Chapter 4
The truck stops at an old-time burger shop. (You know, the kind that have the roller-skate chicks in those hot uniforms? Yeah, that kind of burger shop.) Snake presses the call button on the menu. A Russian girl skates up to the truck.
Russian girl: Welcome to Burger Patriot, where it's our way or the highway! Can I take your - Snake?
Snake: (excited) You got it, sexy thing, just let me-
Otacon: Snake, for crying out loud, she meant your name!
Snake: You want my name? You can't have it, lady, it's- (looks at girl) Olga Gurlukovich! How ya been, babe? It seems like only yesterday I saw you!
Olga: Yeah, last night, remember?
Meryl: What happened last night, Snake? Did you and Olga do some more recon on the whereabouts of Olga's kid?
Snake: Nah, we went over to her place and drank a bottle of vodka. You know, it's true what they say about those Russians. And Olga here is no exception. She can drink with the best of them!
Olga: If I can outdrink you, then you've got that right.
Snake: (points finger at Olga) First of all, I finished 4 6-packs of Coronas before I saw you, and I hadn't eaten anything all day! I'm on some medication for my throat, that's the only reason!
Olga: Fine. Round two will come soon enough, just wait. In the meantime, what'll it be?
Snake: Gimme a Double Patriot with everything and a Corona.
Olga: (writes down order) Ok, got it. Hal?
Otacon: Let's see. . . I'll take an extra large Mountain Dew, and can you put four pounds of sugar in it, please?
Olga: Four pounds? Are you diabetic or something?
Otacon: Us hackers need to keep in shape. Nothing goes better with hacking than a 64 oz. Mountain Dew with four pounds of sugar in it.
Olga: All right, and Meryl?
Meryl: I want a triple-triple Patriot with some onion rings, two extra large vanilla milkshakes, six supersize French fries, and four orders of chicken strips.
Olga: Okie dokie, be right back with that. (skates off)
Otacon: You decided to blow off that carb-free diet again, huh Meryl?
Snake: Don't worry about her, she's got a good metabolism. That's probably just a snack for her.
Meryl: (hits Snake) You jerk!
???: Hey, calm down in there, you're scaring away the customers!
Everybody looks out the window to find a blonde African-American girl wearing a uniform exactly like Olga's. The name tag reads "Helena."
Snake: Fortune! I didn't know you worked here!
Fortune: What are you guys doing here?
Snake: Well, you see, it's like this. . .
After Snake tells the story of Raiden in the gay bar. . .
Fortune: Wow, this sounds serious. I mean I knew he was gay, but. . . Jeez. . .
Snake: Yeah, I knew it all the time.
Fortune: Well hey, our shift is over in five minutes. You don't mind if Olga and I tag along, do ya?
Snake: No way! We got tons of room back here, hop on in!
And so, Snake and friends finish off their food and get on their way.
The truck stops at an old-time burger shop. (You know, the kind that have the roller-skate chicks in those hot uniforms? Yeah, that kind of burger shop.) Snake presses the call button on the menu. A Russian girl skates up to the truck.
Russian girl: Welcome to Burger Patriot, where it's our way or the highway! Can I take your - Snake?
Snake: (excited) You got it, sexy thing, just let me-
Otacon: Snake, for crying out loud, she meant your name!
Snake: You want my name? You can't have it, lady, it's- (looks at girl) Olga Gurlukovich! How ya been, babe? It seems like only yesterday I saw you!
Olga: Yeah, last night, remember?
Meryl: What happened last night, Snake? Did you and Olga do some more recon on the whereabouts of Olga's kid?
Snake: Nah, we went over to her place and drank a bottle of vodka. You know, it's true what they say about those Russians. And Olga here is no exception. She can drink with the best of them!
Olga: If I can outdrink you, then you've got that right.
Snake: (points finger at Olga) First of all, I finished 4 6-packs of Coronas before I saw you, and I hadn't eaten anything all day! I'm on some medication for my throat, that's the only reason!
Olga: Fine. Round two will come soon enough, just wait. In the meantime, what'll it be?
Snake: Gimme a Double Patriot with everything and a Corona.
Olga: (writes down order) Ok, got it. Hal?
Otacon: Let's see. . . I'll take an extra large Mountain Dew, and can you put four pounds of sugar in it, please?
Olga: Four pounds? Are you diabetic or something?
Otacon: Us hackers need to keep in shape. Nothing goes better with hacking than a 64 oz. Mountain Dew with four pounds of sugar in it.
Olga: All right, and Meryl?
Meryl: I want a triple-triple Patriot with some onion rings, two extra large vanilla milkshakes, six supersize French fries, and four orders of chicken strips.
Olga: Okie dokie, be right back with that. (skates off)
Otacon: You decided to blow off that carb-free diet again, huh Meryl?
Snake: Don't worry about her, she's got a good metabolism. That's probably just a snack for her.
Meryl: (hits Snake) You jerk!
???: Hey, calm down in there, you're scaring away the customers!
Everybody looks out the window to find a blonde African-American girl wearing a uniform exactly like Olga's. The name tag reads "Helena."
Snake: Fortune! I didn't know you worked here!
Fortune: What are you guys doing here?
Snake: Well, you see, it's like this. . .
After Snake tells the story of Raiden in the gay bar. . .
Fortune: Wow, this sounds serious. I mean I knew he was gay, but. . . Jeez. . .
Snake: Yeah, I knew it all the time.
Fortune: Well hey, our shift is over in five minutes. You don't mind if Olga and I tag along, do ya?
Snake: No way! We got tons of room back here, hop on in!
And so, Snake and friends finish off their food and get on their way.