Chapter three- Confusion

What she saw was simply unbelievable. It took Lucy precisely three pinches and thirteen seconds for her to calm down a little.

She was feeling so happy that she could barely believe it herself. Ever since she ran away from home, she had never ever felt this happy before. But she didn't really blame herself for feeling so happy. The sight in front of her was just too hilarious to be true. She bet her whole house that Rogue would laugh his ass off if she told him about it. And this was Rogue she was talking about.

Thinking about Rogue laughing somehow made Lucy happier, and she couldn't help but let a stupid grin grace her normally pissed features.

'Wait a minute…' Lucy thought, the stupid grin never leaving her face. 'Telling Rogue would already be hilarious, but what if I take a photo?'

It took her less than five seconds flat to literally rip her phone from the charger, unlock her phone and take no less than twenty photos.

Sighing contentedly, Lucy gently closed the door behind her and grinned at her accomplishment, still feeling proud at having caught the 'unbelievable' on tape.

Yawning, Lucy started to dig around for breakfast. All that grocery shopping she had done yesterday was practically pointless because she had forgotten to buy cereal. And everything else she bought required at least an hour of preparation time. Of course she didn't exactly have the patience to wait an hour just for some breakfast, so she ended up going the fast food store down the street and buying two burgers.

Well that turned out to be a big mistake. The store opened at about ten thirty and it had really slow business in the mornings, so they tended to cook the food after the people ordered it. That meant she had to wait for twenty minutes just for two tiny little burgers.

It was about eleven by the time she got back and Sting had still not woken up yet. Leaving his burger on the table, Lucy quickly scribbled a note just to let him know where she was going. Last time Sting slept over, she had made the huge mistake of not telling him where she was going. He woke up to find her 'missing' and freaked. Long story short, the idiot ended up calling the police and it took Lucy about an hour to persuade them that she was fine.

Sweat dropping at the memory, Lucy put the note next to the burger.

Going shopping for the baby.

Lucy sighed loudly as she collapsed onto her couch, a piece of buttered toast hanging out of her mouth. She had spent a good three hours buying all of the baby's supplies and an extra hour putting all the stuff in place. It was a huge understatement to say that she was exhausted.

Well, at least somebody was having a rather peaceful day.

The burger on the table had miraculously disappeared and she could hear his horrible singing trailing to her ears from the bathroom. As if on cue, Sting ambled out of the bathroom, a single towel wrapped around his waist, his muscular chest fully exposed to the world.

For a split second, Sting stared at Lucy, and vice versa.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?!" Lucy screamed, her forehead vein popping.

Sting backed away, a comical stunned face on his features. "I was already here last night. Have you gotten amnesia? Do you need me to get you a doct-"

"CUT THE CRAP! I ALREADY KNEW YOU WERE HERE!" Lucy rumbled as she breathed deeply. "AS IN WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WALKING AROUND IN BROAD DAYLIGHT WITH NOTHING ON BUT A FLIMSY LITTLE TOWEL? WE HAVE A KID IN THIS HOUSE YOU KNOW. IF YOU SO DESPERATELY NEED TO STRIP THEN DO IT SOMEWHERE ELSE. NOT. UNDER. MY. ROOF," Lucy seethed as she prodded his bare chest to emphasise her point.

As if on cue, the baby started crying loudly from Lucy's room.

"Crap!" Lucy shrieked as she literally dived to her bed and smothered the baby with little kisses. "It's alright," she cooed. "You must be really hungry so mommy's going to give you some nice warm milk okay?" she said sweetly as she kissed him lightly again.

Sting stared on, utterly shocked to say the least. One minute she looked like she was going to explode and next she's gone off to play family?

"Women these days…" he sighed as he shook his head.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?"

After the huge tuck in, the baby just lay around and gurgled happily. Of course Sting complained loudly, but shut up pretty quickly after Lucy threatened him with her death glare.

"Isn't he so cute?" Lucy cooed as she picked the baby up who in turn, happily gurgled and played around with one of her blonde locks.

"Cute?" Sting snorted from Lucy's couch, arms crossed across his chest. "More like a pig with hair."

Lucy's eyes flashed dangerously as she turned around to look at Sting. Sting immediately shrivelled up into the corner and instinctively shielded himself with his arms.

"I mean look how much it drank…" he protested weakly as his words died in his throat.

Lucy turned back to the baby, only to find an extremely horrible smell wafting up towards her nostrils.

Sting, noticing Lucy's silence, walked up behind her and peered over her shoulder.

"Hey, what's wrong?..."

And for the second time that day, Sting's words died in his throat as the smell wafted up his own sensitive nose. He immediately staggered back, one hand covering his nose.

"What. The. Fuck," he spluttered as the smell began to drift around the entire room. "I think I'm going to barf. I mean seriously. I wasn't joking when I said he's like a pig with hair. How can someone's shit stink this much?..."

The expression on Lucy's face was unreadable, but it didn't take a genius to realise that she wasn't happy.

"ALRIGHT! FIRST OFF, LANGUAGE. NEVER, EVER DROP THE F BOMB UNDER THIS ROOF. AND NEVER EVER CRITICIZE HIM AGAIN! HE'S ONLY A BABY!"

"Now," Lucy continued slowly. "I need to change his diapers…"

The whole diaper fiasco ended after Lucy gave up learning how to wear diapers on YouTube. Long story short, Sting ended up changing the diapers for the baby.

"See, you put this sticky piece on top of this part," he said, a wide smirk on his face.

He could literally smell Lucy's anger, but of course, there was nothing she could do about it. After all, he was the one who helped her out.

Problem was, the baby seemed to prefer Sting over Lucy after this. AND Lucy blamed it on him.

"Just because you can wear the stupid diapers for him. I mean I feed him and do all the other stuff for him," Lucy persisted.

"Whatever," Sting brushed off, which annoyed Lucy.

"Look," she snapped dangerously. "I was thinking we should name him together," she said enthusiastically, completely forgetting her anger.

"Name him?" Sting snorted obnoxiously, pointing at the baby lying happily in his crib. "Why would I want to name a pig with hair?"

Lucy sighed deeply and rubbed her throbbing temples. "Whatever. I'm going to go out on walk to soothe my freaking migraine. And you two should really sort out your differences during that time," she snapped, already grabbing her keys.

"Hey! But we're the ones supposed to be sorting out our differences. The kid likes me remember?..."

But Lucy had already slammed the door shut.

Sting sighed deeply, switching the TV off. Lucy had already been gone for an hour. He had never been alone for this long.

Well, he technically wasn't alone, but still. Trust the baby to cheer him up.

As if on cue, the baby started crying from the crib. Sting momentarily panicked and stood up really quickly, knocking the entire coffee table over. Cups and plates from his supper flew across the living room, but at that moment, he couldn't care less.

He couldn't even imagine what Lucy would do to him if she found out he had been ignoring the pig.

"I'M COMING!" he screamed as he ran towards the baby who continued to wail on top of his lungs.

There was no foul smell, so Sting guessed that part was out…

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?!" he screamed at the baby.

The baby, who had been crying on top of his lungs, momentarily stopped and looked at Sting with wide fearful eyes. Then started crying even louder than before.

"Shit!" Sting cursed as he awkwardly picked the baby up.

He tried to rub calming circles on his back, but the baby just kept on crying. By then, Sting's patience had run thin.

Then it hit him. The kid hadn't had anything since its huge tuck-in.

Well, that may have sounded pretty simple, but it took about half an hour for Sting to realise how to prepare milk for a baby.

Sting casually poured the milk into a cup, and it took him precisely 47 seconds for him to realise that babies couldn't drink out of cups.

Then he poured the milk into a bottle, and was just about to give it to the baby when Lucy's voice randomly popped up in his head.

"…Babies never drink cold milk…"

He tried to microwave it, but the bottle became so hot that he could barely touch it.

That was when Sting decided to rely on YouTube. Problem was, he knew Lucy never let him touch her laptop, and he wasn't the best hacker.

Miraculously though, Lucy had left her phone right on the kitchen counter, so Sting gleefully grabbed it, only to find that Lucy had locked her phone as well.

Sting didn't want to risk death in the hands of Lucy if she found out he hadn't fed him correctly, so he wasted exactly 38 minutes of his life trying to hack into Lucy's phone.

Technically, he didn't waste the 38 minutes, because he did manage to hack her phone, but still. He would have been doing something better.

The moment he managed to hack onto her phone though, all his thoughts of trying to feed the baby went out of the window.

What he saw was unbelievable. Right there, on the tiny screen of Lucy's phone, was a picture of him.

And the baby.

Now that he thought about it, he did remember crawling onto the bed in the middle of the night because sleeping against the back of Lucy's couch was probably prematurely damaging his back.

And on Lucy's phone, there was a picture of him, hugging the baby like it was his own son. One arm held the baby protectively, while the other seemed to be stroking the soft tufts of hair on the baby's head. The baby had a vice grip on his arm, sleeping soundly and snuggling himself into the warmth of Sting's chest.

Scrolling through Lucy's messages, Sting bubbled with anger as he saw who Lucy had decided to send it to.

Rogue.

That asshole. He had probably sent it to fifty of their collage friends. They probably thought he had laid some chick and got stuck with their son.

Just at that very moment, the door opened and for a split second, Lucy just stared at the mess in her normally pristine apartment. And in the same split second, Sting just stared at Lucy with unmistakable anger.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY APARTMENT?! AND WHY IS THE BABY CRYING?!"

"WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO FOR YOU TO SEND THIS TO THE WORLD?!"

A/N: *Hides behind door*

I'm so sorry for not updating for months on end! . I honestly was about to give up on it, but managed to force this chapter out.

I'm so sorry it's not very good (I tried). But please review! They do actually motivate me to write but I'm just a lazy bum T.T

Feel free to add some constructive criticism, just no flames please!

Thank you so much for reading! :D