When I get to the house, T'Pol is nowhere in sight. I figure that she clearly didn't come back here after leaving the cemetery. Where the hell is she? I don't get the answer to that question until an hour later.
When she arrives at the house, she tries to walk right by where I'm sitting on the couch, without saying a word. Instead of just letting her by, I ask, "Where did you go?"
"I had to make an appointment," she says.
"An appointment for what?" I try to ask, without sounding too nosy.
"To see an Elder at the monastery, on the outskirts of the Provence," she says as monotone as her previous statement.
An Elder? Why does T'Pol need to see an Elder? In attempt to end my curiosity, I ask, "Why do you want to see an Elder?"
T'Pol doesn't answer, instead she just stands there. So I try again, "T'Pol?"
"I need to," she answers, simply. She couldn't have given a more vague response.
One more try, to hell with hiding curiosity, "Why?"
"I need to," she repeats, so I drop it. I'm clearly not going to get an answer out of her.
"Okay," I say. T'Pol heads straight to her room and I go into the kitchen. Having lived in T'Pol's house for about a week and a half, tea grew on me. It's become a habit to make tea when something's frustrating me. While waiting for the water to get hot, I sit up on the island. Waiting for water to boil isn't very interesting, but it's not like I have anything better to do.
After a few minutes, I hear a noise from behind me and when I look, T'Pol is standing on the other side of the island. Scares me so much, I fall off the island. Luckily, I catch my balance before I completely hit the floor.
"You keep scaring the hell out of me," I say, while I try to get my heart beat back to normal.
"I apologize," she replies. "I didn't mean to frighten you."
T'Pol has always been fond of standing in front of people and just staring, without saying a word. As frustrating as that is, I have to admit, I think it's adorable that she does that, because she doesn't mean to be awkward or strange. It's just how she is.
"What's up?" I ask, not knowing what else to say.
"I need to talk to you," she says, as she comes around the island to where I am.
"All right," I reply. I then sit on the kitchen floor.
T'Pol, in her Vulcan way, looks at me like I'm crazy. She asks, "Why are you sitting on the floor?"
"I'm tired and too lazy walk across the room to get to the couch," I state, getting comfortable in my spot on the floor.
For a second, T'Pol looks like she's debating whether to join me, but then she sits down in front of me, crossing her legs like I did. It's a little amusing to see her like this.
"Back at the cemetery, you were right... about everything," she began. "Jonathan said something to me once, that when you don't have the ability to repress emotions, you learn to deal with them and move on.'"
Jonathan? As in Jonathan Archer? I've never heard her address him by his first name before. It's a little strange. When did he talk to her about emotions? Why did he talk to her about emotions? More importantly, why is she bringing this up now?
"A little after the first year of Enterprise's launch, I was given a mission from the Vulcan High Command. The mission was to go the planet, Agron, and detain a man named Menos. He and I had a past so the Vulcan High Command decided that it should be me who arrested him. I wanted someone whom I trusted to come with me, so I asked Captain Archer."
"Go on," I try to be supportive of her opening up.
"We did detain him," she continued. "But while we were on Agron, I regained memories of a time I had forgotten, a time that I didn't want to remember." She hesitates, but keeps going. "It turned out that years ago, when I first encountered Menos, in order to remain in emotional control, I underwent a Vulcan discipline called Fullara. Its purpose is to repress the memory of an event along with the emotions associated with it. I was in a state, not unlike how I became when we encountered the Seleya. I was extremely emotional, so much that I could hardly function."
As much as I like that she's opening up to me, I don't understand why she's telling me this story. What does this story have to do with what's happening now? Unless... no. She wouldn't, would she? "Why are you telling me this? Are you considering..."
"Archer told me that those who cannot repress what they feel need to work through it," she repeated, once again, what Archer had told her. "I have a decision to make. I seem to be unable to control my emotions. You told me that if I keep everything bottled up without working through it, it will destroy me." I try to cut in, but she continues, "The appointment I made today was to undergo Fullara again... but I have not yet decided if I should go through with it."
I can't remember anything I wanted to say and I just sit there, looking at her. I guess she can tell that I don't know what to do, so she says, "Our daughter is dead."
"I know," I say, looking at the cabinet about her head. I don't want to look at her.
Apparently T'Pol doesn't notice or care because I hear her speak, "Trip." But I still won't look at her. She calls my name once more and when I don't reply, she then does the unexpected. With her right hand, turns my face towards her. "She's gone and no matter how hard I try to remain in control, it doesn't seem to be working. And now..." He voice breaks for a second. "I don't know what to do."
"It's your choice, T'Pol." I sadly say. "I cannot tell you what to decide. If you think that you need to go through that whole memory wipe thing, then it's up to you."
What I said was clearly not helpful in the slightest, but I don't know what else to say. What the hell should anyone do in a situation like this? This is an impossible circumstance. I can't force her to stay here with me and try to work things out. All I have left to say is, "I may feel like hell right now and I may feel like I want to die of sadness, but no matter what, I wouldn't want to forget Elizabeth."
I pull T'Pol's head close to mine and kiss her forehead. "It's your choice." It takes all that I have in me, but I get up off the floor and walk to my room, leaving her on the kitchen floor alone.
Author's Note: Okay, I don't know what it is about this chapter, but it was hard to write. It took forever to get this out. I didn't know how the characters would react to different things, and it was all just really hard to write. I don't know if it's perfect yet, but it was frustrating me too much to deal with it anymore. If any of you have suggestions, leave it in the reviews and I'll keep everything in mind as I continue!