Was the last chapter that bad? If it was, I would really appreciate it if you told me why. The same goes with this one; tell me what you think. It's really important for me to get some kind of feedback because it feels like screaming into the void if there is none.
Thanks to Nantai for betaing once again
Other than that, I made a little face-cast for this fanfic because I had time: rowanofferelden/of-ends-and-beginnings-fanfic-facecast/
Please review. Thank you and enjoy :)
Hermione blinked. Everything was dark and she was warm. Really warm. And there was something heavy and moving behind her. She moved her head to the side and let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. She was lying on the couch and being cuddled by Draco Malfoy.
Wanting to avoid the awkwardness, Hermione tried to extract herself from Draco's grip. What she hadn't expected was him waking up as soon as she lifted the arm he had draped around her. He jerked away from her, causing her to lose her balance and Hermione tried to grab him for support in an attempt to not fall from the couch. But as it was instead of being supported by him, Hermione managed to drag them both down from the couch. She landed on her back next to it and Draco ended up face-down half a meter away.
He cursed loudly and turned around to face her, rubbing his chin angrily and Hermione burst out in laughter, making him laugh as well.
"I pledge to not speak about this ever again," Draco said when they calmed down. "Are you alright?" he added as an after-thought.
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Of course. I am not a porcelain doll."
"Had to check. Society would kill me if I damaged their most precious brain. Oh wait. That's what I want. Maybe I should try it."
Hermione was about to smack him when her eyes went wide and she halted mid-air. "That's it! If we can't kill ourselves we should try to kill each other!"
This time it was Draco who started laughing and Hermione smacked him for real.
"It will work!" she said.
"And how exactly are we going to get rid of the bodies?" Draco asked, dead-serious.
"Acid?" Hermione shrugged.
"Acid? Are you crazy?" Draco leaned forward, grinning.
"I believe that there are muggle-criminals who use it to get rid of bodies. Or we could let the place let burn down. Preferably somewhere in the countryside where it will take a lot of time to find the bodies," Hermione mused.
Draco leaned back and shook his head, still grinning. "I can't decide if you are more fun drunk or sober. I am almost pledging for sober. Your eyes get this mad glint in them."
Hermione smirked. "You are more fun when you are drunk."
"That was a lie."
"Prove it."
Hermione rolled her eyes once again. "You are less arrogant and less of an ass."
Draco snorted. "Aren't those the things you currently enjoy most about me?"
"That would be the Firewhiskey, thank you very much."
"I truly enjoy you being mean the most," Draco said earnestly. "It is so honest and refreshing."
Hermione looked at him in bewilderment. "You can't be serious."
"I am not Sirius. My uncle was," Draco replied drily and Hermione's mouth fell open.
"How? Why?"
Draco shrugged and grinned again. "My mother made the mistake of telling me that he did it all the time when they were young some time after the war. I've been doing it since then. Makes people really uncomfortable."
Hermione tilted her head and watched Draco. He stared back for a while but averted his gaze after not too long. "What?" he asked when he couldn't stand it anymore.
"Why are you really doing it?"
Draco didn't look at her. "As I said. Makes people uncomfortable. Annoys them."
"That's not it," Hermione retorted calmly.
"Why are we even having this stupid heart-to-heart?" Draco muttered in annoyance.
"Why are you lying?" Hermione was still watching him.
Draco glared at her. "It's not your business. There's no reason for us to get touchy-feely."
"And yet you are the one who starts being serious in the most unexpected moments before he hides again behind his sarcasm. You should decide what you want. I don't have the energy to deal with your mood-swings," Hermione said before standing up. "I'm going home. Need some sleep."
With that, she left.
OoO
Draco didn't contact her until her holiday was over. Hermione wouldn't admit it loud but she was in a foul mood because of it. Or rather – her mood that had improved over the few days she spend with him had returned to normal. Hermione told herself that the mood improvement had been due to letting off steam at Draco's expenses and now that she couldn't she was holding all the negativity in again.
Considering that she got angrier and angrier with every passing day, especially when she had to deal with people and act nice, it was quite logical.
"What do you want?" she asked when he walked into her office at the Ministry.
"To solve the puzzle?" Draco offered weakly and Hermione's eyes narrowed.
"What's going on?" she asked.
"Something happened."
"And you came here because-?" Hermione rose an eyebrow.
"Because you are the only one who can understand," Draco looked her into the eyes as he pulled his sleeve up.
As soon as Hermione saw the red marks the anger lessened considerably but she wasn't going to let him know that.
"I need to break the curse. I have to," Draco said with determination.
Hermione grimaced. "I assume you continued the research without me. Why come to me? You fear you can't do it alone?"
Draco closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I could. But it takes time. And that's the problem. I don't want the time. I want it to be over."
"And I would speed the process up," Hermione concluded.
Draco looked away again. "That's not it."
That caught Hermione off-guard. Usually all people wanted from her was her knowledge. "Than what is it?"
"Your presence helps me cope," Draco said barely loud enough for her to hear. "It makes it bearable. You understand."
"Why are you telling me this?" Hermione asked.
"Because you were mad at me when I tried to lie. And I am honestly too tired to pretend. You were too tired to hold grudges and so am I."
Hermione sighed and stood up. She walked around her desk and pushed Draco into one of the chairs before pulling out her wand. She jerked his sleeve up and muttered a quick healing spell. She had gotten awfully good at them during the war.
"Did you cut yourself anywhere else?" she asked and when Draco shook his head she pocketed her wand again.
"Friends?" he looked up at her hopefully.
Hermione sighed but a small smile appeared on her face. "I am really not sure how I am supposed to react when you act all nice and vulnerable," she confessed.
"I can revert back to the asshole you have known before," Draco wiggled his eyebrows. "But just that you know, I will switch between both sides, depending on the situation. I know that you told me to choose but I can't. What I can is to promise to not bait you again like last time and switch only for a sentence or two."
Hermione ran a hand through her hair. "Fine."
"Thanks," Draco stood up. "Come over in the evening. We can get something to eat before looking into the books."
Hermione nodded and he turned to leave.
"Malfoy," she called out and he looked at her in surprise.
"We are going to talk about that," she motioned to his arm.
Draco was about to protest but then thought the better of it. "Alright. See you later." And then he left, leaving Hermione to her work.
She returned behind the desk and looked down at the file before closing it and hurling it across the room.
"Fuck this shit!" The job seemed even more pointless than before.
ooo
It was already past seven when Hermione arrived at Draco's flat.
"Had to stay in late?" he asked when he saw her and she grimaced.
"It's like they aren't able to do anything without me. I was greeted by a staple of paperwork when I walked in this morning. They hadn't touched anything while I was on holiday."
"Sounds bad," Draco commented and took her jacket.
"It is. Horrible actually," Hermione muttered.
"Then why don't you just quit?" Draco questioned as they walked to the living room.
"Because some of us have to work for a living," Hermione gave him a pointed look.
Draco rolled his eyes. "I do work. Only less and in a different way than you. But that's not the point," he stopped her before she could say anything. "The point is, that you could quit and get a job you like with brains like yours."
"What's your job?" Hermione asked, intrigued. She really hadn't been expecting Draco to work. He had no reason to.
Draco glared at her. "I know that you are trying to avoid my question. If I tell you, will you answer?"
Hermione glared back at him. "I am not."
Draco rose an eyebrow. "If you don't want to know..."
"You are a manipulative prat!"
Draco shrugged. "That's nothing new. And you are as manipulative as I am so who cares?"
"When have I been manipulative?" Hermione crossed her arms.
"Half the time I have known you. Considering we went to school together it means that you are manipulative quite a lot. And don't look at me like that! Just this morning you were cold to me to make me squirm even as you weren't really angry at me! After all you knew that you could have come to me yourself!"
Hermione shook her head at that. "Just because you are like that it doesn't mean that all of us are."
"If you are going to-"
"No, I am not going to say anything about Slytherins. Or at least I wasn't to," Hermione cut him off. "I think sticking to those stupid house characterizations and comparing everybody to it is childish."
Draco grinned. "How did you know I was going to say that?"
"Because you think like Harry and Ron. I had to start walking out every time they tried to describe somebody using the houses to make them stop," Hermione grimaced and Draco laughed at that.
"Don't worry, that won't be necessary with me," he said. "But I am starving. Would you be fine with Chinese take-away?"
Hermione nodded and they ordered their food. They spend the time waiting with chit-chat but when the food arrived Hermione couldn't take it anymore.
"So what's your job?" she asked.
Draco shot her a bemused look. "I am not going to tell you unless you tell me why you stick to that horrible Ministry-job."
Hermione huffed and bit her lip. She was really curious but knew Draco wouldn't change his mind.
"Fine," she said finally. "I'll tell you."
"I am listening," Draco smiled at her and took a dumpling from the container.
Hermione took the time to take a bite and chew it properly before she answered. "I am sticking to it because I simply don't see the sense behind changing it. I am living a life where I wish and expect to die at any moment. Getting a new job would suggest that I want to keep going, that I have plans, which I clearly don't. I am practically waiting to get rid of everything including my work."
Draco nodded. He understood that feeling. "Well, with the curse intact you got a reason to get a new job," he said. "As we don't know how long this will take, you might try to get for something that doesn't turn your brain to mush. After all, we need all of your brainpower."
Hermione smiled at him weakly. He had a point and she knew it. But she didn't know what she wanted to do instead. She looked up from her food and back at him. "So what's your job?" she asked yet again.
Draco swallowed what he had been eating and grinned at her. "I am a writer."
Hermione looked at him in surprise. "And what do you write?" she asked.
"Muggle children's books," Draco said and snickered when he saw her expression. "You don't believe me, do you?"
Hermione's eyes narrowed. "You are making a fool of me, aren't you?" she asked slowly. She wasn't entirely sure if he had been serious or not as both was possible with Draco.
"I am not. I have proof," Draco grinned and accioed a stack of papers and a children's book. He offered them to Hermione and she looked at them with awe.
"I can give you a copy and even sign it," Draco teased and Hermione looked up at him.
"I would actually really like that," she smiled.
Draco rose an eyebrow but didn't comment. They finished eating in silence and then stood up to walk to Draco's bedroom where the books were.
"I have finished almost all of the books mentioning the Horcruxes," Draco pointed to a corner of his room. "I'll hopefully manage to get through the remaining ones today."
Hermione nodded in understanding and took a book from the other pile. They sat down and started reading.
Several hours and books later Draco groaned. "This was the last one mentioning Horcruxes and still nothing," he said as he put the book away.
Hermione rubbed her eyes. She was getting tired. "Don't worry, we have still almost half of the books left," she said.
Draco nodded and stretched himself. Like that, the sleeves of his shirt slipped down a bit and revealed thin scars on his forearms.
Hermione's eyes widened as she remembered the incident in the morning. "What's up with these," she motioned to his arms.
Draco caught on immediately. "Just the usual," he said, not meeting her gaze.
Hermione ran a hand through her hair. "Why do you do it?" she asked.
"Helps me cope. I calm down, feel alive," he shrugged. "It's normal to self-harm if you are suicidal. Why does it even matter?" he looked at Hermione. "We are both trying to kill ourselves and you want to scold me over a few cuts. Why? It doesn't make sense!"
"I don't want to scold you. It's not my place to," she replied calmly. "I just try to understand. I've never done it and I don't know… The blood, the fact that hurting yourself actually helps you is somehow even more disturbing for me than the fact that we want to die."
Draco grimaced. "You are right. It is. To be honest I don't really like doing it. That's why I came to you today. It gave me the push I needed to get over my pride."
Hermione noticed he was rambling and took his hand. He looked at her in surprise and she squeezed it, giving him an encouraging smile.
Draco smiled back at her.
"I think we should call the quits for today," Hermione said and let go of Draco's hand.
He nodded in agreement. "We can continue tomorrow. Is that fine with you?"
"I have dinner with Harry and the others tomorrow but I can stop by afterwards if it isn't too late for you," Hermione suggested, not looking too happy as she spoke about her friends.
"Sure," Draco agreed.
Hermione smiled and stood up. "See you tomorrow," she said and apparated away after he bid his goodbyes.