A/N: Well, I appreciate any reviews in which I get. I hope I get many. Please review.

Rating: PG (for mild language)

"So lay down

The threat is real

When his sight goes red again

Seeing red again

Seeing red again

They say freak, when you're singled out

The Red, it filters through"

-The Red by Chevelle-

Sawyer's POV

He saw her fall. She fell down to the ground. Right now he wanted to kill everyone. No one knew how much he cared about her, how much he loved her. The blood spilled everywhere around her, staining the wet green grass. Sawyer wanted to kill Jack, wanted to kill the bastard that shot Kate and him. But he also wanted to scream and punch and kick everyone of them. He mouthed her name as he saw her eyes close and her body go limp.

"Do you understand now?" asked the man that killed Kate. Her body was at his feet. "Yes," mumbled Jack from his side. Sawyer didn't notice what happened next but he moved toward Kate to look at her red face. The fresh blood got onto his hands and shirt as he hugged her. Her once blue shirt was now almost completely black with blood.

He picked her up and when passing Jack, gave him a look of hate.

After the trip back everyone, well mostly Claire and Sun, was asking what happened to Kate. He just stared out into the distance, ignoring all the questions coming his way.

The days passed by slowly, seeming like an eternity from dawn to sunset. And he couldn't stand that feeling. And even in bed, getting to sleep took forever. No matter what he thought of, everything went back to Kate. Rock climbing, hunting, love. Everything, especially love went back to Kate.

No one had known how much he loved her, except Jack. And Jack took it for granted. He loved her too. But he never said anything about it. Sure he flirted a bit, but soon enough that was gone, and Sawyer became the one who flirted in his rude ways.

But he couldn't get the feeling out of his head. The feeling that he could have saved her, could have died for her. But he knew it wasn't true. He couldn't have saved her. Even if she was alive right now, she would still be in Jack's care. And most likely she'd either go into a coma or die just the same.

But he didn't cry. He didn't want to lose his cool in front of everyone.

Then her funeral came. Claire was the first to speak. She gave a wonderful speech. But the one that really got him, was surprisingly Jack's.

"I… I wouldn't have learned to let go, if she hadn't come here. I wouldn't have been comforted if she hadn't been here," Was what Jack said while staring at the ground. "I wouldn't have been able to… to live, if it weren't for her. She was so kind underneath the skin of someone tough. And she was so caring, underneath the costume of someone selfish. She helped me to learn to know when to give up and to keep on going. And if it weren't for her, I wouldn't be here right now." Jack grabbed a handful of sand and dropped it on her. "May she rest in peace," was the last thing Jack said all day. Except to Ana.

Sawyer sat in Kate's tent most of the day. Just sitting. Not doing much of anything else. He listened to the waves crash onto the shore, and listened to Jack and Ana's conversation just outside her tent.

"Hey," said Ana's voice. "Hey," said the voice of Jack. Sawyer could see their shadows through the tent wall. "You know, it wasn't your fault," said Ana. "Yes it was," said Jack. The movement Jack made was to look at Ana. "He gave me a chance to save her. All I had to do was give up on finding Michael. I just didn't hear it until it was too late," he said. "It was my fault, my mistake, and I can't fix it," he said.

"When I was a cop, there was a little boy, about eight or nine, that was back mouthing the cops. I told them to back down so I could talk to the kid but they didn't listen to him. Next thing I saw was a kid laying there, blood surrounding him on the side walk. You see, the kid had murdered his big brother, who had told him to kill him supposedly. So the cops came and were going to take him too juvenile, but he got killed instead. But see the things is, I blamed myself for MONTHS saying that I was the one that killed him. But the fact was, I didn't even touch him," she said.

Then all was silent. He decided that this conversation was over. After all, it wouldn't have helped Jack one bit, seeing a little boy dead on the sidewalk in his mind.

But just listening to that made his mind jump from here to there. He wanted to know what she meant.

Sawyer got up and moved out of the tent. "What do you mean?" he asked Ana. Ana looked up at him, looking confused. "What?" she asked. "What do you mean? Why'd you tell doc that story?" he asked. "To make him realize that if he doesn't stop blaming himself now, he might not ever stop," said Ana. "Well, I have to go," she said getting up and walking away.

Sawyer just went the other way, not caring about anything else. In his hand was something of Kate's. Claire and Sun were putting flowers on her grave. They were all different colors. Red, pink, yellow. All some of Kate's favorite colors. He sat next to them and put the item in front of the flowers and got up.

Sun and Claire looked down.

It was a little toy airplane.

A/N: Okay. Sorry that they all are so short, it's just that I'm trying to save some stuff for the next chapters, ect. Now I'm ALSO sorry if everything isn't exactly up to date. Well please review and the next chapter will be up soon! Kate