Chapter Three

Alright here comes part Three, and with it my extreme apologies for a) changing it, b) not actually moving the story along with the next instalment, and c) most likely aggravating you beyond belief.

On the up side, I'm editing again! And I've got the next chapter edited and written! Yay!

Once again a big thank you to DeepCrimson91, my amazing beta .

Detention, and Learning The School Motto

Elena

I was by no stretch of the imagination a 'morning' person. So it was therefore no surprise that when some imbecile attempted to wake me up, I did not budge. I screwed my eyes tightly shut and willed them to bugger off.

"Lena," said a bossy feminine voice. "You have to get up now."

Now I was not the type of person who ever woke up wondering where they were, in my opinion that was all total crap people put in books and things so that the character could come off as a little innocent and whatever. However I will admit that I wasn't entirely sure who the owner of this irritating voice was.

"Lena," said the voice. Then someone poked me.

My snapped open and narrowed under the sheets.

"Lena," poke, "get," poke, "up" poke poke.

"Alright, I guess I'm just going to have to tickle you-"

Okay that's it.

The fingers of the irksome female came down and had scarcely brushed my body through the covers before I raised myself up with incredible speed, still covered by my sheet and duvet, and turned around and roared at the vile woman.

That's right, I roared. Well I roared as best as a human can; yelling 'ROAR!' for a prolonged time and at the top of my lungs.

There was a chorus of terrified screams as the sheet obscuring my vision flapped about and out of the way. I lowered my make-shift wings and glared. I now could see who had been stupid enough to poke me, I was surprised.

The girl in front of me was the really smart one- whose name escapes me- who I'd met on the train. She'd been reading Hogwarts; A History.

"You of all people," I growled at her, "should know the school motto."

The wide-eyed girl stopped looking so wide-eyed and instead frowned.

"Of course I know it! I've read Hogwarts; a History at least eleven times!"

"And so," I hissed, getting up on my knees, and then swinging one leg out of the bed, "why do you not take heed of it?"

I was out of bed and standing on the cold wooden floor boards now, still tangled up inside the sheets, and a small part of me was crying out mournfully for the company of my warm bed.

Recognition flickered in through the eyes of girl who's name I couldn't remember, and a tiny smile tugged at her lips. I narrowed my eyes further. If there was one thing that bugged me when I was cranky, it was people smiling.

I sound like a bitter old lady, I thought absentmindedly to myself.

"Never tickle a sleeping dragon," stated... damn it! Why can't I remember people's names?

There were titters in the room, and I jerked my head sharply to death glare them. Stupid girls, I'll get them later.

Seeing as I was up, and there was now no chance of going back to sleep, I clawed off my covers and stalked over to my trunk.

Looking at the boring and hideously ordinary uniform, it was clear that some adjustments would need to be made before I would wear it. Yesterday in the train I'd been too pumped to care too much about how I looked, but now it was a necessity. I'd read enough of the huge rule book to know that there were sufficient loopholes to cater for my needs.

I found a pair of black skinny jeans, magically copied my Gryffindor crest onto a matching waistcoat, tied the red and yellow tie loosely and pulled on my pair of black converse All Stars.

There, now I can wear it and not want to gag.

Having my grouchy scale at four point five, I went down to the common room to see who could take me to the food before I got really cranky and hexed someone.

"Morning Lena," called Ron, his cheerful voice grating against my ears.

Why was everyone so damned perky? It was too early for this, I hadn't even had my coffee yet!

"Morning Ron," I replied flatly.

Wait a minute, where was Harry? Ron and he look like they're usually joined at the hip.

When I put this question to him, he said "he'll be along in a minute, he, uh, didn't sleep well last night."

"Oh okay. What lesson do we have up first?" I wanted to get an idea of how much coffee I'd have to consume.

"Er," he checked his timetable quickly. "Charms with Hufflepuff."

I shrugged, not bad then.

"Morning Harry!" Ron called suddenly at me, with that same, perky tone.

I tried not to flinch.

Circe**! What is with this boy? Did he have an overdose of cheering charm or something?

Harry smiled at me, looking immensely amused by my new uniform, "Morning, Lena."

I smiled slightly and lifted my head in greeting.

"Now all we need is Hermione, and then we can go to breakfast," said Ron, rubbing his stomach.

"Good," I intoned.

Who was Hermione again?

"I'm coming," said Hermione as she raced down the stairs, her book bag making her tilt sideways.

Aha! That's what her name is. Merlin's hat how many books did the child need?

"Great, now can we all please go and eat? I'm hungry and when I'm hungry I get cranky."

"You were cranky al- Lena, what have you done to your uniform?" Hermione exclaimed, her voice raising three octaves.

"I looked normal in it. Normal is not me," I said honestly. "Besides the rules have nothing against my adjustments."

"Why do you even bother reading them, if you're just going to break them?" asked Hermione.

"I always say that you should learn the rules so you can break them properly," I said with a yawn.

Hermione frowned. "At least wear a robe!"

"Ugh fine!" I snapped, "Accio school robe."

Hermione looked a little hurt.

Oo-oh, I hate it when people make me cranky.

"I'm sorry 'Moine," I said with a slightly-louder-than-needed exhale. "I'm not a morning person and I need my coffee. I'm sorry I roared at you, and I won't wear my new uniform without a robe over it again."

She looked mollified. "That's alright, I guess I should have remembered the school motto better," she said with a grin.

I grinned back, noticing Harry and Ron's confused looks.

Now if I could just get some food and coffee all would be right in the world.

My robe came swooping down the stairs, and landed neatly in my hand.

I pulled it as we ran to the Great Hall- Ron seemed to like food as much as I did- and set about grabbing the toast from each other.

Three cups of strong coffee later, my grouchy scale was at zero, and I was smiling and laughing with my new friends.

"Lena, could you please pass the Marmalade?" asked Hermione from the other side of Ron, who was currently stuffing his face with as much as he could lay his hands on.

"Sure, here," I handed her the jar.

"Hello, young Harry," said a voice from behind me.

"Oh my gosh! I didn't know you guys had ghosts here!" I said.

The ghost in question turned and smiled warmly at me. "Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington at your service, Madame," he said, before bowing his head and kissing my hand.

I was a little taken aback by his gesture, but quickly overcame it.

"We all call him Nearly Headless Nick," chimed in Ron.

Sir Nicholas didn't seem very happy with this.

"Elena Holland, a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Sir Nicholas," I said quickly.

"Ah yes, you were the young lady that stumped the Sorting Hat!"

"Yeah, that old hat was confused alright, good thing he knew the right place to put her," said a grinning Seamus.

"Cheers to that," said I happily, raising my glass.

Cedric

I laughed as Ernie MacMillan balanced a spoon on his nose, and laughed even harder when it fell off and landed in his porridge; splattering us all with soggy white lumps.

"So," began Aaron Smith (Zacharias Smith's cousin, much to Aaron's disgust) "did you lads catch a look at that new Gryffindor?"

"The titchy one? What was his name? Abercrombie?" asked Justin Finch-Fletchy.

"No you muppet!" said Aaron, cuffing Justin over the head. "The fit one that got sorted last! The Holland girl!"

Aaron lived in London with his family, and spent a lot of time around Muggles. He'd picked up so much of their slang that we didn't know what he was saying half the time, but in this case it wasn't hard to decipher his meaning.

"Oh that one!" said Justin.

"Yeah, 'that one'," Aaron said, playfully punching his friend's arm.

"Morning," said Zacharias, who had just swept into our midst and set himself down between Justin and Aaron.

"Morning Zack," I said politely. I kind of felt sorry for the guy; he didn't really have any friends. Then again, he was too big-headed to notice this.

"So what are we talking about?" he asked, serving himself the rest of the pancakes.

"The Holland girl," said Justin, who didn't looked pleased that Zack had helped himself to the pancakes he had intended to guzzle.

"I heard she's hanging out with Harry," said Ernie, who had gone back to his porridge.

I stiffened; ever since I'd lost Edward, I wasn't sure how to feel towards The Boy Who Lived.

"Figures, the minute a beautiful girl gets here, he nabs her for himself," Zack grumbled. He'd never quite gotten over the fact that Hannah Abbot had thought Harry was 'cuter' than he was.

"Oh come off it," said Ernie "She was probably going to end up with them anyway, what with her being a Holland and all."

"I dunno, she doesn't act like much of a Golden Girl," said Justin.

"What do you mean?" asked Aaron.

"Well, apparently she jinxed Malfoy so well on the train that he had to get Snape to brew him up an antidote. He was coughing up hair balls for thirteen hours."

"Couldn't he have just gone to Madame Pomfrey?" I asked, relieved that the conversation had drifted.

"Malfoy? And admit that someone was better than him? Not a chance," said Justin, who was quietly eating Zack's pancakes while he bragged to some third year about how he'd supposedly battled a troll in the holidays.

"I like this girl already," said Aaron, grinning at the thought of Malfoy throwing up the congealed brown hairballs.

"You already liked her before you heard that," I pointed out.

"Yeah, but now I genuinely like her, and I don't just want to snog her face off."

We laughed so hard that pumpkin juice came out of Ernie's nose, which made us laugh even harder.

"Aah, it's so good to see young people having fun," said the Fat Friar as he came floating over to us.

"Good morning, Friar," I said, wiping away the tears of mirth that had collected in my eyes.

"Good Morning Cedric, how are things looking this year for the Quidditch team?"

"Great; we've already set the date for tryouts."

"Good show, doing it earlier so we can train more?"

"That's the idea, sir."

"Ah well, I see Sir Nicholas is introducing himself to that charming Holland girl, so I'd better do the same," and with that, the friar flew over to a blushing girl who's hand was being kissed by nearly Headless Nick.

"Even the ghosts fancy her," remarked Justin.

"Hey, where'd my pancakes go?" cried an outraged Zack, causing us to go into hysterics again. Funny how some days I could laugh at the slightest thing and others it would take Snape getting thirty pies in the face to make me crack a smile.

"Hey, Ced," came a shy voice from beside me.

I turned to see Cho; my girlfriend of a year. I knew how lucky I was to have her; she was smart and beautiful and played Quidditch, but sometimes I wondered what it would be like to have a girlfriend my parents didn't dote on. A girlfriend who didn't have a 'reputation' to maintain or a posse that followed her around. A girlfriend who sometimes did crazy things, and made a fool of herself, and who could laugh at herself. A girlfriend I didn't have to be perfect for.

Stop deluding yourself, Ced. Cho's great, and she's your girlfriend; you shouldn't be thinking, or in this case, wishing that there was someone out there for you who was all those things…

"Morning, Cho," I smiled.

She smiled back and sat down next to me, grabbing my hand under the table and putting it on her thigh.

Recently she'd been very ...confusing. Aaron calls her bipolar, but that's a bit harsh. It's just that... she seems really shy sometimes, but then a split second later, she's all over me or something. Take the train ride to Hogwarts for example; one minute we're talking about the coming year, and how I'm a prefect, and the next thing she's trying to suffocate me with her tongue.

"How'd you sleep?" I asked her, trying to disentangle my hand gently so as not to offend her. However after a few moments it became clear that she wasn't letting go, and so I attempted to eat my breakfast left handed.

"Very well thanks, and you?"

"He snored the whole night," put in Aaron.

"Yeah, I slept pretty deeply," I said, kicking him under the table.

Cho's face fell slightly, "you didn't dream of me?"

What?

A few weeks ago I told Cho that I'd had a dream about her, and now it seemed she thought I dreamed about her all the time, or at least that I should.

"Erm, no, not last night."

"Oh. Well I'd better get going, need to get my books."

"Well that was odd," said Justin after she'd left.

"I always thought she was a nutter," said Aaron.

"Yeah, weird that one," said Zack with a sniff.

"You think any girl who doesn't kiss the ground you walk on is weird," said Aaron. "Which pretty much eliminates any female with half a brain."

"Well," said Zack, looking affronted, and left, his robes billowing out behind him in a way not unlike Snape's… I shivered a little; that was a disturbing thought.

"Holy Hippogriffs…" said Ernie, who had looked up from his mug of hot chocolate.

Turning to see what he was staring at, I took a sharp intake of breath.

The world seemed to be going at a fraction of its normal pace, and I watched the scene before me in slow motion.

Seated between Harry and a boy with sandy blonde hair, sat Elena Holland, savouring her peach in a state of ecstasy.

I watched as a thin river of juice slid past her wrist and down her arm. It only trailed down for a brief moment longer, until she raised her arm to lick the glistening trail with her pink tongue, before once again tenderly biting into the golden orb cupped in her hands, her lips slowly closing, and a tiny, deeply happy smile spreading itself across those same red, shining lips.

Look away Ced. You have a girlfriend. LOOK AWAY.

I jerked my head back to my plate.

Aaron's jaw was slack, Ernie's eyes were the size of saucers, and food was falling from Justin's open mouth.

"Justin, you just lost some of your," I squinted at the pinkish lump, "sausage."

"Huh?" he said, still looking at the Gryffindor table.

Aaron snapped out of it, looked at me, and grinned.

"Too bad you have Cho, mate."

I rolled my eyes, and left to get my books, but not before a sound of mingled flutes and a child's laughter reached my ears.

Not many people were around in the halls at this time in the morning, but you could hear the cheerful bubbling sound of everyone talking and laughing all through the castle. It comforted me, although I'm not quite sure why. My polished shoes made a clean sound as they hit the tiles, and I found myself listening intently as I made my way to the common room.

I was glad to be back with my family. My Hufflepuff family of course, not my biological one. Not that I didn't like being with my biological family... It was just, harder, to be with them now. After what had happened.

Everything at home had changed, but at Hogwarts it nothing had. At first glance anyway. I was just so sick of change. I wanted something to stay the same, to go back to what it was before Edward had gone into that damn maze- no. Everything had been fine when he'd gone in. It was when he came out that nothing was right again.

"Pigmypuff," I muttered to the bust, and the wall slide around to let me in.

The Hufflepuff common room was as welcoming as ever, and I felt a little more at ease once inside. My books were right where I'd left them; on top of one of the many tables next to my book bag. Why couldn't everything be like that? Stay put right where you left it? Why did things have to move about while you weren't there?

I shook my head; this was ridiculous.

I pulled the bag onto my shoulder but stood and looked around for a moment longer. I looked at his chair; the one he used to sit in whenever he was in here. It was right by the window, but close enough to the fire so that you could still keep warm in winter. It was empty now, but not just because no one was sitting in it. Well actually that's exactly why it was empty, but it was more empty because to me, no one would ever sit in it again. It would never be whole.

Something like me.

I frowned and turned back to the wall, walking briskly out of it and towards my class.

I didn't so much think as I felt while I walked. Frustration and confusion swirled around with sharp edges of depression stabbing at something tender within my chest, all mixing but just resulting in a very hollow, nameless sense of loss and lack of hope. Then the frustration would kick in again, and then there'd sometimes be short stabs of almost tangible pain as the whole stupid wheel turned around and round all over again.

"Oi!" called a voice I knew almost better than my own, shattering for a moment the chaotic spin of my emotions with a ray of recognition and fond memories and happiness.

Aaron was down the hall, jogging towards me.

"Mate, you've got to stop walking to fast, you're making me look bad here."

I grinned weakly at him. Aaron had been my best mate since first year, and he knew me better than most people. He was easy to be around and always looking for a good time and a laugh. And a girl, he always had his mind on some or other girl.

"Look," he started. "I know you're... messed up right now. I don't know how to fix it mate and I really wish I could."

He looked at me with worried indigo eyes and scratched the back of his neck as he always did when he wasn't sure how to say something. I plastered one of my many half hearted smiles on and waited.

He blew out a puff of air, "I know we've talked about it a fair bit, but I just want you to know that I'm here for you mate."

I nodded, "I know, thanks Aaron."

He smiled and his eyes went back to their normal shade of plum, if still slightly clouded. His dad had been nature Sprite, and that's where he'd gotten his strange eyes from. The girls all went crazy for it though, so he was pretty chuffed with them being so different, even if he sometimes thought purple was a naff colour.

We walked together in silence to class, and arrived with a few others.

Flitwick's classroom had always been my favourite; it was large and sunny with tall windows, and we all loved Professor Flitwick himself.

Aaron hit my shoulder lightly.

"Here comes Elena Holland," he whispered.

I turned to see the Golden Trio plus one enter the class.

Hermione Granger immediately hurtled towards the front row and claimed four seats.

Aaron casually did the same and sat in the isle across, motioning me over. I smiled, shaking my head as Ernie and I joined him.

Elena Holland appeared from behind Ron Weasley and took her seat next to Hermione.

"Good morning class," said Professor Flitwick, clambering up onto his pile of books so he could see everyone.

"It's nice to see you all again, and welcome to you, Miss Holland," said Flitwick, nodding towards Elena, who gave a dazzling smile that sent my stomach into summersaults.

Flitwick seemed to be a little flustered as well.

"Ah yes, there's that Veela blood coming into play. It was your great grandmother, correct?"

'Yes, on my mother's side," came a strange voice. Strange in the sense that it was both smooth and slightly throaty like velvet, but sweet and tinkling, like sugar plums.

"As I understand it, you were top of your class at Beauxbatons?"

Elena inclined her head slightly, shrugged her shoulders a tiny bit.

"I am rather good."

"Ah, is there anything in particular you think we'd be interested in?" Flitwick asked.

"Umm…" pearly white teeth appeared and lightly bit her full red bottom lip.

Her eyes lit up, and she bounced over to the front of the class.

"Could I have a piece of glass?"

"Certainly my dear," Flitwick clambered down, and after a bit of shuffling, appeared once again with an old ink bottle.

Elena took out a peculiar looking wand, turned her wrist in a circle and a kind of sideways eight, before pointing it at the bottle and muttering something under her breath.

The glass began to gently, sort of unfold itself, twisting and turning, stretching and bending until it had been melded into a kind of round bowl with curved pieces at the rim. I recognised it immediately; Lily of the Valley. It had been one of Edward's favourite flowers, not that he'd ever told me, but he was always just that much happier when they bloomed.

"That's just transfiguration," said Zack condescendingly from beside Ernie.

"I know, I haven't done the charm yet," said Elena with her eyebrows raised just a fraction of an inch.

Again she twisted her wrist around, and this time sparkling white shimmers floated out and covered the glass flower.

The glass bowl glowed brightly for a moment, and then dulled. It still shone, hundreds of tiny rainbows danced through it.

"There; now it will sing to you, depending on what you put inside. Most people just use it as a source of entertainment, but I know my cousin uses it to test for poisons," Elena said happily.

"Brilliant!" cried Flitwick, clapping his hands.

Elena bowed her head and did a tiny curtsey.

"Try it!" said Aaron.

"Yes, yes, do go on Miss Holland," said Flitwick.

I hadn't seen him this happy since the time Fred and George Weasley had conjured up a whole herd of sugar mice and let them loose in his classroom.

"Um, okaaay…" she looked around, and beside me Aaron summoned a petal off the roses outside.

"How about this?" he asked, holding up the yellow petal.

"Perfect, thank you," she said, coming over to take it from him.

Coming over wasn't really the right description though, she only walked, but I could have sworn she sort of danced.

She let the petal float down into the bowl, and then the room was filled with a soft sweet music. I couldn't place a single instrument; the sound seemed to be more of a force of nature, an essence of some kind.

"Bravo, bravo!" said the tiny Professor.

A pale pink blossomed in Elena's cheeks, so innocent it was enchanting.

"Easy Ced, you've got girlfriend, remember?" Aaron teased from beside me.

I rolled my eyes and punched his arm.

"Thank you Miss Holland, you may go back to your seat. Now, would everyone please take out their wands; we will quickly revise everything we covered last year, and then it's on to new work!"

Throughout the lesson, the glass lily sang in a tune that reminded me of blooming roses and laughter and joy, and I found it necessary to blink frequently.

More than once, I cast a glance over at the intriguing girl with the glowing aqua eyes.

Elena

I must admit, I had worried that I wouldn't be able to keep up with the classes here, but I found it was fine. They were a little faster paced, but otherwise it was fine. Besides, with Hermione to help me, this was going to be an easy year, at least in terms of school work. Divination had been so boring; I'd taken out my Percy Jackson book and read for the whole lesson. History of Magic had been just as bad, but I'd charmed my earrings to turn Professor Binns' droning voice into a chipmunk's. Goblin and Wizard diplomacy has never seemed so interesting.

I could say that after this last double of DADA, I would have survived my first day at Hogwarts, and pretty well too! Well, at least that's what I thought before I arrived at Professor Umbridge's classroom.

I nearly puked at the sight of her; she had a pink skirt, a pink shawl, a pink jumper, a pink barrette in her hair, pink shoes and sheer-pink stockings. I like pink, but really? The amount she wore just made her look like a flustered piglet. Eventually we all found seats; we sat in the third row, because Hermione wanted to sit in the front of course, but Ron refused and I was sure as hell not sitting in the back, but the second row had already filled up, so it was Ron, Harry, Hermione, and me.

*"Well, good afternoon!" she said in a cheerful and cloying voice.

Since none of the other teachers had waited for a reply, I sat silently, blinking at Professor Umbridge and trying not to give back my lunch.

"Tut, tut," she said. "That won't do, now, will it? I should like you, please, to reply 'Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge'. One more time, please. Good afternoon, class!"

We chanted back to her, and I raised an eyebrow. It's true, we were expected to stand whenever a teacher entered or exited a room, and when they greeted us we replied, but clearly that wasn't how things were done here.

"There, now," she said with a horrible false smile.

Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it-

"That wasn't too difficult, was it?" she continued in that grossly sweet voice of hers.

She said it.

I always hated people that said that. I had never been proven wrong to hate them, so I didn't have many expectations now from the woman.

"Wands away and quills out, please."

There was another thing, she said please almost every other minute.

I sighed, I hated lessons like this. I was good with practical work, not notes and theories.

"Well now, your teaching in this subject has been rather disrupted and fragmented, hasn't it?" stated the little piggy woman, turning to face the class with her hands clasped neatly in front of her. "The constant changing of teachers, many of whom do not seem to have followed any Ministry-approved curriculum,"

Oh good Merlin, she's one of those people; Ministry puppets.

"Has unfortunately resulted in your being far below the standard we would expect to see in your OWL year. You will be pleased to know, however, that these problems are now to be rectified. We will be following a carefully constructed, theory-centred, Ministry-approved course of Defensive magic this year. Copy down the following please."

She rapped the blackboard with her stubby wand, and the course aims appeared.

I didn't write them down; I simply sat in my seat, jaw slack.

I'm screwed. Theory-centred? I'm going to fail my OWL!

Oh, wait, I have Hermione… I'm saved! But this is still going to be the worst subject.

I sighed, and uncorked the bottle of orange ink.

I took my time, lazily looping my writing, making it look especially girly.

"Has everybody got a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?" Professor Umbridge trilled.

"Unfortunately," I muttered, and someone chuckled next to me.

I turned my head to see the cute guy from Charms who had given me the petal.

Well hello there

I smiled at him, he smiled back, but we were rudely interrupted by the pig woman.

"I think we'll try that again," said Umbridge. "When I ask you a question, I should like you to reply. 'Yes, Professor Umbridge', or 'No, Professor Umbridge'. So: has everyone got a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?"

"Yes, Professor Umbridge," rang through the room.

"Good," said the freakishly happy hag. "I should like you to turn to page five and read 'Chapter One, Basics for Beginners'. There will be no need to talk."

She waddled over to her desk at sat staring at us with those tiny little eyes of hers.

I lifted up my book, and read the first sentence.

I think I stared at the same full stop for a whole minute before I realised that I was conscious.

Well, I tried. Guess I'll just have to go back to Percy Jackson…

Quietly, I slid my hand into my book bag, and felt around for the book, not as easy as you'd think, considering I had quite a few things wedged in there.

Parchment… quill… wand… packet of Glitters… ink bottle… glass bottle- I think it's my bubble blower… hang on, how did it get in there? Ah well… Aha!

I slipped out my book, and opened it inside the text book, effectively hiding it.

There was a slight breeze from my side, and looked up to see Hermione staring fixatedly at Professor Umbridge, her hand in the air.

I leaned forward to throw a confused look at Harry, he returned it.

Interesting.

I went back to my book, doing my best not to laugh at Percy's witty line, 'Go chase a doughnut,' classic!

After what seemed like an age, the so called 'teacher' decided that she couldn't ignore Hermione any longer.

"Did you want to ask something about the chapter, dear?" she asked Hermione, as if she only just noticed her.

"Not about the chapter, no."

"Well, we're reading just now. If you have other queries we can deal with them after class."

"I've got a query about your course aims," said Hermione.

You and me both, like; how the hell do we learn to defend ourselves? I thought to myself, looking up from my 'textbook'.

The pig raised her eyebrows.

"And your name is?"

"Hermione Granger."

"Well, Miss Granger, I think the course aims are perfectly clear if you read them through carefully," said Professor Umbridge with determined sweetness.

"Well, I don't," said Hermione bluntly. "There's nothing written up there about using defensive spells."

The rest of the class turned to re-examine the course aims.

"Using defensive spells?" Professor Umbridge repeated with a little girlish laugh. Maybe she was a tad touched in the head.

"Why, I can't image any situation arising in my classroom that would require you to use a defensive spell, Miss Granger. You surely aren't expecting to be attacked during class?"

Okay, maybe she was bashed in the head.

"We're not going to use magic?" Ron exclaimed loudly.

"Students raise their hands when they wish to speak in my class, Mr -?"

"Weasley," said Ron, thrusting his fist in the air.

Professor Umbridge smiled widely, and turned her back on him. I sat bolt upright in my chair.

WHAT?

She now had my full and undivided attention. How dare she turn her back on a student?

Harry and Hermione immediately raised their hands too.

"Yes, Miss Granger? You wanted to ask something else?" she said.

"Yes," said Hermione. "Surely the whole point of Defence Against the Dark Arts is to practise defensive spells?"

"Are you a Ministry-trained educational expert, Miss Granger?"

Oh, No. She. Didn't.

"No, but-"

"Well then, I'm afraid you are not qualified to decided what the 'whole point' of any class is. Wizards much older and cleverer than you have devised our new programme of study."

Oh, she was going to get it. I snapped my books closed, and punched my fist angrily into the air.

"You will be learning about defensive spells in a secure, risk-free way –"

"What's the use in that?" Harry said loudly. "If, we're going to be attacked, it won't be in a –"

"Hand, Mr Potter!" sang Professor Umbridge.

Harry's hand flew into the air, Umbridge promptly turned her back on him, and my jaws slammed together.

Other people had raised their hands by now though, so she couldn't just toddle over to her desk.

"And your name is?" Professor Umbridge said.

"Dean Thomas."

"Well, Mr. Thomas?"

"Well, it's like Harry said, isn't it? If we're going to be attacked, it won't be risk free."

"I repeat," said Professor Umbridge, smiling in the most irritating way possible. "Do you expect to be attacked during my classes?"

"No, but-"

Professor Umbridge spoke loudly over him, drowning his words with that fake honeyed voice, Yeugh.

"I do not wish to criticise the way things have been run in this school, but you have been exposed to some very irresponsible wizards in this class, very irresponsible indeed- not to mention," she gave a nasty little laugh that raised the hairs at the back of my neck, "extremely dangerous half-breeds."

"If you mean Professor Lupin," Dean said angrily, "he was the best we ever-"

"Hand, Mr Thomas! As I was saying- you have been introduced to spells that have been complex, inappropriate to your age group and potentially lethal. You have been frightened into believing that you are likely to meet Dark Attacks every other day –"

"No we haven't," said Hermione, forgetting her hand, "we just-"

"Your hand is not up, Miss Granger!"

Hermione put up her hand and Professor Umbridge turned away.

"It is my understanding that my predecessor not only performed illegal curses in front of you, he actually performed them on you."

"Well, he turned out to be a maniac, didn't he?" Said Dean hotly. "Mind you, we still learnt loads."

"Your hand is not up, Mr Thomas!" Trilled Professor Umbridge.

"Now, it is the view of the Ministry that theoretical knowledge will be more than sufficient to get you through your examination, which, after all, is what school is all about. And your name is?"

"Ernest MacMillan, and isn't there a practical bit in our Defence Against the Dark Arts OWL? Aren't we meant to show that we can actually do the counter-curses and things?"

"As long as you have studied the theory enough, there is no reason why you should not be able to perform the spells under carefully controlled examination conditions," said Professor Umbridge dismissively.

"Without ever practising them beforehand?" said Ernest incredulously. "Are you telling us that the first time we'll get to do the spells will be during our exam?"

"I repeat, as long as you have studied the theory hard enough-"

I finally blew.

"That's BULL!" I screamed at the same time that Harry yelled "And what good's theory in the real world?"

Umbridge ignored me, and glared at Harry.

"This is school Mr Potter, not the real world," she said softly.

"So we're not supposed to be prepared for what's waiting for us out there?"

"There is nothing waiting for you out there, Mr Potter."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Who do you imagine wants to attack children like yourselves?" enquired Professor Umbridge.

"Hmm, let's think . . . " Harry said in a mock thoughtful voice. "Maybe . . . Lord Voldemort?"

Ron gasped; some girl uttered a small scream; Neville slipped sideways off his stool. Professor Umbridge was still staring at Harry, now with a grimly satisfied expression.

"Ten points from Gryffindor, Mr Potter."

The classroom went silent, but I well and truly lost it then.

"WHAT?" I yelled, standing up so suddenly my stool tipped over.

"There will be no shouting in my class, Miss -?"

"Holland, Elena Holland. And why exactly have you just deducted ten points from Gryffindor?" I said.

"Your hand-"

"I don't care that my hand isn't up! Answer the bloody question!"

Umbridge narrowed her beady eyes at me.

"Ten more points from Gryffindor. Now sit down Miss Holland," she said, and before I could tell her that I would sit when I bloody well wanted to, she continued in a low voice.

"Now, let me make a few things quite plain. You have been told that a certain Dark wizard has returned from the dead -"

"He wasn't dead," said Harry angrily, "but yeah, he's returned!"

"Mr-Potter-you-have-already-lost-your-house-ten-points-do-not-make-matters-worse-for-yourself," said Professor Umbridge all in one breath. If you asked me, she breathed too much.

"Now, as I was saying, you have been informed that a certain Dark wizard is at large once again. This is a lie."

"It is NOT a lie!" Harry and I shouted in unisen.

"I saw him, I fought him!" Harry continued.

"Detention, Mr Potter!" said Professor Umbridge triumphantly. "Tomorrow evening. Five o'clock. My office. I repeat-"

"You seem to repeat yourself a lot, the problem is you're either teaching us things we already know, or you're lying to us!" I said loudly.

"Detention Miss Holland! You and Mr Potter will both report to my office at Five o'clock tomorrow evening!"

I opened my mouth but Hermione caught my eye and shook her head sternly. I slowly sank onto my stool, which someone had kindly rebalanced for me, not once taking my eyes from the horrible pink toad in front of me. It wouldn't do to lose my house anymore points, seeing as I'd lost sixty already on my first day, but that didn't mean I wouldn't turn the woman into cockroach if she tried anything.

Professor Umbridge flattened her hair and continued, "As I was saying, this is a lie. The Ministry of Magic guarantees that you are not in danger from any Dark wizard. If you are still worried, by all means come and see me outside class hours. If someone is alarming you with fibs about reborn Dark wizards, I would like to hear about it. I am here to help. I am your friend. And now, you will kindly continue your reading. Page five, 'Basics for Beginners'."

Umbridge sat down at her desk, Harry rose from his seat. Everyone was staring at him; Seamus Finnegan looked half-scared, half-fascinated.

"Harry, no!" Hermione whispered warningly, tugging at the sleeves of his robes, but he jerked his arm away from her.

"So, according to you, Edward Diggory dropped dead of his own accord, did he?" Harry asked, his voice shaking with anger.

The row of Hufflepuff boys next to me stiffened, and the one sitting next to me turned anxiously to the god-like blonde on his right.

You could practically hear everyone's hearts beating faster from the lack of oxygen, as eyes flickered from Harry, to the teacher and back again.

"Edward Diggory's death was a tragic accident," said Professor Umbridge coldly.

"It was murder," said Harry, and I could see his clenched hands shaking. "Voldemort killed him and you know it," he said.

Professor Umbridge's face was quite devoid of any emotion. Then, very softly, in the most puke-worthy sweet voice I'd ever heard, she said, "come here, Mr Potter, dear."

Harry kicked his chair aside, and marched past Ron and Hermione to Professor Umbridge's desk. I watched carefully; I didn't trust this woman, and if she so much as raised her wand, I'd hex her into oblivion, behaviour be damned.

Professor Umbridge pulled out a sheet of pink parchment from her horrible pink handbag, and scribbled with her quill, hunching over so no one could see what she'd written. She rolled it up, tapped it with her wand, and handed it to Harry.

"Take this to Professor McGonagall, dear," said Professor Umbridge, holding the note out to Harry, who took it, spun on his heel and slammed out of the room without so much as a backward glance to the three of us.

"Now, you will all please read page five, 'Basics for Beginners'," said Umbridge. *

**= Circe was a Greek goddess of magic, as is Hecate, who will appear in a similar way sooner or later

* … * = I took this almost directly from page 215 to 222 of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling so it is NOT all my own writing. No copyright infringement is intended, and I do not claim to own any of the characters with the exception of Elena Holland and her family, and her friends from out of school.

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