Submission Name: I Will Love Again
Author: SnowChaser
Pairing(s): Nicole Miller x Wade Wilson
Author's Note: Nicole-centric. First of three-parts, but each can stand alone. Picks up on "Comatose", but ends just prior to "Better than Me". Will also include, "Broken". As I said, this is a three-part arc; two are complete.
Thank you's: Captain Deadpool- Thank you.
Arrested Attention- Thank you so much! There are quite a few more, actually- most still in planning stage. And I'm tempted to try a chapter through the eyes of Wade the Cat, if only to amuse myself.
Summary: Even if it took a lifetime, she would find love again.
---
"Did I ever tell you how you live in me?
Every waking moment, even in my dreams...
And if all this talk is crazy, and you don't know what I mean-
Does it really matter, oh, just as long as I believe.
I will love again, though my heart is breaking.
I will love again, stronger than before.
I will love again, even if it takes a lifetime to get over you.
heaven only knows, I will love again."
- Lara Fabian; "I Will Love Again" (slow version)
---
She didn't like hospitals. She had been able to tolerate them while distracted, but this time Wade wasn't around to keep her occupied. Without him, the room seemed closed and suffocating. Worse, though, were the looks from the nurses. They had heard about her rescue from the wreckage of Three-Mile Island, and every one seemed to think that she needed to be comforted. That, in itself, didn't bother her. It was the stares, the whispers. They all clearly thought she was out of her mind, going back in to find him.
She wasn't crazy.
She was in love.
Wade had been her heart, as well as her defender. Her constant companion, through good times as well as bad- and everything in between. She had been his confidant- the one person he could turn to when he truly felt like hell. And yet, she never complained. In fact, she welcomed it. He found solace in her embrace, and she had found comfort in his. They fit together, perfectly- despite the height difference. Seeing him die had been devastating to Nicole. The scene kept playing back, both in waking hours as well as twisted dreams.
Only the dreams didn't end there. They continued, and, at the conclusion of each one, Wade was back, and up to his old tricks. She would wake with a smile, only to find him gone, and the cold sterility of the room around her. This would normally send her into a violent fit, cursing in her own language, yet crying the whole while. Yes- she'd been doing that quite a bit, lately. Ever since being separated from Wade, in fact. While she would have what could only be termed as a breakdown, her nurses would gather around her- the day nurse, Veronica, would simply wrap her into a hug and rock her gently. These shows of weakness, though- they had to stop.
Without Wade, she was vulnerable.
She would have to toughen up, if she wanted to survive. The world was harsh, and she knew this first hand. Still- Wade had been her protector, and that had conditioned her to one thing- a false sense of security. Oftentimes, she wouldn't even see the danger until Wade had already shot into action (eventually, she'd come to associate the sound of Wade drawing his katanas with a direct attack on her). As a result, she had let her guard down to the point of having a kind of innocence to her that was almost childlike.
Yet, she wasn't a child. Hadn't been one for a very, very long time.
And the world had no place for the innocent.
---
Six months after she had been released from the hospital, Nicole decided to get a new tattoo. A memorial, if you will. Her right wrist now sported a pair of katanas, in a perfect 'X'. In the center, a heart, with one simple initial in the center. 'W'. The artist who had designed the tattoo had strongly discouraged her from putting the initial there- he didn't want her to cover it up- but she had blatantly refused to cave. This was, after all, a design for Wade.
She had settled into civilian life fairly well. While she still woke up from nightmares, she was no longer sobbing into her pillows when she woke, which was surely a good sign. But there had been bigger changes- and more significant ones- than this. As she had put muscle tone back on, and weight, she had begun to train. Using everything Wade had taught her, she was regaining confidence in herself. She'd actually been complimented by her teachers, and praised for being such a good student. This boost in self-esteem was a welcome change.
Of course, with her history and former occupation, there was really only one thing she was suited for. She fell in easily with her contemporaries, and jobs quickly followed. She worked her way up, eventually becoming known as 'Synn'. This came directly from Wade, and the thought still made her smile.
"Nicci-" he'd said, giving her that grin. "It's a sin for you to look so good in that." It quickly became an inside joke. The phrase had become a nickname, of sorts, and now it had become an alias.
---
Two years later, she had purchased an adorable Siamese kitten, whom she had promptly named Wade. Not only was the little tom kitten very vocal, but he had taken to curling up against her side at night. His purr was deep and low, and there was something about the way the cat would look at her. A tilt to the head, a head-butt, or even a meow. She had fully adjusted to the life of a mercenary now, and all the benefits thereof. She even had a 'signature look' with her tight catsuit. Black, supple leather, accented by teal piping (which also happened to accent a certain part of her anatomy). Her boots, teal in color, were accented by black. And her long, luxurious black hair? Braided, and against her back in a single plait.
A silver artillery belt completed the look, slung low over her hips. All in all, she knew that her delicate appearance was a mere illusion. She could handle herself, and quite well. The biggest change, however, was that she had adopted a new speech pattern. Being surrounded by those who spoke English had a positive effect, and she learned to speak the language naturally. She'd even begun mixing in phrases that she found amusing.
---
The ringing of her phone caused her to drop the bag of groceries she was holding, as she made a mad dash to silence it. A pair of amused, slitter blue eyes watched her, and the second her back was turned, Wade the Cat slunk forward to peer into the paper bag. Not only was it full of food, it made for something amusing to roll around the floor in. He crawled into the bag, peering out as his mistress finally got her hands on the receiver.
"Hello?" Her voice was firm, as it always was when first picking up the line.
"Is this Synn...?" The voice on the other end of the line was unfamiliar, with a hint of an accent that she couldn't place.
"It is." Her clipped response caused the playful Siamese to roll onto his back and look up at her. She bit back a laugh at the cat's antics.
"I have a proposition for you."
"I'm listening."
---
The offer was a good one. Still, working with another merc was not her typical style, but she couldn't deny that she'd heard of Deadpool. The chance to work with him was a rare one, and she jumped at it. The meeting place had been set, and she had arrived early. Coolly, she paced along the ledge of the roof, enjoying the thrill of being so close to the edge. She only stopped when footfalls were heard. Edging into the shadows, she watched the broad-shouldered silhouette of a man stride confidently through the door. His stance, and the tell-tale crimson/black attire made him instantly identifiable.
She stepped from the shadows, drawing his attention. She knew how to work it, especially around men, so she refused to walk- instead, she strutted as if the roof happened to be a Paris runway. The low-slung artillery belt did wonders, and she could tell he was hooked just from the way his stance shifted. Her nostrils flared, slightly- the feral in her seemed to recognize something about Deadpool, but she squashed it.
"Whatcha lookin' at?"