Authors Note: Ok. If you've made it this far, you have no choice but to love this chapter with every fiber of your being. Seriously this thing has just refused to end. Big thanks to everyone that reviewed either of my stories so far. If you cant tell from my characterizations of Matt, I'm a giant narcissist and need them for sustenance. A big thanks to a good friend who pushed me to finish this thing, you know who you are, thanks.
And so without further delay. Enjoy.
Chapter 4 - My friends and I
"So," Sora asked Kari as she latched her seatbelt. "How was the call with your advisor?" Sora pulled away from the curb, ignoring the horns of the cars behind her.
Kari cringed as Sora weaved her way through traffic, narrowly avoiding any car that dared to be in her way. As inconspicuously as she could, Kari grabbed the passenger grip handle and answered with as even a tone as she could muster, "Well…just…finalizing my schedule…I just turned in the form for my independent study with professor Kato. I just wanted to make sure…it was approved."
"It was approved right?" Sora asked still weaving through traffic like an all world striker through the defense of your little sister's rec league team.
"Of course it was." Kari answered through clenched teeth.
"He was your photo instructor last semester right?"
"Yeah he really forced me to follow through with my concepts and not worry about everything just looking pretty."
"Hmmm…is he handsome?" Sora asked with a grin.
"What!? I really don't think that matters at.."
"Relax. I wasn't asking for you. I was asking for another friend of mine. She's beautiful but she's been hung up on this guy who just isn't available at the moment."
"Is it Ayumi? Is she still pining away for that guy from America?"
Sora turned to Kari with an incredulous look on her face. "Uhhh…Yeah. Totally Ayumi." Kari failed to notice Sora's expression as she was too busy watching the traffic and slamming on her invisible brakes.
As they approached the mall the traffic, thankfully, began to increase, and Kari was finally able to relax a bit. Sora, on the other hand, was finding it harder and harder to contain her frustration. Sora could be the sweetest girl, she'd long been viewed as the "mother" of the group, but her rage burned brighter than a million suns. The distance between the two phases of her personality is commonly referred to as, 'The eighth wonder of the world'.
Luckily for Kari, and all those within Sora's gravitational field, a parking spot was very easy to come by.
"So?" Sora asked, making their way across the parking lot, "Where shall we begin?"
"I need to replace my black dress pants, and I kind of want to get a new pair of ankle high oxfords. So I'm pretty flexible right now." Kari made her list known so Sora wouldn't take over the day.
As the automatic doors of the mall rushed open, they felt a drastic temperature change. The city was going through a sort of heat wave, so the cool air was very much welcomed.
"Okay. How about… Man it feels good in here." Sora stood still momentarily, basking in the glory of the mall's air conditioning. "Yeah, How about we scout the area, and then make all purchases in one fell swoop?"
"Sure. I'm not in any rush." Kari agreed, shrugging her shoulders slightly as they make their way into the first shop they see.
In this moment, Matt existed as nothing more than a couch weight. And that was more than alright with him. He couldn't be sure which had taken more out of him, the tour, or the drinking. There was some dancing last night as well, he vaguely remembers, but everything after that is mostly a blur.
He couldn't even remember how Tai had managed to get him out of the house.
It didn't matter. The only important thing was the current bond between Matt and his sofa. It was normally hard as stone, but it felt as if the sofa was enveloping him like a child in utero. There was no way in hell he was getting up for anything.
"Matt!" A voice yelled from the entrance of his apartment, followed by a steady stream of heavy handed knocks on his door.
"Matt I know you're there, open the door…Seriously Matt open the door." The threats streamed in between the pounding on the door.
"MATT!" the voice yelled as Matt slowly pulled himself off the couch. In Matt's weary state he couldn't quite make out who the voice belonged to, but he could tell they were mad.
Matt barely had time to unlatch the deadbolt before the door swung open, pushing him back and almost knocking him over.
"What the hell man? Your phone is finally on, and now you refuse to answer it? I've been calling you all day, and mom's been worried sick! Whoa man you look like shit. You alright?"
"I'm..."
"It's so good to see you" Tk interrupted, throwing his arms around his brother's shoulders. "I've missed you man." Tk held Matt out at a distance with a grin on his face ear to ear. "Ok, you get dressed and I'll drive." Tk clapped his hands together and stared back at Matt, who sat still with a blank expression on his face.
"What are you.." Matt began.
"Oh! You should probably wash up real quick too. Mom will only worry more if you show up looking like you haven't slept in a few days and smell like whiskey."
"Umm."
"Come on man, she's waiting."
"O….K?" Matt questioned. Still confused as to what exactly was going on. Still, he made his way to the bathroom to get cleaned up.
"How is your mom doing?" Kari asked thumbing her way through a stack of folded jeans, then pulling out a pair and inspecting them against herself.
"She's alright." Sora said looking over Kari's shoulder, before moving on looking aimlessly around. "Still doing her thing. I think she's been a little lonely since I moved out, but she's good."
"I'm glad. My parents were so excited when Tai moved out. You would've thought they'd just been married with the smiles on their faces." Kari paused to face Sora. "Of course, now they won't leave me alone about when I'm moving out." Sora laughed as Kari feigned a pained face. "Really! My parents can't wait to get rid of me, they're so cruel."
"Awww, they love you. They just need some space. Besides, once school starts it's not like you'll ever see them anyways."
"I really can't wait. Having a life has really been getting to me."
"Seriously! Spending so much time with Tai has been a drag."
"It's much nicer only having to deal with him in small amounts. And not having to live in his filth has been pretty nice as well."
Sora's shoulders slouched and her gaze fell to the floor. "Yeah, that's definitely an uphill battle I'm losing." She sighed, "Someday he'll figure it out. I'm sure of it."
Kari refolded the pants she was holding and joined Sora by a rack of discounted dress shirts.
"Ready to go?"
"Just give me another minute!" Matt returned his attention to his reflection. He gently ran the comb through his hair, parting it to his right slightly. He set his hands on the counter, and brought himself in to the mirror, inspecting his appearance one last time.
He had shaved, and fixed his hair, but his eyes were still bloodshot and there was nothing he could do about the suitcases under his eyes. With a final deep breath he wished himself luck and made his way out to his patient audience.
"Anyone awake?" Matt looked around the van to find the rest of the band members fast asleep.
He dropped his shopping bag filled with various energy drinks on the floor next to his seat and grabbed the day old cup of Starbucks coffee. Whose it is was he'll never know, but he chugged the last remaining bit anyway. His gag reflex told him that was probably not a good idea. 'I needed an open cup holder' he explained to himself. He inhaled a deep yawn he rubbed his eyes with his palms, before stretching his arms and back, working up the courage to begin the next leg of the drive.
"Wake up driving buddy!" Matt said throwing an energy drink into the slumbering Akira's lap. The can hit his leg then promptly rolled onto the ground.
Matt stared blankly, 'Must be nice' he thought to himself. With a sigh, he climbed into the van gently closing the door.
Cramped up in a van, like so many of the bands he idolized, he was slowly making his way across the country on a 10 city tour spread out over 12 days. He'd played earlier in the night in Salt Lake City, Utah, the fourth show of their first American tour, and was now looking at an 8 hour drive to Denver, Colorado. At one o'clock in the morning, this was not going to be the most delightful trip he'd ever taken. Seeing as how Yutaka, bundled in the back with his face awkwardly pressed against the window, was currently suffering from, what appeared to be, the flu; that left Matt as the only member who was legally allowed to drive.
Buoyed by the bright lights of the cars behind him, Matt floats down the highway, at what he assumes must almost be warp speed. To the other cars on the road it doesn't seem to be the case, but the van was struggling to hold together so the only logical conclusion he could come to must be…that he's delusionally tired. And he would really appreciate it if they would shut the bathroom door; the light is keeping him awake.
Matt's eyes flickered open and close, his head slowly falling before popping back to attention. This pattern continued before finally his eyes closed and settled in to sleep. The Van continued straight ahead for a moment before drifting to off to the right. Farther and farther it went until crossing onto the rumble strips. Matt slowly came to and, in a bit of desperation, pulled the steering wheel hard to the left. The van darted across into the neighboring lane, too far. Panic overtook him. Slamming on the brakes, he pulled back to the right. He could feel the weight from the back of the van slowly making its way around to the front and time slowing to a crawl. Nothing flashed before his eyes or ran through his head. He felt as if he had somehow left his body and watched the horror carved on his face. He could see the rear of the van whipping around, pulling them off the road, into the embankment, and finally to rest with the passenger side barely a foot away from the guard rails.
"I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier." TK offered, buckling his seatbelt. "It's not like you to fall of the earth like that."
Matt gently rested his head against the window. "I know Teeks. I'm not really feeling myself lately."
"Why's that?"
"I don't know. Everything seems the same but, it feels so much more imposing now. And everything I've cared about for so long, just doesn't seem to matter."
"Ouch." Tk smiled, eyes fixed on the road ahead.
"Shut up. You know what I mean." Matt never lifting his head rested against the passenger window.
"You're just a little burned out, no need to get so worked up about it." Tk glanced over, trying to catch Matt's attention. "Just take a moment to relax. Unwind a bit. I'm sure you'll feel good as new in a few days."
"Yeah…..maybe."
Tk watched Matt sit unmoving in his seat. Tk's smile slowly faded.
"You shouldn't worry man. If I'm wrong, you could always move to Nagano and open that farm you've talked about." Tk watched Matt slowly turn his head to face him.
"When did I ever say anything like that? WHY would I say anything like that?"
Tk's grin returned at the sight of the severely confused Matt.
"When we went to moms for dinner, shortly after our first series of adventures, you were telling her how there were so many nights that you missed the digital world. The crisp air and open spaces, where we were able to run around and have a blast. Mom said it sounded like when she used to visit her grandparents farm in Nagano. And after being regaled with a few stories of her childhood, you said 'maybe I should live on a farm in Nagano."
Matt blinked, and then furrowed his brow deep in concentration. "I'm pretty sure you're just making that up."
"Why would I make that up?"
"Why would anyone lie about anything? I just know you aren't telling me the truth." Kari leaned closer to Sora. "There is no way that that brother of mine turned down an offer to eat at Yukimura to study for a midterm. He missed my uncle's funeral because his soccer coach offered to pay for his meal."
"Look, I know your brother has a long and storied history of being an idiot, but I swear it's true." Sora took a sip of her water while Kari further processed what she'd just been told. "Really you would be so proud of him. He's even talked about maybe going to law school after he graduates." Kari began choking on her water, and Sora softly rubbed her back in support.
"Tai didn't say that." Kari shook her head. "I know you think I'm gullible, but you are too obvious now. Honestly, I'm actually a little insulted that you think so little of me."
Sorry, but the studying really happened. And you should be proud of him. You should also tell him he's going to lose me if he doesn't start cleaning up after himself." Kari burst into laughter Sora soon joining the chorus.
"Alright let's get out of here. The French fry smell is making me nauseous." The two of them quickly bused their table and made their way back into the mall.
"So what did you and Matt do after we went to bed?" Sora asked trying not to look at Kari too inquisitively.
"Nothing. He was probably asleep before the two of you he was so drunk."
"Huh." Sora tried to glean if Kari was telling the truth; she didn't seem to be hiding anything. Kari was one of the worst liars Sora knew, it was a trait she shared with her brother.
"You and Tai have any big plans left for the break?"
"Not really. Once your parents get back, we'd like to go out to dinner together, but after that we'll probably head back home and settle in before the semester starts." Sora shrugged her shoulders and a short silence fell between them.
"That sounds kinda boring." Kari deadpanned.
"This is soo boring." Tai said aloud to himself, shutting off the TV. His arms dropped on the couch matching the rest of his body sprawled out. 'I wonder what everyone else is up to.'
"Awwwww." Natsuko Takaishi moaned as she found her two sons waiting at her door. "Matty it's so good to see you!" She greeted each son with a kiss on the cheek and a quick hug. "Come in, come in." She ushered the boys inside unable to tame the smile on her face. "Something to drink?"
"I'm okay, thank you." Matt replied taking a seat on the couch. Tk detouring through the kitchen.
"I got it."
"You had us worried you know." Natsuko said, taking the seat next to Matt. "What happened to checking in as much as possible?"
Instinctively Matt rolled his eyes, "I did Mom. It's hard to call you without a phone."
"What happened to your phone?"
"Nothing, mom, it was stolen." Matt said, still not making eye contact with his mother.
"You mean you lost it." Tk chided making his way to the chair adjacent.
"Shut up, you don't know."
Natsuko jumped to her feet. "Yamato do not talk to your brother that way. Takeru leave your brother alone, he just got home. He's probably exhausted."
Both Matt and Tk's faces fell blank. They looked to each other; both seemed to be asking the other to clarify what was happening. As they turned to Natsuko, the stern look on her face softening in the silence, everything became clear.
They erupted in a fit of laughter. The sound pushing the awkward silence out of the apartment, leaving only the confused expression with their mother.
"What am I missing?" Natsuko asked, though sounding as if she maybe didn't want to know.
"Mom, we aren't seven. This is just how we talk to each other. Besides, Matt knows I could beat him up any day." Tk offered, after regain his composure.
"Ye…yeah." Matt struggled though a few aftershocks. "It's true. Just like he knows that while he toils away in high school, I'm rich and famous. He's the brother of 'that guy in the TEEN-AGE WOLVES'."
"He's also too vain to care what I have to say about him."
"He's right. I really, really don't care."
Their mother stared between them, unable to properly process whatever was going on.
"This is your father's fault. I always worried something like this would happen." She dropped her head into her hands.
The smiles on the boy's faces grew larger.
"Don't worry, I tell everyone it's his fault too."
"Well, of course it is." Sora yelled. "You guys would've been the cutest couple in the history of cute couples." Sora watched Kari's face turn a gentle hue of red. "I thought you guys would be like Jon Bon Jovi and his wife. You know?"
The confusion quickly wiped the embarrassment from Kari's face. "What?"
"Jon Bon Jovi. You know from Bon Jovi. The band." Sora's explanation did nothing to help Kari understand. "The band, Bon Jovi. They sang that 'Have a Nice Day' song. It was kind of popular. My mom really likes them. When she was younger she used to… Never mind, it's not important. What's also not important is that he and his wife were high school sweethearts. So, that's where I was going with that."
"Ok." Kari clearly didn't care.
"Are they still together?"
"No, they were only together a month or so." Kari's stoic response made Sora uncomfortable.
"Oh, that's good." Sora looked over her receipt still trying to figure out how her pre-register estimate had been short $10. She didn't mean to sound callous, she didn't wish either of them ill, and she really had no reason to. "How's he doing? I haven't seen him in a while."
Kari wondered. When was the last time they'd seen each other? After his relationship ended, they'd met for a cup of coffee. But it's been a few weeks since, and their conversation had been nothing but pleasantries. Not that Kari minded, though they were still friendly, it was still a bit awkward to talk to him. To be honest, it killed her that she allowed this to come between her and her best friend. It wasn't as if he deceived her, lead her on or anything like that. He had a feeling about a girl and, as a man with no obligations to another woman, acted on it. She wanted him to be happy; she had just wanted to be the one to make it happen.
Sora, watching Kari's face sink, decided it would be best to interrupt her friend's thoughts.
"I'll just ask Matt."
"Ask me what?" Matt craned his neck, looking to his brother now standing in the doorway.
"Mom wants to know if you're staying for dinner." Tk knew he wouldn't be able to say no. He also enjoyed watching him sway back and forth between options, heavily weighing each one back and forth, forth and back. Ultimately he relented.
"Yeah…" he sounded almost defeated. "…as long as she doesn't mind me taking a quick nap before."
"You can sleep in your brother's bed!" their mother yelled from the kitchen.
The smile on Tk's face dried out. Without a glance to his brother, he retreated into the kitchen to confront his mother. "What?! I just washed the comforter and sheets yesterday do you…." Tk's voice faded, and Matt walked to his brother's room.
Tk's room was bright; the two lamps in addition to the overhead light made him feel like he was in the narrator's room from the invisible man, and barely furnished. There was nothing but a bed, a desk and a short bookcase that didn't hold many books. The faint scent of cologne (Calvin Klein Brit perhaps?) lingered about. It'd been a while since matt had been here; it was almost as if he was seeing it for the first time.
He sat on the bed, slowly draping himself along the bed like…like…. Before he could finish thinking how comfortable the bed was, he was asleep.
"So what's next?"
"Dinner sounds good to me." Sora replied. "Italian?"
"No... Well yes, but I mean with you and Tai?" Sometimes Kari believed these two were soul mates. Sometimes she couldn't figure out why Sora bothered with him. She was too big a catch to be had by her brother.
"What? What do you mean? Like after break? Because I told..."
"No I mean like what happens with you guys next? With your relationship. Like...what's the next step?"
Sora was unsure of how to respond to the younger Kamiya.
"How would I know?" was all she could muster.
"Don't you ever think about it?"
"Not really. We're busy people Kari. There'll be plenty of time for those thoughts after college. Right now, we just enjoy being around each other."
Kari stared silently out the window watching the street lights pass by.
"Kari. It's best if you don't get yourself worked up over things like that. I don't know what's going to happen, and that's perfectly fine with me. Right now, I love your brother and he loves me. That's all I need."
"Well, then, what happens when what you have isn't enough anymore?"
"I guess I'll just have to hope that when it happens, it's no longer enough for him as well."
"And if it isn't?"
"Kari! I'll figure it out if that ever happens." Sora hadn't meant to yell at her like that.
A long silence fell over the car. It made Kari feel particularly vulnerable. She hated the uncertain and the unknown, though she was jealous of Sora's laissez faire approach to her relationship.
"Want to go to the place we went to for Mimi's birthday." Sora broke the silence.
"Sure." Kari muttered.
"Kari...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you." Sora apologized. She knew Kari was more sensitive than most and usually tried to keep that in mind. "What's bothering you?"
"Do you think it was my fault?"
"What? With Tk?"
"Yeah. Do you..."
Kari no... Just... No. You can only ever do what feels rights to you. If you weren't willing to risk losing your best friend, then you did what you thought was right. Though if you weren't going to take that chance you should've expected that someone would, and you probably already know, but there's more than one way to lose a friend
Yeah, well...what would you have done differently?"
"I don't know Kari. I probably would have taken the chance to tell him how I feel."
"But…" Kari started
"Kari, I know what you're going to say. But please remember, you can't control how people feel. You know? People change their minds all the time, so sometimes you just have to make a decision that you think would make you happiest. Don't be afraid to be selfish sometimes, you are the only person you should count on to make you happy."
"I can't be happy when I'm hurting the people I care about."
"Kari... I keep telling you, you can't control how people feel or react. You also can make every decision living in fear of how everyone else feels. What if, after all the time we'd been friends, I didn't feel the same way your brother did when he asked me out? We'd be in the same situation you're in. But I'd say it was worth the risk." Sora returned her gaze to the road. "He might also been a little too boneheaded to think that'd even be a possibility."
"Hahahaha. That, sadly, is probably true."
"Your brother isn't what I'd call selfish. A glutton? Yes. But he is a very giving, and thoughtful person." A slight smile crept across her face. "But he also isn't afraid to go after the things he wants. You shouldn't be either."
"Look, I love my brother, more than you know, but he's also reckless and clueless. Sometimes it's an endearing quality of his, but it doesn't change the fact that he rushes into things. He's been fortunate enough so far, but sometimes the tides turn quicker than you anticipate."
"Whoa. When did you become so dark?"
"I'm sorry. I...I'm just a little tired."
"I'm just trying to tell you that if you know how you feel about someone, don't be afraid to let them know how you feel."
"Thanks Sora."
"No problem. Now let's get you something to eat, and get you to bed before you kill yourself."
"Wow, and you thought I was dark."
"Everyone has their moments."