Chapter 4 - I Could Win This

Early December

Helga stared at the magazine page, her mind temporarily numb as she tried to process what she was reading:

WIN A TRIP TO CENTRAL AMERICA
Submit the winning essay and you could win a trip for your class to ANYWHERE in Central America!
Entries will be accepted until January 31
Topic is of your choosing, but must be at least 1000 words
Participants need to be between the ages of 10 and 15
You choose your destination!

It was the last sentence that truly caught her eye. Choose the destination.

Her thoughts finally went into overdrive. 'I could win this,' she thought. 'I could win this and choose San Lorenzo. I could help him find his parents.'

She looked up, gazing at her wall with a frown and said aloud. "Why should I? He rejected me. He doesn't love me back. He doesn't even like me." She bit her lip hard to prevent the tears she could feel forming. "Ugh get a grip Pataki," she told herself sternly.

She looked down at the magazine. "I could still write it. I probably won't win. This is a national contest. No harm if I scribble something out."

She smacked her forehead. "Why bother? There's no point. What should I even write about?"

She reached for the locket she wore around her neck, hidden underneath her shirt and opened it to look at the picture inside. "Oh Arnold, my love. Why do I still love you? Why do I still pine for you when you don't return my affection? Why should I do this for you? Why? You don't like me, no matter how much I love you." She sighed. "But I can't help myself. I want you to be happy and I know finding your parents would make you the happiest boy in the world."

Her thoughts wandered back to that day in October when he had caught her walking home and had told her about his fathers' journal, and how hopeful he had looked. She wanted him never to lose that hope.

Bringing her thoughts back to the present, she looked once again at the magazine ad and made a decision. Well didn't really make it. It was made the second she saw the contest. She would try her best to win. She would do her best to make him happy. She still loved him, and that's what you did for people you loved, right? She hopped off her bed and went to her desk to sit down. She tapped her pen to her lips for a moment, then started writing.

A week later

"So what did you want to show me, Helga?" Phoebe asked, settling on the edge of Helga's bed.

They were in Helga's room. The finished essay was resting on Helga's desk. She rarely shared her work, even with her best friend. Phoebe knew about her pink poetry books/journals, but never pried about them. She knew Helga was a good writer from the occasional things she had seen, but Helga was very guarded when it came to her writing.

"First look at this," Helga said, handing over the magazine which was open to the contest page.

Phoebe took the magazine and read the announcement a couple of times. "A writing contest?" she asked, looking up at her friend. "Are you entering?"

Helga nodded.

"Well, that is just wonderful Helga," she said, smiling and adjusting her glasses. "What made you decide to do this? You hardly ever share your writing and this says it will be published in the magazine if you win!"

Helga bit her lip. "Arnold."

"Arnold?" Phoebe asked blankly.

Helga sighed. "A few months ago I was walking home when Arnold chased me down on the street," she said. "He had just been to Gerald's to show him this journal he and his grandfather found that was his fathers. He was really excited about it and shared it with me."

"He did?"

Helga nodded. "Yeah. I don't know why Pheebs. I haven't even spoken to him in months."

"No you have not. Which I will say again is just plain dumb."

She shrugged. "Whatever. I stopped and listened to him, looked through his book. He was convinced that this map that was in there would lead him to his parents."

"Well surely his parents can't still be alive?"

"I didn't think so, but I would never say that to him," she protested. "He looked too happy. It's been nearly eight years Pheebs."

"Please tell me you were nice to him," Phoebe pleaded.

Helga scowled at her. "Of course I was."

"Well…sometimes…" Phoebe left it hanging.

"I'm over that, Pheebs. I don't have the heart for it anymore. He knows how I feel about him, so he wouldn't believe it anyway. But yes, I was nice. I even thanked him for sharing it with me."

Phoebe beamed. "But how does this relate to this contest?"

"His parents were headed for this San Lorenzo place in Central America," Helga explained.

Phoebe glanced down at the magazine again. "And this is a trip to anywhere in Central America," she reasoned. "You're going to try and win this for Arnold?"

Helga nodded. "Since he told me about it, I've been reading what I can find about the place. I happened to see this magazine the other day at the newsstand. The whole thing is focused on Central America, so I bought it because…I don't really know. Just to find out more about it, and I saw the contest."

"Wow Helga! That's amazing! Are you hoping he will fall in love with you for that?"

"What?! No!" Helga protested. "He's made it clear that he doesn't like me. I just want to help him and make him happy."

Phoebe didn't say it, but she was rather impressed with Helga's sentiment. As much as Helga liked to portray this tough, emotionless, mean girl, she was actually quite loving and generous. Phoebe knew Helga had done many things to win Arnold's heart, but had also done many things for him that she didn't take credit for. That, in fact, Arnold never knew she had done and still didn't know to this day. She was also pretty sure Helga was wrong about Arnold not liking her. Phoebe had not missed Arnold's attempts to talk to Helga nor his habit of constantly looking at her in class, recess, and after school, but she sensed Helga's mood and didn't think it prudent to contradict her right now.

"Anyway," Helga continued, "I wrote an essay." She picked up the papers from her desk. "I…I want you to read it, Pheebs."

"Helga, you hardly ever let me read your writing," she said, mystified.

"I know," Helga replied, looking down at the papers. "This is hard for me Phoebe. I put a lot of myself into this and it's pretty revealing about my feelings, but you're my best friend and you're so smart and I trust you completely." She continued to look at the paper and her hands were shaking slightly. "I want a tough critique. I really want to win this, so the essay has to be perfect. Spelling, grammar, everything. I want you to tell me if you think it could win a national contest."

"I would be honored Helga," Phoebe said sincerely.

Helga still hesitated, "It's not a long read, but…well…here…" she said, thrusting the papers toward Phoebe, who took them silently and settled back on the bed, sitting cross legged, to read.

Helga slumped in her desk chair, trying not to look at Phoebe as she read. She couldn't help it though, and chewed nervously on her thumbnail as she waited.

Phoebe read through once, then returned to the beginning to read through another time. She kept her head down the entire time, so Helga couldn't even see her face clearly. After the second time through, Phoebe dropped her hands in her lap, still holding the papers, still looking down at them.

"Pheebs?"

When her best friend looked up, Helga was amazed to see tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Pheebs!"

Phoebe wiped at her eyes with one hand. "Helga…this…this is…simply exquisite" she said in a choked voice.

"What!?" Helga exclaimed.

"I have never been so moved in my life. Your words…well they just touch something deep in my heart."

Helga just stared at her. "You're joking me Phoebe!"

Phoebe shook her head. "Oh no Helga!" she said, wiping more tears away. "I would never joke about something like this or lie to you. Helga this is…this has to win. I do not see how anyone who read this could not pick it to win."

Helga's mind was overwhelmed. "How about the spelling, the grammar?" she asked faintly. She had thought it was a good essay. Her best writing yet, but seeing the effect on Phoebe was something totally unexpected.

"Perfect! At least I did not see anything myself. I will read it again and try not to get wrapped up in the words," she said, wiping her eyes again and looking down.

Phoebe read through it many more times and pronounced it perfectly perfect in every way.

When Phoebe stood up, Helga pulled her into a big bear hug and held her best friend tight. "Thank you Phoebe," she said in a choked up and quiet voice.

"No thank you Helga for finally letting me in. All the way in. I completely understand now."

Author Note: A short chapter, but one in which I wanted to introduce the possible way of getting the class down to San Lorenzo. I read an interview with Craig Bartlett where he had mentioned that Arnold would win an essay contest that got the class a trip to San Lorenzo, but I liked the idea of Helga winning it for him. I also wanted to show more of Helga and Phoebe's relationship.