Confession

The driving time from my house to the school usually took five minutes, but it seemed like years this time. I was itching to see him again, the brown haired boy who was summoned out of my dreams.

"Honey, are you sure you can make it to school today?"

"Dad, I had Saturday and Sunday to heal. I'll be just fine."

"Are you really sure? Does your back still ache?" Yes, yes it did. It hurt like hell, actually, but it's all worth going to school for.

"No, dad. It doesn't ache anymore." I lied.

"You know, you've been acting strange lately. I have never seen you refuse staying at home. You even faked illnesses just to skip school and now you have the perfect excuse and here you are, on your way to school."

"Of course, dad. My junior days are numbered. Better cherish 'em."

"Whatever you say, honey." Finally, after a million years, the car hovered to a stop in front of the schoolyard.

"Bye, dad. See you later in Trig." I climbed out of the car and slammed my door shut.

Walking up the stairs was really hard today. The back brace I was wearing prevented me from bending, so I had to climb it like a poised ballerina.

By the time I flung the door open, Jared was suddenly right in front of me. The rapid beating of my heart started again and my cheeks suddenly warmed up.

"Oh, hey, Kim." I looked up at Jared. His lips were redder than usual, and so were his cheeks. My stomach lurched wildly and my head felt very light.

"Hi, Jared." This moment better last.

"Kim?" A deep voice called from behind. It startled me—it sounded too beastly and too loud. As much as I hated it, I looked away from Jared to see who my caller was.

He was muscular, too muscular that he looked like he could crush me. He was like The Hulk's incarnation or something, except that he wasn't green but tan.

"Umm, hi?"

"Kim, it's me, Paul. From the book lovers club in middle school, don't you remember?" I suddenly had a blast from the past. I remembered my days as a sixth grader, when I had no friends except for the skinny, asthmatic seventh grader, Paul. He was my best friend, until he suddenly had to go to high school. The man in front of me couldn't be him. He looked too well built.

"Paul?"

"Yes!" I took one step back as the big man was about to hug me. Paul felt too hot, like I was hugging a steel chair from an outdoor café in Miami.

"Ouch!" I unconsciously exclaimed. He was crushing my already crushed bones and it started to hurt excruciatingly again.

"Woops, sorry." He let go.

"You know Kim?" Jared said out of nowhere.

"Yeah, we were club mates back in middle school, and best friends too. You know her?"

"My classmate." He said flatly.

"Ohh."

"Hey, I gotta go for now. I forgot something at home. See you later?"

"See you later, Jared." I watched Jared climb down the stairs; his hair was blown by the wind.

"Do you still watch Star Trekk?"

"Yes." I answered him awkwardly. He just didn't look like the Paul I knew.

"You're freaked out, I know."

"Yeah, sorry."

"I'm still the same, Kim. It's just the shell that's different."

"Don't worry. I'll get used to it." I tried my best to flash him a smile.

"So, you're in to Jared, huh?" His face was in a smug. How the hell did he know?

"No. Where the heck did you get that?" Paul touched my palm and I looked at it. Jared's name was written all over it.

"Ugh. Just don't tell him. You two seem close."

"We will be close soon. Now, not that much."

"Close soon?"

"You won't understand. Anyway, Kim, I hope you see why I'm telling you this although it may seem wrong in all ways. You better quit liking Jared."

"Why?" I automatically blurted the question out.

"He's a jerk, Kim. He likes it when girls like him and he acts like he likes the girl back so the girl would like him more." I didn't believe him because of two things. One, Jared didn't look like he was a jerk and the other reason though it hurts to think about it was two; he doesn't act like he likes me back.

"No offence, Paul but, I don't believe you."

"It's not my problem if you don't but always remember that I warned you." He winked at me.

"I'm sorry."

"Nah, it's okay. As long as you're happy, then I'm fine with it." Now it didn't feel awkward, he was the Paul back in middle school.

"Thanks. Hey, can you help me? I need to know Jared's locker code so I could replace his homework with this." I pulled the correctly answered Trig homework out of my pocket.

"Okay, but he doesn't deserve this." He sighed.

- -

"Hey, Kim. Thanks for the homework." Jared suddenly sank down in front of me. It took me a few seconds to compose my frenzied self.

"Sorry, what?" I hope I looked convincing.

"The Trig homework." He dropped the sheet beside my apple.

"I…don't know what you're talking about. Sorry."

"I found this in my locker a while ago so I asked Stacey if the penmanship was familiar. She says it's yours."

"Ohh. Sorry, but I've never seen that paper." My heart was beating faster because of two things—because I might get busted and because he looked so handsome when he's confused.

"But your name's on it." He flipped the paper and I saw what I kept on writing last night. 'Mrs. Kim Wilson.' Shit, I didn't know I wrote it down on that paper. I'd kill to have the earth swallow me alive right now. I rummaged through my head for any fake excuses.

"It's okay. I don't mind. I'm flattered, actually. Thank you." I don't know how it happened, but Jared's hand was suddenly on my shoulder and it slowly slid down to my hand. I felt like I was floating and I felt like I was floating higher when I looked at him. Part of his mouth was curved up into a breathtaking half smile.

"So, anyway, I was hoping that you'd help me with my homework more often."

"Sure. Anytime." I told him breathlessly.

I spent most of the week doing my homework and Jared's. I'd give it to him the next day, and his warm smile would make staying up until 3 AM worth it. Today was the last day of school, but it was certainly not the last day with Jared. My class planned a class outing in First Beach right after Science, and that's when I plan to tell Jared everything. Teen Vogue says that being friends should go before admitting it, and he was my friend now, thanks to the whole homework thing.

Mr. Taft asked us to write an essay on what we learned in his science class, and I was done with that. I spent the period drawing Stacey in a whore costume to kill the remaining minutes.

After minutes that seemed like an eternity, the bell finally rang outside the hall and everyone jumped out of their seats.

"Happy summer, class." No one greeted Mr. Taft back.

I ran out of the school as fast as I could. The long path to First Beach curved downward so I let the force of gravity freely pull my running legs down.

It was indeed, summer. I could feel it, smell it, see it, hear it and taste it. The gigantic waves crashed down my feet as I walked across the sandy shore, the salty smell of the sea breeze was everywhere, birds perched on the driftwood logs, the laughter of children echoed throughout the beach and the snow cone stand was open, once again. I immediately took my clothes off since my swim suit was just under them.

"Woohoo!"

"Summer, here we come!" My classmates emerged from the path and dropped their belongings near mine.

"Who the hell invited her?"

"Man, it's like a horror movie seeing her in a bikini. Doesn't she know that she's fat?"

"I bet her daddy's with her."

"Bummer!"

Tears suddenly appeared in my eyes. It was a class gimmick and I'm part of the class. Why wasn't I welcome? I looked at my body. I did look horrible in a bikini. The layers of my fats were exposed. I put my shirt on again and wiped the tears that might fall down away. Stop crying, Kim. Just tell Jared what you feel about him and you'll leave.

"You can do this." I told myself. I took in one breath of air and walked bravely to Jared. He was with the popular group, which made admitting it harder.

"Hey, Jared."

"Yow."

"Eww, Jared. You talk to her?" Crap. If killing weren't illegal, I would have dissected Stacey alive.

"Can we be left alone for a while? I need to tell him something."

"Ooooh!" The group chorused.

"Why don't you tell it while we're here? You need witnesses you know." Stacey laughed.

"No, thank you."

"You know what I really like? Brave girls. Just don't mind them, Kim." Jared assured me. It was easy trusting those sincere eyes, but I still felt nervous and wheezy.

"Tell him! Tell him!" The crowd suddenly grew bigger. I looked back at the shore; no one was there anymore. The whole class was here. My heart palpitated rapidly, I started sweating cold sweat and I felt like crying. This wasn't how I pictured it, it was far worse. I ran away from Jared, but the boys kept on pushing me closer so I couldn't escape.

"What is it, Kim?" He smiled at me again.

"Never mind."

"No, please. Tell me." His voice was seductive.

"Jared…I."

"Yeehee!" The jeering got louder and louder. It was the perfect time; no one could hear me except him.

"Jared, I love you." That was the biggest regret of my life. The jeering suddenly stopped when I started, so they heard it. I kept on thinking about turning back time, even for just five minutes ago. If I weren't so stupid, I wouldn't be here.

"You have some nerve, Kim. If I were as fugly as you are, I'd never have the courage to admit it to Jared. Reality check: you're hopeless." Everyone laughed at Stacey's statement, including him. My heart broke into pieces and one tear slid down my cheeks.

"Kim, honey. I'm really sorry but I don't like you back. I only tolerated you because you ace my papers. I mean, c'mon! You're fat, ugly, not to mention, mini me's daughter. I would never hit on a girl like you, unless you were the last one on earth, maybe I will." He roared in laughter. I couldn't take it anymore. All the tears gushed down freely, out of hurt and out of anger. I did a lot for him—I broke my back for him, slept late all for him, and even endured this hell for him. Paul was right, he was a jerk. I raised a fist to hit his face but my classmates pushed me down the sand.

"Oww!" I cried as a lot of sand hit my eyes. I was nearly blind, and I could only open my eyes a bit. I crawled on the ground to get my bag as my classmates laughed at how pathetic I looked like. That didn't hurt now, something else hurt even more. As soon as I got my bag, I ran up to my house and cried my weary heart out.