She's short, she's flat, and she's got a temper to boot. But she's cute, and she can cook. Why not give her a second look? Ooo! Ouch...are you okay?

The Trials of Uzumaki Naruto, Girl

by MingShun

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A/N: This is the rough extended version of this chapter. I needed to address some questions that cropped up when arielrocks and Firework reviewed.

A/N: If you see a character acting very OOC, feel free to let me know. I'm good at making subtle adjustments that don't destroy the story.

Translations:

"Ha ha ha...I don't believe it, you're flatter than Tsunade-hime used to-" -

"Ha ha ha...I don't believe it, you're flatter than Tsunade-hime used to be."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

The first shadow belonged to an old man. Old, but not frail. His motives were the most selfless, as he followed along to defend the girl from the dangers outside of the village.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
Chapter 3: "Ero-Sennin!"
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"Stop calling me that!" the white haired pervert shouted at the girl in the hospital bed.

"Huh?" A confused blonde intelligently replied as she fumbled awake. It took her a moment to see who was responsible for the sudden noise. Afterwards, she couldn't help but pull the covers up further, "Ero-Sennin! What are you talking about!" She crankily shouted, upset at the old man for interrupting her nap.

He didn't rise to her bait. His student's motion to hide had interested him. "Oh? What could you possibly be hiding under the blankets?" he asked as he took a corner of the the thin blanket.

"No! Stay back!" Naruto shouted in fear. It was in vain as the pervert's grinning head seemed to float closer. Not only that but she seemed to be losing her grip on the blanket.

There was a pop and a small cloud of smoke which quickly faded away. Naruto stood a few feet away from the bed, wearing a very thin hospital gown. Her arm was extended, indicating that she had just punched something.

It was apparent that Jiraiya was unhurt. The same couldn't be said about his Bunshin, but they were supposed to be sacrificeable anyway. The old pervert suddenly stopped debating the morality of making sacrificable doubles to laugh uproariously.

"Ha ha ha...I don't believe it, you're flatter than Tsunade-hime used to-" he hadn't been able to finish since a clipboard chose that moment to slam into his face with enough force to shatter apart. There was a crash as Jiraiya slammed hard into a wall. Gravity took over, pulling the old pervert from the new indent on the wall and onto the floor. He was unconscious.

"Always a pervert," the blonde Hokage huffed as she held the splintered halves of the clipboard. She turned to look at the girl that was standing out of bed.

"And you, you're supposed to be in bed," the Hokage ordered.

The blond girl made no move to follow the Hokage's demand.

Before Tsunade made her irritation known through her fist, she noticed that Naruto was gaping at her with an expression that seemed to say that everything had become clear now.

"Naruto?"

"Ne ne, Tsunade-baasan, it's Genjutsu that makes your chest that large right?"

The air turned downright hostile. Several rooms down, a machine started to dance as it tried to report that the patient was in serious trouble, but the doctors and nurses nearby were frozen in place by a very terrifying aura.

"You...You brat!" the Hokage roared as she stood to full height.

Naruto cowered in her spot, certain that this was the end of his, err her, life. A sharp pain suddenly blossomed at her forehead. Opening her eyes and looking upwards, she saw that Tsunade had her finger extended and poking her there lightly.

"You're lucky brat. If you weren't a patient, I wouldn't have hesitated to send you after the pervert," Tsunade said with a grin. A glare took over. "However, if I catch wind that you've become a pervert yourself, girl or not, I won't hesitate to end your life. Now get into bed."

Tsunade had barely finished her statement when she found the girl hiding under the covers. She leaned over the bed to check on the girl's condition.

-o-o-o-o-o-

"Brat," came a cough from behind her.

The girl stopped staring out the window at the nice weather outside to see who was speaking. "Ero-sennin!" the blond girl suddenly shrieked as she pulled the blanket over herself once again.

"Stop calling me that brat," the man growled.

Naruto took his growl the wrong way. "Eek! Go away pervert!" she cried as she gathered more of the oversized hospital blanket around her body.

"Now look here brat. I'm not just a pervert. I'm a-"

"You came to stare at me didn't you you pervert?"

Jiraiya's jaw dropped. "Super Per-What? No!"

"I feel dirty!" Naruto sobbed loudly.

"Robbing cradles now pervert?" asked a low menacing voice from behind. This was followed by the slow cracking of knuckles. Jiraiya slowly turned around with a resigned look on his face. "Tsunade-hime?" he asked as he managed a weak grin.

Naruto stopped hiding to raise an arm and cheer. "Get rid of him Baachan!"

Crack! Glass blew outwards as a white-haired pervert went through a window and made a long arc toward the ground.

-o-o-o-o-o-

It was dark and quiet out.

A spry old man slowly snuck through the hospital utilizing every last peeping skill that he had to sneak around the guards and enter a normal looking hospital room.

He approached the lump under the covers and reached forward.

"You really want to die, don't you pervert?" Tsunade asked as she stood up from her seat, a hospital bed hidden behind the door. Naruto was quietly sleeping upon the aforementioned bed.

Confused, Jiraiya ripped off the blanket.

-o-o-o-o-o-

A tarred and feathered old man hung helplessly from the front of the hospital building the next day. A sign on his back saying, 'no perverts allowed.'

And no, Tsunade didn't strip her old teammate naked, the hospital was full enough as it was.

-o-o-o-o-o-

The old man was pissed.

All he wanted to do was ask the brat whether she wanted to go on a three year training trip.

He jumped through the broken window.

"Pervert!" came a loud shout.

'Screw it,' he thought as he found himself making a hole in the wall this time as he unwillingly flew out of the hospital once again.

-o-o-o-o-o-

"Naruto?"

Naruto tensed slightly, fully prepared to call for help. She slowly looked up from the manga that she was reading to see who was speaking.

She called loudly all right. "Ah! Sakura-chan!" she greeted. Then her face fell, "I'm sorry that I couldn't bring Sasuke-teme back."

"It's okay," Sakura said reassuringly as she took a seat at the foot of the hospital bed.

Naruto's eyes narrowed before she vehemently shook her head. "No it isn't! I gave Sakura-chan a promise and I never go back on my promise!" she said as she stared at her covered feet.

Her eyes suddenly seemed to glow as if they were on fire. "I'll bring Sasuke back for you Sakura-chan! Just give me a little more time."

Sakura smiled before she slowly shook her head. "No." the girl said.

"Eh? But Sakura-chan! Don't you want Sasuke back?"

Sakura wagged her finger at the blond. "I mean, no, I won't let you go alone next time. I'll get stronger as well. When it comes time to bring Sasuke back. WE will do it together."

"..." Naruto stared at her teammate for a moment before a large grin filled her face. "Yeah, we'll do it together!"

Naruto watched as Sakura left the room. She smiled as she looked back down at her manga.

"Naruto?"

Naruto fumbled briefly with her manga before she dove for her covers. She looked up again, the blankets shielding her from view. "Sakura-chan?" she asked when she saw the pink-haired girl peering into her doorway.

"Why is your voice different?"

"Well uh...I woke up...and it was different," the girl laughed embarrassedly with a hand behind her head. Naruto ducked beneath the covers when Sakura suddenly glared at her. The sound of heavy footsteps caused her to peek out. Sakura-chan had left.

Naruto looked quietly down at her comic book. She wanted to answer Sakura-chan. She really did! But she didn't know the answer herself.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

A/N: There's a subtle breaking of the 4th wall in the beginning of this chapter. If you look closer, you'll notice that Naruto really truly didn't say Ero-sennin. I did...in the title!

A/N: Jiraiya might be a pervert but he isn't going to molest a girl. But that doesn't mean he isn't going to resort to underhanded means to get the girl to reveal herself.

A/N: I added the Sakura scene as a quick fix for Firework's review. Thanks!

As for why Naruto didn't know the reason. She never realized that women and men sound a bit different. She thought that maybe her new smokey voice was because of a sore throat or something.

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