Hey everyone! This chapter is really dark. To keep myself in the mood I listened to Roxas' Theme over and over again. I really suggest you do so for this chapter. It really sets the mood. This chapter just seems better with this music playing. Enjoy.

watch?v=QFxgcdlSUwg

Chapter 4: Sora

I winced as I rolled onto my side in bed. My wrist, although wrapped still hurt like a bitch. I could see some dark red where the cut had continued bleeding through the bandage. I forgot what this pain was like. I moved my eyes to the clock as I pulled my comforter up to my nose. It was 4:30 am. Looks like I wasn't going to be sleeping tonight. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get that night out of my head.

I sat on my bathroom floor; knife in hand, cell phone thrown to the side on the bathroom carpet. "I can't take this anymore!" I screamed. "What does this world fucking want from me? I've tried everything! "I could hear the rain begin to pour as a thunder clap sounded.

I glanced out the window, the sky blocked out from the rain falling, unable to stop. I looked at my cell phone it was a text from my mom. Still holding the knife in my hand I opened my phone to just delete the message. She was probably just going to yell at me about something I didn't or forgot to do. It doesn't matter anymore. Tonight, I'll be gone from their lives forever.

I stared out the window again and realized I was a lot like the falling rain. Unable to stop. Unable to keep itself from the inevitable fall of meeting with the ground, only to be absorbed and eaten by the Earth. That's how I was going to be. For years, I've been plummeting downward to the inevitable fate… my death. I wiped my face as tears began to fall. Dammit. Did I really believe I was supposed to die?

Of course I was. I ran my fingers along the blade. My parents treated me as if I never existed; only calling upon me to run errands or do something they forgot. Nothing I ever did was good enough. They were only ever focused on Sora, the older, perfect brother. Sora. He had a family now. Riku, Xion. I didn't fit into the picture anymore. I'm just the annoying little brother he had to look over because I'm too pathetic to care for myself. Sora. I couldn't remove the thought of Sora from my mind.

I glanced back down at my now open cell phone. The background. It was a photo of Sora and I on a vacation we took with Riku before they got married. He'd paid for everything. Sora said he'd wanted to have some fun before he became busy with his new life. He'd be moving out of the house and into the place Riku had bought for them.

My tears were uncontrollable. I threw my phone against the wall and heard the screen shatter. "Dammit!" "Dammit, Dammit, Dammit," I slid forward and grabbed the still barely usable phone to call my big brother one last time. "Sora."

"Roxas! Hey! What's up little bro'?"

I didn't say anything.

"Roxas…" He sounded worried. I heard Riku ask if everything was alright in the background. Of course, he was with Riku.

"Sora."

"Roxas? What's wrong?"

"Sora… I… I can't do this anymore. It hurts to be here. To be alive."

"Rox. Don't say that. You have people who care about you. Me. Riku. And Xion."

"The world. It doesn't matter." I was blinded by my depression. It was different. Even if I denied it later. Sora knew.

He heard the knife drop. "Roxas, don't you hurt yourself. I'll be there soon. Riku speed up."

I sobbed.

"Sora. I'm sorry." I hung up the phone.

And that was the last time I heard my brothers voice. I stared at the knife on the ground between my knees and saw my reflection in the blade. This was for the best. No one would miss me. I was silent for a few minutes listening to the rain. I needed to calm myself enough to do this.

My phone rang.

For some reason, the eerie silence that occurred caused me to answer the unknown number.

"Hello?"

"Is this Mr. Roxas Strife?"

"Yes."

"I have some bad news, sir. It's about your brother. There was an accident."

My heart sank. No.

"…"

"Mr. Riku and Sora Hikari were in a fatal car accident. I'm sorry to tell you your brother is dead sir."

"…"

I was speechless. This wasn't supposed to happen. I blacked out.

I woke up screaming.

"Uncle Roxas, are you okay?" It was Xion. I hadn't realized I'd fallen asleep.

"Yeah. Just a nightmare." I smiled. It was fake. Though Xion could never tell.

"Go back to bed. I'm fine."

"I'll stay here with you Uncle Roxas. Just like you did for me when I had those dreams."

She snuggled up next to me. Maybe Xion was more observant than I gave her credit for. How could she possible know what I dreamt about? Maybe because just up until a few months ago she was having them. I pulled Xion to my chest and cried. My brother wasn't supposed to die. He was supposed to be happy with his lover, and his daughter, and that now because of me, I was raising.

I saw my phone light up on my bedside table. It was from Axel.

"I just had a weird feeling you aren't feeling to great right now. Keep your chin up Roxy. See you tomorrow."

Roxy? I turned to my screen. That same picture of Sora and I all those years ago. It was the same picture that I had on my nightstand. It was really the only reminder that Sora ever existed.

I sold everything that he and Riku had. I had no choice. Together they had more assets than I could ever afford to keep. I sold the house for a couple hundred thousand, which I put all in a fund for Xion's education like it stated in the Will, when child services gave her to me. I kept Sora's car. It was the only one paid off, and I needed transportation. The only other thing I kept was that photograph and a trunk that was locked up in the attic. I can't bring myself to open it. It was a box with Sora and Riku's most prized possessions. I can't infringe on their privacy, but most of all, I can't bear to relive those memories again. Sora left everything to me in his will. I still had it. It was in a lockbox under my bed. I remember everything on it.

As I dozed off I remember one thing on the will that I didn't understand. It simply said.

When you're ready.