Chapter Four

"There has to be a way to get him back!" Raven cries for the tenth time, staring at Clarke's pacing form.

Her words go ignored. Clarke is wrapped up in her despairing head, trying and failing to think of some way to save Finn. Why, why would he give himself up so easily? He should've fought for his life! Fought to stay with her…

But deep down Clarke understands why. No matter what person Finn turned into at that village, his heart is kind and gentle. He wouldn't risk the lives of everyone at the Ark, when only his life needed to be taken. The thought brings tears to Clarke's eyes.

"Why are you crying?" demands Raven, fighting back her own emotions as she stares angrily at Clarke, arms folded tightly across her chest. "We need to come up with a plan! Come on, Clarke, snap out of it!"

"Hey!"

Bellamy comes running into the tent, breathing heavily. "You guys need to come out here. Now!"

Clarke and Raven follow closely behind Bellamy out of the tent and towards the front gate. Every single person from the Ark is out here, watching the camp opposite them with fearful eyes. Even in the darkness of night, the army of grounders is easily distinguishable in the distance. Fires have been lit all up and down the field, illuminating a ten-foot thick wooden pole right across from where the sky people stand.

"What is that?" Raven whispers, staring as grounders work on the pole, tying something around it.

Clarke swallows with difficulty. "They're getting it ready for Finn. We're meant to watch everything that happens to him."

"We're going to get him back," Bellamy says in a hard, determined voice. "We find a way to get close enough, and then hit them with everything we have!"

"Bellamy…" says Kane, old chancellor of the Ark, " there are a couple hundred of us, and thousands of them. Even if we could take out as many as we can, they'd still kill this entire camp and Finn would still die."

"We have to try!"

"Abby," pleads Raven desperately, "we have to do something. We can't just stand here and watch them bleed him to death!"

But Abby gives her a sorrowful look. "No, Raven," she says heavily, "there's nothing more we can do."

Tears fall down Raven's face as she looks back towards the grounders, fists clenching and unclenching at her sides.

Clarke can't handle listening to this anymore. It's not in her to just do nothing, not with Finn's life on the line. She walks further down the fence with determination, towards the entrance. Her mother makes no move to stop her, but Bellamy and Raven are at her heels.

"Here, take this," says Clarke, shoving her gun into Bellamy's hands without glancing at him.

"What are you going to do, Clarke?" he demands.

"I'm going to have a talk with the Commander."

"What else can you say to her?"

"I don't know," admits Clarke, "but I have to try something."

"Give me your hand," says Raven, reaching in her pocket.

Confused, Clarke does as she's told. Raven stands right in front of her and slips something cool and metallic up her sleeve, face wiped of emotion when she says, "If she won't let him go, kill her."

Bellamy and Clarke both stare at her like she's gone crazy.

"When things get chaotic, we'll come in and grab you both. Clarke!" she says fiercely when the blonde doesn't meet her eyes, "you're the only one who can save him now. Please, I owe him my life."

When Clarke looks into her eyes, she sees so much emotion for the boy they both love. Seeing this, she knows that she can't say no to the mechanic; they'd both do anything to save him.

Clarke nods once before taking her hand out of Raven's and turns around to head through the gate, starting for the grounder camp with a spinning head. Deep down, Clarke knows that killing Lexa—not that she knows if it's even possible—there's no way she'd get out alive. Finn, maybe, but only if the grounders are fully focused on her.

When she reaches the bottom of the hill, dozens of grounders come to meet her, some on horses and holding torches. They all stare her down through black, freakish masks, and at first Clarke hesitates, but they make no move to attack her, so she continues forward. She feels very naked, what with being weaponless while they hold sharpened spears and swords so close to her face.

Indra meets Clarke, spear held high, when she reaches the end of the line. The sky girl doesn't stop until the knife point is close enough to touch her stomach.

"Why have you come?" Indra asks harshly.

"I'm here to talk to your Commander."

When Indra does not reply, Clarke takes a step forward until she feels a piercing pain in her abdomen. But she shows no sign that she feels any pain.

The grounder looks impressed, although she still doesn't remove her spear. It is only when a strong voice calls, "Let her pass!" does Indra lower her weapon, taking care to put pressure on Clarke's wound first.

Just beyond her stands Lexa, not far from the wooden pole made for Finn. Interest sparks in the Commander's eyes at the sight of Clarke heading towards her.

"You bleed for nothing," she says softly, glancing down at the blood showing through Clarke's gray shirt. "There is nothing you can do to stop this."

"But you can," says Clarke forcefully, meeting Lexa's emerald eyes with her stormy blue ones.

Lexa swallows, staring back intensely, but makes no comment.

At that moment, yells and chants sound in the distance, followed by a horn being blown into the night. More grounders are arriving, except they have a tied and bleeding Finn within their grasps. Clarke's heart clenches painfully when their eyes meet, and when she sees the acceptance in the small smile he gives her.

"He loves you."

Clarke turns around to look at Clarke, and she doesn't understand the look she is given. But no time to dwell on the confusing looks the young leader gives her.

"You can stop this if you really want to," she tells Lexa. "Show my people how powerful you are. Show them your mercy. You are not a savage, Lexa."

For a moment, Clarke thinks she is actually considering it, but then her face hardens and she is no longer Lexa the person. She becomes Lexa the Commander once more.

"We are what we are," Lexa breaths.

Ten feet from them, the grounders slam Finn's back against the pole and he grunts in pain. They tie robes tightly around his wrists and nail the end of the robe above his head. His shirt rides up his stomach slightly and he groans from the pain. Clarke can't stand to see him like this. She becomes desperate.

"What about me?" she asks, trying one last time. "I'm just as much a killer as Finn. I burned three hundred of your people without blinking an eye. I put my knife to a man's throat and slit it, watching him die. I am soaked in Grounder blood. Take me instead!"

Lexa narrows her eyes at Clarke. "You would give your life for him?"

"Yes," says Clarke at once.

The Commander closes her eyes briefly. "But Finn is guilty."

"But he did it for me!" Clarke cries, her voice breaking at the end. "He did it for me…"

Her eyes open, fiercely alive. "Then he dies for you."

It hits Clarke, the realization that she won't be able to save Finn from the grounders, not without the results ending in bloodshed of her people. She can't allow that to happen; she needs to keep them safe, if meaning she must let Finn go. Looking over at him, he looks so scared for the inevitable fate. Clarke knows what she has to do.

"Can I say goodbye?" she asks hoarsely, glancing up to see Lexa give a small nod.

Clarke makes her way over to Finn, her body weighing down heavily. She refuses to look over at the Ark, at the faces of those believing in her to save Finn. As she gets closer, he removes his gaze from the grounders and focuses his entire attention on her, pushing down the fear threatening to consume him.

"Hey—" he tries to say, but Clarke doesn't give him time for words.

She takes his face into her hands and presses her lips to his with everything in her. Finn kisses her back just as fiercely, conveying all the love he feels for her through the only contact he will ever have with her again. Clarke feels his tears against her fingers, wiping them away gently as she strokes his cheeks.

She finally breaks away from his lips to lean her head into his neck, taking comfort in all that is Finn.

"I love you too," she whispers into his ear, feeling his forehead lean against the side of hers.

"I'm scared," he admits into her hair, breathing her in.

"You'll be okay." Cool metal grazes her fingers. "You'll be okay," Clarke repeats, and slowly but with ease, she pushes the knife into his stomach.

He trembles and shakes in pain, although he doesn't make a sound. "You're okay," she assures him while his breaths quicken.

"Thanks, Princess." Finn's head falls limply against her shoulder as he stops breathing altogether.

Clarke backs away from his lifeless body with tears streaming silently down her face, clutching the knife that drips his blood. Explosions of heartfelt pain seizes throughout her body while she stares at his limp form, unable to believe what she just did. When she turns her head to meet eyes with the Commander, the other girl looks at her in shock. She clearly didn't expect Clarke to kill the boy she loved.

When the other grounders finally notice the pool of blood at Finn's feet, they raise their weapons and call out angrily, making to attack Clarke, but Lexa raises her hand.

"It is done," she calls to her people.

In the distance, Raven's cries travel all the way across the field. Bellamy tries to hold her up as she sags into him, screaming, "No!" Clarke feels the pain travel into her very skin, but she is voice of emotion. When Finn's life died away, so did her spirit.

She walks forward numbly, barely feeling the eyes of every grounder as they stare at her. When she gets closer to Lexa, she is stopped.

"Go through there," says the Commander, nodding her head towards a tent. "Wash yourself. I will send for some of your people to join you before we talk."

Clarke doesn't say anything, just follows the instructions she's told. Once inside, she collapses next to a basin filled with water, staring at the complete stranger reflecting back. This has to be a stranger, for Clarke would never look so empty, so…dead. She glances down at the hand that still clutches the knife, closing her fist around it completely until it draws blood, mingling with Finn's. Realizing what she's doing, Clarke lets it go quickly and it clatters to the ground.

She killed Finn. Killed him. Clarke promised Raven nothing was going to happen to him, and then her hand was the one that resulted in his demise. A small voice in the back of her head tries to explain how it was for the best, that the grounders would've drawn out his death so painfully, and that she did him a favor. But it doesn't seem to be justifiable to her; Clarke really is a murderer.

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