A/N: I do not own Ouran or any of its characters. Sadly.
I also take no claim to the iPhone; all the credit for that little masterpiece goes to Apple.
Mei looked unruffled, but she was mentally running through her checklist. If she forgot anything, the plan would probably fall apart at a miraculous speed. If it worked, Mei and the Hitachiins would have finally set up their infamously single friends. If it failed miserably, they would probably have to leave the country.
Haruhi was prepared for the worst, walking into the colossal room. She hated parties, and that was what she expected. Either a party or a dance of some sort, with dim lights and extraordinarily loud music. Mei and the Hitachiins had anticipated an atmosphere similar to that of a nightclub – a chaotic atmosphere where they could carry out their mission without getting caught. Of course, what they pictured was not even close to feasible, let alone near the real situation. Nobody was prepared for the scene behind the ornately carved doors.
What appeared to be the world's largest awkward office party was happening. There was some light classical music playing in the background, and nobody was dancing. Instead, little knots of people were huddled near the edges of the room and around the conveniently placed water coolers. The burble of conversation was quiet – apparently nobody wanted to talk at a decibel level louder than 'indoor volume'. Everybody was wearing pretty much the same clothing as earlier – pinstripes and slacks were everywhere, grays and black abounded, and the brightest color anyone was wearing was a pastel blue so light it was practically white.
Haruhi couldn't have stood out more if she'd tried. Between the color of her dress and the fact that it was waaay too upscale for the party, she stuck out. While this would be a very nice asset in getting Kyoya to notice Haruhi, it also attracted plenty of glances from jealous girls. And if some girl tried to mess this up because she wished she looked like Haruhi, Mei would probably kill her.
Mei was frantic. Something had already gone wrong and she couldn't see Kyoya. Where is he?!?! Add that to the fact that Kaoru and Hikaru were nowhere to be found, and she was about to call the plan off if something didn't go right. She didn't actually find him, however. Haruhi did.
Once Haruhi was able to register any thoughts other than Holy cow, everybody is staring at me, she saw Kyoya. Unlike the majority, he had changed from his stiff professional attire into something a little more casual. And Haruhi couldn't stop staring.
He was wearing a black silk shirt over another silk shirt, this one in the same shade of emerald green as Haruhi's dress. Slim, nondescript black pants completed the outfit. His hair was freshly washed, and Haruhi had never seen anybody look nearly as attractive as him before.
"Do you want to – oh!" Mei was going to ask Haruhi if she wanted to ditch, but then she noticed the direction of Haruhi's gaze, and took her comment in another direction. "I need to ask the twins about tomorrow. It won't take very long, I promise."
"Sure." was the only reply Haruhi could come up with. When they got closer, Haruhi saw that Kyoya looked extremely annoyed, and his anger appeared to be directed at the twins.
"Why did you think that this would be appropriate clothing? I look ridiculous, and you both are dressed the same as everyone else."
"Technically, we are dressed like you, Kyoya. The colors are just different." Hikaru stated, completely unconcerned with Kyoya's anger. And what he said was true, after all. They were wearing silk shirts too – the fabric didn't have the sheen that Kyoya's did - and while he had that vibrant green sticking out of his shirt, the twins were wearing muted shades of gray. Kyoya knew that he'd been duped, but what could he do?
That explains why they were in the upstairs hall. They'd gone to change out of the outfits they'd planned, and didn't tell me to change. She was going to get them for this, later. As for right now, improvisation to their scheme was desperately needed.
"Hey, Mei. Is this the Haruhi you've told us about?" Kaoru asked. Or maybe it was Hikaru. Haruhi couldn't keep them straight. She probably could have on a normal day, but she was exhausted. And little did she know that her day was far from over.
"Yup! Haruhi, Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin. Hikaru and Kaoru, Haruhi Fujioka." Instead of shaking Haruhi's proffered hand, they walked over and slung their arms around her shoulders.
"Nice to meet you, Haruhi." This was the first step – make sure Haruhi was utterly uncomfortable around the twins. If she didn't want to be near them, and Mei hung around them the entire night, then she would talk to Kyoya. According to the combined logic of Mei and the twins, anyway.
"Love the dress. Gorgeous color. Mei, is this your work I see here?" the other inquired. "Because if it is, you've truly outdone yourself."
"It's an original. Hikaru, Kaoru, if you guys can pull yourselves away from Haruhi for a sec, I need to ask you a couple of things about tomorrow." She then addressed Haruhi and Kyoya, "I'm helping out with their movie. If you'll excuse us?" Mei and the twins stepped a couple of feet away and began speaking animatedly.
And then there were two.
"You know, I never got the chance to ask – what categories are you entered in?" Haruhi actually did want to know this – she had never really believed in 'small talk'. It was pointless; why chatter incessantly about nothing when you could just get to the point?
"I'm not officially entered in any event. I lost a bet with Hikaru and Kaoru a couple of months ago and they are making me star in their atrocious film. It was that or….never mind. Needless to say, starring in this monstrosity and lugging all of their film equipment is the lesser of two evils." Kyoya spoke about his duties with contempt, which was off – it wasn't that bad, after all. There's probably something more, though. The twins seem too devious to do something that simple.
"What is this 'atrocious film' about? And is it for on demand or just film?" On-demand films had to be made on-site (at the conference) and had to be completed in under thirty six hours. Regular film meant that it could be finished before one set foot in the hotel. Typically, the on-demand films were hastily thrown together and the kids creating the movies didn't sleep during the day and a half time allotted. Some of the stuff they accidentally left in could be pretty funny; three years back one poor team mistakenly put an awkward conversation in as the sound overlay instead of the music they had intended. Four of the girls on the team had held a tell-all about their love lives. While the kids couldn't bear to watch it, everybody else found it funny. It had gone viral in under three hours.
"It's an on-demand. And seeing as this year's theme is Japanese history, they are making, in their words, 'an epic samurai action-thriller'. How they are going to pull this off in the Peninsula and in less than thirty six hours, I have no clue." Haruhi couldn't help it – she started laughing. She knew it was rude, but really? Stoic Kyoya as a samurai?
"S-sorry," she managed to say choke out, "but I really can't picture it."
"Neither can I, really." Kyoya snickered. Haruhi took a deep breath to calm herself down, and when she looked up at him, he was smiled at her. When he smiled, his face lit up and he looked completely different.
"You really should smile more, Kyoya." Haruhi couldn't believe she had said that, but what could she do now? For once, her prayers were answered. Mei and the twins came back not a moment too soon.
"Now that we've got that all sorted out, what should we do? This is quieter than some funerals I've been to." Haruhi was pretty sure that was Hikaru talking – he seemed like the more abrupt of the two.
"Let's ditch. We'll find somewhere to go once this atmosphere of despair and cheap shoes isn't repressing my brain functions any longer." The twins were being so frank, but it was true.
Haruhi wasn't averse to the idea – she hated the stares. The vibrant green of her dress was flickering at the edge of people's eyes; they'd turn to look and often would gape open-mouthed at her for 10-15 seconds before reluctantly returning to their dull conversations. Being stuck at the mixer (which, it turns out, wasn't supposed to be like this. It was intended to be fun and lively, but no one wanted to dance. Hence the office atmosphere) was the last thing she wanted. Especially for another 3 hours. Ick. Kyoya was more astute than Haruhi, however, and had some suspicions.
"Where are we goi-" The twins wouldn't let him finish.
"Yes or no, Kyoya. Just give us a yes or no. No questions; just answer." They definitely were used to dealing with Kyoya. It was pretty funny to see them shut him up. He seemed like the kind of guy who wouldn't put up with them, but apparently he contained multitudes.
"Fine. I'll agree to this. We need to hurry, however. And it's not my fault if you guys get us all kicked out." Kyoya was right – leaving the hotel was tantamount to begging for disqualification. Really, leaving was just asking for it.
"Mei, if we get caught…"
"Relax, Haruhi. Between Hikaru, Kaoru, and I, nobody will know we've left. Now come on!" Haruhi, seeing that she had no choice, participated in the plotting session that was commencing.
"If we leave together out that side door, Mei can use the service entrance. It will probably be empty this time of night."
"Then Haruhi and Kyoya can slip through the back fire exit after we disable the alarm. It looks pretty simplistic, so we could be out of here in as little as five minutes."
"Golden. Now, excuses." The exchange between Mei and the twins was rapid-fire and Haruhi couldn't say a thing. She looked at Kyoya for help in escaping whatever Mei and the twins were concocting; he merely raised an eyebrow. She glared at him, and he just smirked. Helpful.
"We can say Hikaru's having an allergic reaction and I'm helping him get to the doctor." Kaoru said.
"Someone could have stolen Haruhi's purse and Kyoya's helping her nab the thief." Mei interjected.
"Perfect! As for you, Mei, how about your cat died?" Hikaru suggested gleefully.
"…and you need to help your mother cope?" Kaoru added.
"Weird, but I'll take it. I'm sick of the tampon run excuse. It's getting old." So they've done this before?
"Okay, everyone got it? We'll meet up at Seventh and East in twenty minutes. If you get lost, look for the giant ad of a lingerie model. The intersection's right below it." Of course, the twins picked a board with a model on it. They are such perverts. Then again, they're guys.
"We should exchange numbers in case someone gets lost. I doubt anyone will, but just in case. Haruhi, give me your phone. Mei, switch with Kyoya, and when he's finished with your phone, hand it to me."
Phones were exchanged and numbers were inputted. Two red keyboard phones changed hands with a bejeweled flip phone, an immaculate iPhone, and Haruhi's cracked phone.
"See you on the other side!" And with her clichéd parting words, Mei walked away and melted seamlessly into the crowd of gray.
"Now remember – if our fix doesn't work, you'll have some serious problems. Once you open the door, the alarm will be triggered and in ten seconds the alarm will ring. If this happens, run like hell and pray nobody follows you. Got it?" Hikaru left without waiting for a reply. Haruhi and Kyoya watched as the twins sauntered towards the fire exit, disappeared behind a large plastic plant for no longer than thirty seconds, and then reappeared with smug grins. Hikaru nodded at them, and then they were gone.
"All set?" Haruhi asked; when Kyoya didn't respond, she looked up at him, and his face was calculating. He was obviously deep in thought. She stood on her toes and waved her hand in his face to get his attention. "Kyoya? You okay?"
"I'm fine. Just thinking. Want to leave?"
"Yeah. The sooner we get back, the better I'll feel." Haruhi couldn't figure out how she got roped into this insanity, and just wanted it to be over so that she could get some much-needed sleep. They started walking to the fire exit.
"Nervous about getting caught?"Kyoya asked. "Don't worry about it. Even if we do get caught, we have the Hitachiin's foolproof excuse that anybody in their right mind will certainly believe." Haruhi started to reply, then yawned.
"Bored with me already?" He sounded amused.
"No. I haven't slept since Thursday night, and now it's Saturday."
"And you haven't slept because…?"
"I've been putting the finishing touches on my project. Whoa."
They had finally reached the fire exit. Luckily, the plastic fichus concealed both the exit and them.
They took in the glorious destruction of the fire alarm console. Instead of simply snipping the wire, Hikaru and Kaoru thought it would be funny to melt the outer shell of the box with a cigarette lighter. How they did this was something even Kyoya would never figure out. Once they had cracked open the outside, they had pulled every wire in the box out and tangled them hopelessly. Naturally, the only wire they needed to cut wasn't even in the box. It was the A/V cable that led to the siren and also to the security cameras. Unlike the messily deconstructed box, this cord was neatly snipped.
They both reached for the door handle simultaneously. Haruhi flinched, but Kyoya kept his hand on top of hers.
"On three. One," Haruhi took a deep breath. If the Hitachiins had screwed this up, then they would be in so much trouble it was ridiculous. "Two…three!" They rushed out of the door, slammed it, then got ready to run. They waited as the determining ten seconds passed.
"Guess the Hitachiins came through." Kyoya commented. Haruhi just let out the breath she didn't know she was holding.
They were in the alley between the hotel and the office building adjacent to it. While the alley was repulsive, covered in garbage, etc., the sunset was breathtaking. The entire sky was deep orange with streaks of red and gold.
The color was striking against the Tokyo skyline, as the glass of skyscraper windows reflected the color, setting the city aglow temporarily. When Haruhi looked at this, she saw something beautiful. Kyoya saw the businesses he would run someday.
"Hey Kyoya. We should probably get going. If I stay here any longer, I'm going to fall asleep." Haruhi felt…weird, standing so close to Kyoya in the dark. It's just the sleep deprivation. I'm so worn out that I can barely stand.
"I meant to give you this earlier, but I got distracted by the fire alarm." He tossed Haruhi a little red bottle. "They're absolutely awful tasting, but it helps." The label proclaimed 'EIGHT HOUR ENERGY' in large lettering. In a smaller font, it said to 'DRINK SPARINGLY'.
"Thank you, Kyoya." Haruhi unscrewed the cap and choked down the contents. He was right; it tasted like chalk shot through with straight caffeine. Now that she thought about it, that was probably what it was made of.
"No problem. It'll start working in ten minutes or so. Let's go." Haruhi started walking and promptly tripped on some garbage.
"Careful." Kyoya caught her arm. "Don't want to twist your ankle."
"I probably will. These heels are a death trap." Holding onto Kyoya's arm, Haruhi maneuvered around the junk lying in the alley. Once they were in the bright lights of the street, she dropped his arm and they both proceeded to straighten their rumpled clothes. People walking by saw them and grinned. Haruhi realized what it looked like they had been doing in the alley, and blushed.
"We're already on East avenue, and seventh should be about a block from here." Kyoya either didn't have a clue what people were thinking, or didn't care.
"Okay. Lead the way, Kyoya." Haruhi saluted him. As they strolled down the sidewalk, Haruhi began to see that, while every space possible was covered in advertisements, none of them were similar to the one the twins described.
When they got to the intersection, Haruhi wanted to kill Mei. Seventh street was nowhere in sight and more likely than not didn't exist.
"Kyoya…"
"Haruhi…" They had both tried to speak at the same time, presumably to tell each other the same thing.
"We're doomed, aren't we?" Haruhi didn't see any point in sugarcoating the matter at hand.
"Pretty much. I don't have my wallet, and I doubt the twins actually put their number in my phone. Is your phone working?" He sounded annoyed, but luckily, Haruhi thought, his anger wasn't directed at her. That was something she never wanted to be on the receiving end of. She pulled her phone out of her bag and tried to call Mei. And then Haruhi discovered that she couldn't make any calls, because her phone had a touch screen only, no keyboard, and the cracks obscured the number pad. Fantastic.
"Nope. It's broken to the extent that I can't make calls. What about the hotel door?" Kyoya went back to check, and found that it had locked behind them. So that was out.
"So, we've been given false directions, we have no phones, no money, and we can't get back into the hotel unless we walk through the front door and practically beg to be disqualified. Now what?" Kyoya pondered, then answered with a proposition.
"How about we get some dinner?"
"How are we going to get food with no money?" Haruhi figured that he must have gone crazy.
"You'll see." Kyoya was realizing that tonight was going to be much more enjoyable than he'd originally thought.
A/N: I figured I'd make up for the late post by making this chapter longer than usual. What do you guys think? Like this length better than 1,000 word chapters? I think the next couple chapters are going to be this long – the length made writing this chapter easier.