Chapter 4: Adeline

Camouflage always liked to make her therapy sessions take place in multiple locations in order to ignite certain emotions and memories. There wasn't that many comfortable ones back at the hospital that didn't require her to use her powers to brighten up a room or to mute their words to surrounding ears.

Now that the family had relocated to a secluded cabin, she made use of the private walks in the winter forest, and having a therapy room in the cabin. In the room, she had the classic sofa chair and chaise lounge chair with a large window to give the room a spacious illusion. She would light up incense on the table in front of her and then put a pitcher of water and different cups down. She would have her phone playing emotionally sweet music, but then turn it off once her session begins.

Slade was going to teach Xander self-defense, so Camouflage figured she could have a conversation with Grant in that room. There was a lot to talk about, though she assured the teen, "I'm not going to ask you about your terrible secret. That's completely up to you and your dad to talk about. For us though, we've been trying really hard to regain the memories of the lab. But it looks like most of your memories reside outside of it, and mostly with a certain person in particular, that you have a traumatic memory block for, just like you did with Zareen."

Grant sat at the side of the lounge chair to face her with his back straight and a light sarcastic smile on his lips, "Yeah, and you won't do any movie stunts with my head since it'll fuck me more up with delirium or some shit like that."

Camouflage confirmed, "Yeah." She slouched on her chair as a means to quit the professionalism and get down to, "So when are you going to tell your dad about how Adeline mistreated you?"

Grant scoffed, "Wow, first time I ever heard someone actually think that bitch mistreated me."

"You're talking to an abused child from a mother with a demented mind. And I don't need to use my powers to know you and I are the same SOBs. I don't know Adeline, and Slade can praise her all he wants, but I can see through you the truth that she's not that great to begin with."

Grant smirked, "Knew I could be real with you for a reason." The man shook his head. "Everyone paints Adeline up to be this perfect person because she raised Joe and ran her own business, but deep down she's nothing but a vile, selfish bitch who'd throw her own son away when she, SHE isn't comfortable. I did nothing wrong, but that didn't matter. I was dad's son, and to that bitch, I was the devil spawn. As if Joe didn't come out of dad's balls, too!" The man scoffed again, smiling in his growing hatred, and that smile quickly dropped with his brows. "I was never told the truth! Come home to a cranky divorced whore and a fuckin' mute! Just told that dad was responsible and he was never coming back. I was fuckin' nine! How the fuck did she expect me to take the news! But of course she expected my reaction and just wanted to cast me aside like some nuisance. I was too shocked that I couldn't focus on school and began talking back at anyone because I wanted nothing but answers."

Camouflage nodded along while Grant stared at the floor, his own mind racing with memory after memory.

He continued, "What's the point of telling dad? He'll just chuck it all up as his own fault, but that's not true. A mom isn't supposed to hate her child, and I didn't deserve it. But at the time, I thought I did. I thought the divorce was my fault, and that's why I was hated by not only her but her people and that grew into me believing Frannie, Max, Uncle Wintergreen and everyone else in the world hated me, too. I felt like the person that Zareen was sending letters to was gone so I just threw all of them in a box in the back of my closet. I became irritated and depressed as time went by. Got kicked out of school and forced to stay home cuz Adeline didn't believe she could trust me to behave in society. She told me that I needed to shape up and stop feeling sorry for myself as if I'm supposed to figure that out myself, and then accuse me of just being a lazy bum when I literally had nothing worthwhile to do. I had no one to talk to or anywhere to go."

"Oh gawd, fuck her! Did she keep Joe away from you?"

Grant huffed at such an easy question. "Adeline would always tell him in earshot that he should stay away from me as if I'm one of those child perverts. Joe would approach me anyway when she wasn't looking, and I'd just get angry like he was some stupid hunter getting into my territory. Her people or that bitch would push me away and reprimand me. Adeline would full on slap me right across the face, yelling that I was no different than my father, and lock me in the room to rot."

"You have got to be kidding me! How did she even let you get back into school again? Slade told me you got yourself expelled and then ran away to New York."

"It took...work." Grant smiled but it looked strained between a soft laugh and a hard frown. "Three years of work that was literally both a bliss and a hell."

"Heading into dark secret territory?" Camouflage asked lightly, straightening herself.

Grant was silent for a moment before answering, "No. It kinda relates to it, but no...Uhm, I'm not proud of it. Hell, I don't blame the younger me, but if I actually did it, I can't imagine what it would've done to dad and Zareen. Hell, I almost got my dad killed because of my fucked up head. And Zareen always cried when I got hurt. She loved me that much even when we haven't seen each other in like eight years, and..."

"Grant...are you referring to...suicide?" The teen tried to say lightly as possible to not trigger him.

The older man took a deep breath and nodded. "It shouldn't be surprising. The mansion was a prison, and I began to get paranoid that Adeline's people were set out to kill me for Adeline whether she commanded it or not. I never ate food with her or Joe. I always made my own food, and ate alone. I created my own laundry machine and dried it in my bathroom. I forbade anyone from coming in, and used my dresser to keep the door shut at night. Put a stick and rubberband on my window to keep it shut. I only went out to the backyard if I had a gun or any weapon in my hand."

"That's not healthy."

"No. I was too stressed out, depressed out of my fuckin' mind, and felt myself rot away that I began planning my suicide. A single gunshot to the head should've done it." Grant put his hand up as if he was holding a gun to his head. "Bam. But I wanted to send a message. At least something to let my dad know I did this because I was in pain, that I suffered. A gunshot to the head may just make me look reckless. Drowning in a bathtub would make me look stupid. Cutting myself was cliche'. Hanging myself sounded like the best option, but it might actually not kill me if something goes wrong, so I figured that I should drug myself as my backup plan because that would definitely send the message that I really wanted to die."

"You suuure this is not the dark secret because it's getting pretty dark right now." Camouflage was a bit freaked out by how methodical Grant sounded.

Grant laughed as if he was telling a joke. "No..." He looked out the window, mind racing back to the height of his memories that gave a meaning for all he went through. "It took time to get some drugs. I needed to hurt myself without making it look self-inflicted, so I could be sent to the hospital and not a psychiatry facility. I figured easy way was to fall down the stairs. Or shoot myself in the foot. But those plans got thrown out when Max died, and I didn't get to go to his funeral because Adeline didn't want me seeing dad. Frannie had to visit and break the news to me. I begged her to take me away, but she wasn't any help either. I wanted to tell her that I planned to commit suicide if she didn't, but she already lost Max. I couldn't do that to her. But when she left, I truly believed as a kid that my life was over. Frannie and Uncle Wintergreen were tough but they were getting old. If they died before I could finally get off the custody policy bullshit, who's going to tell me? What if dad or Zareen died, too, and I can't go to their funeral? I didn't want to grow up and discover that everyone who actually loved me was gone. I didn't want to be left behind. I was too anxious to die before them to stop the pain."

Camouflage got off her seat to sit next to him. He touched Grant's shaking hands gently yet firmly to help them stay in place. "But what helped calm you down?"

Grant took a deep breath, putting pressure in his own hands to remain still before he replied, "...Nothing...But I was saved by my tutor. Her name was...Hyun-ae Phan. Half-Korean. Half-Vietnamese. Phan became my tutor when I was suicidal, and I didn't give her the time of day to do any work since I figured I was going to die anyway. She tolerated my attitude and drove me to a hiking trail that led to a place to do rock climbing. I was out of breath since it's been maybe a year since I did any normal exercise that didn't involve panicking for my life. She helped me through it, and praised me before we climbed back down and went to a gym to get a shower. We had packed an extra set of clothes to change into, so we just went straight to the circus afterwards." Grant smiled, "I was chuckling at the clowns hitting each other with those glass movie props."

The smile faded as Grant continued, "I was still on the fritz about her because I considered her as one of Adeline's people, but during the two years she tutored me, she always helped calm me down from the anxiety I felt again and again in that mansion. I still planned and considered suicide back then, but she put me off of actually doing anything until I was twelve when Max died. My anxiety was out of control and I began acting insane. She had to drag me out of the tub when I decided to cut myself like an amateur."

Things got silent for a moment until a memory made Grant look like he was about to laugh, but his rage cooled the warmth of the room. "Once I was stitched up at the hospital, Phan told Adeline about it, and got fired because she didn't approve of Adeline's military approach to have me pushed around like some soldier to get disciplined. And I'm honestly not surprised because Adeline is not a good mom."

Camouflage was about to say something, but Grant kept going, "Joe only became such a walking success because he was obedient. He was the easy child. The person Adeline could mold while I wasn't. I challenged her authority since I was born, and she didn't know how to handle it, so shoved me to dad since he had a fuckin' clue. Adeline didn't because she only knew how to discipline adults and that involved working them to the ground, scolding them to make them feel inferior so they wouldn't question her superiority, never taking responsibility for their failure because they had to meet her standards, and when push comes to shove where at that moment when I needed someone to keep me together, her response was to break me."

The room fell silent. Camouflage looked to the door and she silently sighed.

"I didn't attempt a second suicide because before that mess, Phan had called in favors and had all of my papers ready for this boarding military school far away. Adeline only visited me once in the hospital to make sure I was alive, and I was half-asleep at the time, but I swear I heard her straight up complaining that it's been already two years so why couldn't I just get over dad and make things easier for her. After I got cleared out from the hospital, I didn't have to stay at home long since I had to go to the school's opening ceremony, so I left after one night. I still had to go home for the holidays but I wasn't as suicidal since Phan and I kept in contact."

That sounded like the end of things, and Camouflage was uncomfortable, but not because of his confession. "Grant, I'm sorry. I didn't want to disturb you, but it looks like Slade and Xander just almost walked in when you began talking about Phan's firing."

Grant's eyes widened but he did not dare look to the door. Xander spoke from the door, "I'm sorry. We didn't mean to eavesdrop, but we beeped that we were coming in. Sorry, we didn't think you wouldn't hear it. We're sorry." The boy held his head down, hoping to not be scolded but Grant didn't say anything.

Camouflage instead asked, "Why did you have to intrude our talk?"

Xander took a moment to remember. "Oh, uhm, there's a garden preserved from the snow at the next town over. We thought it would be the best place to try and get Grant to remember his past mission. But...We'll leave." He awkwardly closed the door.

Camouflage apologized, "I'm sorry. I heard the beep, but you kept going, and I didn't have it in me to stop you." She lied. She actually wanted Slade to hear everything at its most honest. Grant was still silent and Camouflage left him to his thoughts.

The teen saw Slade mindlessly walking out to the porch and taking a seat at the steps, leaving the chill into the cabin. Camouflage sensed Xander in his own room with Cutthroat Sally Wednesday on his lap as he began painting his sceneries. She closed the front door and sat next to Slade.

"So there you have it. The woman you loved so much was actually a horrible mother to the son you favored. I'm sure you're making excuses for her, but Adeline knew he was hurting. She knew that he needed someone, and it took a stranger to come to her, not the other way around, for him to have that. But even with this stranger, Grant already suffered so much neglect and abuse to the point of actually meticulously planned his suicide. Only to throw his plans away to take the easy route." Camouflage paused and Slade didn't say anything, so she continued, "I know you hate hearing anyone badmouth her, but it's about time you realize that she also held responsibility for the death of your sons...especially for Grant's."

Slade immediately questioned, "What do you mean by that?"

Camouflage took a deep breath. "Remember when you had me check into Searchers' Inc.'s files and past workers in order to find a clue into who may have taken Grant's body? I learned something that I knew you should've known, but y'know...you've been through so much with Rose at the time, and after what we had to do to Bludhaven..." Camouflage shook herself away from those memories to get to topic at hand. "Before I can tell you, I need you to agree with me that if you're going to hold yourself responsible for the death of your sons, Adeline should and should've shared that responsibility. The HIVE went after Grant because of you, but Adeline..." She quickly changed the subject, "She allowed Joe to become a Titan and that led to his own demise. You just helped him get out of it."

"Why did you stop with Grant's example?" Slade pushed for an answer.

"It'll change everything, Slade. It'll change how you see Adeline, and if it doesn't, it may ruin all the progress between you and Grant."

"Then let's know at this moment of truth." Grant stepped out. "Adeline knew that the HIVE was aiming for me, didn't she."

"Gra-"

"DIDN'T SHE! I've been trying to connect the dots since Zareen's death! Zareen shouldn't have died in that hospital! I shielded her as best as I could, and took most of the bullets and yet here I am!" The man's eyes reddened by the restraint he put on his own tear ducts.

Camouflage grimaced at her situation, yet confessed, "She knew since the beginning. Years prior to your death, Adeline had been trying to take down HIVE. She had a spy in the organization who informed her about HIVE's plan to get Deathstroke involved in taking down the Justice League through you. But then the Teen Titans were made so plans sped up to take care of them. You'd think something like that would have her full attention, but she wasn't actually that involved in the mission to protect you at all. That kind of apathetic attitude honestly made everyone else working on this mission believe that you were sacrificial for the sake of taking down HIVE. In fact unknown to Adeline, they helped the HIVE kill Zareen to push you into their clutches so that Deathstroke could take down the HIVE without them getting their hands dirty. In a way...they succeeded because the HIVE faced heavy losses because of your dad, and it wasn't that difficult afterwards for the Teen Titans to take down the original HIVE."

Camouflage could feel the utter rage coming from both of them. She jumped when Slade rose up being the first one to burst, "SHE BLAMED ME! ADELINE PUT THE WHOLE BLAME ON ME! I guess she thought so since she didn't bother to give a damn about getting involved at all or looking in a mirror! I can't believe I loved her! I guess love truly made you blind! And her hatred made her feel justified for her selfishness, and that's what she has always been! Selfish! Talk about hypocritical!"

Slade wanted to kill something to ease the rage and shameful stupidity he felt. Yet what did drive it away was Grant hugging him from behind. He turned around to hug the boy he stupidly abandoned him in the clutches of a mad woman. No matter what he was going through at that time, if he knew the torture his son would be in, he wouldn't have hesitated to save him. Grant was his boy. His world.

Camouflage was relieved that the two came together instead of apart. She honestly wasn't sure of Slade's reaction of Adeline's actions since the man truly loved her, but it looked like love truly had a limit. She walked back in to find Xander still in his room. She knocked on the door, and it was opened by a scared Xander. She reassured him that everything was fine, and told him of what just happened at his bed.

Xander was glad to hear that his brother and dad worked things out sooner than expected. He smiled with his cheek against his stuff animal.

Camouflage commented, "You're really attached to her, huh."

Xander squeezed Cutthroat Sally Wednesday. "Thank you for giving me her. She's been really helpful in chasing away the dreams. She would always barge in like king kong on a rampage and scare them all away. Although that might actually not help us in figuring out the organization."

"It's alright. At this point, we might actually put that on hold, and probably wait prepared for an opportunity. You two need our exclusive attention to forget the organization and start living your regular lives so I'll stop those type of sessions."

Xander didn't say anything. His relieved expression said enough.