A/N: Got $3 margaritas with a friend and then came home and wrote this. Please let me know what you think!
I wasn't used to collaborating with Hekate on friendly mischief. I think the closest human comparison to our relationship would be: bitch stole my man. You may recall that little snide remark her mother made about Ares. Yes, yes, I know, God of War, so cliché, right? But he's hot and has that je ne sais quoi of manliness about him and I couldn't help myself. Apparently neither could Hekate. Next thing I knew, Ares stopped texting and Kate is wearing a necklace with the letter A. I might have taken out my frustration by causing a serious pandemic of rabies amongst raccoons in a peaceful Virginia suburb, but it's all water under the bridge now.
Come to think of it, if Ares called I probably wouldn't even care.
Anyways, so Hekate and I were hunched over the toilet bowl in the ladies room at Merlotte's pretending like we were totally fine with each other.
Someone banged on the door.
"What the hell are you doing in there? I've had six beers!"
"Try the men's room, slut!" Hekate yelled back.
I eyed her.
"Here," she whispered. "It's just beginning to mix."
The toilet bowl water turned a lovely shade of violet.
"And you're sure this will work?" I asked nervously, remembering the fast approaching deadline I had given myself when the Queen commissioned me.
Oh sure, I'll have it done in 72 hours or your money back were my words, I believe.
"Honey, I know my shit. This is gonna be perfect," Hekate assured me.
She ladled some into an empty vodka bottle. I had finished it at the bar and the nice guy Sam let me keep it as a memento since I was the only girl in there who had ever killed a fifth all on her own in one hour.
"You hold that," she said. "That's for the vamp."
"And the girl?"
She threw some powder in and the color changed to black.
"This is hers. You only need a little, though."
Hekate pulled out a vial and filled it with just a few drops.
"That's it?" I asked incredulously.
"Yup."
"Okay. Can you take care of Sookie?" I asked.
Hekate smiled and nodded. She pulled the handle and flushed the toilet. Primping herself in the mirror first, she gathered her stuff and we both left the bathroom. There was a line of angry, drunk women waiting outside.
"Deal with the bloodsucker and meet back here when you're done," Hekate ordered.
"This is my job," I reiterated.
"I know. Sorry, was I sounding to domineering?"
"Just a little."
"Well, I guess I forget sometimes. Ares likes that, you know."
I flinched a little at the mention of him.
"Whatever, see you later," I grumbled.
I trudged off with my vodka bottle of purple liquid.
"Okay," I said, trying to give myself a pep talk. "This is gonna work. And then I can get out of this bayou and try something new. Like a vacation. Or a singles cruise…"
After a quick flight, I landed myself outside Fangtasia. They were still open, so I went in the front entrance.
"Uh, this isn't BYOB," the blonde she-vamp said.
"Don't you remember me?" I asked.
"No."
"Well, this is a special delivery for Eric. A present from Sookie."
She flinched a little.
"Ugh. Well, fine. Go in."
I pushed my way through the early morning crowd and knocked on the office door.
"Back so soon?" Eric said when I entered.
"Just wanted to give you a little something from Sookie."
He arched his eyebrow.
I held out the bottle for him.
He frowned.
"In case you haven't noticed, my very peculiar and annoying new friend, I drink blood. Only blood."
My mind screamed: FUCK!
"Oh well…" I scrambled to fix the situation. "Well…Um, I'm going to drink it and then you drink me and it will be the most delicious cocktail ever!"
Eric didn't seem convinced.
Dear lord, I had messed this up again.
"I swear!" I tried to convince him.
He looked at me again, surveying me.
"Why would Sookie send me something like this? A cocktail and another girl's blood? Forgive me if I seem dubious."
I snapped my fingers. Everything froze and I screamed: "Chronos!"
My mother's lifelong peer arrived in a flash.
"Yes, dear?"
"Can you fix this?" I asked.
"How many minutes?"
"Um…give me twenty."
Chronos sighed, wound his wristwatch, and I was back in the parking lot of Fangtasia, having never had the exchange with Eric.
I set the bottle of potion down on the ground and focused myself intently on performing a transformation. One of the perks of being a god is you can pretty much fashion yourself into anything if you take the time and effort.
I approached Pam at the front of Fangtasia.
"Sookie, back again? Your friend is already here."
"Why thanks!" I replied cheerfully.
I bopped my blond hair and perky ass back to Eric's office for round two.
"Sookie," he breathed.
"It occurred to me that I haven't really thanked you for all the help you've given me with the situation with Bill."
"You know I only did it to please you," he flirted.
"Well, I thought maybe I could reciprocate what you did after the bombing."
His eyes widened.
"You want me to have your blood?" he stammered.
"Isn't it fair?" I said, with just enough of a lace of hypnosis to get Eric to say yes.
He looked at me, entranced.
"I want to treat you to something, too," I added.
I downed the bottle in two gulps.
Please work!
Eric stepped closer to me. He licked his lips.
"I have wanted this," he said, his voice ragged.
I winced just slightly and put my hands on his chest.
"Then have me," I drawled in Sookie's sweet voice.
He kissed my lips, pressing them apart. His hands slid down my back and rested on the waist of my jeans, slamming my hips against his.
He trailed down my neck with fervent kisses, bringing one hand up to knot in my hair, pulling it fiercely out of its ponytail. It swung down around my face and Eric grabbed a strand, inhaled lovingly and kissed my lips again.
His fangs emerged. He scraped them along my collarbone and in one swift instant, just as I was beginning to feel the love potion affecting me, he bit.
Eric took a long draught and moaned when he took his lips off my skin.
"Have more," I whispered.
He sucked again, lapping with his tongue and pulled back.
He staggered away from me.
"I feel…strange," he said.
I sighed in relief.
"What's the matter?" I purred.
He looked at me with a tinge of disgust.
"Leave," he commanded.
He didn't have to say it twice. I was out of there in a flash.
"Hekate!" I hissed, once back in the parking lot of Merlotte's.
"Right here, Lyss."
"How'd things go with Sookie?" I asked.
"Perfect!" she replied and did a peppy little clap. "She so ridiculously in love with the vampire it's not even funny."
"Wait, what?"
"The love potion worked," she explained, looking at me like I was dumb.
"So…Eric doesn't want Sookie, but Sookie wants Eric?" I said.
"Uh, yeah. Isn't that what you wanted?"
I smiled nervously and said, "Yeah. I mean, yeah, that'll work. That'll really mess with him, right?"
I prayed to Zeus that this wasn't another eff up.