A/N: I AM NOT J.G. QUINTEL THEREFORE REGULAR SHOW IS NOT MINE :(
P.S. Sorry for the lateness. I had a hard time thinking of how to end this chapter. Well, finally we'll be able to see the juicy stuff. Let's just hope that Rigby could handle this
Captain's Log
Chapter 4:
Just Eileen
Rigby POV: Same Day as Chapter 3 (Evening now)
The purpose of camping outdoors for me was to spend some time with my bro. But really it's to get away from it all; especially Benson and his constant nagging. So when I figured out that another camping trip was going to be ruined by Mordecai dragging though two girls along, of course I was pissed. Mainly because of who I was stuck with but at least I got something out of it…
I waited for Mordecai to go to the computer room like he always did and quickly got the book out of my travel bag. I turned out the lights and got myself a flashlight and sat on my trampoline, eager to see what juicy secrets there were lurking inside there
It didn't take much to pick the lock. I only needed a bobby pin; you'd be surprised what you could find in the trash cans in this house but that's another story
I opened the book and the first thing I noticed was that a good chunk of the pages were ripped out. Then I happened to look at the cover page where you sign your name and stuff…the last name was scribbled out. I even shined the flashlight behind the page but I couldn't decipher it 'Oh well' So I turned to the first page...
'Funny' I thought. I looked at the top corner of the other entries 'this entry doesn't have a date' I started to read it and the sentence started in the middle like the last ripped page had the first part of it, damn it
Eileen Diary POV:
…and at that moment, humiliation was an understatement of how I felt. I didn't want to come here in the first place. Parties aren't really my thing and the people that I wanted to come with me had other things to do or were sick. So now I'm stuck in this elongated scene of unfortunate circumstances alone, wet, and drowning in this sea of laughter
'Oh it'll be fun they said...All because I can't go shouldn't hinder you from going, they said. Well is being disgraced in front of everybody, what they saw as fun?!'
I sat there for a while…watching; getting a good look at most of the people surrounding me, remembering how most of them said they were my 'friends'. I guess that was wishful thinking. Thinking that finally the popular kids would actually accept me all of the sudden. I should have known that going to this party would only result in me being the butt of another joke. Really, I was so deep in shame that not even the punch bowl resting on my head could shield the embarrassment I was feeling
Even though I felt like I was frozen in this spot on the floor, I managed to get up; letting the bowl hit the floor. I slowly walked out of the ballroom; little by little muting the taunting voices as I cut through the sea of people. I even felt some people tugging my arms; laughing half drunken with hilarity and half from the liquor they snuck in. After I managed to get out, I leaned on the closed door and soon my eyes started to burn from the tears and make-up running in my eyes, almost to the point that it didn't really matter that I was wearing contacts or not
However, my moment of private depression was short-lived when I over heard them saying "oh, I can't believe that worked. We should totally find that loser and see the look on her face" That instant, I took those blasted heels off and ran down the hall, up the stairs, out to the open air, and into the water. Not caring that it was cold, that it was pitch black out or that the shore was a mile off. Any place was better than there
It took me two hours to get home since I left my purse behind. I was glad that I was finally out of the dress and in something dry but my gladness was miniscule compared to the misery I was feeling now. It's bad enough that I had to endure the worse night of my life but I couldn't even come home to get away from it all. As I'm laying on my bed, I could also hear my parents' constant yelling downstairs. They were so into their quarrelling that they didn't even detect their own daughter coming into the house, so late at night, dripping water all over the place. They had been arguing more frequently recently that I don't think that there was a moment when they weren't screaming at each other
So that's why I'm writing in you, Diary. I don't know what I should do. My brain is full of unwanted voices that just won't seem to cease...
'Oh did you see her fall?'
'Yeah, I know. That was so priceless'
'OOOHHHHH! I can't believe you just wrote DUNCE on the bowl'
'That'll teach you to stay in your place, Blind Moldy'
'Oh, I can't believe she thought she could even have a chance with him, how pathetic'
'Oh are you going to cry, Ugly Mole?...Ugly Mole…Ugly…Blind…Pathetic…What are you doing buying that anyway? You know we're struggling as it is and you know we have only a few days to pay the rent' [Changed to Parents' argument]
"Well, maybe if you weren't such a lazy bastard and got yourself a real job, we wouldn't be in this mess"
"Who are you calling lazy when you've never worked a day in your life? All you do is sit around the house all day, you don't clean and you barely cook. I have to do all of those things"
"Well, at least when I'm here, I don't use up everything like money grows on trees. Serious, you eat like the apocalypse is approaching tomorrow. Who eats a whole pound of ham on a sandwich?"
"Well, at least I'm not a shopaholic. Always buying, buying, buying. Spending, spending, spending like you're actually going to use the things you buy. You still have a dress with the price tag on it that you haven't worn in ten years"
"Well what's worse? Me and shopping or you and this hoarding obsession you have. You can't even go down the street without picking something up from the side of the road. You're the one that's spending useless money trying to fix up piles of junk when you know you can't" [Slap] "Sometimes I wonder if I didn't have you or that worthless excuse for a child, how my life would have been so much easier"
This house was never this silent in two months after what my mother just said
'So, I'm just a sorry excuse for a daughter, huh? Fine. Sorry I burdened you for the past eighteen years of your life'
Rigby POV:
'Damn, did she committed suicide or something? No what, I just saw her today, duh. Damn it though, she acting like her parents are bad. And sure they sound like they suck but surely, if she thought that was bad, then she definitely wouldn't have lasted if she had my parents. They never liked me from the get-go. It was always Don-this and Don-that, it was always Don and when Mordecai mentioned about this job that provided room and board, they couldn't wait to kick me out. Well enough about me, let see this next entry' I thought as I was trying to juggle the diary, the flashlight and Mordecai's old dictionary...What? Half of the words in here were too hard to understand
Eileen Diary POV:
Dear Diary,
It's been a while since I wrote in you and you're probably wondering why this crazy brunette took you to the middle of the forest, but all questions will be answered momentarily
I presume you may not recognize me but after that night, I guess we both changed, didn't we? You with your missing pages and me with my new badly cut hair
Getting to why we're here, first off, after hearing all of the arguing back home, I couldn't take anymore so I decided to run away from home. Clearly I wasn't wanted back home and I definitely wasn't going to stay in the city where people I knew resided and where crazy rapists might be so now I'm in this cave where it looks like a bear used to hibernate here. I hope he doesn't come back any time soon
Next, I bet you're feeling bad that I ripped some of your pages out and I'm sorry about that. I was using it to keep the fire going. I even used some of my hair and the blue dress I wore that dreadful night; even though I wasn't sad to see that burn. It, like the bad memories in the pages I ripped out and burned, were only poignant segments of my life that deserved to be smoldered in the fire along with the old self I'm leaving behind…including memories of Lewis
Dear Diary,
It's just Eileen here. I am so distraught right now. Usually I love camping, and I still do. I love the wide open spaces, the fresh air, observing the wildlife (and imitating the animal channel narrations in the background), climbing the trees to see an awesome canopy-view, exploring caves and collecting the rocks there, and just doing crazy stuff. But when you're up here for a whole month without that much to eat, in July, it could really put a damper on things. And after what happened last night with the bunny, this really made me think that I need to get a job and find an apartment I could rent. Seriously, I never want to have to do that again and I feel so guilty that it tasted so good too. So regrettably, I have no choice but to go and get my diploma so I could have something to show when I try to apply for a job. But sadly, this means I have to go back to my old high school [1]
Dear Diary,
You wouldn't believe the trouble I had to go through to get this. When I got there, thank goodness there wasn't any classmates I knew but unfortunately, the student faculty sure did. They were all in a quandary, wondering where I went the night of the party. Apparently, my parents were calling everyone wondering where I was and everybody was going in a panic
I managed to keep a calm demeanor and received my diploma but I feel bad that I had to lie and say that I would go home afterwards. I wasn't going back. Not even if what they were saying was true. I doubt my mother even misses me and is having a ball right now. There is no sense in spoiling her fun so I'll let her have that
Well, hopefully tomorrow, the sun will shine brightly on my harvest and produce me a job I could work at
Dear Diary,
It's been a week since I went job hunting and still I have nothing to show for it. I was more than qualified for more than half of the jobs I applied for. It was just that since I didn't have a permanent resident or a banking account, no one would hire me. I was just a homeless freak to them. Well I can't give up now because as I said, I don't want to end up being a bunny murderer for the rest of my life so, I have to press on. Hopefully something will turn up soon
Dear Diary,
Diary, I have great news, I got a job and I found a place to stay...but I never thought I would have to go through so much to obtain it...
I got lucky around lunchtime, when I stumbled upon a 'Help Wanted' sign in a large, basic coffee shop. Even the name was called 'Coffee Shop'...weird
I walked in the coffee establishment and it was filled to the brim with customers and one red-head waitress running around frantic; collecting and serving orders. When I walked down the stairs, I saw that she was holding a huge amount of food on a tray and was having trouble. I was about to go up and ask her where I could go to get a worker's application when she slipped on some trash carelessly left on the floor and dropped a sandwich and a slice of apple pie. Quickly thinking, I baseball slide across the floor and caught the sandwich and pie (on their plates) before they hit the ground
"That would have been tragic now wouldn't it? Here's your food sir" I said handing the unscathed meals to their happy patrons
"Wow, that was so cool" the waitress said to me
"Uh, thanks, it was nothing" I said a little embarrassed as I held my left arm shyly
"What? No way, I know nothing and that's surely not nothing" I know a double negative. That freaked me out too "You definitely have to try out for the new waitress position that just opened up. I could surely use your help" She said dragging me by the arm to what I presumed to be the Manager's Office
When I get there, I entered into a rather small room where a stout man with gray hair (slightly balding) was sitting. He looked to be busy with a mountain of paperwork on his desk so I wondered if this was the best time but he interrupted my thoughts when he said
"Come in, come in. I don't have all day" I sat down on the only other chair in the room; across from his desk and was about to tell him why I was here when he said "You're here for the waitress job, I presume"
"Precisely"
'Or any job really. I wouldn't mind being the one mopping floors. I just need something to hold me over a bit'
"Alright, take this, fill this out, and come back to me when you're done" the man said to me and handed me three sheets of paper
I took an empty seat in the main part of the coffee shop and started to fill it out when I ran into the section that troubled me in every other application I filled out before…the contact information. While I stuck on that section of the form, the red-haired waitress I met earlier came to my seat a few minutes later and asked me
"Hey, would you like something to eat while you're filling this out?"
"No thank you" I said a little bummed out
"Hmm, are you having trouble? I could always help you out if you need it"
"Nah, it's ok, I don't want to trouble you. Besides, you already look like you have your hands full already"
"Okay" she said as she left to tend to some new people that just came in. After I filled out as much as I could, I handed the papers to the manager. He skimmed through it and brushed me off saying
"Alright, we'll get a hold of you if something comes up" Usually when they say that, most of the time, you didn't make it. I'm not surprised. Even if I was right for the job, how could he contact me or cash my check when I don't have a place to live. So filled with grief, I departed from the coffee shop
##########
Later that day, I started to head back to my camping spot. The sun was starting to set and I wanted to get back before it got too dark so as I was walking from town to town, I felt like I was being followed. I tried to not look behind me as I quickened my pace. Panicking, I ran as fast as I could until I accidentally ran into an alley [2]. It was hard to see who the person was because the sun was no longer in the sky and I wasn't planning to find out either
"Hey, you stay away from me" I said as the figure started to move in closer. All you could see was it's wicked smile and what looked like to be a weapon in his hand
"Don't worry. If you don't struggle, it'll be over quickly" I frantically looked around for a way out when I spotted a fire escape ladder. I attempted to jump for it and I managed to grab it. I quickly began to climb it until I felt a tug on my leg. I struggled for a second to get out of his grasp but to no avail. He pulled me down and I hit hard on the ground despite the backpack I was wearing. And it didn't help that I hit my arm on a garbage can too.
When I regained consciousness, I found that he was over my body looking hungry. Once my attacker noticed I was awake, he pulled his knife to my throat and said
"Scream one word and I won't hesitate to slice your neck" I winced as I felt the cold blade touch the skin of my esophagus
As I laid there, my brain was feeling more pressure than my physical body. Because really, why does it seem like people take one look at me and feel like they could do whatever, say whatever, or even touch whatever. I'm a normal human like everyone else and yet I'm always singled out. Just like now. Doesn't this person know I have feelings too? That I hurt, bleed and feel pain like everyone else? Well, I'm tired of this. Tired of being the butt of everyone's joke, the one that no one will ever want…the one that is looked at as pathetic and worthless. I've left that person behind and I'm not going to revert back again!
With that boost of nerves, I quickly kneed him where the sun didn't shine and he falter a bit but he remain on top of me
"You little brat. I warned you" As soon as he was about to slit my neck, I heard a 'bwonk' noise. The guy stopped his movements and fell to the ground. I looked up and saw a woman with a frying pan
"Hurry up, don't just sit there" she said pulling me from under him. She dragged me from out of the alley and into an apartment building (which happened to be next to the alleyway). When we were inside, she quickly locked the door and leaned against it "You should be more careful. You shouldn't be outside, late at night by yourself anyway" When she lifted her head after taking a few breaths, I recognized her as the red-head from the coffee shop. I almost didn't recognize her wearing pajamas and having her hair in a different hairstyle "I guess it was good that I came home early today. Are you alright? Did he do anything to you?"
"No, he was about to though"
"Good, I wasn't too late" She said putting her hand on her chest with a sigh of relief "Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I need to tell you something" She walked in the other room and popped out with the uniform she was wearing earlier "Guess who gets to wear this tomorrow?" She sang
"I don't know, you?" I said perplexed at her question
"Ha, ha, very funny. No. Here's a hint" She walked behind me and placed the uniform in front of my body. It touched the ground when she held it against me because she was taller than me but the message went through
"You don't mean?"
"Yep, you got the job. You start Thursday, and tomorrow we're going to fit you for your very own uniform"
"I can't believe this" I was so overwhelmed with emotions that it almost seemed too good to be true that I finally got a job
"Well believe it because tomorrow you'll have to wake up pretty early so you should get some rest" She said while she was pulling out a mattress located in the tan couch in the living room "And I think I have something for you to sleep in that won't swim on you" She said to herself "I'll take a look"
"Wait, this is very kind of you, really it is and I appreciated what you're doing but I could never stay the night. I don't won't you to feel obligated to farther burden yourself"
"Oh don't worry about it. I wasn't planning on having you stay the night anyway…after all, do you need a shower, some breakfast, and a home to come to afterwards so-"
"What?"
"It's this simple. Until you find yourself a place to stay, you could consider this 'Home, Sweet, Apartment'"
"Wait, how did you know..."
"After you left, I went to ask the boss if you got the job when I saw him throwing out your papers. After having a fierce talk with him, I found out that you didn't have a place to live. If that was the only thing stopping you from getting a job, I simply told him that as of now, you were living here. After all, having an awesome plate handler like yourself would be great. Especially since I could use the help…" Even though she was very joyous about this, I wasn't. Sure this was very nice of her but she seems to be very naïve to be letting a complete stranger into her house like this. I shouldn't take advantage of that even if it works out better for me "…so I'm going to get something for you to wear"
"I don't think that'll be necessary" I said putting my hand on the doorknob "I don't wish to burden you any longer. I thank you for your efforts to getting me a job and sacrificing your own living room for me, but…" I didn't even know that I was tearing until I saw droplets leak on the jacket I was wearing. I was so inundated with guilt and confusion that I didn't know what to do with myself. I found myself saying "I just don't get you. Why are you so hooked on helping a complete stranger? Especially when you don't know me at all. Why are you just wasting your time on me? I'm no different than anyone else in this town. I bet I wasn't the only one who applied for that job. Why me? I don't deserve your kindness"
"And it's thinking like that that'll destroy a person. What makes you think that nobody can receive kindness even when they don't deserve it? I may judge a book by its cover but yours says anything but ordinary. It also says you're a kind, caring, skilled, and a pretty cool person. It's probably this lack of self-confidence that's making you think this way but for your information, in just the few minutes that I met you, you were clearly not a waste of time and definitely not a burden to me" I started to hear myself snuffling now as my tears ran like it there wasn't going to be an end to them
'What should I do?' I felt her put her hand on my shoulder and say
"Alright, even if you decide to not be my roommate, you should at least stay the night. Especially since that rapist is still out there. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I let you walk out that door right now and something happened to you" she continued
'I was burdening her even by leaving?' I thought as I turned around and sat on the couch bed in defeat
"Alright" I told her
So right now, I'm lying on this couch bed. It's 1:46am and my mind is still wondering about what happened today and all I could think of was it's amazing how cruel this world is, and yet there is still a ray of light in some places. I now have a bed to sleep in tonight and I'm not freezing to death, I have a job and I'm soon going to be able to support myself and as happy as I am right, I still have a little part of me that's wondering…how long is it going to last
Rigby POV:
After that, I closed the book. I put away my flashlight and the dictionary and put the diary under the clothes I was using for pillows and just laid there thinking
'She almost got raped…and I…why didn't she murder me when I held her last night?'
A/N: Sad, wasn't it but at least everything seems to be alright now. I just wanted to make it look like Eileen has gone through so much and I bet she has…but as people say: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger
[1] I know that not every school does this but when I went to high school, they didn't mail the diploma to you, you had to go over there and get it. Stupid, I know
[2] For people who paid close attention to the episode 'It's Time', they'd say that there is no alley way by Margaret's old house/apartment but they only show the right side. So presume that the alley way is on the left side, along with a fire escape