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Inflatable Love

Remember that moment in the movie 'Parent Trap' when the twins join both their parents in the hotel.

Or in the movie 'Twilight' when Edward regards Bella's spastic, desperate and pathetic calls in the hospital as attractive and stays with her till the end.

...interesting how me and Stud Muffin have those same names.

Anyways those were thoughts swimming through my mind as Alice met my pig.

"Aww Bella, he's so cute. I kept thinking he was pink but he's black."

What a reunion, O.J. even licked her and she didn't flinch. I wonder what he would do if he took a nip of her purse.

"If you value your possessions Alice, I would put the swine down, he likes to snoop. Besides he's really hungry."

I said this as I got his food out. "Ok Bella, lets renegotiate your outfit for tonight."

I gave her a pointed glare.

"Alice it's not up for discussion."

"I am not taking 'no' for an answer. So you either go naked or with the clothes I pick."

I shivered at the fact that if Mr. Banner was there that he would have a field day if I wore no garments.

Why in the world do I keep thinking about him? YUCK. I made my way up to my room.

"Damn, Bella for such poor fashion sense you have a tight room." I laughed at Alice's use of words.

Under her stereotype you would never find the words: gangsta. I don't even know if real gangsters says the word 'tight' but who knows?...I mean really who is a 'real' gangster. I bet if I did a survey poll on Yahoo Answers asking people if they thought they were gangster, most of them would claim to be but in reality they're just fat, Caucasian bald men who eat 65 boxes of Twinkies® a day and drink diet coke because it makes them feel better that they're at least putting some effort into losing a few calories. The only think remotely 'gangsta' about them is that they got some of the silver wrapping from the underside of the Family-sized Lay's® Chip Bag stuck in their teeth, to resemble a grill.

I paused my rambling thoughts to reply, "Why thank you darling."

She gave me a huge smile and then she got serious.

"Ok this is how its gonna work. I get to pick your outfit, and do makeup and hair. Don't worry everything will be casual. While, you my dearie, get to pick shoes and accessories."

"Not fair you get to do 3 out of 5."

I was just playing with her but I rather her not do so much considering she seems like the kind of person that would go overboard.

"Fine. You get to do hair put it must stay down. Am I clear?"

"Yes, sir-rie!"

After much rapid motion, I was allowed to go down stairs. I felt like a P.O.W being released from a tortuous prison.

"Freedom at last!"Eating cheetos and sitting on the kitchen floor never tasted sweeter.

"Oh shut up Bella!" Alice gave a small laugh.

A car honked outside.

I jumped up to check the blinds to see who it was. In a Harvey motorcycle, sat the blond movie star himself, Jasper Hale.

"Wow," was the only intelligible thing I could say.

Alice grabbed her purse and kissed me on the cheek. "Now remember before you leave, brush your teeth from the awful 236 Calories you just ate and put an extra layer of gloss. See ya tomorrow and you better give me deets."

I just rolled my eyes.

As she was getting on the vehicle, I called out to Jasper, "Hot bike!" He grinned and gave me a wink, "but not as hot as my date," as he put on a helmet on Alice's small head. I watched them drive away.

I followed Alice's mandatory instructions before making some cold sandwiches so Charlie wouldn't starve if I came late. I also wrote him a note saying basically saying where I was, who he could call, and when I was coming home. Hell being a cop's daughter comes with a lot of responsibilities.

I got into my truck and made my way to Angela's house.

I had come a little late considering I barely found a parking spot near her driveway.

But a little walk hurt no one. Angela's house was gorgeous but small. They had a little garden out front with flowers I've never seen before.

And also the stepping stones that I should have seen before but didn't and so down I fell….slowly, yup I can still entertain thoughts while I'm falling. I know, magic isn't it? But then SUDDENLY…too dramatic?

Ok…ok. Arms enveloped me, blah blah blah, and I looked at the face of my savior, none other than the mystery man himself and I fell in loooooove.

Along with that, Sam Wrestle's song popped into my head… Jizz-abelle the blow-up doll, you are my booty call
Always come when I need you, life is good Im never blue
Jizz-abelle my plastic friend, I hope this never ends
I'll wear you like a glove, its Inflatable love

I blinked and shook my head to get those random thoughts out of my mind. I had to take a big breath to steady myself and then I took a real look at him.

In the end, I didn't fall in love but I did get saved just not by the mystery man a.k.a Stud Muffin.

It was Mike from my first period with his cute ass face and creepy stalker tendencies.

"Are you okay? You blacked out for a second," Mike asked with his arms still wrapped around me.

I skillfully removed his limbs and replied with a firm 'thank you' and continued on my way to Angela's door.

She greeted me and I followed her inside. I checked behind me and breathed a sigh of relief.

Mike didn't follow me, so either he stalks Angela as well or he lives in the neighborhood.

I vaguely remember him wearing gym shorts because the poor guy was sporting a huge boner, so maybe he was jogging.

Oh well. Everyone from my group was already here.

Lauren was decked out and maybe it's my sadistic, cynical side that is calling out to me, but she looked like a messed up drag queen.

Her boobs looked fake and she applied to much make-up.

I had to fight urge to barf.

Jessica didn't look that bad, she dressed pretty casual like me.

Stud Muffin looked delectable as usual, but I didn't let my eyes wander on him for too long.

I was convincing myself that I wasn't into him yet, even though he told me he is over with his player instincts, it doesn't mean that he is done for good. He'll get horny soon with the lack of BJ's and hand jobs coming his way.

He looked up from the 'Biology Project' paper that, I'm sure he was using as I cover to not make contact with Lauren after their rendezvous from earlier that day. He smiled he crooked smile and kind of checked me out. I smirked. Maybe today will end well….