Chapter 3: There's So Much Hate and Love at the Same Time, It's Sad
By: beachbumyeahh
Family gatherings had long been forgotten by the Evans family. They wouldn't allow such events to happen without the presence of every member of the family. So, when they finally did have Sharpay back, they threw their traditional Evans Saturday Brunch.
Ryan laughed at something their father said, he was not the only one, as laughter rang from their backyard. They were all stationed outside, eating their bagels and drinking coffee. He and Sharpay visited their parents who were staying at their old house. He couldn't deny that he didn't feel nostalgic walking down the familiar halls. Nostalgia was basically rolling off his aura.
He glanced at his parents and the smile that lit up his face was uncontrollable. They were glowing and happy. His father finally trusted him enough to hand him down the family business. He finally believed that Ryan could do it. And his mother, well, he never really had problems with her. He was, after all, a momma's boy. That was one fact he could never deny.
And then his eyes shifted towards his older twin sister, Sharpay. From a stranger's view, she would seem like the perfectly happy woman. But no, Ryan knew her better than anyone. He knew that tight smile and what it meant. He knew the reason why she was here. He knew she wanted to get her daughter and bring her home.
But he didn't know why she hadn't yet - when Sharpay Evans wanted something, she was going to get it one way or another.
Since coming home, she hasn't talked with him much. She was just so closed off, so private about her personal life. She used to like having everyone know what was happening, but now she just wouldn't talk anymore. Ryan wasn't even sure if this was the same person he grew up with.
Ryan wondered if Zeke knew that Sharpay was back, that she was in the same town as his daughter. Judging by his goddaughter's reports – more like complaints, – he hadn't come home since he shipped Blair to Albuquerque.
If he had things his way, he would have Blair and Zeke with them. And maybe everything would be better, including his sister. This thought made him frown and Ryan wished his girlfriend was here to support him. This family drama just got to be too much sometimes.
He glanced at Sharpay again and found her looking at him with a worried expression. It must have been some twin telepathy thing.
"Are you okay?" She mouthed at him. This went unnoticed by their parents who were too absorbed in their conversation about the bombing in another country.
He nodded and waved his hand carelessly. The last thing he needed was his sister worrying about him when he was worrying about her.
One of the maids, Melissa, approached the table carefully. Ryan focused on her and noted that she looked quite perturbed. Though, almost all of their helpers seemed nervous around Mr. Evans and Sharpay. Ryan wouldn't disagree; they were pretty intimidating when they wanted to be.
"Excuse me, sir, miss." She performed a small curtsy before looking directly at him. "Ryan . . ." She started off, her voice sounded quite suspicious. "There are two teenagers at the door. They are demanding to see you."
He excused himself and walked towards the front door, inwardly curious as to who would be demanding to see him on a Saturday. He didn't know a lot of teenagers here, just a couple of sons and daughters of his friends. Opening the door, his breath hitched, his heart started to beat faster, and he felt himself grow a little bit paler.
Cristiano Darbus looked at him apologetically, his attire disheveled along with his hair. His lower lip had a deep cut, one eye was bloodshot, the other swelling in different shades of black and blue. Ryan's never seen him act like this – he seemed older and more mature. He was supporting a tiny figure Ryan never would've noticed if Cristiano hadn't moved to support it better.
He stared silently at the pair, his mouth slightly opened in disbelief.
Cristiano started to fidget. "Hey," his voice sounded completely unlike it originally did. It sounded weak and there wasn't a trace of arrogance in his tone. "I never thought any of this could happen . . . it just all went to me so fast, I just couldn't –"
Ryan shook his head, not wanting to hear anything come from him. He carefully took Hayden into his arms, her body light and almost lifeless. Her head rolled back and her eyes were barely open. She looked so fragile and weak.
"Blair, honey," Ryan pulled her closer. "I need you stay awake for a few more minutes, okay?"
She lifted her eyelids a centimeter and looked at him. "Don't call Dad," she whispered before Ryan felt her pass out in his arms.
Worry shot through his body like a jolt of electricity. He needed to take care of Hayden. He was the godfather, and whenever her parents were not present, he would have to act as the parent. Ryan's body was unnaturally cold and stiff, as if all the life had been sucked out of him.
Zeke. How was he going to explain this? He didn't even know where the guy was. He was supposed to take care of his daughter. Zeke trusted him to take care of her.
And then, it hit him. Sharpay. She was just outside. And he was holding her daughter who was currently unconscious and intoxicated. If she just happened to walk inside, he wouldn't know what to do.
A tired voice snapped him out of his own little, worrying world. "Your servants told me you were here. I didn't know where else to go. Her father might be at her house and I thought . . ."
Ryan looked at Cristiano with cold eyes that were trained by a professional, his sister, of course. "Get out of my house." He turned around and walked upstairs towards one of the guest bedrooms, not bothering to look back. He heard the door softly shut and guessed that the boy had already left. He closely looked out for any of his family members that might be inside.
He didn't want Sharpay and his parents to finally meet his goddaughter when she was intoxicated. That just wouldn't look good from anyone's point of view, even his.
Ryan moved to the second floor until he arrived at the guest bedroom. Setting her on the bed, he called the country club's personal doctor. He was one of the best doctors in Albuquerque. He instructed Melissa to lead the doctor to the guest bedroom and to tell the family that he was busy with business and would be out as soon as it was done.
He grabbed a chair and sat next to the troubled girl on the bed. He grasped Hayden's cold hand with his. This felt so wrong; she was so cold and looked so lifeless. Her eyes were tightly shut and her hair was all over the place. If she were awake, she would've already performed magic on herself to look neat again.
In his opinion, the doctor took way too much time to get there. It almost made him want to fire the guy, but that would be silly. He was an excellent doctor. And this was his godchild he was checking on – and God be damned, he would fight an army just for her to have the best.
Ryan fidgeted beside the bed as he waited for the doctor to finish. Finally, he looked at him, shaking his head lightly.
"It seems to have been some sort of drug that did this to her. It's nothing serious, I assure you. I would advise you to keep her here and just let her sleep it off. I give it two or three days before she wakes up." The old doctor smiled at him and walked towards the door. "Give her painkillers when she wakes up. Her head will be pounding."
Ryan exited the room and by this time, it was already dark outside. He was still silently wondering how Hayden ended up passed out – from drugs to make it worse. She'd always been the good girl. At times, she might like to party and drink, but she knew the boundaries. She knew when to not cross the line.
Striding inside the living room, he found Sharpay lounging on the sofa.
"Hey," she greeted. "Where've you been?"
And there's that lump in his throat that's begging him to tell the truth. "Business," he lied without any struggle. She seemed to have accepted it as well because she flipped her hair and entered her own world again. She looked deep in thought. He silently wondered what she would do when she found out her daughter's just upstairs. He left the room and took out his phone.
He dialed the third number in his speed dial and waited for that familiar voice. "Zeke?"
"Ryan," his voice sounded like he was actually expecting him. "I just stepped off the airport. I decided to surprise Hayden and come home early. What's up?"
"Zeke, you need to come to the house." Ryan rubbed his head slowly. "The old house."
"Why?"
"Hayden's here. She's passed out in the guest bedroom. You need to be here when she wakes up."
Silence rang inside Ryan's ears as he waited for Zeke to reply. "I'll be there." The call instantly ended without any goodbyes.
He put away the phone and entered Hayden's room. She looked so troubled, even when she slept. Everything was going to be fine, he had to convince himself. Zeke was in Albuquerque, he'd be there at any moment. Zeke's voice sounded so neutral, so emotionless, it scared him.
Zeke sat in the car as he watched the houses go by. "Can't you go any faster?" His voice was loud, almost echoing inside the car. He had so many questions but he didn't have the answers. Ryan's phone call made him numb. The image of his daughter – passed out from whatever – floating inside his mind. He couldn't feel angry or sad, because nothing else mattered anymore.
He let something bad happen to his daughter. He promised he would never let anything bad happen to her. The memories just came flooding back to him . . . every bit of trouble he went through . . .
A hand clasped my back; I turned to see Ryan looking at me with what I interpreted as tired, pitiful eyes. His lips moved, he must have been saying something. I started to tune everything out yesterday. I moved my gaze from him to the little bundle of blankets in front of me. Only this thin piece of glass is in our way.
She was wriggling inside her crib. Her arms were waving around angrily and her legs were moving everywhere as she kicked them in the air. She looked so irritated – it would've been an adorable moment if I hadn't known why she was there. She was sick. That little innocent baby was sick. She'd been living in this world for two days and already she'd been having difficulties.
I loved her and disliked her at the same time.
She was so much like her mother. I loved that fact. From what it looked like, she had a short fuse – exactly like her mother. Her lips, her nose;, she was completely like her in every way possible. But, she had my eyes and her skin was almost tan. And her hair – she had undistinguishable hair. Was it blond, black, what?
"She looks so beautiful," I mused, finally letting the world in.
Ryan stopped talking and glanced at his niece. "She is, isn't she?"
And I just stood there, marveling that she was my daughter. I helped in that. I was a part of her. She was my daughter.
"Maybe you should get some rest, Zeke," Ryan finally advised.
"I'm not resting until Hayden's resting." That was the first time I'd ever said her name. That was the first time I'd ever even acknowledged that she had a name.
"Sir," a trembling voice snapped him out of reverie. "We've arrived."
Without any more words, he opened the door and marched outside. He had to stop for a moment to stare at the house in front of him. It felt as if the house had sent a jolt of electricity throughout his body. Memories, more and more, started to make an appearance in his mind. It was forcing him to look back at memories he didn't wish to remember. It took almost all of his courage just to stop himself from turning around and leaving the wretched place.
He should've knocked on the door. Besides, it wasn't his house. He should've knocked and waited instead of striding inside with a panicked look on his face. If he did, he wouldn't be standing still, holding onto the door while staring at the face of Sharpay Evans, the devil incarnate.
Zeke certainly didn't expect seeing the one person he least wanted to see. And it didn't help one bit that she was still as gorgeous as ever.
They stared at each other silently. Zeke inwardly wondered if her heart was racing because his was. In fact, it was the fastest it had been since he could remember. She looked the same. Her golden hair cascaded down her face to her shoulders where it stayed contently. Age never made a difference to her. She still lit the room wherever she went. He wanted to see her smile – to see if it was still the smile that haunted his dreams.
Silence followed for a few more seconds before she finally responded. "Zeke?"
Ryan suddenly appeared and shoved Sharpay out of the way while muttering something he couldn't catch. He placed a hand on his back and ushered him upstairs and into the room where his daughter stayed, quickly closing the door as well.
Zeke almost fainted at the sight of his daughter. She was sleeping – but something was completely wrong about the picture. Moving slowly, he sat on the edge of the bed next to Hayden. He took one of her limp, lifeless hands and tucked a lost strand of hair off of her face.
"Hayden?" He whispered softly. Zeke almost felt afraid to wake her up. "Baby?"
Hayden fluttered her eyes open, revealing her very own set of bloodshot eyes. She looked so tired, so sleepy; Zeke wasn't sure how much his daughter was processing right then. Her head must have been hurting so badly right then.
"Hey, baby," he let out a small smile at the sight of his daughter actually still breathing. "Everything's going to be okay, now. I'm here."
She closed her eyes again and flashed him a tired, toothy smile. It reminded him of when she was younger – innocent and clueless of the horrors that haunter this world. "I got smashed." Her eyebrows furrowed. "Or drunk, I'm not sure." Her voice sounded so raspy.
Zeke sighed and ran his fingers through her hair. "It's okay, Hayden," he assured her. "Just go back to sleep, honey." He squeezed her hand gently, as if to reassure her further.
"I saw her and I just lost it. She was breathtaking, Dad."
The "her" Hayden was referring to didn't need to be explained. Everyone in the room knew who "she" was.
Zeke bent down and kissed her forehead. "Sleep tight, Hayden."
Without any further hesitation, Hayden closed her eyes and soon, sounds of sleep came from her figure. Zeke stood up and walked around the room, biting the inside of his cheeks until it started to bleed.
He rubbed his temples slowly. "This is so messed up."
Indeed, it was.
Sharpay stayed inside the living room. She couldn't go home without Ryan. She was, in fact, staying at his house anyway. Her head was buzzing a little; too much has happened that day. Zeke was back but he was with Ryan, who'd been acting strangely since that morning. Nothing was making much sense to her.
She cradled her head in her hands, remembering the last time she'd seen the man who made her heart start again.
She opened her eyes silently. It had been a day since she'd given birth to her unknown baby. She didn't know her name. After all, she'd been asleep ever since pushing that baby out. She felt lightheaded; she was definitely drained of all energy.
She found some clothes in her room and now she was watching her unnamed baby from the nursery. Where were the others, she silently wondered. Why was no one there to smile at her when her eyes opened? Where was Zeke? Nobody was watching her baby – no family, no friends of hers, either.
Sharpay found her daughter struggling with wires all over her.
And she suddenly realized she couldn't do it. She couldn't raise a daughter alone. Nobody was here, they all left. All she had to do was to leave quietly as well. Sharpay knew this wasn't going to work from the start. But she grew to hope that when the time came to give birth, she would love the idea of being a mother. But, the time had come and she still wasn't ready.
So, she ran and flagged the first cab she saw.
"Wait," a voice stopped her from placing a foot inside the cab. "What are you doing, Sharpay?"
She stared at Zeke's confused eyes. And it hurt – it hurt her to look at him because he was there when she thought nobody would be. And it hurt because she had to leave him behind.
"Goodbye." She grasped his hand tightly before leaving him, staring from outside the cab. She would never forget the look in his eyes – the broken, confused look.
She heard a shaky cough pull her out of her memories. Looking up, she found Zeke standing near the entrance door. She tried not to feel like she was on fire just because of her old flame's presence.
So much for the "avoid the father at all costs" thing.
He looked uncomfortable and tired.
"Zeke?" She questioned uncertainly. He looked so much more different but she could still see her Zeke – her basketball loving, cookie-baking boyfriend. She fumbled with her fingers nervously.
He sighed and sat on a chair a few good feet away from her. She supposed it was better that there were some space between them. Being so close to him wouldn't do her any good.
"I don't know why you're here or why now, of all the years you could've come to Albuquerque," he struggled with his words. "But listen, Sharpay, you're not allowed to see our daughter."
His words continued to play like a broken record. His sentence was the only thing her universe was revolving around. "What."
"Hate me all you want, Sharpay." He stared at her, unflinching at her heated, angry gaze. "Our daughter is upstairs, passed out from alcohol and drugs. It was because of you that she's like that. You're her mother and you've been absent from her life ever since she was born. Your twin has been spending more time with her than you, her mother. How do you think that fact affected her?"
Her daughter was passed out from alcohol and drugs? "My daughter's been upstairs all day and nobody told me?" Her voice was slowly rising per word. It wasn't her fault that her daughter was hurt. Her eyes were glittering dangerously, anger clearly evident. If looks could kill, Zeke would've been dead by now. Ryan stepped inside the room and approached them. "You've been keeping my daughter away from me." She silently added her brother in the list she was planning inside her head.
"Sharpay . . ." He drawled out.
"As godfather, he did what was best," Zeke told her. "I don't want you anywhere near my daughter, Sharpay. You left, that was your decision, and you deal with the consequences."
Sharpay snapped her head towards him in a second. "Would you just wait a goddamn minute?" She cursed before turning back to her twin brother. "I trusted you. You knew what my intentions were and you didn't bother to tell me that my daughter is upstairs, passed out!" Ryan only gazed at the floor, refusing to see her burning eyes. Her mind was buzzing and her heart was beating erratically.
"Your intentions?" Zeke questioned, his voice getting louder. "Sharpay, as long as I am here, you will never see her." All his mind could think about was the idea of Hayden loving Sharpay and then leaving her like she had left him. He had to protect his little girl from getting hurt like that. The pain was unbearable – believe him, he's still suffering from the pain.
"I'm her mother, for Christ's sake!" She stood up and took two strides towards him. Her insides were burning with anger. "You can't keep me away from my own daughter. What if she wants to see me? Would you strip her away of her rights?"
Zeke stood up, as well. "If she wanted to see you, she would've contacted you years ago."
"You can't keep away from my own daughter!" Her voice rose an octave as his statement made its effect on her. Her parents quickly made their way inside; wanting to see what was with all the screaming. "She's my daughter, Zeke! I have the right!"
"You left, Sharpay! You made the decision to leave us. You don't deserve to be in her life!" He walked towards the entrance door and looked at her. "I'm allowing her to sleep off the drugs here. This is the only time I'm letting you see her. I will be here once she wakes up and you will never see her again."
Sharpay felt numb as she watched him walk out of her house, out of her life. But she couldn't think of him – it hurt too much. Her feet unconsciously made their way towards the stairs, leaving everybody behind. Her daughter needed her. And she would not go anywhere until Hayden told her she didn't want to see her.
"I don't care the fuck about what Zeke Baylor says."
AN: You know the drill. Review and tell me you freaking hate it. =) Or maybe, for some reason I can never explain, you happen to like it and review. Anything's cool with me. =) Thanks to my beta, I've been forgetting to thank her. Kirsten? Thanks. :D