NOTE: Sorry for the wait guys! I know it took me a long time to write this but I appreciate the patience. Took a while to update this...because it's super long. :P Hopefully, the length can make up for the delay.
Oh, and I went back to my little 80's inspiration track. I would advise listening to "I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore" by REO Speedwagon (which I do not own in any way) before reading this chapter. It might make a little more sense. ;)
WARNINGS: Some boyXboy, some swearing, and oh. Tai has leukemia...so you should be aware that the chances of character death is in the air. O.O
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters of Digimon.
4. JUNE
A small, 2007 Suzuki, Reno came jerking to a stop at the edge of a forest. The bushy haired driver blinked in surprised then turned and grinned at his blonde passenger.
"Ok Matt, I think we're here," he stated. Matt peaked through his fingers to take a peek of their surroundings and then slowly lowered his hands. They were parked in a clearing that was made of dirt and just a few feet in front of them was a forest. The lush green leaves swayed to the direction the wind blew them and as they rubbed against the branches and other leaves, they made a soft rustling sound. Matt looked upward to the sky and saw that the chance of it raining still made a noble threat on Matt's surprise.
"This is the right place, right?" Tai interrupted Matt's thoughts.
"Oh, yeah, this is it," Matt nodded. He stared nervously at the brunette who was driving his mother's manual operated car. "Ok Tai. You remember how to turn this car off right?"
"Yes sir," Tai nodded. He thought carefully to himself for a moment. "First I push the clutch." His left foot pressed down on the far left petal. "Then I place the stick on first gear." He adjusted the stick shift so that it rested on the first slot. "And then I shut off the car!"
"Wait Tai!" Matt tried to warn his friend, but the brunette already turned the keys towards the off position. The silver Reno jerked forward before shutting off completely. Tai stared at the now dead car in a daze before looking at Matt. "I was going to say that you were supposed to put it on neutral and then shut off the car."
"…oh," Tai grinned sheepishly. "That makes sense now." The brunette pulled the emergency break and then proceeded to get out of the car. "I guess we can definitely cross this off of my list, huh Matt."
"Y-yeah," the blonde answered hesitantly as he also got out of the car. "I think it'd be safe to say that you now know how to drive a manual operated car."
"Remind me to thank your mom for letting us borrow her car again," Tai grinned. At the word "mom," Matt quickly started examining the car for any scratches or dents. "I'm kind of surprised that she let us borrow it actually."
"Yeah, me too," Matt mumbled, now checking underneath the car. That was a lie. Matt knew perfectly well why exactly his mother let them borrow the car. When Matt had first asked his mother, she said no. Once he explained Tai's situation and how long he had left to complete this list however, his mother handed him the keys and said to bring it back whenever he finished learning.
"I wasn't that bad of a driver," Tai frowned at his friend.
"Who said you were?" Matt asked.
"Every time we stop, you run around the car like a scared chicken."
"I do not! I'm just making sure my mom's car isn't scratched or anything."
"Uh-huh."
"…But you're right Tai. You're not a bad driver when it comes to stick shift." Inexperienced, maybe…but not bad…
"Thanks Matt. I'm glad to hear it." Tai continued to watch as Matt did a second quick examination of the car. "So why are we here anyways?" Matt's eyes finally left the car and looked upon his brunette friend.
"Oh that's right," he grinned. Quickly locking the doors of the car, the blonde motioned for his friend to follow him through the woods. Matt made sure to keep a slow steady pace while they walked, just in case Tai had taken his chemo pills. For the most part, Tai was silent during their small trek through the woods, but every once in a while, he would glance over at Matt. And if Matt glanced back, he would smile and then look onward again, not catching the slight blush that would appear on the cherry of the blonde's cheek. After a few minutes of walking, the trees around them started to thin out, until finally they came to a different clearing. In the clearing was a large pile of left over railroad ties and two separate sets of railroad tracks. Tai stared out at the tracks then gave Matt a confused look.
"Railroad tracks?" he questioned.
"Yeah," Matt nodded and started walking over to the tracks. Tai still stood at the edge of the trees as Matt started walking on the train tracks. "You did put that you wanted to walk on train tracks on your list, right?" Tai let out an "OH!" of excitement and quickly joined his blonde friend. "Took you long enough."
"Well it's not like I memorized my list or anything," Tai shrugged.
"Obviously," Matt teased. "Now just remember that we parked near that pile of wood, ok?" Tai nodded. The two walked silently on the tracks, enjoying the scenery around them.
"Something feels off," the brunette muttered.
"Are you feeling ok?" Matt asked quickly. "You don't need to sit down or anything?"
"No, I'm fine," Tai shook his head. "I don't know…I guess I had this idea that when I was walking down these tracks…" He chuckled then shook his head again.
"What?" the blonde questioned. Tai said nothing, and so Matt rolled his eyes and continued looking ahead. "Hmph, whatever." After a moment, Matt felt Tai gently taking his hand. The blonde stopped walking and quickly looked at the other boy who had an extremely nervous look on his face.
"…This…ok?" Tai manage to mutter. Matt nodded slowly. They stared at each other carefully, to make sure the other wouldn't pull away, then continued walking down the path of steel and wood. "…This feels better now."
"That's good," Matt mumbled, trying to make sure Tai didn't see the blush on his face.
"I'm not making you feel awkward…am I Matt?" the brunette asked sincerely.
"No," Matt answered. "Besides, nothing can beat that awkward moment when we walked through the drive through."
"Oh yeah," Tai laughed. "That was fun!"
"For you maybe," Matt playfully glared. "You didn't see the death stares we were getting. Especially once you pulled out your wallet and started paying for the meal all in coins!"
"Well you never liked McDonalds anyways," Tai shrugged, trying to pretend he was innocent. "So don't feel bad if they ban you for the rest of your life."
"Thanks for the help. Now that's one less place I can take people on dates."
"Wow, that'd be one romantic date Matt. Dinner at McDonalds and then to top it off, a terrifying ride on a gondola."
"The gondola ride was your idea Tai!"
"Well I didn't know we'd spend half the time trying to keep the boat balanced so that we didn't fall in!"
"What about the other half? When you decided to lean over on my side and caused the boat to turn over?" Tai opened his mouth to protest, but after remembering the event, he started laughing. Matt joined in the laughter for a moment before a low thundering growl resonated in the sky.
"You think it's going to rain?" Tai asked as he looked up at the sky.
"It looks like it," Matt too turned his head upward to the sky. "I just don't know when." Tai nodded understandingly. The blonde felt the other boy adjust his hand so that now their fingers were laced together. Matt glanced down at their hands while trying to hide the smile on his face.
"Hey Matt?" Tai spoke up. "I don't think I've ever asked you this…but have you ever…kissed anyone?" Matt frowned at the question.
"…Yeah…" he muttered.
"Oh," Tai sounded discouraged. "Like…how many?"
"…a few…" Matt kept his eyes up ahead. He was the heart-throb lead singer of a popular band…of course there would have been a kiss…or two…
"Oh," Tai muttered again. The tight grip he once had on Matt's hand notably loosened.
"But it's not like I'm the only boy who's kissed a girl before," Matt tried to shrug off, while also trying to hold on to Tai's hand. "I mean, I'm sure you being a great soccer player have kissed a couple girls yourself, right?" Tai didn't respond. "…Have you kissed anyone?"
"…no…" Tai said.
"…oh…" Matt frowned. The darker skinned boy gently pulled his hand away from the other boy and shoved both hands in his back pockets. Matt mentally kicked himself for being such a lip whore. While thinking back to all the crazy parties and secret places his kisses had taken place at, it took him a moment to realize that he was walking alone. Turning back, he saw Tai standing alone, staring at the ground. Matt frowned and slowly walked back to him.
"Hey, I'm sorry," the blonde said to the upset boy. "If it…helps…they didn't really mean anything to me. Hell, I don't even know who half of them were." Tai lowered his head even more and Matt covered his mouth. "Wait, no! I mean, I think I know who they were. It was just either too dark or too crazy for me to really pay attention. I could have been kissing T.K. for all I know." Matt felt his face burn up with what he had just said. "Wait! No! That's not what I mean! What I mean is—"
"Talk anymore and I think you'll end up swallowing your leg and foot Matt," Tai finally grinned at the embarrassed blonde. Matt let out a deep exhale and put a hand to his forehead, slightly flustered. "…I need to tell you something though." The blonde looked up at the brunette. Tai stared into Matt's sapphire blue eyes for a moment, then he sighed and shook his head. "I don't know how to say it…" The tone in his voice was starting to worry Matt.
"Are your chemo pills starting to make you tired?" the blonde offered. "We can just head back to the car now. It's not far."
"No, I'm…fine…" Tai muttered.
"That didn't sound very convincing Tai," Matt said. Tai shrugged but didn't say anything. "Did…you forget to take your pills? Is that it?"
"Matt…there are no pills," the brunette stared right into the blonde's eyes. "I went to the doctor last week because of some horrible stomach aches I was having that caused me to throw up. It turns out that it was just my body rejecting the chemo pills once again." Matt's eyes widened in shock as Tai continued. "Those pills I was taking were the last kind the doctor could prescribe to me to treat this…I…I haven't had any sort of treatment since then…"
"W-what?" Matt gasped. Tai held up his hands defensively.
"But we're starting the actual chemotherapy tomorrow!" He explained. "Once I go through some procedures, my body will be able to fight the cancer again! It's going to be ok, really!"
"You went a full week without any sort of treatment?"
"I feel fine—"
"Tai! Who knows what sort of effect the cancer has had since you've stopped taking anything to help you fight it!"
"I said I was going to start chemotherapy tomorrow! I know we should have gone sooner but schedule wise, it wasn't working out. Once they start zapping me with radiation, or whatever it is they do, I'll be right as rain again."
"But…what about…" Matt's eyes drifted up towards Tai's thick brown hair. Tai tapped the edge of the steel rails with his shoe and shrugged.
"Well, the doctor said that each person reacts to chemo treatments with different symptoms," he mumbled. "Besides…you gotta do what you gotta do." Matt looked down at the ground as his heart ached with worry and dread. What was going to happen to Tai now? What if the chemotherapy treatments were also rejected by his body? Had they just lost the battle and would soon witness the cancer's takeover his friend's body? The blonde felt a gentle hand on his chin and it slowly lifted his face up. Tai smiled at him, trying to give some comfort to the horrible news. "I'll be ok Matt. I…promise." Matt looked into Tai's dark caramel eyes; he was trying to see if he was putting up a façade or not. Before he could really determine which it was, a loud crack of thunder echoed through the sky before a heavy down pour of rain was finally released. The two friends stared up at the sky, then at each other.
"We should head back to the car," Matt shouted over the sound of rain hitting the dirt ground.
"Why?" Tai asked innocently.
"You mean besides the fact that walking on railroad tracks is illegal?" Matt shouted.
"It is?" Tai blinked.
"Yes!"
"Oh…Well screw that!" Tai stretched out his arms. "It's like nature is giving us a personalized shower! It feels amazing!"
"You—we're going to get sick!" Matt argued. Damn, he was doing such a good job on not trying to make Tai seem so defenseless. Luckily for Matt, Tai either didn't notice, or ignored it. The brown haired boy let out an excited cheer as another crack of thunder echoed out, though not as loud as the first. Suddenly, Tai started dancing on the train tracks like a madman.
"I'm si-i-inging in the rain!" Tai belted out. "Just si-i-inging in the rain!" Matt rolled his eyes but couldn't help but smile at Tai's off-key singing and horrible rendition of the famous dance sequence. "What a glo-o-orious feeling—"
"Hey! Don't ruin the master piece Gene Kelly created!" Matt called out. Tai stopped dancing and pouted at the blonde.
"Way to kill the mood," he whined.
"Come on you weirdo," Matt gestured for them to start walking back to the car. "Let's go before a train comes and hits us." For a moment, Matt actually believed that the brunette would listen to him. After a few steps however, Matt soon realized that he was, once again, walking alone. He sighed and was about to shout back at Tai to start moving, but stopped when he heard something come from the other boy. Matt turned back, and through the heavy down pour, he saw Tai standing in the middle of the tracks. His once happy child-like attitude had changed into a more timid one.
"…I can't fight this feeling any longer," Tai repeated louder, his voice slightly shaking. "…And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow." The blonde blinked in confusion for a moment as the brunette then started walking towards him. "What started off as friendship has grown stronger…" Matt's confusion slowly turned into an excited panic when Tai stopped only a few inches away from his body. The blonde leaned away slightly, unsure of what his friend was doing. Tai half smiled and shrugged slightly. "I only wish I had strength to let it show."
"…you're singing an 80's song, aren't you?" Matt guessed. "By REO Speedwagon?"
"Took you that long to figure out Mr. Rock-Star?" Tai grinned. A low growl of thunder hid Matt's soft groan. "Your turn."
"What?" Matt took a small step away from Tai.
"Your turn to sing," Tai repeated. Matt looked unsurely at Tai. "Come on, obviously you know the song. And don't you remember that having a random musical number is on my list?"
"Well, yeah, but—"
"It's perfect too! We're alone, the rain is pouring down…this is exactly like some cheesy romantic musical scene." Matt rubbed the back of his neck. "And besides, you're a better singer than I am…so what do you say Mr. Gene Kelly?" Matt stared right into Tai's puppy-dog pout before he sighed in defeat.
"…I tell myself that I can't hold out forever," Matt sang.
"What? I can't hear you!" Tai placed a hand to his ear. "It's raining really hard, you're going to have to belt it!"
"I tell myself that I can't hold out forever!" Matt belted out louder.
"There we go!" Tai grinned happily.
"I say there is no reason for my fear," Matt rolled his eyes, amused at his friend's happy attitude had returned. "'Cause I feel so secure when we're together." Matt noticed how close Tai's face was to his own. "You give my life direction…" Tai gently took both of Matt's hands and touched his forehead with his own.
"You make everything so clear," both boys sang together. Tai's warm breath gently tickled Matt's lips, making the blonde ache to close the distance between them. Before he was given the chance, Tai took a firm hold of one of Matt's hands and started racing down the train tracks. A confused blonde tried his best to not trip over the wooden ties as he was dragged away by his friend. Tai finally stopped and let go of Matt's hand. Matt watched as Tai pretended to be searching for something in the distance.
"And even as I wander," Tai belted out over the pouring rain. He then turned and pointed at Matt. "I'm keeping you in sight!" Matt rolled his eyes playfully, then wrapped his arms around Tai's waist. The brunette froze slightly, but then placed his own arms around Matt.
"You're a candle in the window on a cold, dark, winter's night," the blonde sang out. Tai pulled Matt into a tight hug, which gave Matt the opportunity to bury his face into the crook of Tai's neck for at least a moment. Even though the downpour made the atmosphere cold and wet, Tai's body heat was still as warm as ever. As Matt's lips innocently touched the darker boy's wet skin, a shiver ran down his spine.
"And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might!" the two boys sang together, pulling away slightly from their hug. Tai let go of Matt's hold and mimicked the short instrumental part of the song, both with actions and with singing.
"Take it Matt!" Tai gestured to his blonde friend. "And don't forget to add some dance moves!"
"I'm not much of a dancer Tai," Matt frowned.
"Well just act out the motions then," Tai suggested. "Ready, set, go!" Tai pretended to bang on some drums as he sang out the instrumental part again. Matt sighed and held out his arms…slightly.
"And I can't fight this feeling anymore," Matt sang.
"Bigger! Louder!" Tai barked.
"AND I CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING ANYMORE!" Matt threw out his hand and nearly screamed at the sky.
"There we go!" Tai cheered.
"I've forgotten what I started fighting for!" Matt sang out and made a big shrug gesture. "It's time to bring this ship into the shore!" Matt pretended to be pulling in a boat from the sea. Then, he made a throwing motion towards his right. "And throw away the oars forever!" Matt dropped his hands and slightly glared at Tai. "I feel stupid now."
"My turn!" Tai happily barked. He pumped his fist into the air as another boom of thunder echoed in the sky. "'CAUSE I CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING ANYMORE!" The brunette jumped into the nearest puddle he could find and threw his arms out openly. "I've forgotten what I started fighting for!" Matt laughed at Tai's extreme actions. The brunette launched himself at Matt and held on to his shoulders. "And if I have to crawl upon the floor!" Tai picked Matt up and spun him around, causing Matt to let out a little yelp of surprise. "Come crashing through your door!" Once Matt was safely on the ground, he playfully shoved Tai away. Tai simply pulled Matt closer to his body and held him there. The two boys stared at each other, feeling only their bodies pressed together and the blowing wind and cold rain. Tai smiled softly and brushed away some hair that had stuck onto Matt's face. The blonde blushed slightly at the gesture. Their faces were so close to one another.
"…Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore…" Tai gently sang to Matt. A strange courage fired up in Matt's body as he stared into Tai's caramel eyes. Before he could stop himself, Matt pressed his lips against Tai's.
The brunette froze slightly at the sudden touch, but to Matt's happiness, he soon relaxed and started kissing him back. Matt held Tai's face in his hands in order to deepen the kiss. In the meantime, Tai wrapped his arms around Matt's torso and pulled him in closer to him. Soon, Matt pulled out of the kiss to catch his breath. He hadn't realized that while they were kissing, he had been holding his breath. Sapphire blue stared into caramel brown, happily content for a moment. Matt had never kissed a boy before…Tai was his first. And he absolutely loved the way it felt and wanted more of it. He leaned forward to kiss Tai again, but Tai immediately jerked his head back.
"…n-no…" Tai muttered to himself. His once relaxed composure turned into a tense panic. "No!" Tai shoved Matt away from him and quickly walked away from him. "No, no, no!" Matt watched as panic soon turned into anger. Tai glared angrily at Matt. "Why the hell did you do that?"
"…what?" Matt asked. It was a stupid question, but his mind was still feeling slightly high from their kiss.
"You kissed me!" Tai spat. "Why the hell did you kiss me?"
"I…I don't know," Matt looked away slightly as he answered honestly. "I guess…I was just caught up in the moment." His once happy feelings were starting to crash and burn. He thought back to the whole sensation of his lips against Tai's mouth and how wonderful it felt when he responded to his touch. "Besides…you kissed me back."
"That's a stupid reason!" The brunette growled angrily.
"Well forgive me for trying to be romantic or whatever the hell that was!" Matt glared at the boy.
"Is that the same excuse you used when you kissed all those other hos?"
"That's a little uncalled for Tai! And I said they didn't mean anything!"
"So you're telling me that I just had my very first kiss with a guy who could honestly give a shit who he's making out with?"
"If you really think I'm that shallow, then yeah I guess so!" A crack of thunder echoed in the sky as the two teenagers glared at each other. Tai rubbed his face in frustration then stormed off. Matt watched as he disappeared out of sight then dropped his gaze to the ground.
Tai thought he was shallow? He must have since he didn't say anything. The blonde felt his bottom lip tremble slightly and quickly bit down on his lip. Convincing himself that it was because he was getting cold, he unwillingly followed the trail of the brunette, since the only mode of transportation was the silver Reno. Once he finally found the landmark of where the car was parked, and he hurried through the woods, he saw Tai already leaning against the car.
Anger quickly returned when the blonde saw the scowl on Tai's face. Matt quickly pulled out the keys and unlocked the car doors. The two boys hurried inside the shelter of the dry car. At that moment, Matt was grateful that the interior of his mother's car happened to be leather…
"Turn the heat on," Tai grumbled.
"You're cold?" Matt raised an eyebrow at him. Tai was turned away from the blonde and had his arms folded across his chest.
"Turn on the damn car," Tai growled. Despite his urge to kick the brunette out of the car, Matt turned the car on and turned the heat notch to the lowest level. "Thanks."
"Whatever," Matt rolled his eyes and started driving.
oXoXoXoXo
"So you kissed him…and he called you shallow?" T.K.'s tone sounded concern over the other end of the telephone.
"Yeah, can you believe it?" Matt grumbled and started playing with the twisted telephone cord. After the blonde had returned from dropping off the other boy home, he called his younger brother to vent out his frustration. "He's such an ungrateful little prick! I'm helping him do his stupid list and he snaps at me like…I don't even know what!"
"That sounds kind of unlike Tai," T.K. said. "There's gotta be a reason for his sudden anger…"
"Who cares," Matt huffed. "If he wants to act like a freaking baby over this, then he can go right ahead and do it on his own." There was silence over the other end for a long while.
"Matt," T.K. finally said. "I know you're really upset with what Tai said about you. But I also know that you really care about him." Matt frowned at his feelings for Tai. "Like…a lot."
"…yeah, I guess," Matt sighed softly. "I just can't believe he thinks I'm shallow…It really hurt."
"You probably just scared him or something," T.K. offered. "Maybe he was expecting his first kiss to be with another girl who hadn't kissed anyone yet either."
"…maybe…" the elder blonde muttered. As much as he hated the idea…his younger brother was probably right. Even if Tai was acting flirtatious with him, and he was being really touchy, it didn't mean that he felt anything for the blonde besides friendship. Over and over again, Matt had to remind himself that he was Tai's "best friend" and that was all.
"I can talk to Kari if you want," T.K. spoke up. "You know, see what Tai says and maybe try to—" The phone started making a beeping noise in Matt's ear, signifying that there was another caller.
"Hang on T.K.," Matt said. "There's another call trying to come in."
"Who is it?" the younger blonde asked.
"I don't know, we don't have caller ID remember?"
"Oh right! You and Dad still have the ghetto phones. You should try to convince Dad to buy new ones."
"Believe me, I've tried." The two brothers let out a small laugh at their father's stubborn attitude when it came to technology upgrades. "I'll just see who it is ok?"
"I think Mom is home now, so we'll probably go have dinner now. Call me later if you still want to talk."
"Alright T.K. Have a good dinner."
"Thanks Matt, bye." Matt heard his brother hang up the phone and then pushed the button to accept the incoming call.
"Hello?" Matt said.
"Oh…hey Matt…" the caller greeted. Matt's heart lurched forward once he recognized the voice.
"Hey…Tai…" Matt murmured nervously. "What's up?"
"Nothing much…just…calling…"
"Oh…" They stayed quiet for the longest time. Matt tapped nervously on the phone cord, waiting to see what the other boy had to say.
"…I don't think you're shallow Matt," Tai finally muttered.
"Thanks," Matt smiled slightly. "And…I don't think you're a heartless bastard either."
"…you never called me a heartless bastard," Tai's tone sounded confused.
"Oh…I was probably just thinking it then." The two boys let out a small laugh before their call became serious again. "Tai, I'm sorry for kissing you. It was stupid of me and you have every right to get angry. I shouldn't have just acted out, but I guess that's what I get for being such a lip whore and—"
"Matt, slow down!" Tai chuckled slightly. "Man, you sure have quite the motor mouth."
"I'm sorry Tai," Matt repeated. "I don't want our friendship to end because of me being stupid."
"…I'm sorry too Matt," Tai said. "I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I was just kind of caught off guard and didn't know how to react."
"You reacted like any other straight guy would when his best friend suddenly kissed him," Matt let out a small laugh. Tai didn't laugh this time however.
"Did you mean what you said?" Tai asked.
"Huh?" Matt questioned.
"You said…you said that none of the kisses you've had before meant anything to you. Did you mean it?"
"Yes," Matt didn't miss a beat to answer.
"Did…our kiss mean anything?" Matt smiled, remembering the happy sensation he felt while kissing the brunette. He opened his mouth to say "yes" but nothing came out. Puzzled, he tried again. Nothing. "Oh…y-yeah, me neither then."
"Tai," Matt managed to finally say. He could say his name, but why couldn't he say how he enjoyed their kiss?
"No, don't sweat it Matt," Tai tried to laugh off the question. The blonde could hear the hurt in his tone however. "I was just wondering. Hell this makes things a lot easier now."
"What do you mean?" Matt asked.
"Well…i-if the kiss meant nothing to you…then we won't have this crazy problem of you falling in love with me and me falling in love with you, and then you having to end up having a broken heart because the treatments didn't work and I end up—"
"Don't!" Matt cut off. "Don't…say it…" Matt's mind drifted back to the moment when Tai left and he was standing alone in the rain. Was it going to be like that once Tai was gone for good?
"Anyways," Tai muttered. "I guess we just saved ourselves a whole bunch of drama right there, huh? If that kiss meant nothing to you, then we can just go back to being friends and finish off the list…that is…if you still want to."
"I'd like that," Matt smiled slightly.
"Ok, awesome," Tai sighed happily. "Well, I guess I should hop off now. My dad needs it for work and I was probably interrupting you anyways."
"Oh yes," Matt rolled his eyes. "Doing absolutely nothing is so important to me than talking with you." Tai chuckled. The blonde smiled too, and then frowned when he realized something. "Tai?"
"Yeah Matt?"
"You kept saying that it was ok if the kiss meant nothing to me…" Even though it sure as hell did.
"Right."
"But…did it mean anything to you?" Silence.
"…y-yeah…" Matt's heart broke a little at the hidden pain in Tai's voice. "…maybe a little…" His voice faded into a soft whimper and it only tore Matt's heart even worse.
"…Tai…" Matt muttered.
'Why the hell can't I say it?'
"I'm sorry…" Tai whimpered.
'Is it because I'm scared that I'm going to lose you?'
"I'm an idiot…"
'Or because I know that saying that I love you won't be enough to keep you with me forever?'
"…Tai…"
"…I'm sorry..." And with that last choking sob, Tai hung up the phone.
I'm so evil...but I love the ending of this chapter. X3
I'll confess...the little musical thing was a shout out to and his awesome story "A Taito Musical." He's probably not going to read this story because of all the angst...but he still inspires me none the less. :)
And shoot, while I'm at it, I'm just going to make a quick shout out to some other awesome authors: southampton, AnotherStar, Kerukeru and AmiraStarr. Most of them are working on some pretty kick ass stories, so check their stuff if you get the chance!
Oh...and I guess I failed to mention that there are only going to be two more chapters in this story before it's over...pretty short I know. ^_^;