Hi everyone! I'm sorry for using lyrics in this chapter, but when I listened to the lyrics of this song, I knew I wanted to use it in my story. If you don't know the song (you'll find the title somewhere in the story), I strongly recommend you listen to it. I hope you like it, and I hope you like this chapter as well. Enjoy!
There he was. My little Fender. Dusty and old, but with an aura of amazing memories. I connected my guitar to the amplifier and struck a chord. Oh, the sweet noise. I felt euphoric, because I could play as loud as I wanted, since there was nobody home. Well, Achilles was in the living room, but I didn't care about him. I just wanted to play.
I looked through my old sheet music and smiled when I saw the last song I played. Disposable Heroes by Metallica. I started playing the solo, because the rest of the song sounded like shit without a complete band.
How I had missed this. Losing yourself completely. I lost my ability to care and danced and headbanged through the room. My jam session was interrupted by Achilles, who entered the room. 'What is this noise?' he screamed. I looked at him and wanted to get mad for being rude, but I couldn't help but smile since playing the guitar had improved my mood.
'It's music,' I said. He looked at me as if I had just said I actually was an elephant in disguise. 'Shit,' he suddenly said. 'What is it?' I asked. 'Forgot my lyre.' I started laughing. 'A lyre? Don't you want to try something new? I mean, you seem kind of angry, but anger can't be expressed through a lyre, can it? Lyres are for expressing sorrow, guitars for expressing anger. Of course you can express nearly every emotion you want to express through a guitar, but it's great for anger. Wanna try?' 'I'm not angry,' he said. 'And I don't want to express anything through that ugly instrument of yours.'
Okay, now I was annoyed again. I wondered how long I would be able to live in one house with him. I grabbed the sheet music, read the lyrics and started laughing. 'This song suits you,' I said with a cheeky smile. 'Why?' he asked. I handed him the paper.
"Bodies fill the fields I see, hungry heroes end
No one to play soldier now, no one to pretend
Running blind through killing fields, bred to kill them all
Victim of what said should be
A servant 'til I fall
Soldier boy, made of clay
Now an empty shell
Twenty-one, only son
But he served us well
Bred to kill, not to care
Do just as we say
Finished here
Greetings, Death
He's yours to take away
Back to the front
You will do what I say, when I say
Back to the front
You will die when I say, you must die
Back to the front
You coward
You servant
You blind man
Barking of machinegun fire does nothing to me now
Sounding of the clock that ticks, get used to it somehow
More a man, more stripes you bare, glory-seeker trends
Bodies fill the fields I see
The slaughter never ends
Soldier boy, made of clay
Now an empty shell
Twenty-one, only son
But he served us well
Bred to kill, not to care
Do just as we say
Finished here
Greetings, Death
He's yours to take away
Back to the front
You will do what I say, when I say
Back to the front
You will die when I say, you must die
Back to the front
You coward
You servant
You blind man
Why, am I dying?
Kill, have no fear
Lie, live off lying
Hell, hell is here
I was born for dying
Life planned out before my birth, nothing could I say
Had no chance to see myself, moulded day by day
Looking back I realize, nothing have I done
Left to die with only friend
Alone I clench my gun
Soldier boy, made of clay
Now an empty shell
Twenty-one, only son
But he served us well
Bred to kill, not to care
Do just as we say
Finished here
Greetings, Death
He's yours to take away
Back to the front
You will do what I say, when I say
Back to the front
You will die when I say, you must die
Back to the front
You coward
You servant
You blind man
Back to the front"
'What do you mean with this?' Achilles asked. 'Well, I just think it suits you. You're just a disposable hero. "Bred to kill them all, a servant 'til I fall, looking back I realize, nothing have I done." I think it suits you,' I said. I saw my goal had been reached. He was getting angry. Very, very angry. 'What do you mean, nothing have I done? I have written history!' he growled out. 'Yeah, but have you changed anything? Have you set an example? I don't think so! You've just killed some people! Nothing legendary about that! Have you ever done anything else than killing men? I don't even know why you're still known, for killing people is not something that demands much talent. You just have to have a lack of sanity.'
The anger in his eyes turned into cold-blooded hate, but I didn't look away. 'How dare you,' he whispered. 'You don't know anything about what I've done. You're just jealous of me. After you die, no one will know your name, you won't be missed.' 'I'd rather be missed than remembered for something stupid,' I said. 'I KILLED HALF OF THE TROJAN ARMY BY MYSELF. WITHOUT ME, THEY WOULD HAVE DEFEATED THE GREEK ARMY! DO YOU THINK ANY MAN CAN DO THAT?' I was silent for a moment. 'Yes, I do,' I said then. To my surprise, he walked away to open the window. He turned around, looked at me, and in less than a second, he had grabbed my ankles and I was hanging upside down from the window.
'Do it,' I said. 'Do it then.' Achilles didn't return. 'I will be dead, but nobody will miss me, the gods won't have to decide if they want to kill me or not, and you won't have to deal with me anymore. The secret of the Gods will die with me. Why don't you just do it? I've been extremely rude. And after all, you're used to killing people. Would one insignificant little girl make a difference?' Deep down inside, I really started hoping that he'd do it. I wouldn't even care. I wouldn't have to wait until the Gods would decide, and I wouldn't have to be in one house with a grumpy half-god. 'Do it, for god's sake! There are no disadvantages! Let go!'
He started squeezing my ankles, and I braced myself. Achilles sighed, but instead of letting go he pulled me up and put me down on the window-sill. He looked at me for a moment, then he turned around and left the room.
After that near-death experience, I pretended like nothing had happened. I played my guitar some more, and then I realised that I was dying for some cigarettes. I knew I didn't had any myself, so I searched my mother's room, but found nothing. The kitchen was empty as well, so I decided to ask Achilles.
He was sitting on a couch in the living room, looking through a magazine. 'Achilles, we need to go to the supermarket,' I said. 'We can't leave the house,' he said grumpily. He didn't even look at me, so I know he was still furious about the things I had said. 'But we're nearly out of food and I need some cigarettes.' 'Haven't you heard me? We can't leave the house!' 'Come on! I bet that my mother's boyfriends have forgotten enough clothes here to dress you like a normal man. No one will even suspect that you're some sort of god.' 'I said no!' shouted Achilles. 'Fine.' I said. 'But if I die from starvation, it's your fault.' 'Then tell me, why would I care, or feel guilty, if you died?' said Achilles. I sighed and walked away.
Suddenly, I remembered that I had bought a pack of cigarettes on the day I came to Hades. Did I leave it there? I rushed towards the kitchen, to search my vest. And there it was, a little package filled with goodness. I went back to the living room, opened the window and sat down on the window-sill. I lit up a cigarette and took a long drag.
'You want some too?' I asked Achilles. 'No,' he said. 'Still mad?' I asked. 'You can still push me out of the window now. I don't know if you've seen it yet, but the house has been built on a hill. The front door is at ground level, but here, we're about four metres above the ground. If I land well, I'll break my neck and die.' 'I am not going to kill you,' said Achilles. 'Not? I thought you'd love to-' 'Yet,' he said. I laughed and blew a little cloud of tobacco goodness.
I felt like it was time to get some fresh air, so I went down to the cellar, grabbed a football, opened the door and entered the garden. The garden was the only place that was filled with rather good memories. Mostly because my mother never came here, and playing football had always been a fun pastime. I started kicking the ball against the wall aimlessly.
'There you are!' I suddenly heard. I looked at the doorway, where Achilles was standing, looking agitated. 'I've been looking everywhere for you!' 'Ahw, were you missing me?' I sked. 'This is no joke! Don't you understand? No one can know about us!' he screamed. 'Dude, calm down. I'm just in the backyard, I'm not going away or something. Besides, if I wanted to tell anyone, they wouldn't even believe me.' 'How can I calm down if you are just going everywhere? I'm supposed to be guarding you, and that shouldn't be that hard.' 'Oh, and what is Zeus going to do if I get away? Kill you?' I asked sarcastically. 'That's not funny,' he said angrily and he turned around. 'Achilles, wait.' He turned around, still looking pissed. 'I'm sorry, okay?' He growled something. 'Wanna join?' I asked, gesturing at the football. 'What is that?' he asked. 'You've never played football before?' I asked. 'Of course not,' he said. 'Well, it shouldn't be too hard for an athletic hero like you,' I said cynically. He rolled his eyes and started kicking the ball against the wall like I had done before.
'It's fun,' he said after a couple of minutes, 'but I prefer using my hands.' He grabbed the ball, turned around to the hills that were behind our backyard. When he threw it, I saw the evidence that he was not a normal man. His throw was so powerful that the ball disappeared behind the hill. 'Oops,' he said sarcastically. 'Come on, that was my favourite ball!' I said. 'Go fetch it, then.' 'No, you threw it away, so you should fetch it,' I said. 'Well sorry, but I don't need that ball,' he said like a little child. 'Fucking hell,' I said and walked towards the hills. When I had arrived at the end of the garden, I turned around and screamed: 'One day I'll have my revenge, cockface!'
After quite a long time, I arrived at a little creek in the valley, where the ball was lying. Just as I picked it up, I heard some loud rumbling above me. I looked up, and saw that the skies had turned dark grey. 'Fucking hell,' I whispered again, as I felt a droplet splashing apart on my nose. I started running, hoping that I could reach my house in time, but by the time I arrived on top of the mountain, it was pouring with rain already. Achilles was nowhere to be seen. 'ACHILLES!' I shouted. 'ACHILLES!' Just before I was about to scream his name for the third time, his stature appeared in the doorway. 'CLOSE ALL THE WINDOWS, NOW!' He seemed to have heard me, because he quickly disappeared and I started running down the hill.
I was near the base of the hill, when I tripped over a stone, which caused me to fall and roll through the mud until I had reached the backyard. Cursing loudly, I got up and ran the last bit towards the back door. I kicked off my shoes and ran up the stairs. Achilles was standing in the hallway and started laughing when he saw me. 'You look like some sort of swamp monster!' he said and started laughing again. 'Yeah, real funny, indeed. And all because you had to show off your muscles. Thanks a lot,' I snarled at him, and then I made my way to the bathroom to take a long, hot shower.
Showering is always a good thing, but if you haven't showered for three days, you've been through a lot and you're covered in mud, it's even better. Until you find out you haven't got dry clothes. 'ACHILLES!' I screamed. No response. I made the water stop running and screamed his name again. 'What?' his low voice shouted from downstairs. 'Could you get me some clothes?' 'Where?' he shouted, running up the stairs. 'From the closet in my bedroom. The guitar room, you remember?' I responded. 'Just grab some clothes and a bra and some underwear!' 'What's a bra?' he shouted. I sighed. 'Just grab some normal clothes, and a weird bumpy thing from the bottom left drawer and just grab five things from the bottom right drawer, so I can choose the best one!' 'Okay!' he shouted. About a minute later, he knocked on the door. 'Just throw them in, and don't look!' I said. The door opened, his hand appeared, he dropped the clothes and shut the door again. 'Thanks you!' I said and I continued showering.
I got dressed and sighed because Achilles had picked a short, sleeveless black dress, which was way too cold. I went to my room, grabbed a woollen, oversized vest and went back downstairs. 'Great outfit when you're cold,' I said grumpily when I saw Achilles in the living room. 'Oh, sorry I don't know everything about modern clothing,' he said grumpily. 'Great weather, by the way,' he added. He was absolutely right. The rain was pouring down like its life depended on it, and a thunderstorm had joined to make it even jollier. 'Be right back,' I said.
I found a bottle of long-preservable milk in the cellar, and we still had some cocoa and sugar, so I decided to make us some hot chocolate. I used to do this every time the weather gods were angry and my mother wasn't at home, and it was fun to do it again after all those years.
'What is this?' Achilles asked as soon as he had tasted the cocoa. 'Hot chocolate,' I said. 'It's amazing,' he said. 'I know,' I said smirking. I waited for him to continue the conversation, but he remained quiet. And quiet was how everything stayed that evening.
While I was making my way to my bedroom to go to sleep, I wondered why everything felt so weird. The house didn't feel like I had lived in it, it felt like I was in some sort of hotel. But, on the other hand, every little corner was tied to a memory. That was where I hid all day after I had insulted my mother's new boyfriend, that's where I cried for an hour and swore to myself to never forgive my mother. 'Everything alright?' Achilles said. I turned around agitatedly. 'My god, Achilles, you scared the life out of me!' I said. 'I'm sorry. But are you okay?' I nodded. 'I came to ask where I can, you know, do what I need to do?' he asked. 'You mean shitting?' He nodded. I brought him to the bathroom, showed him the toilet and explained how to flush. 'Anything else?' I asked. 'Yeah, where can I sleep tonight?' he asked. 'You can just choose a room, except mine of course,' I said. 'Why are there so many rooms?' he asked. 'This place used to be a hotel, and my mother always had many guests here, so she needed a lot of guest bedrooms,' I explained. 'Okay. Just wondering,' he said. 'I was wondering about something as well,' I said, without thinking twice. 'What is it?' he asked. 'Why do you need to use the toilet?' He stared at me, and I realised how weird that question was. 'I mean, you're immortal, you don't have needs to fulfil, you don't have to eat or anything, so why do you need to go to the toilet?' 'Honestly, I don't know,' he sighed. 'Perhaps it's because I'm not a god, but a half-god and that being back on earth brings certain memories and that my needs are just illusions. I just don't know.' 'Why are you the only half-god in Heaven?' I asked. 'Oh, I'm not the only one. Herakles is in Heaven too, he has been deified by Zeus himself, but only because he was a son of his. I wasn't meant to come to heaven. I was sent to the Elysian fields after I was killed, but my mother sort of kidnapped me and brought me to Heaven. Zeus was furious, but I had left the underworld and was therefore immortal.' 'You don't seem so, I don't know, happy about it,' I said. 'That's more than true,' he said. I looked at him questioningly. 'You think I am happy to be immortal? Do you wonder why I've never come to earth? Because it hurts! It fucking hurts! Seeing all those people, living mortal lives! I wasn't meant to be immortal! I've grown up knowing the gods, because they were my family, and I knew they envy us because we have the ability to die! Everything is more enjoyable when you know it might me the last time you experience it! How do you think it would feel if you see people feeling the happiness that you know you will never feel again?' 'I understand,' I said softly. 'No, you don't!' Achilles shouted. 'Of course you don't understand! You don't know what it's like, to spend eternity knowing you weren't meant to go through the eternal suffering, but you can't escape it! Every day feels like I'm in fucking Tartaros! Jumping between mortality and immortality, like the other gods do, is nothing for me. Who are you, when you can be anyone?' 'I think you're right, but don't you think you're exaggerating a little bit?' I asked. 'Exaggerating? How dare you?' he growled out. I had never seen anyone being that mad, and it was absolutely frightening. But I wasn't the kind of person who flees when attacked. I'm the kind of person who fights fire with fire. 'I absolutely agree, but you don't have to be such a little bitch about it. I understand it's hard and all, but if you can't change it, can't you stop worrying about it?' I said fiery. 'For a moment, I thought you were rather smart, but now I see, you're just as everyone else!' 'Okay, now you've got to listen-' 'NO! YOU LISTEN TO ME! YOU WILL NOT TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!' he shouted. He clenched his fists, and for a moment I thought he was going to attack me, but he punched a hole in the wall and walked away.
I lay down on my bed. Had I gone too far? I didn't think so. I just told him what he needed to know. It probably wouldn't make my stay here more enjoyable, but it was actually ruined from the start. I sighed and tried to go to sleep, but every time I closed my eyes, I saw the fire I had seen in his eyes, which kept me awake for a rather long time.