against the Giants. She didn't even know what it was, not even when they fought the primordial of misery and set of Tartarus. Whatever it was, it was fueled by anger and pain, anger and pain she still could not fathom. Had left her almost breathless, knowing that that anger and pain was strong enough to strike down the primordial of misery and inflict true and honest terror in that woman. A woman that by all rights should have been stronger than all of the Gods themselves, as her status is a primordial would indicate. And yet what that Primordial had inside was not nearly as powerful as the misery and power that lay inside Percy. It was this that scared her more than anything else. For the first time in her own life she understood why the gods were afraid of Percy , Thalia, Bianca and Nico. She understood why they wanted to strike them down.

'Life is never so simple as when your children. Seeing the world in black and white, I want to apologize to Perct but I just can't. I don't think I can ever explain to him that I understand what they felt, that they wanted him dead and too some degree I can actually agree with. I really wish it wasn't like this. We have to make sure we move past this I don't think our love can survive it.'

Shame was pushed back, pushed back behind logic and the desire not to feel much at all at the moment, she was pretty sure that was what I'm stopped her from getting into a car crash. Driving while miserable didn't seem like the best mindset to go with. She made a point not to look at Percy again not the moment anyway, she wasn't sure that she wouldn't crash the car if she continued. What was weighing on her on her soul, it wasn't healthy. Perhaps she would also start taking counseling sessions with Percy's counselor or with another anyway. she didn't like the idea of someone poking around in her brain but honestly it might be her last resort.

"Do you think my mom can come see me to visit me. I know I'm on probation at school, they only let me out because of the funeral. But I really do need to see her, I miss her. I miss Estelle and Paul." Percy didn't sound like his normal self not like an adult's he sounded younger than you had the first day she ever seen him. He sounded vulnerable miserable and almost dead. She couldn't remember a time I really sounded like that, not even when they were in Tartarus. She always wondered if living there living in Tartarus even for a short time have left permanent scars on their hearts. She had seen what they had done to Nico, those scars gave him the strength to turn another person into less than a ghost stripping him a reason and memory. She prayed she wasn't try to who that it wouldn't do the same to them. Was powerful Percy was she wasn't sure the world could survive the damage.

Taking a deep breath she spoke to Percy but made a point not to look at him. "maybe but honestly Percy I don't think it's how we are going to do if your mom come out here. We're in California we are right by where monster sworn. we should wait until the fight with the emperor's are done your mom and Estelle and Paul safe. But I do think it might be possible to use Skype or maybe an iris message... never mind I forgot about those damn emperors we still can't use those things can we?"

The laugh... it was wasn't his normal laugh though it was more pain than that. It was better and jaded and fill every word he said next. "It's always something, sigh, it's always something that prevents me from talking to my mom. I lost my memories, I was presumed dead, was in The labyrinth, I was fighting a God or Titan or something. This is exactly what I was talking about Annabeth. We are never going to be able to have the kids and dreams we talked about. Jason and I always had this understanding, we didn't say it but I think, I think we both knew it. Despite all our accomplishments, everybody putting all their trust in us for our parents, sometimes not even cuz of our own actions, we would end up fighting someone... a monster,a god, an illness that was strike us down. All of our accomplishments would be nothing our powrs would mean nothing. We wouldn't be a footnote in the history of the Gods. We're basically gerbils to them, we last few minutes and we make him smile and then we're gone. Sometimes I wonder if it's even worth it, if it's worth saving any of them. Sometimes I wonder, I wonder if maybe we should have helped Luke and start fighting him."

It was here, it was at this very moment that Annabeth knew it She did not want to admit it to herself but she did know it was true. Percy was no longer loyal to the gods and it was that disloyalty to the god that would register and once the emperors were dealt with and they got free range to once again speak to the demigods and legacies, that they would extract the most painful vengeance possible. It would be painful, the gods hated being dishonored, and with someone as powerful as Percy their paranoia and fear would take charge. Everyone around him would suffer alongside him.

She knew what she had to do what she didn't want to do it yet not when the wounds are still fresh. She had to break up with Percy, only to save herself, her brother's, her stepmothe,r her father, all of her brothers in the cat everyone. Her love for Percy as great as it was did not and could not eclipse other people from the Fate that he would bring upon himself for openly speaking honest and valuable but treacherous words.

The mere thought broke her heart. 'I love you Percy Jackson, I love you. But that love I have for you, the love I have for you is not enough to sacrifice everyone I've ever known. It's not wise to let that love destroy all those I love. I'll never recover from this, I will never get over you, we both know it's true. We both know that neither of us would damn all of our loved ones for the other. I hope, that you find peace though I doubt it. When the gods find out what you said, they will make sure you won't. I'll do what I can to protect your mother as Stalin Paul and Tyson. I don't know if I can help you Percy. I don't know if anyone can.'

And just like that tears fell but she hid them thankfully, though part of it had to do with the fact that Percy's eyes were fixed towards the window looking at the sea. He never saw her broken hearts or the cold but necessary decision she made. Slowly but surely she began to cut her heart off from everything she felt from her Percy. It was still there but she couldn't touch anymore...no, that wasn't quite true she could touch it but like any weak damn a mere touch would cause it to explode, the water would surge forth, she be overcome with all she felt. If she had to make this decision, one that she really should have seen coming, she would have to bury that part of herself until one day she could heal, though to be honest she doubted it. She knew she would never recover from this.

She hoped it was worth it.

'Who knows maybe his therapist will help' the words sounded empty even our own mind.

mmmm

Chapter over, tell me what you think of the reviews.I love the story I love the idea where the trauma PTSD and horror of the characters experience start to warp them once they're safe. It's actually a common thing you see with survivors of war and nearly any kind of long term, their lives unravel without all the pain to base it around. I like the idea that Annabeth and Percy drift apart without all the horrors they've experienced hold them together. Loyalty to the gods and to their loved ones cannot mix fully with the trauma they've experienced and I think it's powerful to say that.I'm not going to lie I think a part of this is based on Luke. The trauma he experienced with his mother and then losing Thalia... I don't think that he really could have not started to hate the Gods.A really familiar character to anyone who's read the novellas will be arriving soon if you can guess who it is I love you. actually be about this point when's that character I'm talking about is coming to the series that things will pick up and take more of an adventure every kind of feel to it and less so just to kind of sad and mopey story about feelings. I think I'm going to be incorporating some characters from The Kane Chronicles just saying.Love, your Ninja Overlord,Mika, SPN2.