Hi everybody, I know I haven't updated in a while but I just went back to school and I have so much homework! I posted the first half of this chapter the other day with the previous chapter, but not many people realised so I decided to post it with this chapter instead. Enjoy! xx
Twenty minutes later, Caleb arrived at the hospital, his eyes red and puffy. He shared a small embrace with Hanna, but she was quickly forgotten when the seriousness of the situation had set in. The waiting room had a somber atmosphere to it, the weak conversation fading to a murmur from someone every few minutes. The minutes turned into an hour, and they still hadn't heard anything.
Aria's hands started to shake as doctors heard other families in the waiting room, but not them. The past twenty-four hours had been traumatic, for her especially. She hadn't spoken to Ezra since he said he was about to leave for the airport the morning before Aria had prepared dinner for the two of them. There was sixteen missed calls and seven messages displayed on the screen of her phone, and she hadn't looked at a single one. She couldn't bear to think of the image she had seen on TV, him kissing the girl he thought he had lost. Although she was glad Nicole was alive, there was a small, selfish part of her that wished she hadn't been found. Everything was just so complicated now, and terror seeped through her blood at the thought of Ezra choosing Nicole over her. Sure, she was mad at him for letting her find out that way, but she loved him. She loved him more than anything in the world, and she didn't know what she would do if he were to just… leave.
"Aria? Are you okay?" Alison nudged her small friend out of her daze, noticing her shaking hands. Aria hadn't told anyone about the previous night, so as far as they knew, Ezra had come home and they had enjoyed a romantic dinner together. Oblivious to the chaos echoing in Aria's mind, Alison continued to look at the brunette, trying to read her expression.
"Whatever you're worried about, it isn't Spencer, is it?" She may be in the dark, but she was smart. Aria looked confused and nervous, not upset and scared like the rest of them.
Sighing, she debated whether to tell Alison the truth or not. If she told the truth, she risked being pitied on when they should be thinking about Spencer, but if she lied Alison would be able to tell and would continue to pry until Spencer came out of surgery.
"Nicole is alive." The three words were barely louder than a whisper, but they told something so big that they seemed more like a yell. Aria stared at the floor, not daring to look at Alison's reaction. She acted distracted with a piece of loose thread on her jeans whilst the blonde looked at Aria, eyes wide in shock. Tears fell slowly down her pale skin, her hazel eyes refusing to move focus from the floor.
"Aria…" Alison's voice was barely audible, her hand reaching sympathetically to Aria's shoulder, but the tearful girl flinched away.
"I'm fine. Let's just focus on Spencer." She wiped away her tears and sat up straight.
Despite her not wanting to be comforted right now, Alison leaned into Aria and they stayed like that, not speaking, just waiting. No one said a word, not Marco, Caleb, not even Mary, who had been sitting quietly in the corner, staring at her hands, which were still soaked in her own daughters blood.
She wasn't safe. He didn't know where she was. She could be in so much danger. He couldn't do anything about it, and he couldn't bear it. Toby couldn't sit still. He had read every single poster, sat in every position, stared at every place. Giving up, Toby decided to wait in the waiting room. Maybe he would meet someone and start a conversation; anything would be better than staying in that room. Of course, he would find a phone and order a taxi back home, or call Spencer, just to see if she was okay. Which she was. Nothing could have happened to her.
Sauntering into the large reception, Toby made his way to the main desk, asking about Yvonne.
Then he saw it. He saw the flicker of blonde hair out of the corner of his eye. It was all he needed to realise he was right. He was right about everything. They were in danger, and one of them had ended up in the hospital. His pulse race and his eyes watered as he walked tentatively around to where the Hanna's hair had been.
The next few moments felt like an eternity.
He saw Emily rush up to him. He felt the ache in his ribs when she crashed into him with a hug. He smelt the blood on her hands as she looked him up and down. He heard the countless questions she asked him. Soon enough everybody looked up. He saw their expressions turn from mournful to sorry in the blink of an eye. He heard his own voice mumble answers to Emily's questions. He searched for her. He kept waiting to hear her melodic voice behind him, or see her chocolate eyes between the sorrow faces. He kept expecting to feel her hand on his shoulder, or smell her familiar perfume amongst the blood.
But she wasn't there. She was no where to be seen. He saw all of her friends, her ex, the man who had a thing for her, even Mary Drake. But she wasn't here.
He had known from the moment he crashed that truck, he had felt it in his bones. He remembered their final kiss once more, her kiss to say goodbye. That kiss had been her last goodbye to him, and now she was gone.
He moved his hand to touch his lips, to feel where she had touched him. It was only then that he felt the wetness of his cheeks, and he realised silent tears had been rolling down his face. She was gone. She was gone, and there was nothing he could do about it.
He felt like he couldn't breathe. His body was numb. He couldn't stop the tears from falling down his face; he couldn't remember the last time he felt like this. The dull ache echoed around his heart, beating weakly, sadly. He was broken. If only he had pulled her back, told her how he felt, kissed her, then maybe things would be so much different. Yvonne had slipped from his mind, but he didn't care. If Spencer were to survive this, then he would never let her out of his sight.
"It's going to be okay." Emily whispered in his ear softly. She was leaning into him on her chair, holding his hand. Of course, those words didn't seem true to her, but what else could she possibly say.
If he didn't say it now, then it would have no meaning. He needed to say it.
"I love her." It was the first time he had said it out loud, but it felt right. Emily squeezed his hand tighter, whilst the few other people who had heard him looked up. Caleb had a strange look in his eye. Toby couldn't figure out if it was guilt or sympathy, maybe a bit of both.
"I might go home, get cleaned up." Aria murmured to Alison, conscious of the blood covering her hands. She stood up to leave, but Alison grabbed her arm.
"Do you want me to come with you?" She asked cautiously.
Aria sighed. "I think it's best if I go alone." She gave her a small smile and left, preparing herself before opening the messages left by her fiancé.
Spencer could hear voices. They were faint, but they were there. Until that moment she had been lost in the dark water, unable to hear or think. Was this what it's like to die? She thought about that question, whether she was ready to go. Suddenly, his name drifted into her mind like a ray of sunlight on a wet and windy day. She thought of their last kiss, how she wanted so badly to turn around when she was walking away, run back and kiss him more. She thirsted for the feel of his lips on hers, for just one last kiss. She loved him, even if the odds were against them.
But now she was somewhat aware of the situation she was in, nothing felt right. She knew she loved him, but did he still love her? He had a fiancé, a home, a new family. How could she ruin that for him? There was no way she was about to tear apart an engagement like a piece of paper. Not if that paper was bonded together with such a strong force. Not if that paper had writing on it that couldn't afford to be lost. Not if that paper didn't want to be torn apart.
Maybe she would if that piece of paper was damaged, had a hole or a rip. Maybe she would if that piece of paper had words scribbled out or had mistakes in every sentence. Maybe she would if a drop of coffee had fallen onto that piece of paper, a sign of weakness amidst that strong force, a fault in the bond. What if she was that sign of weakness, that fault? What if she was his coffee on paper? What if…
The pain. It hit her like a tsunami, crashing into her, ripping her open. It burned through her skin from the inside out, all her thoughts stolen from her mind in an instant. She desperately tried to think of him again, but it didn't work. The fire shot through her heart and ran down her veins, sending searing pains through her chest and shoulder. She tried and failed to move her hands and grasp at the area where the blaze entered her body, the water threateningly pressing on her eyelids once more.
No. She couldn't go under again. She needed him. She tried to stay afloat, but she was sinking fast. No. She couldn't go.
Spencer murmured to herself in her mind the only word she could think of. "Please."
She was dragged under.