Chapter 4.
Undefeated Winner
Meanwhile at another Castle drums rolled and cheesy lounge music played.
"And now the master of disater, the chief of grief, a man who needs no introduction, but who will brutally torture me if he dosen't get one, Dr Schadenfreude!"
"Thank you, thank you," said Dr Schadenfreude to the clapping People, "You're too kind. And I'm not, but I want to welcome you all to my annual pre – Evil Science Fair party. My girlfriend, Jaclyn. She may seem like a shallow, conniving wretch . . . That's all I got. That pretty much sums her up."
Drums played and some people laughed.
"A toast to the undefeated winner of 17 Evil Science Fairs," said Jaclyn, "And the greatest evil genius in the world."
Suddenly fanfares played and a Royal Guard said:
"Bow for the King!"
The People bowed before King Malbet as he went through them.
"The greatest evil genius in the world," he said, "I remember when people used to call me that, back when the clouds destroyed our peaceful land of farmers, and my plan to backmail the world saved us all."
"Yes," said Dr Schadenfreude, "As you've told us all, over and over and over."
"Yeah?" asked King Malbet, "Well, here's more. Years ago, Schoddy's family name was Poekelmacher. His family were pickle markers!"
Everyone laughed when they heard this.
"So, what's your evil invention this year, Doctor?" asked King Malbet, "Kosher or dill?"
Later on In Dr Schadenfreude's Lab:
"I wanna shove a pickle right where the sun don't shine!" said Dr Schadenfreude.
"You mean Malaria, Master?" asked his Igor.
"No matter how many Evil Science Fairs I win," said Dr Schadenfreude, "I always have to bow down to that idiot! I will never get the respect he gets."
"Respect?" asked Jaclyn, "Respect isn't gonna keep me in baby – seal boots. You just need to keep on winning."
"That is spoken like a true worthless leech," said Dr Schadenfreude, "Who still has not helped me steal this year's winning invention."
"Maybe if you were a real scientist," said Jaclyn, "You wouldn't need me to help you cheat every year. Your whole lab is fake, . . . just like you."
"And maybe I should throw you back in the gutter where I found you," said Dr Schadenfreude.
"You're one to talk, Doctor Schaden – fraud," said Jaclyn, "You don't have the guts."
Dr Schadenfreude and Jaclyn smacked Dr Schadenfreude's Igor 5 times, they glared at each other and then Dr Schadenfreude took Jaclyn in his arms.
"Is Daddy still mad at me?" asked Jaclyn.
"No," said Dr Schadenfreude, "But you and your friend Heidi still have a little job to do."
"Oh, we're trying," said Jaclyn.
"Well, try a little bit harder!" said Dr Schadenfreude, "Because this year, I won't stop at just winning the Evil Science Fair. I'm going to unleash my winning invention on the King's smug little face and then he'll be the one grovelling at my feet!"