Author's Note:
This chapter takes place during and immediately after Oliver's Birthday Party in 5x22. My intention is for nothing in here to contradict cannon through the end of season 5, even though there is quite a lot of additional Olicity goodness.
I do have a very non-cannon version of Oliver's Birthday Party as a two shot A, so check it out if you are interested. :-)
(Don't) Let Me Go
Chapter Four: (Not So) Baby Steps
Felicity wondered if this counted as chickening out or not.
When her drunken (and blissed out) mind had decided to ask Oliver over for a birthday celebration, Felicity had something significantly more…intimate in mind.
But in the cold, sober, hung-over light of day, Felicity had started to rethink the idea. Well, maybe, it was more accurate to say she got nervous.
Fine. Okay. Felicity started to freak the frak out. That's what happened. She panicked.
Felicity wanted to get back together. Of course, she did. Oliver was the love of her life. She'd missed him terribly and she forgave him and she had been absolutely miserable when they were apart and…
But…oh God, there were so many 'but's.
Was it the right time? Were they ready? What if it didn't work out? Felicity didn't know if she could survive another break-up. And, what if, this time, they couldn't figure out how to be friends and partners after?
No Oliver. No Overwatch. No team. That was Felicity's…everything.
Wow, Felicity really needed to get a job, because that was just a little bit pathetic. The year on that No Compete clause on her severance pay was up soon. Thank God.
Not having a job just gave Felicity more time for these ridiculous, panicked head rambles and they were progressing to the point where there was a serious danger of dropping her, head first, in the loony bin. Especially since, all these stupid endless 'what if's were a waste of time. There was only one question left to ask:
If Felicity put her heart on the line one more time, was it worth the possibility of failing? Was Oliver worth the risk?
The answer to that question came swiftly every single time Felicity asked it of herself. And with complete surety.
Yes.
Absolutely. Completely. Yes.
It was worth it. Oliver was worth it. They were worth it. So, so worth it.
And more importantly (or at least equally importantly), she was worth it. Felicity refused to be that person, the one who lived half a life because she was afraid of risking what she had for something so much greater (even though that had kinda, possibly been exactly what she'd been doing for the last year. Was it any wonder that that year had sucked?).
So, if Felicity's answer was so clear, then what the hell was her team doing loitering in her Loft at a birthday party that both her and Oliver would prefer to be a hell of a lot smaller?
Okay. That wasn't fair. It could be that Oliver was thrilled to spend his birthday with his sister and his best friend and…
Oliver had said that they should take this one step at a time and that was…really smart. It was. They'd already agreed to try again and, no, she wasn't wussing out on that. Nope. No way. Backing out now was unthinkable (and it, kind of, made Felicity hyperventilate when she even tried). This was, clearly, what they both wanted.
The only thing unclear was the pacing.
One step at a time. Very wise. But…
But what the hell were these mysterious steps everyone kept talking about?
Was a private dinner at her apartment (the apartment they once shared as a soon-to-be married couple) too big of a step? Felicity didn't think so. But what did she know?
Certainly, the very intimate birthday Felicity had fantasied about was. The one she had dreamed up in her drunken state after Oliver had walked her home the night they had caught Chase…the night they had flirted and kissed and she gone upstairs to the filthiest dreams…
Awake. Awake dreams. Daydreams. In the nighttime. One might even call them plans.
Plans for his birthday that may or may not have involved Felicity presenting herself to Oliver as his birthday cake and letting him eat frosting off every square inch of her.
Yeah...maybe, that wasn't the next logical step.
Unfortunately.
Felicity sighed. Maybe next birthday. It was such a beautiful fantasy it would be a shame to waste it.
But once she had discarded her original plan (candles, frosting, and satin sheets, how she missed thee), Felicity had really struggled to find some sort of…in between. Something…first date-y.
What the hell did someone do on a first date with your partner in crime fighting/ex-fiancé/present soulmate/love of your life? All of which made the very idea of a 'first date' seem completely ludicrous. The idea of sitting at a restaurant with everyone staring at them…ugh. No.
But ordering in to Felicity's place (God knew she wasn't going to cook), was that too much? Was it too little? Was that still just an invitation to come over for sex? Was it special enough?
All the second guessing made it really easy to jump on board when Thea suggested a surprise party.
Even though, it really felt like chickening out. Because the more Felicity stood there, surrounded by friends and family, the more she realized that this wasn't an in-between as much as a side-step.
And, frak, Felicity was seriously sick of side-steps. At least, this showed how much she cared. How much all of them cared.
Oliver didn't have enough people making a fuss over him, showing him how much they loved and appreciated him. The cake, the banners, the balloons, the presents…he deserved all that. He meant a lot to them, all of them. And this party made that clear.
Except, maybe, that was the problem. The 'all of them' part. Because Felicity needed to make it clear that she loved and appreciated Oliver in a way that was very different than everyone else in this room. And that was not clear.
So, maybe, when Felicity realized her mistake she…panicked. And, maybe, she started spewing random…hints. It was super suave. Yup, eloquence thy name was Felicity Smoak. And the worst of it…the Pacific Crest Trail.
Felicity had all but invited Oliver on a romantic weekend, just the two of them. The opposite of one step at a time (which, apparently, she was terrible at). And what made it was made soooo much better was the fact that she asked it in a totally messed up, backwards, passive way. Would Oliver even understand what Felicity had meant with her meandering word vomit?
What was she thinking? Of course, Oliver understood. There was like…a negative twelve percent chance that he didn't get it, it was that obvious. He had literally spent months trying to get Felicity to agree to go with him to the Pacific Crest Trail. Wheedling and cajoling. Promising all sorts of lovely things.
But, the thing was, Felicity kinda, sorta…hated camping. And not just camping. All outdoorsy, roughing it, lack of technology type activities. Oliver had managed to convince her to branch out and try hiking in the Andes (just hiking, no tents), which had, granted, been beautiful. She'd give him that, but her feet had gotten wet and blistered and, in the end, they were a pealing, bloody, painful, disgusting mess and she had come to the conclusion…never again.
But Oliver had ignored the part about her not liking the outdoors (roughing it, lack of technology, etc.) and had focused on her feet. He was certain that the right pair of socks would completely change the experience for her. It had become somewhat of a joke with them. He'd even promised to give her a mani/pedi himself (and implied that it would be the sexiest mani/pedi ever given) if he was wrong. Or even if he was right. The mani/pedi bribe was a given.
So…yeah, Oliver totally understood what Felicity was offering, bringing up the Pacific Crest Trail. Big time. And he'd been about as subtle as a freight train in letting Felicity know that he got it.
And, now, their friends thought Oliver had some weird sock fixation, but…
Felicity knew. She knew exactly what Oliver was trying to say in his sweet and painfully awkward way. He was saying that he would go anywhere with her. He was saying that he'd take care of her. That he'd be prepared this time, make sure she never wore the wrong socks again.
Ugh. Could they just fast forward through the weird stuff and go straight to the happily ever after part? Because this part was insanely stressful. And, boy, Felicity must be feeling desperate to agree to that stupid camping trip from hell (and, by camping trip from hell, she meant any and all camping trips).
It would also help if Felicity had allowed herself more than a half-a-glass of champagne. Damn Oliver and his rule about starting off sober. At least, he was as big of a nervous wreck as she was. The adorkable bastard.
Adorkable. It was the perfect word to describe Oliver tonight and, God, it was hot. This man could walk into a room of five-hundred strangers and charm the lot of them, exhibiting perfect grace. And, here he was, in a room with his nearest and dearest, and he was an adorkable mess.
But this was the real Oliver. The Oliver Felicity loved.
Except…
Felicity couldn't help but worry that Oliver was just acting this way because she had gone too far, made him uncomfortable, gone way overboard with this whole surprise party thing. The balloons and the little kid's cake (which she really loved and just couldn't regret) and the arrow decorations and the special rented cocktail tables…
Yup, it was the tables that put it over the top. They said, 'trying too hard'. Especially, since there were only like eight people at this party. It would have been less weird if Dinah and Rene and Lyla had shown up. And if the Central City Crew weren't so involved in their own crisis, that they couldn't pop over for a party and…
Who was Felicity kidding? This wasn't a party for fifty. It was friends and family. And fancy cocktail tables didn't make up for the fact that Oliver had wanted this to be a date, not a…whatever this was.
The greatest irony was that this stupid party was probably making her more anxious, what with all the 'subtle' hints and innuendos the team had been tormenting her with. Felicity probably would have been better off it had been just her and Oliver. She was never nervous for more than a few minutes once they were alone together and now…
And now…Felicity had to wonder if some of Oliver's…discomfort was because he was feeling unsure of her. He'd been expecting a date and he had shown up to an event. Who wouldn't be confused. Was he thinking that she had done this on purpose to put up roadblocks? Because she had changed her mind?
All of which…so, so not the case. But, the fact that Oliver had called their dating 'hypothetical' (even after the whole weird Pacific Crest Trail exchange) just showed how unsure he was. And Felicity wasn't sure if her response had been all that reassuring either. Why was she such a spaz? Maybe…
"Felicity?"
Oliver's hand landed on her shoulder and Felicity really wished that it didn't make her jump. She could add that to the ever-growing list of regrets about this evening. Frak.
"You, okay?"
Great. She really must be acting weird if Oliver was asking her that. In the middle of what was supposed to be a happy event. Felicity had canceled their (probably) date for a surprise party and now she couldn't even…properly party.
"Yeah. Yeah. Of course." Pft! That was reassuring.
What the hell was wrong with her? Felicity did her best to smile, but it probably came off as moronic. Or constipated. If only she could have finished that glass of champagne. Or five.
Oliver looked about as convinced as Felicity expected him to be. Which was not at all. "Do you—?"
"Are you disappointed?" Felicity blurted out, her words overlapping Oliver's.
Awww, crap.
Crap. Crap. Crap. All Felicity could hope for now was that Oliver hadn't understood what she said, since he had been talking at the same time.
Oliver's brow furrowed. "What?"
Felicity considered lying. She really did. Oliver was giving her an out, intentional or otherwise. She should take it.
Swallowing, Felicity braced herself. What good would backtracking do her? They had been dancing around things all night and look how far that had gotten them. "Are you disappointed? That this isn't just the two of us?"
Because the last thing Felicity wanted was to disappoint him, when they had come so far in the last few days. He had opened up so much and given so many lovely apologies and tried so hard to get this right.
All Felicity had wanted to do was get this right. It was Oliver's birthday. She really had wanted it to be a new beginning. One that they would both remember fondly. And right now, all she could imagine looking back and doing was cringing.
"No," Oliver murmured, shaking his head, using the same tone he used when he said, 'hypothetically dating his ex-fiancée.' So, completely convincing. "No…" Then he paused and looked directly into Felicity's eyes, letting out a little sigh. "Maybe a little."
Points for honestly. Oliver may even be doing better than Felicity in that department which was beyond sad, honesty when it came to feelings was so much harder than it looked.
Also, Oliver really was adorable when he wrinkled his nose like that. Felicity needed to say something. Something reassuring, instead of just staring at him like a lovesick puppy. But…
"I just…" he murmured as Felicity stood chewing her on her lip and…dear lord, now he was shuffling his feet. Could he get any more lovable? "When you asked me to come over the other night, it seemed like…" Oliver looked up at her through his lashes and, seriously, it should be illegal, it was that unfair.
"That I was inviting you over for a very different kind of celebration?" Felicity finished, taking pity on him. And, maybe, herself a little too. This was painful enough without dragging it out.
Oliver shrugged. An endearing, unsure, little boy shrug. "Kind of. Yeah."
"I did." Felicity blurted. Because, maybe, she was disappointed, too, and she had no one to blame but herself. "I mean, I had something very different in mind, but I was rather drunk and the next morning it didn't seem like the best idea."
His eyes flashed disappointment. And hurt. Oliver's face shuttered and…frak. "You changed you mind…?"
Dammit! Felicity should have gone with the human birthday cake plan and to hell with the consequences!
"Noooo!" Felicity rushed to reassure, though she wasn't even sure if it was the truth. "Yes. Sort of…I mean, what I had planned when I asked you over wasn't so much taking things one step at a time as taking flying leap forward. And that seemed less…wise in the harsh morning light."
Oliver's mouth convulsed in amusement and Felicity sagged in relief. Please, let him understand!
Finally, a small grin peeked out, but he was still doing that sinful, looking at Felicity through his eyelashes thing...and how did Oliver even manage to do that given he was like a foot taller than her?
"This was a lot easier with a little liquid courage," Felicity found herself confessing and Oliver's grin spread just a bit more.
"I can get you some more champagne if you'd like?" Oliver offered, his eyes all soft and understanding.
"Oh no! Nuh uh!" Seriously? Felicity had not gone through all this to take the easy way out now. "I have had exactly one-third a glass of Merlot and a half glass of champagne. I'm not even remotely drunk. I'm not even buzzed, so…"
Okay, now she was babbling. Like an idiot. She was nervous as hell, but…what Felicity wanted was so much clearer with Oliver smiling down at her with those soft, soft eyes. Perhaps, it was less the alcohol and more his proximity that made it so much easier the other night.
Swallowing, Felicity pressed forward, "So if you want to...say linger after everyone else is gone…? Maybe we can have that very sober conversation that you mentioned the other night? Maybe we can tidy up and then…?"
Then they could have that very clear-headed first kiss, the one that counted. And after…
Oliver let loose a blinding smile. "You know how much I enjoy housekeeping."
The really bizarre thing was, Oliver did. Spoiled little rich boy, adored keeping house. And had been living in a Bunker for fourteen months.
It was heartbreaking.
Almost as if on cue, Thea approached Oliver from behind. Standing up on her toes, she put her arms around her brother's shoulders and leaned her cheek on his upper arm. "So, birthday boy? Old Man Quentin is heading home and since I'm on the way, I'm going to hitch a ride with him."
It was an obvious lie. Thea had driven there herself.
But Oliver didn't know that. Felicity had to bite her lip and look away to keep from giving anything away. Far be it from her to contradict Thea. Especially, since she was, clearly, trying to help. God knew Felicity needed all the help she could get.
Oliver turned to hug his sister. "Thank you, Speedy. For everything." He whispered the words against Thea's temple, but Felicity heard it and...
Well, for the first time, Felicity thought, maybe, she hadn't done the wrong thing in having a family celebration. Especially, if Thea and the others headed out nice and early so they could still have their not-so-hypothetical date.
Oliver pressed a kiss to his sister's forehead and Thea smiled up at him, saying, "After you get out of City Hall tomorrow, I'll take you sock shopping."
Felicity started to choke, which she managed to turn into a cough that left Thea looking at her with narrowed eyes and Oliver rubbing Felicity's back soothingly (the last part wasn't bad at all).
"It's a date," Oliver told his sister, pointedly ignoring Felicity's convulsions, and smiling with (Felicity knew) false enthusiasm at Thea.
How did he say that with a straight face? Felicity swore, if Oliver started getting an influx of gift socks she didn't know what she would do.
As soon as she closed the door behind Thea and Quintin, Felicity turned to Oliver and whispered, "Are you going to tell her that you don't really need new socks?"
Oliver's eyes widened in mock innocence. "I always need new socks."
Felicity smothered a semi-hysterical laugh. "Oliver, Thea's going to think you have a weird sock…thing?"
"Sock...thing?" Oliver's eyes crinkled at the corners and his voice dropped an octave and…finally, some good honest flirtation. Without alcohol. "What sort of sock thing?"
But, now, if Felicity wanted to continue this…she to actually had to continue it. And her nerves hadn't calmed enough for the flirting to flow freely yet. Frak.
Tilting her head and batting her eyes, Felicity (God, hoped she didn't look ridiculous) murmured, "Not sure. It's your sock thing. Though, I have to wonder if it's the sort of thing you want to share with your baby sister of all people?"
Felicity felt that her supposedly brilliant mind should have been able to come up with something wittier, but Oliver's dimples popped out and he leaned in close so she was pretty pleased with the results, all things considered. They were both woefully out of practice with this flirting thing.
"Hey, man," John interrupted with a hand clasp on Oliver's shoulder, but Felicity forgave the interference because he quickly made an (again, fake) excuse to leave so he could Skype with Lyla before she went to bed (because the director of ARGUS had a strict bedtime). And even better, he turned to Curtis, with a firm, "Come on, Curtis, I'll walk you out."
Yeah…Digg really didn't do subtle. But he was still Felicity's favorite.
Curtis, the lovable clueless…idiot, just shook his head. "Nah. I think I'll stay and help Felicity clean up."
Hands down. Digg was her favorite. Now, Curtis...it took everything in Felicity not to let out an audible sigh of frustration
"Don't you have to get that modulator thing to Dinah?" Digg prodded, this time with an even less subtle tone.
Except…still too subtle for Curtis. "Oh, I can drop it off after," he told Digg in a cheerful tone, not even seeming to notice John's very pointed and rather annoyed look. And John's annoyed look was pretty damn intimidating.
Wow, maybe, Curtis really did have a concussion.
"I can help Felicity clean up," Oliver threw out, apparently, deciding that Digg needed backup. Which he did, but it also drew all eyes to him and…
Oliver stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked away. Yup, that was pretty damn subtle as well. Was there ever a more socially inept group?
"Dude, it's your birthday." Curtis actually looked horrified by the idea. "You can't clean up at your own party." It would have been endearing if it didn't make Felicity want to cry.
Digg didn't even bother to hide his eye-roll this time. "Dude, maybe, I should take you to the hospital and get your head checked out."
Curtis stood there, confused, long enough for Felicity to think that the hospital might just be a good idea and wonder if she should step in, but if she did, God only knew what would come out of her mouth.
Felicity was five seconds away from blurting out that she and Oliver needed alone time when finally…finally, Curtis' eyes went comically wide and he babbled, "Oh…ooooh…right! I should definitely bring this to Dinah. Tonight. Right now, in fact."
Thank frak.
Huffing out a long-suffering sigh, Digg shook his head. "Say goodnight, Curtis."
"Bye, guys!" Curtis said way too brightly. Had someone let him drink with a head injury? Is that what was going on? "Happy Birthday, Oliver!" Then he turned to Felicity and mouthed, "I'll call you," his hand up to his ear like a mock phone and it was all suddenly clear.
This entire, ridiculous display was because Curtis wanted to stay behind and grill Felicity about Oliver. Awesome. It was like high school all over again. If she had actually dated in high school. Or had friends.
Felicity really, really wanted to tell Curtis she'd talk to him tomorrow and not to call unless someone was mortal danger, but that might have been a little too much, especially with Oliver standing right next to her. She didn't trust Curtis not to make another scene. And the last thing she wanted was something that would keep him there one minute longer.
"Goodnight, John. Night, Curtis," Felicity ushered (and, maybe, kinda even pushed) Curtis through the door, then paused (briefly) to give John a quick kiss on the cheek and a murmured, "Thank you."
When Felicity finally…fi-na-lly got the door closed, she turned to Oliver…
What…the…?
Felicity expected to find Oliver right where she had left him. Next to her. But…
Scanning the room…oh dear God.
Oliver was in the kitchen, pulling out storage containers Felicity honestly forgot they…she had. All ready starting to 'tidy up'.
"What are you doing?" Felicity gasped, watching in shock as Oliver brought them over to the cake and began to meticulously pack it up. "Oliver, you don't actually have to clean up your own party."
Wasn't it obvious that that was ruse? An excuse for alone time? The mess could sure as hell wait. Felicity's nerves could not.
But Oliver was smiling softly, looking oddly content. He was such a strange man. "I don't want your amazing cake going to waste."
Well, at least, the cake was a success. "You know, I didn't invite you to stay, because I needed help cleaning up." It seemed so wrong for Oliver to pack up his own cake, and besides, Felicity was hoping they could…she didn't really know, but…do or say something, anything, that would officially move them past all this awkward beginning…crap. "I can do it later—"
Oliver paused and leveled her a serious (and very honest) look. "Felicity, there is, truthfully, no place I'd rather be. Nothing I'd rather be doing."
"Really?"
Felicity was, frankly, shocked at how much innuendo she had managed to pack into that one little word. Without even trying. Or giving herself permission to do so.
It was worth it, though, because the look Oliver sent her was so hot, so…dear God, it made Felicity's legs rubbery.
"Well, maybe, not nothing I'd rather do." And the sexy rumble in Oliver's voice…this was what she was talking about. Flirting at its prime.
But Oliver went right back to packing up the cake, quickly falling into his bashful domestic routine and it was so…adorable and, somehow, equally hot, and so not the Oliver Queen the public would expect that…oddly, it made Felicity giggle.
Oliver's eyes flew to hers and Felicity's eyes widened in mild panic. "That was not a giggle," she defended. No way were they going down this path again. "I am not drunk. That was…a chuckle. A slightly high-pitched chuckle, but a chuckle all the same." She almost believed it.
Thankfully, Oliver didn't call her out on it. He just gave her a soft chuckle of his own and stacked the, now full, containers and carried them back to the kitchen. Felicity grabbed two half-empty champagne glasses and scurried behind him.
Once Oliver had placed the cake in the refrigerator, Felicity placed a hand on his arm to stop him from doing more, pleading softly, "Really, this can wait."
If they didn't move on to…whatever they were moving on to, Felicity was going to explode.
Oliver froze, his frighteningly intelligent blue gaze looking her over as if it could see straight into her soul. Finally, he murmured, "Okay." And…
Then his hands were back in his pockets and Oliver was doing that shuffling thing again…what a pair they made. At least, Felicity didn't have to worry about him being able to read her mind. He wouldn't be nearly this nervous if he had that particular ability.
"So, we should talk…" Felicity said, trying to move things along, but she was no better than he was, standing there wringing her hands.
It would help, of course, if Felicity knew what they were supposed to talk about. They'd hit her top twenty important topics while they were stuck in the tunnels under the Bunker and then, after, in the Med Bay at ARGUS. Now, she was mostly interested in…moving beyond the talking stuff.
Oliver nodded, but didn't say anything, which was rather annoying, since, as Felicity had been obsessing about all night…she didn't know what the hell they had left to talk about!
Great, now Felicity was getting really nervous again and…
Then Oliver lifted his head and Felicity met his eyes and…the anxiety just…drifted away.
Felicity just kind of got lost there for a while.
And it was good. A good kind of lost.
"You look really beautiful tonight," Oliver whispered after who knew how long.
But it was Oliver's tone, all velvety rough, that sent chills down Felicity's spine, all the while turning her blood into liquid honey so her whole body felt…more.
This. If they could just do this all night, that would be okay.
Felicity smiled. Though, she wouldn't be surprised if it trembled just a bit on her lips, and placed a hand on Oliver's lapel. It was amazing how touching him, even a touch as simple as this one, grounded her. "You don't look too shabby yourself."
Then there was more gazing and more smiling. And it might have been several more minutes before either of them said anything.
At long last, Oliver said, "I love your dress. It's a fantastic color for you."
Felicity chuckled (she was almost proud that she didn't giggle. She was feeling oddly giddy). Oh, and look, her hands was still on his lapel. "We could just stand here all night exchanging compliments or we could…go over to the couch and…talk…"
And by 'talk' Felicity meant make out like bunnies, but, well, one step at a time and all. She'd settle for holding hands at the moment.
"Oh…yeah." Oliver seemed to wake up. He shook his head and blinked his eyes as if snapping out of a trance and…then he seemed to get nervous again. Greeeat. "Let's…"
Oliver extended his hand, gesturing for Felicity to go ahead, ever the gentleman. Would it be weird if she just grabbed it?
She didn't. Grab his hand, that was. She just barely managed to keep from wringing hers (again) as she walked ahead of him and settled on the couch. Oliver followed and they turned and looked at one another and…yeah, Felicity still didn't have a freakin' clue what to say.
"So…" Felicity tried prompting, praying Oliver would know where to begin.
"So…" Yeah, no. From the look on Oliver's face he wasn't feeling any more…directed than she was. This wasn't good. "You look gorgeous."
Okay, not that Felicity was complaining, but…she laughed. A smile spread across her face as she whispered, "You already said that."
"It bared repeating," Oliver murmured with a shrug and…this should feel awkward, but it didn't. So, that was something at least. If they were going to have an awkward non-conversation it was good that it felt…not awkward.
Wow, that was a lot of thoughts that made no sense what-so-ever.
They really needed to move on from compliments and gazing. And it looked like Felicity wasn't getting off the hook for this one. Swallowing, she tried prompting, "The other night, you said that we needed to talk? As in have a sober talk…before we…?"
Had a really awesome make-out session that perhaps ended in bed? Cause Felicity was all for jumping to the end part. Or…she should just end their misery now and jump him.
Anxiety flared in Oliver's eyes. (Yup, terrible at the mind reading thing). "Oh…right…I did…"
Oh God, if Oliver didn't know what to say, they were in trouble. Jumping him was sounding better and better. Felicity suppressed a groan and, instead, tried, "You must have had something in mind when you said that."
Oliver's eyes widened even more and Felicity could see a flare of panic. "No…I…maybe…" He stopped (thank God) and blew out a breath. He was clearly not happy with his inability to take control of this situation. Felicity wanted to help, but…she had nothin'.
Finally, Oliver said with more surety, "Felicity," and he held out a palm.
Gratefully, Felicity placed her hand in his and Oliver smiled, looking relieved (that made two of them), and began, "What, I think I meant was that I want…I wanted…want to make sure that there isn't anything left between us. That there are no more questions or..." He grunted in frustration. "I wanted to make sure that we're both on the same page."
Felicity watched Oliver swallow, gathering his courage. Her big strong Green Arrow. Terrified of defining their relationship. Of being rejected. It just made her love him more.
But it didn't stop Felicity from asking, softly and only half-teasing, "Well, what page are you on?"
That had Oliver taking an even shaker breath and Felicity almost felt bad. I was a loaded question. And she was making him take the risk by defining it first.
"Felicity, I love you."
Wow. Okay.
Her heart, maybe, skipped a beat.
Felicity knew that he loved her. Of course, she knew. But Oliver had said it so rarely since…well, since she'd broken up with him. It made sense that he hadn't been throwing the words around willy nilly. She just wasn't expecting it as his opening play.
Nor was she expecting Oliver to continue, saying, "Let me clarify that. So, I'm absolutely clear. I'm in love with you."
And Oliver eyes were so intense, so serious, that it brought tears to hers. Felicity shifted her hand to entwine their fingers and squeezed.
It seemed to encourage him and, taking a breath, Oliver continued, "I've been in love with you for so long…I don't even know when it started, but I know it never stopped and I…I want to be with you. I want to try and do it right this time. I want it to last for…" His eyes fell closed and he squeezed them shut for a moment. "I understand if you're not all the way there with me, yet, but I need to know that we're at least on the same page with the destination—"
"We're on the same page," Felicity interrupted, because yes, yes, yes. To all of it. "All the way there. No reservations. Destination, journey, everything." Because if Oliver was laying it all out there, it seemed only fair that she did the same.
And Felicity was glad she did, because all the tension bled out of Oliver in one great whoosh, leaving his shoulders sagging and a large smile spreading across his face. The big beautiful one with the dimples. "Okay. Good. That's good."
Good. Okay.
It was time for Oliver to kiss her now.
And…
Felicity really didn't understand why he wasn't.
But Oliver didn't seem in any hurry. Actually, sitting there, holding hands, he was staring at Felicity as if this was all he wanted to do with his life. Which was rather sweet, but…
"Is there…something else you wanted to talk about?" Felicity asked, just to make sure.
Oliver shook his head, "Nope. I'm good."
Felicity almost laughed. Wow, the love-sick look in Oliver's eyes was something. Even with everything they had been through, it was sometimes hard to believe it was directed at her.
"But…" Oliver started again, seeming to finally sense that Felicity was waiting for something more. "I mean, if you have any questions…any lingering concerns about the breakup or getting back together…I'll tell you anything you want to know."
Wow…okay, wow. Just when Felicity thought he couldn't say anything more…right. It was almost weird, seeing Oliver so open and honest. She didn't know what to say.
"I…I think…" Because it seemed like Felicity was going to have to say something. Though, she could just kiss him. There was an idea. She liked that one, actually. "Honestly, I'm feeling pretty…resolved. Between being stuck in the Bunker and the ARGUS Med Bay and even the other night…I feel like we got all the important stuff…out. Unless you…?"
"No. Nope. I totally agree." Oliver's eyes were wide and happy and open as he nodded.
"So…" Breathe, Smoak. "…we're on the same page…" Why was Felicity repeating herself?
"The same page," Oliver agreed and, at least, he seemed to have the same articulation problem Felicity did, but then again with the dimples…okay, that was her excuse. How was she supposed to think with the dimples? "So, we're doing this then? One step at a time…"
And…that just left Felicity feeling frustrated. "Maybe, I do have a question," she blurted out.
Oliver's face became more serious (and, maybe, a little nervous) but just as open. He nodded, encouraging her.
Okay, then. "So, what are these steps everyone talks about?" The question burst out of Felicity in a rush and it was a relief, because it had been driving her crazy!
Huffing out an amused breath, Oliver looked as relieved as she felt and that made her feel even better, so…
Frak, it then. Felicity opened her mouth and a veritable gust of words came out, "It's just that I'm kind of feeling lost as to where we're supposed to start. I don't think I've ever began any of my relationships…I dunno, traditionally? I mean, we were friends and partners, then we were in love and when we finally slept together it was in the full understanding that the next day you would probably be lost to me forever, but then, suddenly, you weren't, and then we were running away together…"
Wow. All those words she couldn't find earlier? Felicity seemed to have found them.
"We didn't really take the normal steps," Oliver finally reiterated, softly and gently. He really seemed to be thinking about everything Felicity had said. "Do you think that was part of the reason things fell apart?"
She hadn't considered that, but…who knew? "I have no idea. I don't know if it would have helped if we'd gone slower. Do you think we would have…communicated better if we…?" Felicity trailed off, not even knowing what she was supposed to say? What would they have done differently?
Oliver shook his head, looking as unsure as Felicity felt. "Maybe? But, I…nothing about our trip…or Ivytown felt rushed to me. It's impossible for me to regret any of that, but I'm not the best frame of reference."
Felicity had to laugh at that, "And I am?" Oliver couldn't think that she was. "All my relationships…Ray, Cooper, they all just happened. No traditional dating. Friends to sex…then, somehow…poof: relationship." Wow, it didn't really sound good put like that? No wonder all her relationships failed.
Thankfully, Oliver wasn't looking at her like Felicity was a screw up. But he was biased and, also, as he said, not the best frame of reference.
"But this whole 'steps' thing seems…" Silly? Weird? "Foreign." That was a good word. Foreign.
But just when Felicity was feeling just a tiny bit good about putting this into words, Oliver asked, "What about Billy?"
Whoa! Where did that come from? Oliver must be feeling more secure if he was willing to bring up Billy. Or really insecure.
Swallowing, Felicity managed to ask, "What about Billy?" She really didn't know. They question threw her.
Oliver shrugged, but he was tense again, looking like he wanted Felicity to think this was a no-big-deal question, when it was a really-insanely-big-deal question. "I meant…did you two take the…normal steps?"
His muscles were coiled tight by the time his question was out and Felicity could see that jealousy tic Oliver got in his jaw.
"Billy…well…" Felicity tried to think of something reassuring to say (because tonight was supposed to be about new beginning not past relationships), but when she thought about it… "Huh. I guess, we did go about things more traditionally. We started with coffee, then lunch, then dinner…" She really couldn't see how any further details were going to help. "But that seemed more natural than this."
Great, that sounded awful. Felicity rushed to add, "I mean, it made sense to go at that pace, because we didn't know each other. At all. So, the 'getting to know you' steps were logical. But we…you and me…we already know each other. Does that make any sense at all?"
Oliver nodded, slowly. The tic eased a bit and he was…listening. It caused Felicity's belly butterflies to go nuts. There was something…intoxicating, maybe…about being the total focus of Oliver Queen's attention.
Felicity swallowed and tried to put into words the thoughts that were racing through her head as connections…connected. "Then, once Billy and I had gotten to know each other a little." 'A little,' because compared to her and Oliver it still felt shallow and surface-y. "It was about seeing if we were going to fall in love…which, of course, was never gonna happen since I was still in love with you and…"
Okay…was that a good thing to say? It felt disrespectful to Billy's memory, but it made Oliver's tic go away completely and replaced it with a borderline worshipful look.
Wow, all right. Felicity still wasn't sure if this was fair to Billy, but the look in Oliver's eyes…she could easily get addicted to it.
Oliver Queen, Felicity Smoak's drug of choice.
Felicity took a deep breath, she needed to keep them on something resembling a track. Because she really wanted to get where they not want it to lead. "The point is, we've accomplished all those goals. We know each other. We're already in love. We're leaps and bounds ahead of where Billy and I were after six months of dating, so rewinding just seems…weird. Wrong, almost."
Was 'wrong' too strong a word?
"Dishonest," Oliver added with a small smile and Felicity was so relieved. He got it. She shouldn't have doubted it. No one had ever gotten her like Oliver did.
"Yeah," Felicity agreed with a sigh. It felt like going backwards, like they were following a poorly written script.
Oliver squeezed her hand, drawing her attention back to his eyes, "You know that you had every right to try to move on Billy, right?"
Felicity opened and closed her mouth, feeling a little like she might cry. Those words meant a lot to her, not the least of which, because she knew it was so hard for Oliver to say them.
"I…" Facility tried to say she did. To nod at the very least. Instead, she asked, "What about Susan Williams?"
Why she even brought the dreaded woman's name up, Felicity had no idea. The transition barely made sense, but…
God, the woman reminded Felicity of Isabel Rochev and she knew she had no right to hate her the way she did, but…just like Isabel, Felicity really didn't understand the attraction. Well, except the attractiveness. As in the physical attractiveness. But that was it. Nothing else. Oliver had absolutely nothing in common with that woman.
Why did it feel insulting that the man she loved was drawn to woman like that? Sara, she got? Laurel, sure…but Susan Williams?
"What about her?" Oliver asked, sounding genuinely confused. But, then again, Felicity didn't know what she was asking either.
"You two seemed to be taking things one step at a time." It wasn't what she really wanted to know, but at least it, sort of, made sense with the conversation they were having. And if there was a jealous edge to her voice, Felicity was going to ignore it.
Oliver's lip quirked up and he gave a self-deprecating laugh. "That was less us taking it one step at a time, as me dragging my feet."
And if Oliver thought that would make Felicity feel better…well, it did.
"Felicity..." Oliver reached out and took her other hand as well. "I only…" He took a breath. "I only let things progress with Susan after I had given up all hope of there ever being an us again. And I, still…looking back, it feels like it was the wrong thing to do. But if I tell you any of the reasons why, I'm just going to sound like a hypocrite, so…I think I'm just going to keep my mouth shut."
That made Felicity laugh out loud. It was actually…delightful. And, suddenly, she didn't care why Oliver chose the dragon lady (Thea's name, not hers), because she just wasn't important. Oliver never chose her over Felicity, he was just…lonely and Susan was there.
But she wasn't there anymore. And Felicity was and…looking in Oliver's eyes now, she knew, with absolute certainty, he wouldn't want it any other way. And neither would she.
When her laughter finally faded, Oliver asked, the happy smile back on his face, "So what step feels honest to you? Right?"
Making love right now? Right here? That sounded pretty honest.
"I think…" Okay, serious answer time. (Though, there was a voice in the back of Felicity's head telling her she was pretty serious about making love right now, right here). "Maybe the middle part?" Did that make sense? "The part between the awkward dating that feels so…."
Felicity was struggling to find the right word when Oliver supplied, "Awkward?"
She laughed. Oliver was playing with her fingers and that was feeling anything, but awkward. "Yeah, but, maybe, not jump to…" Felicity trailed off, she was having trouble coming up with anything that would feel like too much, right then.
"Running off to Vegas to get married?" Oliver offered with a playful grin. He was clearly enjoying this finishing her sentences thing. Now that she thought about it, she'd really missed that too.
"My mother would love that," Felicity chuckled.
"I would love that." Oliver's tone was just as light as hers. It was even a tad self-deprecating, but…
Well, Felicity still stopped breathing. And she had to ask, "Are you serious?" And the scariest part…how not scary the idea was.
Oliver's expression immediately became sober. "No." He scrunched up his face and shook his head. "Yes…I mean, I know that's not what's best for us in the long run. And Felicity, I'm all about the long run."
Felicity had forgotten or, maybe, she just hadn't let herself think about…how goddamn perfect Oliver could be sometimes.
Smiling so hard she could feel the muscles in her face straining, Felicity took a deep breath and said, "So, maybe, we put aside the elopement…" Because it wasn't off the table. At some future point. "And, say…plan a trip to the Pacific Crest Trail in the next couple weeks?"
Oliver beamed. "You would really do that for me?"
She shrugged. If Oliver kept looking at her like that, kept saying such wonderful things, there wasn't a lot Felicity wouldn't do for him. "If you promise to buy me the right socks." Besides, being anywhere completely alone with him, sounded like heaven.
"Honey, I'll buy you the best socks money can buy. Dozens of them," Oliver pledged and it was the first time he had called her 'honey' since the break-up that he didn't stop half-way through or wince after he'd said it.
"Deal."
"But…" He let go of her hand to reach out and stroke Felicity's cheek. "We don't have to go camping. We should go somewhere we both like." Oliver bit his lip and tipped his head down, doing that damn looking at her through his eyelashes thing again. "Somewhere with a big soft bed."
Those last words were barely a whisper, but, God, they made Felicity squirm. She felt the words like a physical touch. Finally. Beds. They should talk more about the beds.
"Like Bali?" Felicity suggested, because she swore, they had the best beds.
Oliver's smile only grew. "Bali's perfect."
He was perfect. Just thinking about it made Felicity's chest tight in the best possible way. "We don't have to pick. We can go to the Pacific Crest Trail in a few weeks, then plan a trip to Bali in a few months. After the city is all cleaned up from our latest big bad, Mr. Mayor." She hadn't planned to say the last all husky and suggestive, but she was glad that she did when she saw Oliver shudder.
It gave Felicity the courage to add, "And, Oliver, there's a nice soft bed right upstairs."
This time, Felicity was pretty sure that it was Oliver who stopped breathing.
"Are you sure?" Oliver asked, but his eyes were pleading with Felicity. It was obvious the answer he wanted. "It's not too fast?"
He really was ridiculous sometimes. Also, Felicity was so very tired of sleeping without him. "Oliver, I'm pretty sure that the middle of the relationship involves sleepovers at the very l—"
"Christ, Felicity!"
Then Oliver's lips were on hers.
And it was about fricken time!
Also, had Felicity mentioned that she loved how quickly Oliver could move? Frak, it was a turn on.
She let out a little moan of, 'God, yes,' as Oliver's hands enveloped her face. They were gentle. So gentle. Felicity could easily pull away if she wanted to. Why the hell would she want to?
The kiss was soft, shallow, savoring. A perfect beginning.
Finally.
This was what tonight was supposed to be. This.
After several long moments, Oliver pulled back, just far enough for his eyes to blink open and look into hers. Then they darted over Felicity's face, as if to make sure this was okay, to make sure this was real.
But, maybe, Felicity was just projecting that last part.
She smiled in encouragement, her tongue chasing his taste, lingering on her lower lip. And Oliver smiled, his eyes following the path of Felicity's tongue and then…
They met in the middle.
It was a beautiful metaphor. Even if they didn't have very far to move.
Kissing Oliver was…unlike anything. They moved together seamlessly. Instinctively. It really had ruined Felicity for anyone else, because nothing else could possibly be so flawless. No one else would ever match her so effortlessly. With lips and tongues and complete synchrony.
Oliver made Felicity feel adored and that made her desperate for him to feel the same. It made her want to worship him, because she felt worshipped.
When Oliver tipped his head to the side, angling his lips so that he could deepen the kiss, Felicity was right there with him. In fact, she couldn't say that she wasn't the one who initiated it. But, then, their lips were wide open, yet perfectly sealed, and their tongues stroked one another's and, God, it felt so good.
Felicity had missed this. Missed it more than she had let herself contemplate. She curled her hand around his neck and the feel of his stubble...no, it wasn't stubble any more. Oliver had a beard now. It was short, but longer than it had been and softer, yet still so familiar.
And, suddenly, Felicity wasn't close enough. Not nearly close enough.
Their lips didn't have a fraction of a breath between them, their mouths were as close as they could physically get, but sitting next to him on the couch, even twisted toward each other as they were…it didn't allow for the kind of contact that Felicity wanted. Craved. Also, as she slipped her hand into the collar of his shirt, it became abundantly clear that Oliver was wearing way too many clothes.
It was absurd how many layers of formal wear men had, especially given woman wore so little. Felicity had plenty of skin showing, yet Oliver's hands stayed respectfully above her neck and, even though she loved that gentle stroke of his thumb, she wished he would be less respectful and more...just more.
Turning her body more fully toward him, Felicity pulled her leg onto the couch and got up on her knees, trying to press closer. And still not close enough. A little frustrated whimper escaped and…oh, frak it all.
Felicity swung her leg over Oliver's and, not pausing to let either of them think about it (not that she needed to think about it), she settled onto his lap. She was pretty sure that she could have done it without losing contact with his lips, but he pulled away with a soft groan.
"Fuck, Felicity," and the way Oliver gasped it, Felicity got the feeling that the words didn't emerge voluntarily, and that, kinda, made her already damp places…damper.
Smiling down at him, she settled her body against his, melting into him. Felicity was feeling rather delirious and it was amazing. This was why the idea of a first date was ridiculous, because not first date ever felt this…familiar…comfortable…so perfectly right. Even their first time which had been beautiful and exciting and explosive, even that didn't feel…
This felt like something that was missing for months was finally where it belonged, like…finally being home after so long.
But still it was as beautiful and exciting and explosive as the first time.
"Felicity?" Oliver panted and he just looked…delicious. All disheveled. Blue eyes glassy and heavy lidded. Slumped and panting. His hair all mussed.
Simply delicious.
Yet, Oliver was still looking for reassurance. Didn't he feel how…natural this all felt? How effortlessly, honestly pure? Maybe, he did, but his old confidence wasn't there yet and his eyes were asking…no begging for permission. His hands fell to her knees, but his arms were tense and…as desperate as he looked he wouldn't move them until she gave the okay.
It was heartbreaking and so sweet and…
"Just go with it, Oliver," Felicity murmured, leaning forward and nipping at his lips, hoping that would cover a whole range of permissions. All the permission. Given with love.
Groaning, Oliver plunged back into the kiss as if he needed it to breathe, his hands finally slipping under the skirt of her dress as their heads tilted and tongues tangled, sucking…
Felicity pressed closer. Until her breasts were smooshed against the fine cut of Oliver's suit jacket…yeah, that had to go.
Slipping her hands inside, Felicity pushed the offending garment off his shoulders. Oliver groaned, but leaned forward oh-so-helpfully and let his hands drop from her body just long enough for her to pull the jacket free.
All Felicity was able to accomplish was to push the jacket behind him, before Oliver pulled her back (finally), his arm banding around her waist as they sank back into the kiss, quickly regaining any ground they had lost during the maneuvering.
His hand made its way back under her skirt and slid up her thigh, slowly, but with confidence this time and Felicity shuddered and hummed her encouragement against his lips. But as Oliver's large calloused hand settled on her satin clad ass (should she have gone with the thong after all?), his lips fell from hers and he gasped, "Is this okay?"
Frak. Really? Felicity rolled her eyes, before she could tell herself not to. "Tell you what? If you go too far, I'll use our safe word."
Oliver's face stretched into a delighted grin. They had often joked about safe words, though they had never done anything remotely kinky enough to need one.
Felicity reached for his lips with hers, but Oliver stopped her with a laugh. "I don't remember what our safe word is."
"Me neither."
And Felicity dove back in, not letting him pull away this time. Because it really didn't matter. There was nothing Oliver was going to do tonight that she wasn't 100% on board with.
And, this time, Oliver didn't pull back. As a matter of fact, he did the opposite and growled…which, lord, she looooved. It was just so…Oliver that she could barely stand it. Plus, Felicity's tongue was already in his mouth so the sound reverberated through her in the most amazing and familiar way.
This time, both of his hands quickly found her ass and squeezed, kneading the muscles. It wasn't hard, but it was enough that she wondered if Oliver could feel how drenched she was becoming. If he would just take a few more liberties and slip those little pinky fingers under the hem of her panties…the mystery would be solved.
But Oliver was taking it slow. So fraking slow.
But that was fine. It was awesome, really. After all this time, Felicity could be patient and enjoy the slow build…
Crap. No, she couldn't. It had been forever and Felicity was dyyyying here.
Oliver's hands were magic. And also torture. The drag and pull as he molded her ass, encouraging the gentle rolling rhythm of her hips as they started moving out of pure instinct. Not that she had any desire to stop it. She had no vested interest in a slow build. Felicity had had enough anticipation to last a lifetime.
When Oliver's hips started to follow hers, Felicity remembered what heaven felt like.
They weren't on a full-on grind (yet), but any second now. And Oliver loose dress pants…they were doing absolutely nothing to hide how much he was enjoying himself. But when his lips fell away again, Felicity braced herself for more second guessing.
Then Oliver's mouth attacked the line of her neck and Felicity let her head fall back with a relieved sigh. And, maybe, also, a very different kind of sigh.
"God, I love you," Oliver murmured against Felicity's skin as he dragged his lips down the column of her throat to her cleavage and—
Felicity's phone went off.
Her goddamn, fraking phone.
And what was worse, Felicity would know that ring-tone anywhere. Goddamn it, Curtis!
She was so ignoring him. So, so ignoring him.
But it was damn distracting and after a second, Oliver whispered between the kisses he was pressing along her collarbone, "Felicity, Honey?"
Frak. If Curtis got Mr. Worry-Wort going again, Felicity was never going to forgive him.
"It's just Curtis. He'll leave a message," Felicity panted, hoping beyond hope that that would be the end of it.
"Wasn't he going to Dinah's? Did she ever tell you why she didn't make it?"
Guess not.
Double frak.
Felicity groaned. It was times like these, when being part of a vigilante crime-fighting team just sucked.
Very deliberately, Felicity leaned over Oliver to get the phone on the table behind the couch, which caused her to push her (albeit modest) cleavage right into his face, making him groan.
He totally deserved it. That's what Oliver got for telling Felicity that she had to pick up the damn phone (even if he only implied it). Just when things were getting really good, too
"Hello." It took a lot of effort to not sound as irritated as she felt.
"Hey, girl, is he still there?" Curtis immediately sang, innuendo dripping from his voice.
Goddamn, fraking Curtis.
Wrinkling her nose, Felicity pulled back enough to frown down at Oliver. She wanted him to see her displeasure. She knew she shouldn't have answered the damn phone. "If you thought Oliver was still here, why would you call me?"
Oliver smiled, so very cowed by her annoyed face. When had that stopped working? He leaned into her, his hands running up and down Felicity's back in long, soothing strokes.
They weren't soothing enough to deal with her now ex-best friend.
"I figured if there was anything hot and heavy going on, you wouldn't pick up."
Of course, he did.
Shooting Oliver another hard glare, Felicity mouthed, "I told you so," which wasn't completely true, but he looked far too amused for her taste. Shouldn't he be annoyed at the interruption too?
But Oliver looked like he was too happy to be annoyed by anything and it was really hard for Felicity irritated with him when he looked at her like that.
Oliver motioned for her to lean closer so he could hear as well and Felicity was going just about to when Curtis said, "I was actually hoping that you wouldn't answer and that you and Mayor Hottie were getting your sizzle on."
Okay, no. This was embarrassing enough without Oliver listening into Curtis' adolescent rambles.
Felicity let herself fall off Oliver's lap (did she mention Curtis was now her ex-best friend) and onto the couch, away from prying ears. This was so not what she wanted to be doing right now.
And Curtis kept talking. And talking. And talking.
Felicity really needed better friends.
Oliver gave her a sympathetic look before mouthing that he was going to run upstairs to the restroom and Felicity should wrap up quickly (ya think?). But he used hand motions and it was kind of adorable, so she figured she'd forgive him. Also, he dropped a kiss on her shoulder and he didn't seem to be leaving the Loft any time soon, both of which were good things. Very, very good things.
Felicity nodded as she watched Oliver stand and make his way to the stairs. Those dress pants did incredible things for his ass. An ass she had every intention of getting her hands on.
Soon.
All Felicity had to do was get rid of Curtis.
Unfurling herself from the couch, Felicity kept her hands busy, gathering up dishes from the party and praying her short, sarcastic answers would…who was she kidding? Curtis was being way too obtuse tonight to pick up anything.
But he had gotten to Dinah's by that point and, hopefully, as soon as she made an appearance, Felicity could get back to working on that sexual tension that Curtis kept going on and on and on…
Except, frak!
Please, don't tell her there was a more nefarious reason for Dinah not showing up at the party than work running late.
Please. Please, God. Please.
For once, couldn't Felicity and Oliver have a single night to—?
"Oh no!"
Okay, that was not a good 'oh no.' Not that 'oh no' was ever good…
"Oh no, what!?"
This is what the big idiot got for going in without back up. She should have insisted he wait. Dammit. He probably already had a concussion. If he got hurt…
All ready feeling guilty for any mean thoughts she had about her friend, Felicity started to walk toward the stairs to get Oliver. So much for their romantic evening.
Then the line went dead.
Fuck her life!
"Curtis…Curtis!"
Frak, frak, frak!
Oh God. Please, let him be okay. And Dinah too. This was so, so not good.
Letting the arm holding the phone fall to her side, Felicity screamed, "Oliver!"
He was at the balcony of the upper level in instant, because, of course, he was. "Felicity?" Oliver looked ready to leap over the railing, which, really, was overkill, but she couldn't say it wasn't reassuring.
"We need to go!" Pushing down the fear building in her belly, Felicity grabbed her keys and her bag. "Curtis and Dinah are in trouble."
Oliver was downstairs and next to her by the time Felicity got the door open. She really hoped that he hadn't leapt off the balcony. His knee didn't need the unnecessary stress.
"What's going on?"
Shaking her head, because, really, she didn't know, Felicity told Oliver what little she did know as they stepped into the hall and she began to lock the door behind them.
"…then the line went dead and…"
Wonderful, now Felicity's voice had a hysterical edge. Poor Curtis. They never should have let him go out alone with that head injury. They should have sent Digg with him when they didn't hear from Dinah...
Thank God for Oliver's instincts, because who knew what would have happened if Felicity hadn't answered the phone, but…
Why couldn't things ever go right for them? Just for one night? This was why they didn't take baby steps. With their lives, they didn't have time for baby steps!
Oliver started to walk ahead. "I'll get over—"
Felicity reached out and seized his arm, "No!" The last thing they needed was Oliver running off half-cocked and disappearing as well. "Curtis went in without back up and look what happened. We're going to call John, then you're going to drop me off at the Bunker and get the comms and weapons and—"
Oliver cut her off with a hard kiss, then grabbed her hand. "Fine. Let's go."
He was already pulling her down the hallway, before Felicity could even process how quickly Oliver had, actually, listened to her. She hadn't even had to argue. Wow. Okay then.
But, unfortunately, they didn't have time for…anything. Their friends were in trouble. Felicity lifted her phone again. It was ringing before she got it to her ear, prayers for her friend's safety humming in the back of her mind.
"John…"
Author's Note:
When I was writing this chapter, specifically about Felicity's drunken fantasy of how she wanted to celebrate Oliver's birthday, it occurred to me that I really wanted to write that. So I did (even though I still have way too much on my writing plate) and I'm really glad I did because I really love it and hope you do too.
Best Birthday Ever is now up. The first part is a pretty complete one-shot, but Oliver really needed to have his say. It is his birthday. It isn't written as a fantasy, but as an alternate timeline/what if to this chapter.
Unfortunately, this chapter was a whole lot harder to write. It's still far from my favorite chapter, I'm happier with this latest version (new edits as of 1/1/2018). On reread Felicity just wasn't coming out right. Hopefully, her kindness and compassion is more evident now.
(Don't) Let Me Go: Chapter 5 are missing moments from 5x23. So, slightly more angsty. ;-)
Thank you, thank you, thank you, to my fabulous betas Fairytalehearts, Imusuallyobsessed, and Ireland1733. And my endless gratitude to all of you who take a minute (or more) to leave a kudo or comments. It makes me so happy to spread the feels around.
Visit me on Tumblr at or Twitter at Emmilynestill. I would love to chat!
Happy Reading,
Emmy