Why Do I Do This?

by hayley.moses

Welcome to Hetalia Academy! You, Alfred Jones, are in love with the Student Council president. While trying to win over his affections, you are also working with your brother to hide what you've done to yourself from the world.

4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

A/N: Sorry for the super slow update! It was really awkward to have to type this up on the home computer that's in the living room where everyone can see what I'm doing, but yeah, things go from fluffy to dirty to fluffy and then well, any ways, happy reading whatever whatever I really don't want to go through the awkward process of revising this so just PM me if you find any mistakes guys~

Also! Thanks for the really awesome reviews guys~

oOo

I wasn't particularly too prepared when Arthur kissed me.

I mean, it's nice and he's a better kisser than I had ever imagined he would be. Gently biting my lip and holding my face in his hands-which are ridiculously soft thank you very much. I could get lost in these kisses forever.

Ugh, why hadn't I just done this before? Skip all the waiting and just jump him and get it over with. I mean, this is just so wonderful, pushed up against the wall, and I've just... I've never been wanted in this kind of way before. It's brilliant, absolutely brilliant. I would give up everything if I could do this everyday for the rest of my life. Hurting myself, all those years I wasted pretending to be happy when I had been hurting on the inside, fuck, I would stay in England if I had to.

I think I understand what they mean, all the fireworks and shit going on inside your head while kissing the person that you love.

"Mmmph!" It's really quite startling to find yourself being pushed down onto your bed, followed by about one hundred-sixty some pounds. The kissing stops and a small muffled voice mumbles,

"You said it was time for bed, yes?"

"Well... Yeah." I already knew that Arthur can be particularly hot/cold sometimes, but this is really quite confusing.

"Ooh~ how nice and fit you are!"

Drunk Arthur is fairly silly, and undressing me. Again. But... this is quite ni-

"What does this do?" His fingers are gently poking at my cowlick, moving towards pulling.

"Please don't pull on tha-dammit..." I'm not entirely too sure why but, as Mattie and I discovered a couple years ago, pulling on our cowlicks feels nice. I remember the day we found that out really well, we were about seven or so..

"What exactly do these stupid pieces of hair do anyways?"

"I don't know. Hey! Alfred I know! You like science right?"

I turn to Mattie and sigh, "You know very well that I do."

"Then let's perform an experiment! You'll pull on mine, and I'll pull on yours at the same time!" It sounded fairly reasonable, so why not? "Alright, well, grab a hold then." We carefully clutched each other's little piece of hair that stuck up, Mattie's was longer and more curly than mine, falling forward from his face, while mine stood straight up and curled towards the back of my head.

"One... two... three... Pull!" We look at each other and a weird shiver runs from the top of my head to my tummy. It felt kind of... nice.

"That... That felt n-nice." We said in unison, quickly turning away from the other trying to hide our red faces.

I never thought that one small piece of hair would end up being the deciding factor as to what my actions would be. It still feels incredibly nice and he won't let go tugging softly every couple of seconds, I mean really, that's not very nice. The tugging and kissing stops, several slim fingers delicately touching my wrist. The one with the marks. Fuck now he knows.

Before I can pull away, Arthur's pulled my arm up closer to his face, so he can see it better, a funny confused type of look crosses his face, and it's seriously startling when he begins kissing all of the scarred up and marred places. Whispering, "It's alright. You'll be alright."

"How do you know?"

"I know, because I love you."

Oh. Ahem.

"I... I-"

"Shut up and kiss me already." Alrighty then. I pull him down by the collar to start one of those marvelous kisses again. Clothes seem to be out this season because it doesn't seem to take too long for me to have lost my t-shirt and pajama pants, and he his button-up, tie, and slacks. I wonder... is that all he owns? Really nice clothes? Wouldn't surprise me. He seems the gentlemanly-

"Hey!"

"What? I was just... Trying to make you happy." Okay, maybe... Maybe this has gone far enough I mean, he's drunk and I don't...

"I know. Look this is nice and all," more kissing, around my neck this time which is super sensitive apparently just holy fuck. "But, I don't want to take advantage of you."

"Why?" he sounds kind of... hurt. Well son of a bitch.

"You're drunk, and I don't want to take advantage of you just because you won't remember in the morning."

"I'll remember..." he nuzzles my neck, getting as close to me as he can, which is a lot closer than you would think. "I always remember, and never forget."

"Oh. Green light says go you know."

oOo

"Did you sleep well?" I look up at Mattie, who's obviously quite interested in how my evening went, but also has a frog (Francis) hanging around his neck.

"Ugh, no. I hurt all over."

"Did something happen?"

"Nothing happened Matt."

"No, something obviously happened you little fucking liar." Now, it's particularly rare for Mattie swear, and most of the time he only does it because he knows I'm hiding something from him and is very determined to find out what it is. Like now, but to be honest I would rather not have him know the intricate details of my sex life because seriously, that's really gross and no one but me (and Arthur by default) needs to know about it. I look down at my third or fourth cup of coffee, doing my best to avoid the vicious glare Matt's sending my way, and trying to ignore the look Francis has that keeps saying: Ahaha I know what you did. I mean, can he go away?

...

Actually, I'm kind of dying to tell someone about how excellent and awesome it was, someone-anyone-other than Francis.

"Mathieu mon amour, il ne vous dira rien, mais il ne doit pas, parce que je sais ce qui s'est passé." Stupid frog! It's all gibberish! Gibberish just gibberish. The frog keeps looking from me to Matt, and back to me again. What in hell is he saying? Matt's obviously become more interested in what Francis is saying and for FUCK'S SAKE if it wasn't so ridiculously awesome I would never have sex ever again.

"Vraiment? Eh bien, passer à autre chose! Qu'est-il arrivé? At-il quelque chose à voir avec Arthur?" I hate French. I hate it I hate it I hate it. They're talking about Arthur, so... that must mean... They are also talking about me well fucking fuck. Having a brother who's French-Canadian really sucks, well, he was right about putting maple syrup in coffee though. That is pretty good.

They are looking at me. And back to each other.

"Ne pourriez-vous dire? Votre cher frère est vierge rien de plus." I don't know what Francis said to make Mattie stare at me but,

"WILL YOU PLEASE STOP THAT I AM SO LOST YOU HAVE NO IDEA SPEAK YOUR FRENCH IN THE BEDROOM FOR FUCK'S SAKE! Graah!"

I am so ready to just... Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck! My back really hurts, and then there's this French business. This has just been a really agitating morning for me, okay? Not to mention, the student council meeting starts in a little bit, and Arthur is still sleeping-naked-in my room, which, how in hell do I explain to everyone that the Student Council president got drunk, I found him, took him back to my room, wound up losing my virginity, and that he's probably nursing a hangover in my bedroom?

...Just like that actually. What if I just lie and say he's sick? That will probably sound a lot better than what actually happened.

"Alfred?"

"Yes Matt?"

"Are you okay? You're looking kind of... really red right now."

"Yup! Totally okay! Peachy!" Perfectly fine, definitely not thinking about last night and where exactly Arthur had touched me, and how he had touched me and all the wonderful things that went along with that. They're staring at me with this knowing look and if we weren't in the cafeteria I would have lost it and started yelling.

"Hello, have you seen Mr. Kirkland?" A strong hand lands on my shoulder. What? I look up into the childish face of Ivan Braginsky, which scares the fuck out of me, I mean, his face is childish in a really creepy way. Sometimes, he just comes out of no where scaring the shit out of you, laughing a little bit while watching you yelp and fall out of the chair you're sitting in. I look over and Mattie has the look he gets when he's getting ready to make up an excuse and get the fuck out of somewhere.

"Ahem, perhaps you did not hear me, nyet?"

"O-oh. Uhm, what w-was your question again?" Go away go away go away go away!

"Ah, I was wondering if you have seen Mr. Kirkland?"

"N-no, sorry. I haven't seen him since Friday morning, you could try the Student Council room though." Oh my God, oh my GOD could this morning get any more stressful?

"Da, I will try there, perhaps I will have better luck. Good bye Mr. Jones, and to you too Mr. Williams." Mattie whimpers, looking like a deer caught in the headlights of a semi-truck carrying a bed full of rabbits on crack. Which, thinking about it, would be really quite intimidating. Especially if you weren't expecting it, like BAM! there's this big truck full of rabbits on crack. The innocent looking ones you know? Just like: whoa dude. Lemme hook you up with a good dealer.

I think, I think this is how it's so obvious that I'm from the States. Some big scary Russian guy is pretty much molesting my shoulder with his hand, staring down Francis, and I'm just chillin' here thinking about hooking up rabbits with good crack dealers.

"Francis."

"Ivan."

"So, you're not hanging out with your, Bad Touch Trio friends anymore?"

"No, I'm afraid not. I don't do that anymore."

"Oh really?"

So, you see, the temperature went from really nice and comfortable to that kind of freezing that indicates a fight is coming on. I look over at Mattie, who's staring up at Francis with these big doe eyes all like: Hello, pay attention to me. What's going on? But, is being ignored. This happens a lot more than I'm willing to admit. It's really awkwardly silent, in a bad way. You know what I mean, that kind of silence that you see on the outdoor channels right before they shoot and get the animal they went out hunting for. I've never been in this situation before, and I would rather never be in it ever again. I think it's my turn to try to leave now...

"O-kay! I just remembered that Mattie and I have something really super important that we need to do right now, so we're going to go and see you lay-ter, okay? Okay, good bye now! We will meet again sometime soon I hope."

oOo

"What the hell just happened? What's this 'Bad Touch Trio' thing about? What did the scary Russian guy want with Arthur? What's going on? Alfred. Alfred I'm really freaking out right now."

"I can tell." Mmm munchins and crunchins. (Chips, and I mean like, potato chips. Not this french fries business. Why do they call chips crisps anyways? Stupid.)

"Why are you so calm about this!? It's perfectly okay to freak out, I mean, it looked like he wanted to eat me! Eat me Alfred! Like I was some sort of animal or something!"

"Mhm." I stopped paying full attention a few minutes ago, Mattie's in one of those moods where you don't even need a real conversation, just someone to stand there listening-or in my case eating and only sort of paying attention. It never ceases to amaze me at how ugly the boys' dormitory is. It's all this gross tan color, it looks like someone ate something really strange then threw up all over the walls, ceiling and carpet. Disgusting.

"Alfred?" I hum in response, mouth full of the tasty salt and vinegar chips they have here. It burns my tongue sometimes, but is so totally worth it. "Where is Arthur anyways?" I sigh, is this my new thing or something? I swear, it's like I'm dissatisfied with everything. Which I'm not, life has totally picked up for me recently. (Last night.)

"My room."

"Why is Arthur Kirkland in your room?"

"He just is, I'll save you the details. It's a long story."

"What kind of story."

"A you-really-don't-want-to-know story."

"Alfred, say no more." We walk around the halls for a bit, kind of aimlessly. It takes us a few minutes but we've wound our way through the entire third floor of the boys' dorm twice, and have arrived at my door.

"Son of a bitch! Where am I?" Oh, he's awake. Matt turns to me, with this very concerned look on his face.

"I think that's your cue to go in and calm the beast." The door opens with a loud bang! dazing the two of us, and standing there looking back at us, is Arthur Kirkland standing in his underpants. Union Jack underpants. Mattie and I both dissolve into giggling fits, and I push Arthur back inside, forcing out in between giggles,

"Go collect your frog for school Matt, I'll see you in a bit."

"Later bro."

"Later."

I shut the door behind me, and he's just sort of standing there, in his underwear looking seriously pissed off. What did I do? He doesn't seem particularly too hung over to me, although my bed does have the appearance a bed gets when someone has fallen out of it.

"So, uhm, you're awake." Where exactly do I go from here? Kiss him? Hug him? Thank him? Well, thanking him would kind of be acting as though he was a hooker or something, which he is not. From what I remember, he does have the experience of one. Ah, that was a particularly good bit there, sort of slimy but still really really good. I have goosebumps everywhere just thinking about it. I didn't notice it last night, but Arthur is really quite pale, spectral almost. Freaky. Even with that pale spookiness he's very handsome. A little shorter than me, green eyes like precious gems, longs arms with small hands and slim fingers. Almost everything about him is small, and kind of fragile looking. I wish I could just hold him in my arms and protect him forever and ever and ever.

"What are you doing. Staring at me like that."

"Admiring you." I lock the door behind me and move towards the bed, where's he's standing.

"You're really quite handsome," I murmur, placing one hand on the side of his face, gingerly rubbing my thumb in circles across his cheek. "Don't tell me you're not. Here right now, looking at you, I have all the proof I need."

"And," he fidgets nervously, "What do you see?"

"I see... Pink cheeks, and long arms with small hands and slim fingers, a fair complexion, slender waist," my other hand-which was just sort of uselessly hanging there-wraps around his abdomen slowly. His skin, despite being so pale is incredibly soft, like the inside of a brand new sweatshirt. "I also see, eyes that are even more green than the most expensive of precious jewels, hair that's softer than silk to the touch, and my first love." Arthur blushes properly when I say that, and instead of pushing me away like I was expecting, wraps his arms tightly around my waist, nuzzling my neck.

"So you finally said it back."

I nod, sliding the tips of my fingers up and down his spine, which sticks out a little near the nape of his neck. We stand like this for a while, completely absorbed in the other's company. I honestly don't think I've ever had such a perfect hug in my entire seventeen years of existence.

"H-hey Alfred?"

"Yeah?"

"Isn't there a student council meeting today?"

I pull him in a little closer, and whisper, "Yeah, there is, but I would much rather spend my time here with you."

"Mm, me too. This is really quite nice... I wish we didn't have to go to school, I'd rather have a repeat of last night."

I smile into the top of his head, "So you do remember."

"How could I forget? It was just... mind-blowingly brilliant." He fidgets a bit, before he cheeks heat up and mutters, "Would you... Would you... Like to do it again... Right now?" his voice is all quiet and small, as though he's unsure of himself. "I mean... We have the time to."

I stop everything I'm doing to pull out of the warm, glorious hug so I can put my hands on his shoulders and look him in the eye.

"Do you mean it? Absolutely truly mean it?" He plays with his hands nervously.

"W-well, I, er, yes." After that, I waste absolutely no time abandoning my clothes and pulling him onto my bed, shoving those pesky blankets out of the way. Arthur is pretty dominant in bed, leaning over me while kissing all over my neck, mouth, chest and then leading down to my groin, reaching one hand up to pull on the weird cow lick thing. He seems to really enjoy teasing me, sticking one finger in his mouth, afterwards slowly-oh so fucking slowly-sliding it up and down my (already but, it's been that way for a while now) rock hard cock, giggling at me trying to stifle a little moan that comes when finger is quickly followed by tongue. The more he plays the harder it is for me to keep quiet. And I can guarantee you that these walls are not soundproof.

It feels like a dream almost when he finally puts it in his mouth, alternating between sucking and giggling at my pathetic attempts to keep from making noise.

"A-Arthur.. Please... I-hnng.." Why is he so goddamn good at this? Frustrating but it feels so so fantastic just... fuck. It doesn't take too long for him to pull my right leg over his hip and begin the careful process of making lube appear out of nowhere, rubbing it up and down himself and then finally lining everything up perfectly.

It honestly takes everything i have to not cry out when his hips meet mine. Over and over a gentle rocking motion that gradually gets harder and harder until Arthur's mouth is at my neck again, biting me, which feels super fantastic just holy shit, the two of us both desperately trying to keep from making noise (I mean it when I say these walls are not soundproof, I have heard the most disgusting sounds from the room next to mine you have no idea) as everything starts to pick up towards it's peak, and I'm really not too sure how we haven't broken the bed yet, I mean really.

This is really just cracktastic, over and over again hitting this funny tickly place spot on. I swear if this goes on much longer I'm going to scream, it's just so... I don't even have the words to describe how good this feels. The brilliant sensation of the two of us climaxing simultaneously, then Arthur's elbows buckling and him falling down on top of me. I'm probably going to have to wash my bed sheets later today, but right now all I want to do is lay here, like this, forever.

"Please tell me that we can lay here and never get up."

Arthur kisses my cheek sweetly, murmuring softly, "I wish I could love."

We kind of just cuddle after that, neither of us asking what time it is, or moving to get up and begin the process of getting ready for school. A good ten minutes or so pass by of quiet, content cuddling then,

Bang! Bang! Bang!

"Alfred, we know you are in here!" Arthur jumps so high he almost rolls off of me and crashes out of bed, while I jump and hit my head against the wall swearing loudly.

"Ve~ Alllfred," Is that...? "You missed the meeting Alfred, you and Mister President both!"

Arthur scrambles off the bed the second the banging starts up again, hastily throwing his clothes on, with me following suit.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" I'm trying to be as quiet as possible, I look over and Arthur motions from me to the door, silently telling me to make up an excuse as to why I haven't opened the door.

"Hey! Ah ha ha, I'm sort of really busy at the moment, could you come back in ten minutes or so?" I mean, I know Ludwig's very serious about this student council business and this has happened once before (I had been woken up at three in the morning by Mattie calling me from the bathroom whining at me saying something about having had thrown up, and didn't get to sleep at all). I can hear some grunting and an Italian sounding voice say, "Okay!~ Ve~" Footsteps sound away from the door , and I start to relax, that was so so incredibly close. The side of my sleeve is pulled , with a shy voice saying quietly, "I think I picked up one of your shirts..."

I look over from the door to find Arthur in a shirt that's obviously way too big for him, fingers holding up the sleeves, and one shoulder having had slid down to reveal the pale skin beneath.

"You're really fucking cute, did you know that?" He blushes some, and I know for a fact that today is going to be a good day.

oOo

The next time I see you, we shall get down to business with Francis and the Bad Touch Trio, which will be interesting, and meet Lovino and all those guys. Fun stuff. I'm getting my own personal laptop soon which will make the updates faster and more well written and all the good stuff!

A/N 9/14/13: Jesus, I went to revise some things and I'm just.. Ugh. I have a million apologies right now .. For new readers, it gets better I swear.