The Talk With Harry

Chapter Four: Bruce and the Scientific Method.

After his talk with Jane, when he was sure someone was lying to him, Harry went in search of the others. Unfortunately they were in the meeting. Since they covered everything concerning him in the last meeting, Harry was forced to wait.

He pouted as he made his way back to the rec-room and sat himself back at the table. He sighed and grabbed some snacks and turned to watch the television. Little Bear was on, so that made him feel a bit better. He and Pepper loved watching Little Bear together. She would call him that sometimes and claim that he sometimes reminded her of that sweet and curiously adorable little bear.

He ate the chocolate chip cookies and milk that they had left for him(they knew he was coming and knew it was one of his favorites), and watched that silly old bear and his friends. Since he didn't really nap before coming to S.H.I.E.L.D, and the nap in the car wasn't too long, Harry soon grew tired. He laid down on the couch and made himself as comfortable as he could and closed his eyes.

"Just for ten minutes..." Harry promised himself.

.:~*~:.

When Harry opened his eyes again, he had to blink them rapidly to make sure he was seeing correctly. He swore he had fallen asleep on the couch at S.H.I.E.L.D, but now he was in his bed back home. He frowned. How long had be been asleep?

He looked over to the clock on the counter and realized he's been out for nearly two hours. Harry stretched and yawned as he got out of bed. He wiggled his toes and smiled at the feeling of the carpet under his feet. His dad must of tucked him in. Only he remembered that he didn't like sleeping with socks on.

But he went in search for them now that he was awake. Pepper always chided Tony and Harry when he didn't wear socks or slippers. She claimed he'd get a cold. Even though Harry disagreed with her because ever since he started living with his dad, he hasn't gotten sick, he still followed her rules.

When he put on his socks and shoes, he ventured off into the Tower. He wasn't exactly hungry with all the cookies he ate at S.H.I.E.L.D HQ, but he was thirsty. He used the elevator and headed to the common kitchen that everyone used(even though there was one on each floor) and took out a juice box.

He liked the apple they had at S.H.I.E.L.D but his favorite was between pumpkin and pineapple. Harry wondered if it was because they both started with a P. Though why that would be the reason, Harry didn't know.

As he threw away his empty juice box, he saw the message his dad left him on the mini white board that was on the fridge.

'Harry, I'm working on some projects in the garage. I'll see you at dinner. Remember to feed Sully and keep him in your room. Stay out of trouble, have a snack between now and dinner, and remember to call Pepper. She's expecting your call.'

It took Harry a few minutes to read the whole thing correctly. He already knew how to read but his dad's handwriting was...well, Pepper called it chicken scratch, but sometimes Harry thinks a chicken would have better handwriting.

He looked at the closest clock he could find and frowned. He'd have to wait a while to call Pepper. Though his dad did what he wanted, whenever he wanted, Harry knew that not everyone was like that. Pepper did have a life outside of them, and right now Harry knew she was busy.

He was going to go see what toy he could play with in the mean time when he saw Dr. Banner.

"Doctor Banner!" Harry cried.

Bruce tensed but turned with face Harry with a smile.

"Hello there Harry. Have you seen your father? I'm looking for him," Bruce asked as his eyes scanned the area for a way out. They were all told by Thor that he had given Harry the child Asgardian version of the talk. No one really wanted to know why Fury chuckled and Kingsley sighed. An agent delivering some coffee also mentioned that Ms. Foster had also given Harry the talk, which resulted in Santa Claus.

Tony's head had hit the table and he groaned out loud. He told them he couldn't believe everyone was giving his son such bogus answers. That Harry wasn't that stupid and will eventually notice that someone was lying to him.

Natasha had rolled her eyes and asked why didn't he just tell him straight up. Tony paled and just told her she wouldn't understand. But they had been warned...the cute and adorable little Harry Stark was in the search of answers and seems very adamant about getting the right one.

"He's in the garage working on some projects. He's going to be there awhile," Harry answered.

"Right. Well, I guess I'll just go back to my room. I'll see you at dinner, okay?" Bruce said as he tried to leave.

"Wait!" Harry cried.

"Um...yes?" though he cringed because he could already guess what was coming.

"I have a question," Harry said with a bright smile.

Bruce mentally sighed, "Is it the same one you asked Thor?"

Harry shook his head, "No. It's different."

Bruce let out a sigh of relief and smiled, "Okay then. What is it?"

He was really thankful for dodging the bullet. He rarely dealt with children and normally he was treating their wounds or diseases. Somehow that's easier than this.

"How do men place babies in women?" Harry asked.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Well?" Harry pressed.

Bruce was blushing extensively, sweat was building up, and all forms of thoughts just ceased.

"Are you okay Doctor Banner?" Harry asked as he noticed Bruce's conditions.

"Um..uh...why...how...how did you come to that conclusion?" Bruce asked.

"Well, no one was answering my question correctly. So while everyone was busy, I started thinking. I tried to figure it out. And you know what Sherlock Holmes said, 'Once you remove the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.'"

"Yes, I'm familiar with the great detective," was all Bruce could say without stuttering.

"Well I thought about all I knew about babies. When a baby is in the tummy it's called being pregnant. But I've never seen a pregnant man, so that means that only women can get pregnant, right?" Harry asked.

Bruce just nodded.

"But even though all the stories I've heard of where babies come from are different, they have the same detail. It takes a mommy and a daddy to make a baby. So if it's the lady who carries the baby in her tummy, then doesn't that mean it's the man who puts the baby in there?" Harry asked innocently.

Bruce was a huge fan of Sherlock Holmes. After reading the works of the famous detective he learned to be more observant. It was those observations that helped him from being caught when he was on the run. He never thought the great detective would betray him like this.

"Well?" Harry asked a bit impatiently.

"Uh..."

He knows how persistent Harry can be. If it was something Tony had gone great lengths to do, was to teach his son to want things and to never stop until he got them. He couldn't just convince him he wasn't the right person to ask, since others have already tried and Harry hadn't been too happy with their answers. No matter how hard he tried, he knew how impossible it would be to get Tony out of the garage now.

The only thing that would get him out now was if Harry was in danger, but he wasn't. Tony also knew Harry was in the search for answers and was hiding from his own son.

Bruce would find it a bit more humorous that Earth's Mightiest Heroes were reduced to this, had he not been the one in front of the gun right now.

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, "Go wait on the couch. I'm going to get a book."

Harry smiled and ran to seat himself comfortably on the couch.

Bruce knew it would eventually be his turn to talk to Harry; with the look Tony had given him at the meeting, he was surprised he hadn't been forced to be the first. So in preparation for the eventual conversation, he managed to scrounge up his old high school (college for everyone else) anatomy book.

He sat Harry down, turned to the chapter on reproduction and started to read aloud. He made sure not to look up, he didn't want Harry to ask ANY questions...this was embarrassing enough; and, really, the book clearly explained it all. Too bad he forgot poor Harry was only eight.

"...and that's where babies come from." Bruce said while closing the book.

He finally looked up at Harry to see the child looking at him with a blank look on his face.

'Poor kid's probably too embarrassed to ask any questions.' Bruce thought.

He patted Harry on the knee, stood up, and walked out the door. The unfortunate eight-year-old just sat there with glazed eyes and anatomical terms swimming in his head. Now he was more confused than ever!

"Okay...Now I have to find someone to explain all of that to me, but who won't use too many big words."

Thanks again to DustBunnyQueen.

Plotting these out with you is hilarious! Seriously, I very much enjoy writing these XD
I'm not too sure how many kids would actually reason it out like Harry, but...yeah.

Oh and yes I know that in the age that Harry is currently living in he could simply ask Jarvis or google it himself. But if he did that, you wouldn't be able to read the hilarious uncomfortable scenarios this little 8 year old puts the earth's strongest and smartest heroes.