Gosh this took a while, and I'm really sorry to those of you who have been waiting! I promise the rest of the chapters aren't going to take this long. I had a HECTIC week full of tech rehearsals and performances. But here it is, and I hope that it was worth the wait!
Chapter 4
Per usual, Beverly was the first to jump.
She had stepped out of the car, ripped off her shirt and skirt to reveal her white undershirt and shorts, and launched herself off the edge. She flashed a small, cheeky smile at the other losers, as if to pose the question, 'who's the real man around here?' before hitting the water with an appropriately large splash, yelling back up at them, "come on you wimpy ass wipes, we've only got all night!"
Bill and Ben seemed to take this as some sort of challenge, a test to make sure that they were indeed worthy of Beverly's affection. In what seemed like perfect sync, their closed their eyes, held their breath and stepped off the edge. The predictable splash followed. Soon after, Max stepped forward with a mischievous glint in her eyes, grabbing Lucas with her right hand and Dustin with her left. She started to count, "one… two…"
Dustin spoke in between her words, "oh no no no no no, hell no."
Dustin's nervous mumbling only made Max smile harder, and she shouted, "three!"
She leapt of the cliff and Dustin followed with a compulsive, terrified scream. Lucas; however, planted his feet and stayed firmly in place. Max's indignant cry could be heard from the bottom of the canyon. He laughed a little and turned around with an annoyingly smug smile on his face, only to be knocked of his feet a moment later by El, who with a nod, had lifted him into the air. Lucas, in his state of shock, could do nothing but desperately grasp at the thing closest to him, which happened to be Stanley. Stanley cried out in protest and struggled against Lucas' grip, but there was nothing he could do, and with a twist of her head, El flung both of them off the cliff. There was a splash, and a moment later Lucas's strained voice could be heard shouting, "I thought we agreed no magic in friendly jesting!"
El shrugged, winking and extending her hand to Mike. Mike took it firmly, smiling a loving, puppy dog smile that lit up his whole face. Their friends knew it as the 'El smile', as only El could make him smile that sincerely, that fully. They jumped, and like everything they did together, it was in sickeningly perfect harmony.
For a moment, Richie was almost jealous.
Hanlon, as they'd taken to calling him to avoid confusion with Richie's twin, cleared his throat, interrupting Richie from his thoughts. "Well," he said was a heavy sigh, "I'm sure as hell not going to be the last one down there." He jumped off, turning around just long enough to throw a quick salute at Richie and Eddie.
"Well Eds," Richie said, slinging an arm around Eddie's shoulder, "it's kinda nice up here. Don't'cha think?" He tightened his grip on Eddie's shoulders, jerking him forward a little bit, teasing him.
"Don't you fucking dare Richie," Eddie said, his meaning nearly indiscernible through his frantic verbal vomit, "if you push me I could fall the wrong way and land on a rock and then crack! My head splits in two, and there's just blood everywhere, all over the rock, all over the…" Richie cut him off but giving him another friendly push, and Eddie whimpered in response.
Richie pouted, "but you make it so tempting…" Richie pushed Eddie out, harder this time, and held him at arm's length so he was dangling with one foot over the edge off the cliff.
"Don't you dare let go." Eddie squeezed his eyes shut, "I'm going to get back up on the cliff, and once I get up there, I am going to…" Before Eddie could finish his sentence, Richie released him. Eddie let out a loud, panicked scream as the earth slipped out from underneath his feet. He had just enough time to flip Richie off before he slipped out of view. Richie laughed, a loud, carefree cackle as he took off his glasses, took them in his fist, and jumped after Eddie.
He splashed into the water with a graceless bang, pushing his way up to the surface without stopping to open his eyes. He emerged from the water somewhat like a stoned turtle, disoriented and gasping for air. Before he even had a moment to breathe, he was hit by a tall wave of water which filled his mouth and nose. "Fuck you Richie!" He heard Eddie scream. He laughed in response, taking a wild guess at where Eddie's voice was coming from and flinging water in that general direction. He could tell from the surprised and slightly offended "oof!" that he had in fact hit Stan, and not Eddie. Bill and Beverly sprang to Stan's defense, Bill hitting Richie with small, consistent waves while Beverly took the time to wind up and deliver large splashes.
"Hey hey hey," Richie managed to choke out in between waves, "four against one, how's that fair?" Just as he finished his sentence, he was slammed with the biggest wave yet. He emerged, choking and sputtering, to the sound of Beverly's giggles. "At least give me a moment to breathe," he said, frantically backing away.
"Hey diarrhea for brains," Max called. The four of them turned around to see Max standing on a small beach about a hundred yards away, waving her arms frantically, "want to get out of the water before you choke on your own stupidity and drown?"
"Want to get off the beach before you face plant into the sand and can't figure out how to get back up?" Richie retorted. Nobody laughed except for Eddie, who let out an amused scoff. "Thank you Spaghetti man. You know, one day you guys are going to appreciate my comedic genius and you're going to say to yourself 'gee…'"
Beverly cut him off by splashing him a little, and saying, with a smirk on her face, "beep beep Richie." Richie sputtered, almost making a snarky comment in protest before realizing that the others, Eddie included, had begun to doggy paddle away.
"Come on!" Richie exaggeratedly whined, paddling to catch up with them so desperately that it was almost comical, "what if a giant turtle came out of the water and ate me… or… or an alien demon clown from the fifth dimension bit my arm off and I started to bleed profusely into the water. You know… I would bleed to death because all of you were busy trying to prove a point. And you would miss me! You would miss me and my foul mouth and my sex jokes and my…"
Bill cut Richie off with a sigh, "Y…y…you're running out of insults T…T…Trashmouth."
"You're running out of a sense of humor, lover boy," Richie fired back, sticking his tongue out at Bill. Richie felt his hand make contact with the shore, and he groped around blindly to find something he could use to hoist himself up. "A little help for the kid that's considered legally blind in several countries."
Stan, from his position as far as possible from the water line, called, "help yourself dipshit!"
"Bill?" Bev?" Richie flashed a winning smile at the blurry figure of Eddie, "Eds?" Eddie sighed, and Richie knew that he had won. A moment later Eddie extended his hand and Richie grasped onto it, using it to hoist himself onto the shore. He shook his head like a wet puppy and put on his glasses, winking at Eddie, "I know I can always count on you Eddie Spaghetti."
Suddenly, Richie's fears swelled to the forefront of his mind, insisting 'You're not even subtle, Richie.' Richie let his thoughts overwhelm him, and was momentarily frozen in place. 'All of your friends already know, they're just waiting to push you away at the moment it'll hurt you most. And you deserve that.'
Eddie spoke, interrupting Richie's thoughts and forcing them back into the corner of his mind. "Call me Eddie Spaghetti one more time and you're never touching land again."
Richie swayed back and forth, puckering his lips and playing hurt, "aww…. but it's so much fun to say." He took a step towards Eddie, speaking in a sing-songy voice, "Eddie Spaghetti, the Spaghetti man…" He stuck out his hands, shaking them like he was dancing to some sort of old fashioned musical number. 'Could you be any gayer?' Pounded through his mind.
"Richie I swear to God," Eddie said, taking a step back and sticking out his hand as a warning.
"Richie Tozier the spaghetti fan..." Eddie could hold in his laughter no longer, and started to giggle furiously. 'You know, Bill will be the first one to leave,' his mind insisted. He continued despite this, "the two of them should start a small spaghetti clan." 'Eddie will be the first one to follow.' The thought stopped Richie dead in his tracks. After a moment, he regained his composure, flashing a brilliant smile and overdramatic finger guns in Eddie's direction. This was Richie's night, and not a single thing could possibly ruin it for him. Richie bowed, indicating to a spot on a rock next to him, "m'lady."
Eddie raised an eyebrow and grudgingly took the seat, "want to pick on somebody else for once, Trashmouth?"
Richie pouted, "aww but you're just so much fun to tease, Eddie Spaghetti."
"He's not wrong," Stan muttered under his breath.
"All of you lay off poor Eddie," Lucas said, "why don't you pick on Dustin or something."
"Lucas, Lucas," Dustin tsked, shaking his head disapprovingly, "I don't think you understand. They can't tease me because they're all under the charm of these pearls," he purred, showing off his front teeth.
Lucas shook his head, "never do that again."
Max, who was sitting in front of El so that El could braid her hair, nodded in agreement, "I'm with stalker."
"Ladies, ladies, you're all pretty," Beverly said, pulling a plastic bag with a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of her bra, "But those are storm clouds on the horizon, so we haven't got enough time for your horse and pony bullshit. Now who wants a cigarette?" Richie raised his hand and Bev flung one at him so it bounced off his chest and landed in his lap. He leaned forward, cigarette clenched between his teeth while Bev lit it. He pulled away, blowing his first puff of smoke directly in Eddie's face. Eddie sputtered, opening his mouth to protest before Bill cut him off.
"W…w…where'd you get t…t…t…those?"
Bev shrugged, "my aunt," she lit a cigarette too, taking a puff and lolling her head back, gazing listlessly at the stars, releasing the smoke, "she keeps them in her underwear drawer." Without further protest, Bill took one out of the pack and Bev handed him the lighter. Ben's face flushed. He clearly felt obligated to take one now that Bill, his top competitor for Bev's heart, was happily puffing on a cigarette with an arm around the girl of his dreams. He reluctantly selected one and Bill tossed him the lighter.
"Ooooohoooo Haystack's getting crazy tonight!" Richie cried as Ben fumbled with the lighter, blushing bright red. When he finally got it to light, he let the lit cigarette dangle limply in his grasp for a moment of hesitation while the others watched him intently, wondering if he would actually do it. He finally took a puff, his cheeks turning red he was trying so desperately to hold in his cough. Bev extended the pack to the rest of the circle, each of them shaking their heads in succession until she reached Max, who happily took one. Max took a puff before holding the cigarette out behind her head, offering it to El. El grasped it with her teeth, still braiding Max's hair and took a puff, letting Max take it out of her mouth once she was finished.
Richie elbowed Eddie, "come on Eds, try a cigarette." Eddie's face twisted into an expression of pure horror.
Bev laughed, "come on Rich, he's never gonna do it."
"Who knows?" Richie laughed, "Haystack over there finally tried one," Ben somehow blushed harder, "as far as I'm concerned, tonight is a night of miracles!" 'At least' Richie thought, 'I really hope tonight is a night of miracles, because I certainly need one.'
"Per usual, Bev's right," Hanlon added, flashing a smile at Bev, who giggled good naturedly in response. "Eddie Kaspbrak won't smoke a cigarette while I live. He's probably too concerned about lung cancer or…"
Eddie cut Mike off, "you… you know what Mike maybe I will. Maybe I will try a cigarette." Max snickered and Richie straight up laughed, throwing his head back with reckless abandon. "You know what, I am going to try a cigarette," he snatched the box out of Beverly hand, fumbling desperately with the lighter.
"You need me to light that for you?" Richie asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Shut up Richie," Eddie hissed.
"Ay good sir Kaspbrak," Richie said in his Toodles voice, "I'm just 'ere to be of assistance!" Eddie finally got it to light, and with a smug glance at Richie, he stuck the cigarette in his mouth and inhaled sharply. He ripped the cigarette out of his mouth and keeled over, holding his stomach, coughing violently. He pulled his asthma inhaler out from the pocket of his shorts, taking an almost comically large puff from it. The circle erupted with laughter.
When Eddie finally recovered, he spoke between coughs, "I… I swear to god that was the worst experience of my life. And now my lungs are going to explode and leak grey fluid and tar all over the floor." This just made everyone laugh harder, Eddie took another puff from his asthma inhaler before speaking again. "no, no you shouldn't be laughing, it happened to my third cousin twice removed at a family dinner! My mom saw it! She told me!"
"Do you want me to finish it for ya?" Bev asked, extending a hand.
"No… no… I'm good." The circle looked at him in shock as he took another, much more reasonably sized puff of his cigarette. "What?" Eddie asked, his mouth curling into a mischievous smile, "I'm committed now, might as well finish it.
The circle lapsed into a comfortable sort of silence. Hanlon chatted quietly with Ben, Eddie alternated between his cigarette and his inhaler, Lucas edged closer to Max, Bill gazed lovingly at Bev, El finally finished Max's braid, and Richie looked up at the sky, desperately trying to quell any lingering doubts or fears. Finally, Hanlon spoke, breaking the silence, "so, are we doing prom, like usual?"
Stan spoke and they all turned to face him, "you mean are we all going in a group divided into the happy couples and the pathetic loners?" Stan shrugged, "sure. I got nothing better to do." Dustin nodded in agreement and Ben shot a longing look at Bev, who was busy smiling at Bill.
"It's not like anyone's gonna ask Mr. fanny pack," Eddie said with a sigh, shrugging, "so count me in."
Richie, with a jolt of panic, realized that it was the perfect opportunity, a once in a lifetime chance that had just been handed to him. Mike shot him an expectant look. He took a deep breath, opening his mouth preparing to do it. Mike's face lit up in an expression of happiness. Suddenly, his thoughts swelled, taking over. 'He'll never love you Richie, he'll never say yes, all it'll do is freak him out. You're disgusting.' Richie tried his best to fight them, to push them away.
He couldn't.
He really, truly, couldn't. All he could choke out was, in his horrific southern accent, "well that's quite a dern shame ain't it. Jus wait, someone'll fall fo' Sherrif Kaspbrak." Richie watched out of the corner of his eye as Mike's face fell.
"Well that's helpful Richie." Eddie laughed. It wasn't the same carefree laugh from before, it was saddened. For a moment, Richie allowed himself to believe that the laugh was even slightly disappointed, but that was too much to hope for, and he knew that. He'd made the right decision, even if it didn't really feel that way in the moment.