Disclaimer: I own nothing.

I am getting seriously getting addicted to writing this story. This chapter is short (it's only 528 words!) but it's supposed to be. It is mostly to show how Edward feels and why he makes his decision. Please review! This chapter is written from Edward's point of view!

Chapter 4-Depression

I was being selfish: getting depressed over Bella and Collin. I should have been happy if my love, Bella, was happy. I was so greedy to want to have Bella all to myself.

But it all happened so quickly. One minute she was in love with me, next she was running away with a werewolf. I didn't know anything about Collin-his age, how he looked, or any of his personal details. All I knew was that Bella loved him more than she loved me and I couldn't blame either of them for my depression.

It was my fault.

I'd thought that this would probably happen while she was a human not a vampire. After I'd changed her I stupidly predicted that we'd spend the rest of our everlasting lives together. We would be two pieces of one heart that would beat not because of blood but because of our love for each other. Now she had gone and left my heart broken. However I understood her decision. Why should she love the man that changed her into an immortal, forcing her to leave her whole human life behind?

I was always dangerous for her: I had been the cause for her to almost die too many times. I wanted to be happy for her, to be glad that she was free from the danger that had hurt her but I couldn't. I used to think that I knew what was good for her but I never did. I always made the wrong decisions.

Even though I knew Bella would be fine and forget about me after a while, it was I that was the problem. I didn't know if I could last without her. I had told myself before that if Bella was to choose another man, I would stay in this world for her sake in case she ever needed me.

However I didn't know how long I would be able to live anymore if she wasn't with me. Was my life really worth living without her? She was my life.

I ran through the trees faster than ever before. The speed should have been exhilarating yet I felt nothing but depression. If I ran fast enough my family would not be able to catch up in time. I would be gone. I knew that it would cause my family to suffer but they were strong and they didn't need me. They've experienced too many traumatic events for mine to be particularly outstanding.

I was absolutely and utterly sure where I was going. I wanted to go. It was a selfish and inconsiderate decision but it was a final one.

I hated myself for what I'd done and even more for what I was doing right then. At least I knew that I had nothing to fear. Nothing could be worse than this.